


Close the Door, Throw the Key -Niall Horan Love Story-

by KitIsTheOne



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-14
Updated: 2013-02-16
Packaged: 2017-11-29 05:04:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 97,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/683113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitIsTheOne/pseuds/KitIsTheOne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Well,” Zayn says, staring at his hands. “I don’t really know how to sugar-coat this, so I won’t. Niall,” he says, looking back up at me. “I hate to be a pessimist, but… If it’s as bad as you said it is with her father, well… She seems strong mentally, but physically, she’s got to be suffering. When she laughed the first time, she was in horrible pain. You and I both know that’s what that was. She was covering it up the rest of the phone call.”</p>
<p>“What are you trying to say?” I ask, sitting up.</p>
<p>“I’m trying to say,” Zayn says with a sigh. “That there’s no way to know how much longer she’s going to last. One of these times, I guarantee that she’s going to need serious medical care. And hearing what you said about her father – Niall, he’s not going to be the one to take her. And what if you’re not there either?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

I walk down Brenton Avenue, humming to myself, just loud enough so I could hear and not bother anyone. This street was busy, but I never cared. I quite love people-watching. Some people do the oddest things. I near the corner and look around it quickly, seeing a man and letting him pass without disrupting him. I continue down 53rd until I come to Chleo's Pet Shop, quietly coming in the door.  
The dogs all perk up at the sight of me, and I smile, walking over to pat a few of them on the head. After I’m done with the dogs, I go to the back of the store to clock in. 3:55, just in time for my shift to start at 4:00. On Fridays I only work until 6:00, where on a normal day I’d be working until eight or nine.  
Friday is the day I get my paycheck, so usually after my shift I go out for a bite to eat or get something small for myself. Out of the $320 I get a week, $290 goes to my father, $20 goes to my cell phone bill, and the other $10 I get to keep for myself. I’m not bothered by this. Why waste money on myself when my dad can use it to pay rent and buy our food? My father doesn’t have a job, so I’m holding up the two of us with the money I make.  
I tug my sweater off over my head, revealing my navy blue t-shirt. I pin my name tag on my shirt, adjusting my hair so that it doesn’t cover the tag. I walk back into the store and set my sweater down behind the counter. Maria, the girl whose shift is before mine, smiles at me before walking to the back of the store to clock out. She waves at me and I wave back before she ducks out the door and starts walking down the street.  
Maria is a nice girl. We have exchanged a few words before, and she is really sweet to me. She’s really pretty, too. I’m surprised that she even bothers glancing my way sometimes. Well, time to get to work.  
I make my usual rounds, feeding all of the reptiles, birds, rodents, fish, and dogs and cats. I wipe the windows with cleaner from the inside because it gets dirty when the pups jump against it. After I get done with all of my tasks, its nearly 5:30. No one has come in the store at all.  
I turn the radio behind the counter on, and some song that I’m not familiar with comes on.

Get out, get out,  
Get out of my head.  
And fall into my arms  
Instead.

I don’t, I don’t,  
Don’t know what it is,  
But you’ve got that  
One Thing.

It's a good song, I have to admit. The voices of the boys are amazing. I listen to the end of the song to hear the name of it. One Thing, by One Direction. Hmm, I’ll have to remember that.  
I fall into a trance, listening to the different songs that come on the radio. I play with the dogs for a little, and when the end of my shift nears I go to grab my sweater.  
The person whose shift was after mine walks in and says a quick hi before heading to the back. When she comes back out, I go to clock out. My paycheck is waiting for me in my mailbox. I always ask for cash, because my father doesn’t want me to deposit checks and have a bank account of my own. He uses the saying, “What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is mine.” I always chuckle a little bit, because it is quite clever. He's only joking, so I don't take it too hard. All of the money my father allows me to have is in a jar up on a shelf in my room. I think I have about $200 saved there.  
I count the money, making sure that it is all there, and take my name tag off. I pull my sweater on over my head and walk out the door, waving to the girl on the way out. Pulling my phone out of my back pocket, I stuff my money down deep so that I don’t lose it. I check the time on my phone, 6:15. I have about two hours before the curfew my father set.  
I decide to head down to the bakery down the road. This was the small part of Miami, so everything was fairly close together. I walk in and go up to the counter, getting my usual.  
“Two slices of banana nut bread, please,” I say shyly to the old man behind the counter. I give him $5.75 for the order and move from the counter, waiting for my order to be ready.  
Sure, the price is steep, but the slices are relatively large, and the taste is definitely worth it. When my order is called, I go up to get it and take a table far out of the way so people don't have to see me unless they're looking for me. No one ever does though, so I'm not worried.  
I take a bite of my bread and immediately my taste buds cry with pleasure. It has just the right amount of almonds in it, with the sweet taste of banana. Great, like always. I'm just about to take another bite when someone slides into the chair across from me. They have a purple hoodie on with the hood up, so I can't see who it is.  
They keep their head down, looking back at the front of the store just in time to see a mob of girls rush by, holding posters and wearing shirts with boys' faces on them. Oh boy. But who am I to judge?  
“Oi,” I hear the person mumble, now obviously a boy. “I should never have ditched the lads just for a bite. Well, at least I landed in a bakery.” The first thing I notice is his accent. Irish, I think.  
He turns around to face me, and takes off his hood. The second thing I notice about him are his blue eyes and blonde hair that tie into his features nicely. Man, he's cute!  
“Hello there,” he says, smiling.  
“Hi,” I say, giving him a clumsy smile. Wow, Maci. Way to go.  
“What's your name?” he asks.  
“Maci,” I reply quickly.  
“Hi Maci!” He lowered his voice then, leaning on the table so that I could hear him better. “Tell me, have you heard of the band One Direction?” How odd of a question is that?  
I give him a questioning look. “I think I heard their song on the radio earlier, but I'm not familiar with the boys in the band.” He seems to be relieved a little.  
“Huh,” he says, pondering for a moment. I suddenly feel as if I'm being a pain.  
“I can move tables, if you'd like,” I say, moving to get up. He holds his hand out to stop me, taking me by surprise.  
“No, please stay, I need the company!” he says in a rush, looking into my eyes and freezing me. I wonder why he stops me. I just assumed that I was bothering him here. Oh well.  
He motions for me to shake his hand. “I'm Niall,” he says, and I take his outstretched hand. I feel a sort of tingle as our hands touch, and I pull away quickly.  
“Sorry,” I muttered, blushing and looking at the ground. Niall gives me a confused look for a moment, but nods his head and smiles.  
I awkwardly pick up my bread and start to eat it again. Niall looks longingly at my untouched piece and I laugh, but then quickly compose myself. I don't want to look like a fool in front of this nice boy.  
“Hungry?” I ask him with a smile.  
“Are you going to eat that?” he says shyly, gesturing to the bread.  
“I was planning on it,” I say, but then I smile, digging in my pocket for a ten dollar bill. I hold it out to him. “Go buy yourself two pieces, and buy a third for us to split.”  
He smiles sweetly, looking absolutely adorable. “It's alright, I can get it,” he says, getting out a wallet from his pocket.  
“No, I insist,” I say, trying to hand him the bill again. He sighs, letting out a small laugh, and takes the bill.  
“Fine,” he says, heading up to the counter. He pays with the bill and comes back with the bread, handing me the change.  
Niall begins digging in, making me laugh. He looks up, hearing my laugh, and I try to contain myself, fearing I've made him angry. Instead, he gives me a clumsy smile, and a bunch of the bread is stuck in his braces. I can't help but burst out laughing and he does too. When we finally calm down, we're sent into a kind of silence, but it's not awkward.  
We finish our bread, him finishing two in the time I eat one. We split the last piece, and when I go to grab my half, our hands touch again. The strange tingly feeling is back, and again I pull away – blushing like an idiot – letting him grab his piece first. We finish and talk for a while. It is really nice to have a conversation with someone other than myself.  
I check my phone for the time. 7:43. “Oh!” I say, surprised. Niall looks at me, raising an eyebrow, making me smile. “Sorry,” I say, “but I've got to go. I've got to be home by eight, and I walked here.”  
“Let me walk you home,” he says, quickly standing up. Why would he want to walk me home?  
“You don't have to do that for me,” I say, standing up and gathering my things.  
“I want to,” he replies in a rush, following me as I walk out of the bakery. “Plus, it's dark out!”  
Niall is right, it is pretty dark. I shrug and we started walking down the block. We chat about nothing in particular all the way down to my street. When we round the corner onto my street, I turn to him.  
“This is my street,” I say. “Thanks for walking me this far. You don't have to stay with me any longer if you don't want to.”  
“But I do,” he says, giving me a smile. “I've got to follow through.” I smile back and we keep walking.  
When we reach my house – a very small two-story – I stop at the driveway. “Thanks for walking me home, Niall,” I say, giving him a smile.  
“My pleasure,” he replies sweetly, and I blush.  
“I wish there was some way I could thank you,” I say, staring at my shoes.  
“Well, I could go for a hug,” he says, lifting his eyebrow. Really?  
I shrug, and he pulls me into an embrace. That weird tingle is there again, but I can't pull way this time because he has his arms wrapped tightly around me. He smells wonderful, though! When he lets go, he asks me for my phone.  
“What for?”  
“I'll add my number,” he says.  
I only have two contacts saved in my phone, my dad and my boss – I have no need for any others – so I felt kind of embarrassed handing I over. I didn't feel so bad, though, when I opened his phone and found only 25 contacts. Such a good looking boy only had 25 people? I added my name as Maci W., copying the other entries like Justin B., Demi L., Harry S., Liam P., and so on. Hmm, such odd names. I handed him back his phone, and he gave back mine.  
“Thanks, Niall,” I said. “For everything today.”  
“My pleasure,” he says, kissing my cheek. He smiles, so I do too, not knowing what else to do. I've never been kissed before. Not by my father, not by my mother. My mother died when I was two, so I don't remember her. We don't even have pictures of her.  
“I'll text you, Love,” he says, and I blush at the nickname. I walk to my front door and look back to find him waving, so I give him a little wave back, walking in the door.


	2. Chapter 2

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

I walk in the door, kicking my shoes off. My father is in his recliner, beer in hand, watching football.  
“Hello, dad,” I say quietly, not wanting to disturb him too much. I walk past him to the stairs.  
“Where's my money?” he growls, not taking his eyes from the TV screen.  
I dig my hand in my pocket, taking out the $20 that I need, then count out his $290 – and come up short. Uh oh. I dig around deeper in my pocket, trying to see if there was any money that I missed, but my hand closes around nothing. I had spent too much buying Niall's and my food! I'm only $4 short, though, so he shouldn't notice. I take the money over to him slowly. He rips it out of my hand and I go to leave, but he thrusts his hand out and takes a hold of my forearm. I wince because he is hurting me, but keep my mouth shut.  
My father counts the money out in his lap, and I flinch when he comes up short, just like I had. His grip tightens on my arm and I force down a cry of pain.  
“$286,” he says. “You're short, Maci!” he bellows, clumsily standing, towering over me by at least 5 or 6 inches.  
“I-I'm sorry,” I squeak timidly, looking down at my feet. “I bought me and my friend some food and-”  
“You bought someone food?” his voice thunders throughout the house. I nod, keeping my eyes glued to the floor. “We need that money for us! If it weren't for me, your sorry ass would be out on the streets and begging for food! Don't you dare take for granted that I let you live here, you weak fool! We buy our own food with this money! I will not have you go and throw it away on other people! Whoever they are, they can buy their own damn food!” he growls.  
“But dad,” I try to reason. “It was only four dollars, and I don't think that-” My head is whipped to the side, his hand connecting with my cheek. I don't dare cry out, that will just make it worse.  
“No one gives a damn what you think, you selfish little bitch!” he shouts, getting in my face. I can smell the alcohol in his breath. “Say you're sorry and you won't do it again.”  
“I'm sorry,” I mumble. “I won't do it again.” I'm not surprised when the familiar sting appears on the other side of my face, nearly knocking me over. He hit me harder than the first time, sending a bigger burst of pain through me. That's going to bruise.  
“I can't hear you!” he screams in my face.  
“I'm sorry,” I say, my voice strong even though I'm on the verge of tears. “I won't do it again.” I look him in the eye, but then I let my gaze fall back down to my feet.  
“Go to bed,” he hisses, murder in his voice. I do as I am told.  
I quickly walk up the short flight of stairs, grab a pair of pajamas, and head into the bathroom to change. I brush my teeth, too, getting the last of the banana nut bread taste out of my mouth. I head to my room, the second door on the right, and throw myself on the bed before my tears have a chance to escape. I shove my face in my pillow and proceed to cry myself to sleep.

 

~*Nialls P.O.V.*~

Maci. What a pretty name that belonged to such a beautiful girl. I wave to her and she waves back before slipping into her house. I turn around, smiling to myself. Maci seems nice enough, right? She's so easy to talk to! I feel like I can relate to her more than I can most people, but I'm not sure how just yet.  
I decide to call one of the lads to come pick me up. I dial up Zayn, and he picks up on the third ring.  
“Where did you go, Niall?” is the first thing he says. I can hear the rest of boys in the background playing some sort of game.  
“You wouldn't stop to find something to eat,” I whine. “So I slipped off on my own. I got a little caught up, though.” I chuckle a little, remembering the incident with the crazy American girls with all their signs. And then I remember Maci.  
“We were worried sick!” Zayn yells through the phone. “I'm telling you, Nialler, these American people are something!”  
“Thanks, mum, now stop your lecturing and come pick me up!” I say sarcastically.  
“Where are you?”  
“36th and Brenton,” I tell him, reading the street signs.  
Zayn hangs up after telling me he'd be here in a bit. After about five minutes I get tired of standing and take a seat on the curb. Not much traffic is going by, and the darkness calms me. I can't seem to get Maci off of my mind, though.  
Her perfectly waved brown hair fell in just the right places around her face. Her hair also has the smallest tint of red to it. It's beautiful. Her brilliant hazel eyes stuck in my mind the most. Little flecks of amber were among the different shades of brown in her eyes. And something about the way she holds herself – she isn't confident, that's for certain. But her shyness is adorable, and I like it. I hum my solo in One Thing, thinking of Maci the whole time.  
A car pulls up beside me and the window rolls down, revealing Zayn. He has his mum-face on that he always does when I get either in trouble or do something he disapproves. I roll my eyes and slide into the passenger's seat. I throw the seatbelt around me and sit back, preparing for a bit of a drive. It took a lot of running from those girls to wind up here. And if I hadn't, I would never have met her.  
“What were you doing all the way out here, anyway?” Zayn asks me, pulling away from the curb and driving down the street.  
I automatically smile as I think of Maci. I look out the window, trying to hide the goofy smile, but Zayn's glance at me already caught it.  
“What's her name?” he asks flatly. I think he means to sound sarcastic, but he sounds like he is teasing me.  
“What makes you think it's someone?” I ask, jokingly defending myself.  
“Oh, please, Niall,” he says, eyes on the road. “It's written all over your face – and I can't even see you face!”   
I roll my eyes and sigh. “Maci,” I say after a bit, still staring out the window. “Her name is Maci.

 

\---

 

I want to see her again, that's for sure. We're in Miami for at least another two weeks, so I'm sure there'll be plenty of time to spend with Maci. When Zayn and I get back to the hotel, I race up to the room I share with Zayn and immediately search the refrigerator. I had gotten hungry since I ate with Maci, and I pulled out some cold pizza from yesterday.  
I make my way through the piles of junk on the floor and plop down on the bed. My thoughts drift to Maci as I lay back against the headboard and take a bite of my pizza.  
“I'm going to get the boys,” Zayn calls as he heads out the door. The lads always come in our room to hang because even though it's quite messy, it's always the cleanest.  
Liam, Louis, and Harry all share a room, so it doesn't take long to round them up and bring them back here. I had laid back down, my head on the soft pillow. I'm staring up the the ceiling – thinking again of Maci – as Louis bursts into the room, shouting his head off.  
“NIALL YOU'RE BACK!” he yells, jumping on me.  
“Get off, Lou!” I manage to say after he knocks the wind out of me.  
He gives a little bit of a laugh before sitting on the edge of my bed. I sit up to find Harry has taken a place between the two beds on the floor and Liam and Zayn have found a place on the other bed.  
“Where did you go off to?” Liam questioned, raising his eyebrow. “It's getting a little late, and we have an interview early tomorrow!”  
“Yeah, Niall,” Zayn teased. “Where did you go?”   
I feel my face get hot and look down at the floor, thinking of Maci. I got several oohs from the boys as they taunt me, figuring most of it out.  
“What's her name?”  
“Is she fit?”  
“What's she like?”  
I'm bombarded with questions about Maci. Even though I have only spent about two hours with her, I already like her. She's such a sweet girl, and very attractive, I must add. I consider just saying nothing about her, but then again, these are my best friends. So I decide to open up a little.  
“Well,” I start, still looking at the ground. “Her name is Maci.” I look up and each of the lads are giving me a smirk. I roll my eyes and continue. “She's really shy, but when I spent more and more time with her, she got more comfortable and-”  
“What do you mean more comfortable?” Louis teases with a smirk. I roll my eyes, ignoring his dirty mind.  
“Overall, she's a really nice girl. And yes, to answer your question, Harry, Maci is very fit.” I smile at the last little bit, thinking more about her. She actually did happen to be extremely fit. “I'd like to spend more time with her.”  
“Did you get her number?” Liam asks curiously. I nod and he smiles, making me smile a little bit.  
“Do you fancy her, Nialler?” Zayn asks, his face serious. I can tell he is holding back a laugh, though.  
“To tell you the truth,” I address all of them. “I do think I like her.”  
The lads smile and Louis gives me a clap on the back.  
“So when do we get to meet her?”


	3. Chapter 3

~*Maci's P.O.V.*~

 

I uncurl myself from the covers as my alarm buzzes from my phone. I hit the snooze button, burrowing back under my sheets. I'll just sleep for a few more minutes. It seems like I've just closed my eyes before the alarm is buzzing again. I sigh heavily check the time, 6:30. I drag myself out of my bed and look through my closet, picking out a simple outfit for work [http://www.polyvore.com/untitled/set?id=66404531#stream_box].

I quickly brush my teeth in the bathroom and go to leave, but then something stops me as I look in the mirror. A bruise has formed on my left cheek in the place that my father hit me. I pull out the tube of foundation that I always keep under the bathroom sink just in case I do end up bruising when my father strikes me. It's pretty heavy duty, so it should stay on all day unless I wash it off sooner. This is the only type of makeup that I do use, but only when I get a bruise. I wince a little as I touch it, but I cover up the bruise and climb down the stairs.

My father has fallen asleep in his chair, and snores heavily as I creep into the kitchen, careful not to wake him. I quickly throw together a quick meal for myself and my father, leaving his in the microwave to stay warm. I stuff my phone in my back pocket and slip quietly out the door with my toast at 7.

The morning mist is a little chilly, but I can stand it. After all, I've been living in Florida my whole life. I actually quite like it here. The summers are hot and humid, but not too bad. The winters get a little chilly, but it's really something that I can handle. For being such a small girl, I can stand a lot. Right now is the transition between spring and summer, and it's actually relatively warm.

I get to the end of my street and turn the corner. It's a Saturday, so not may cars are out on the road at this time. A jogger heads my way and I shyly move to the edge of the sidewalk to get out of her way. She gives a small wave as she passes, and I smile a little at her. I move back to the middle of the walk way and continue on.

You know the smell of a heavy fog after a rain? I love it. I take a deep breath, inhaling the wonderful smell. It also looks really cool when the fog lays over the road like it is now.  
I get up to the street that the shop is at and turn onto it. It's always really quiet this time on Saturday. I always work the first shift on Saturdays, so I'm usually the first one awake at all on this street. I pull out the keys that my boss had given me and unlock the door. The pups are just waking up now, so I get only a groggy bark from each of them. I smile to myself, walking to the back to clock in.

I'm about ten minutes early – my shift starts at 7:30. I pin on my name tag and head into the shop. I only have to feed the animals today, another person cleans the cages and tanks later in the day. I make my rounds, and finally end with the dogs. After I've put food in their bowls, I pull out the gate that we keep behind the counter. We use it to put in front of the main shelves and the counter, to allow the pups to run around in more space than their pens, but without getting into all the toys and treats.

I open up the dogs' pen and smile to myself as they clumsily scurry out. They jog around the area before jumping into one pile on top of each other, playfully nibbling at ears, tails, and legs. I smile again, stepping over the gate. I unlock the register behind the counter and turn on the radio, hoping for the song that I heard yesterday to come on. Only a talk show is on right now. I'm just about to turn the station when I hear the announcer say that One Direction is on the show this morning.

One Direction is the band that sings the song I heard yesterday. It's also the band that Niall asked me about yesterday. I decide to listen to it, to learn a little about the band. Leaning against the counter, I watch the pups play while listening to the radio.

“Good morning Miami, and thanks for listening to Westly in the Morning!” the announcer says. “My name is Westly Timbridge, and on the show this morning we have the boys of One Direction. The teen heart throbs – Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, and Niall Horan – met on The X-Factor UK after entering as individual contestants. There, they formed a boy band and continued on to place third in the competition.” Wait, Niall? No, that can't be the Niall I met yesterday. I'm not that lucky – I don't just meet famous boys.

“I'm sure,” the announcer continues, “that all of you girls out there have heard their singles; What Makes You Beautiful and One Thing. The boys have just recently arrived in Miami, and are here on the show to tell us about themselves. Welcome, Liam, Zayn, Harry, Louis, and Niall!”

I hear all the boys say a 'hi'. I listen for Niall's voice, but I can't pick it out. See? Nothing like meeting a famous boy happens to me, I don't deserve it. I walk around the counter and climb over the gate. Sitting down to play with the pups, I still listen to the radio playing in the background.

“Now boys, tell me a little about what it's like to be you,” Westly says. “Zayn, you get a lot of girl attention – what's it like to have girls go nuts when they see you?”

“I think it's actually really cool to have people that like seeing us do what we love to do,” the boy who I assume to be Zayn says. He has a British accent, since the boys are from the UK. “Singing is our passion, and having people support us like they do – that's amazing, ya know?” There are several sounds of agreement from the boys.

“So Liam, what's it like being in the United States? Is it similar to the UK?”

“Well actually,” the boy – Liam – says, “it really is a mix of both. I mean, the fans are very similar here to the UK. The only thing that really changes about the fans is their accents.” The announcer chuckles a little, and Liam continues. “But the weather is so much nicer over here,” he adds with a small laugh. There are another several sounds of agreement.

“So, speaking of the fans,” Westly says, “some of you boys have girlfriends, and most of the fans are girls. How tough is it to stay in a relationship while you're in a different country with girls throwing themselves at you? How about you, Louis?”

“It's not really too hard,” the boy – Louis – says. “Sure, there are all of our beautiful fans out here, but you've just got to trust in each other. Plus, most of the fans are super supportive of Eleanor and I, and Liam and Danielle, and that's really nice.”

“I see,” Westly says. “Now boys, we know that Louis and Liam are off the market. But Harry, Zayn, and Niall, is there anyone special in your lives at the moment?”  
“Single!” one boy replies, but I don't know who.

It's quiet for a second, but when one of the boys starts to talk, all of the sudden the voice who belongs to Zayn blurts out, “Niall met someone last night!” Then my eyes go wide and my heart literally skips a beat. Don't kid yourself, Maci, he doesn't mean you.

I compose myself quickly, listening closer. “Zayn!” one boy shouts as the rest of the boys laugh loudly.

“Oooh,” Westly teases. “Looks like Niall is getting a little defensive! Since it's already out, why don't you tell us about this girl?”

“Zayn,” one of the boys whines. “Why did you do that?” Then my skips several beats. The boy talking has an Irish accent. Oh my God.

The boys continue to laugh, but Westly interrupts them. “Come on, Niall! You've got to tell us now! What's the story?”

“Uhm...” Niall says. “Well, we met when I ditched the lads for a bite last night. I was being chased by a bunch of fans,” there are a bunch of chuckles as he says this, “and I darted into a bakery to a table in the back – and there she was.” Oh God. Now I'm sure it's the Niall that I met last night. “We talked for a bit, and I walked her home, and that was that. We're friends.”

“Do you like her?” Westly teases.

“Yes!” I hear one of the other boys say. Oh my God.

“Liam!” Niall whines again. Wait, Niall likes me...?

“Well boys,” Westly says, breaking the tension, “looks like we've only got time for one more question. I had a final question planned, but I'm throwing that one out and replacing it with this one. What's the lucky lady's name, Niall?”

The boys snicker in the background and I hear Niall groan. Please don't let it be me. That is what the logical side of my brain says, even though I already know whose name he is going to say. But then there's this small part of me that yearns for it to be me. Why do I feel this way?

“Do tell, Niall!” Zayn says. “What is her name?”

Niall sighs heavily. “Fine,” he says. My full attention is now on his voice. What is he going to say? It feels like forever before he says something again. “Maci.” My heart does stop. “Her name is Maci.”

 

~*Niall's P.O.V.*~

 

“Are you kidding me?!” I shout at Zayn as we leave the radio station. “Why did you do that?!”

“Relax, mate! Just having a little fun!” Zayn chuckles along with the rest of the lads.

“This isn't funny!” I say, stomping my foot like a two-year-old. “That was seriously embarrassing! What if she heard that? What if she doesn't like me back? Then what? She won't want to talk to me anymore!”

“Relax, Niall!” Liam says, resting a hand on my shoulder. He frowns as I shrug it off. “You're exaggerating! It's not like she'll stop talking to you because you said you like her-”  
“She doesn't know who One Direction is, Liam!” I interrupt him. I see Louis put a hand over his heart and twist his face into mock astonishment, and I have to hold in a laugh. I'm supposed to be angry! “She doesn't know me as 'Niall for One Direction', she knows me as 'Niall, the boy she met in the bakery'. I liked to know that she wasn't just talking to me because I'm in a famous boy band! Oh, and by the way, you said I like her, not me!”

“Niall, relax,” Harry says, and I pull my eyes over to him. “Look, she was going to find out who you are soon enough anyway. You didn't honestly expect to have a relationship with her without telling her you're in a famous boy band, did you?”

I look down at my shoes as we walk to the car at the end of the parking lot. I haven't really thought about it. But wait a minute... “Harry, I only met her yesterday!”  
“Yes, but you fancy her already,” he says, and he has a point.

“But if you were a girl and you just met me, but had no idea that I was in a famous boy band, and the next day you heard on the radio that I'm famous and that I like you, wouldn't you be a little weirded out as well?”

Harry seems to think about this for a little bit as we pile into the van – Louis and Liam in the front and Zayn, Harry, and I in the back. Louis pulls out of the lot and starts back for the hotel.

“I suppose it would be a little strange,” Harry says at last.

I start to say something, but Zayn interrupts. “Niall, you don't even know if Maci heard the broadcast. Just chill out and text her, you have her number! If she did hear it, then try to explain to her. If she didn't, then so be it. But mate, you do know you've got to tell her sometime, right?”

I nod my head and look at the floor of the van. How will I explain it to her, though? Oh well. I guess I'll just have to wing it. I pull out my phone and search her contact name, pulling her up and sending her a quick message.

 

To Maci W.: Hey Maci!

 

She replies quickly, and I smile as I remember what I put my name in her phone as.

 

To Nialler;) : Hi Niall.

To Maci W.: Did you hear this morning's broadcast on Westly in the Morning?

 

There is a little delay in her reply and I start to worry, but then Maci finally answers.

 

To Nialler;) : Yes...

 

Uh oh.

 

To Maci W.: I'm sorry about that... I guess I have a little explaining to do

To Nialler;) : Just a bit...

To Maci W.: It's better hearing it in person. When are you free?

To Nialler;) : My shift gets off at 6 tonight, but I have to be home around 10.

To Maci W.: Perfect, I'll take you out for dinner and we'll talk then.

To Nialler;) : You don't have to, I don't want to bother you.

To Maci W.: No trouble at all. I owe it to you. Where do you work, I'll pick you up from there.

To Nialler;) : Chloe's Pet Shop, but just meet me at the bakery from last night. Do you remember where that is?

To Maci W.: How could I forget? :) I'll see you at around 6, then.

To Nialler;) : Sounds good.

 

“What's going on, Niall?” Liam pipes up from the front, breaking my concentration. “You're typing like mad!”

“Nothing, just talking to Maci,” I reply quietly.

“What did she say?” Louis asks.

“She did hear the broadcast,” I say, turning my head to glare at Zayn for bringing her up during the interview. He holds his hands up. “I'm picking her up for dinner around 6 to explain.”

The boys nod. I click the button on my phone, locking my screen. I look up to find Louis grinning like an idiot at me in the rear-view mirror.

“What?” I ask, getting defensive.

“Oh, nothing!” he says innocently, but he continues smiling. “It's just that our Nialler has a date!”


	4. Chapter 4

~*Niall's P.O.V.*~

“So where are you taking her, Nialler?” Zayn asks, handing me the car keys.  
It's 5:30, and I have to go pick up Maci in a bit. I'm just a bit nervous – I haven't been on a date in a long while, if this even is a date. I don't know what kind of food she likes. I'm a big fan of Nando's, but I don't think there's one here. There's a KFC in downtown Miami, and even though nothing compares to Nando's, anything with chicken in the name sounds good to me. I suppose that's a good place to take her, because everyone thinks chicken is good, right? Who am I kidding, though? I'll just wing it.  
“I think I'll just bring her to the KFC,” I tell Zayn, and he chuckles. “What?” I ask, getting defensive.  
“'I think I'll just bring her to the KFC',” he mocks me sarcastically. “Taking a girl to a KFC on the first date, very nice of you, Niall!”  
“Well where would you take her?” I sass him, crossing my arms.  
“Not to a fast food restaurant!” he teases, but I take this to heart.  
It's not my fault I don't know much about her! I only met her yesterday, and I know I like her and everything, but I haven't had much time to get to know her. I feel bad, and this must show on my face because Zayn's expression softens.  
“Awh, Nialler, I'm sorry,” he says, putting an arm around my shoulders. “I probably would do the same thing. Plus, if she's with you, she probably won't even care where you two are.”  
I look up at him and smile. “Thanks, Zayn.”  
He takes his arm off of my shoulders. “Now get going!” he teases, and I head out the door of our hotel room.

\---

It takes me a while, but I finally find the bakery again. Yes, I had been there just last night, but I had to remember through all of the screaming girls. I pull over to the side of the road and park. I hop out and enter the bakery, my eyes scanning the room for Maci. I finally find her, sitting at the same table that we were at last night. Her eyes are down, looking at her hands that are folded on top of the table.  
I smile at how beautiful she looks. I don't think she wears makeup – as if she needs it! Maci is also a wonderful person to talk to. It's almost as if she understands me, even though she doesn't know much about me. There's something about her that made me like her from the start.  
“Hi Maci,” I say, walking over to her.  
Maci looks up and her face brightens. She smiles sweetly, standing up. “Hi Niall.”  
I motion for her to follow me, and we walk out of the bakery and get into the car. I start it and pull away from the curb. It's quiet for a bit, and I fear that it's growing awkward. I have nothing to say, so I hope that Maci starts talking about something. Luckily, she does.  
“So where are we going?” she asks nonchalantly, looking out her window.  
“Well, I didn't know what kind of food you like,” I say. “So I kind of just thought that we'd go to the KFC, because everyone likes chicken, right?” I nervously wait for her reply.  
“We're going to the KFC?” she asks, turning her head toward me.  
“I mean, if you want to,” I say, fearing that she hates the idea. “We could go somewhere else?”  
“Are you kidding?” she asks, and I glance over at her to find her smiling. “I love chicken!”  
I chuckle a little, totally relieved. “Then that's one thing that we have in common.” Maci's cheeks turn pink and she turns to look out the window again.  
There's a silence for a long time, but this time it's not uncomfortable. We get into downtown Miami, and it takes a bit of searching, but I finally find the KFC. I pull into the lot and park, and we get out of the car and walk into the building. It's not too crowded – thank God – and we go up to the counter to order. There's a girl at the counter whose eyes go wide as we walk up. Apparently she recognizes me, because she got the biggest smile on her face.  
“Y-you're Niall Horan!” she says excitedly. I smile wryly. Fan-girling is definitely not something I like. “Oh my gosh! I love you guys! It's so awesome to meet you!”  
“Thanks,” I say. She stares at me for a little bit, making me uncomfortable. “What do you want to eat?” I ask, turning to Maci.  
“Uhm,” she says, her eyes searching the menu. “How about some popcorn chicken and a side of mac and cheese?” I look back to the girl at the counter, who enters Maci's order quickly and then looks back up at me, still smiling. I quickly look away, not wanting to feel weird. I read the menu, searching for something to eat.  
“I'll have the extra crispy chicken with a side of mashed potatoes,” I say looking back at the girl.  
“Oh, that's my favorite!” she says with a giggle, and I just smile uncomfortably. “Oh, sorry!” She enters it in and tells me the total.  
I see Maci start to reach in her pocket, but I stop her. “I've got it,” I say, smiling.  
She smiles back and nods. I pay the girl and she hands me a number and a slip of paper with a wink. I see that there is a phone number scribbled on the slip, but I just ignore her and walk away. On the way back to find a table, I throw away the piece of paper. We choose a table that's out of the way and sit down. I place the number down at the end of the table and Maci clears her throat.  
“So,” she says. “About this morning...”  
I look her in the eye nervously. “The interview,” I say, more of a question than a statement. Maci nods and folds her hands together.  
“You're in a world-famous boy band?” she asks. I nod. “And you failed to mention this to me... Why?”  
I shrug, looking down. “I don't know. I'm sorry, I should have. I would just much rather have had you talk to me because you wanted to talk to 'Niall Horan', not 'Niall Horan from One Direction'.”  
“Niall,” she says quietly, and I feel her hand on my arm. “I'm lucky that you even came to sit with me. I don't have... friends. You're one of the few people who even... bother saying hi to me, let alone taking me out for dinner.” What?  
“How could such a beautiful girl like yourself not have any friends?” I blurt. Smooth, Niall. Maci's face goes red. “I mean, I'm sure you have friends! You're such a nice girl, how can you not?”  
She looks down, taking her hand away. She looks so innocent, so beautiful right now. It really does surprise me that she doesn't have friends. I mean, she's got to have at least a few!  
“I don't know, Niall,” she says quietly. “I've never really had a friend since elementary. But then she moved away, and I was left without. I guess that I just distance myself from people. I would just bother them anyway.”  
Her words surprise me. She's really telling the truth! I don't understand why she would feel like she would bother people, though. Maci is so shy and quiet anyway, but even so, she's extremely nice and considerate. Any person would be lucky to have her as a friend!  
I don't really know what to say as she continues. “And when you sat down yesterday, I started to get up because I thought I would bother you. But then you stopped me, and I was really surprised that a boy like you would want to talk to me. And then I realized how great of a guy you are. It was really nice to have a conversation with someone other than myself.”  
She looks up and continues. “And then you wanted to walk me home, and I wondered why you would want to be bothered by me. And when we did get to my house... Niall, I had never been kissed – in any way – before.” Okay, now I'm seriously shocked. “This morning I was at work and turned on the radio, and One Direction's interview was on. I decided to listen. The announcer said the names, and when he said yours... I thought, 'No way does that sort of thing just happen to me'.”  
I still don't know what to say, so I let her finish. “I didn't think it was you at first – I tried to tell myself that it wasn't, because I'm not that lucky, I don't deserve it. But then you started talking about yesterday, and I then I knew it was you. Then you were asked if you like me, and – Liam, was it? – answered for you. And I don't know if it's true or not, but... I'm glad it was you on the radio.”  
I look into her eyes, and I know that she is being serious. Her face turns bright red, but I'm positive that mine is the same shade. I smile and she looks away. A person with a tray of our food comes around to our table. He takes the number from the end of the table and sets down the tray. I mutter a thanks as he walks away.  
I'm still letting what Maci said soak in as she grabs her food and takes a small bite.  
“I should have told you,” I say at last, picking up my food as well. “I'm sorry about that. But really, I think I'm the lucky one – to have met you, I mean.”  
She smiles, the smile that I've grown to love in just the short amount of time that I've know her. “No one has ever been this nice to me,” she says. “Thank you, Niall.”  
And with that, we begin to eat. I finish quickly, but Maci is only half way finished. I watch her – not in a creepy way, though – thinking of how true what I said is. I'm so lucky to have met Maci. There's something that I'm itching to tell her, but I don't know quite how to. I like her – that much is clear to me. Whether she likes me back or not, I don't know. I don't know how to tell her, but I try to play it as coolly as possible.  
“And Maci?” I say, trying to sound nonchalant. She looks up, swallowing the food in her mouth. “It is true.”  
I'm not sure if she understands what I mean at first. Then a huge smile grows across her face, and I can tell then that she knows what I'm talking about. I don't even need her to say anything. As long as she knows, I don't need her to say anything at all.

\---

After Maci finishes her food, we throw away our trash and climb into the car. I check the time on my phone, 8:10. Maci has until ten, and agrees to going back to the hotel the lads and I are staying at. When we get to the hotel I park in the lot and we go in.  
“Want to go into the pool area?” I ask, motioning toward the door that leads to the pool. She smiles and shrugs.  
I hold the door open for her and we walk in. She sits at one of the tables around the pool, and I follow suit. We talk for a little bit, and then I get an idea.  
“Want to go for a swim?” I ask, smiling. She looks at me, confused.  
“I don't have a swimming suit,” she replies, as if it were obvious.  
I chuckle a little bit. “I know,” I say. “We could go in our clothes, though.”  
Maci frowns. “The chlorine will ruin them, though.”  
“Oh well, I guess you'll just miss out on the fun,” I tease.  
“I'll put my feet in, but I won't go in any further than that,” she says, rolling her eyes.  
I shrug, standing up. She does the same and goes to the edge of the pool, putting her feet in the water. I tug my shirt over my head and pull off my pants, leaving me in only my boxers. I set my clothes on my chair and turn toward the pool. Maci turns around, and seeing me her eyes go wide, her face going red. She turns back around to face away from me and I chuckle a bit. Then I take off running toward the pool, jumping over Maci as I do a flip into the deep end of the pool.  
I come up to the surface, the cold water shocking me a bit. I turn around to see Maci grimacing as she wipes away water that I splashed on her. I grin at her and drift into a backfloat. It's quiet for a little bit, and I listen to the small sounds echo around the large pool room.  
“I'm going to be completely honest with you,” I hear Maci say, breaking the silence. I come out of the backfloat and turn to face her. “I don't know how to swim.”  
“Really?” I say, surprised.  
“I never learned,” she replies, shrugging. She kicks her legs back and forth in the water.  
“Well then I might just have to teach you,” I say, smiling and swimming over to her.  
“Not now, Niall,” she says, rolling her eyes as I reach her.  
“Why not?” I whine, sticking out my lower lip.  
“Because I don't have my suit on, and I don't really want to learn right now!”  
“Pleeeeaaaassseee?” I say, giving her my best smile. Maci shakes her head.  
“There is no way that you are going to get me into this pool, Niall,” she says sternly.  
“We'll see about that!” I yell as I grab her arms and pull her in.  
She shrieks as she hits the water. She struggles to come above the surface of the water and turn around, and I grab her waist from behind to support her. I can't help thinking that it feels so right to hold her in my arms.  
“Niall Horan!” she yells, trying to push away from me. “Get me out of this pool right now!”  
I just laugh, pulling her father away from the wall. She is facing away from me, so I can't see her face, but I'm pretty sure that she's really angry. Still holding her waist, I pull her into the deepest part, her yelling at me all the way.  
“Niall, let go! Seriously, get me out of here! I don't want to be in the water! Niall!”  
“You want me to let go?” I ask jokingly.  
“Yes! I want to get out of here!” Maci yells in frustration.  
“Fine,” I say, reluctantly loosening my grip on her waist, but I don't let go completely. She screams at the top of her lungs as her head slips closer to the water. She manages to turn around and throw her arms around my shoulders, burying her face in my chest.  
“Niall, don't let go!” she yells.  
I laugh for a while, tightening my grip around Maci's waist as she tries to calm her breathing.  
As soon as I calm down though, I turn serious. “I'll never let you go, Maci,” I say, kissing her forehead.  
I feel her tense, but then relax in my arms. I feel her smile against my chest. “I don't know if I want you to,” she says, looking up at me.  
I look into her eyes, the brilliant hazel pulling me in. We sit like this for a while, just looking at each other, and I can feel her start to open up to me. But then I notice something on the left side of her face. Something is on her cheek – it's a fairly dark brown that looks like it's fading. I recognize it, foundation I think. Since it looks like it's coming off anyway, I remove one of my hands from around her waist to brush it off. She winces as I do, and I don't know why – that is, until I remove my hand. The smile on my face immediately disappears.  
There's a horrible bruise on her face.


	5. Chapter 5

~*Maci's P.O.V.*~

 

“Niall, let go!” I yell, frustrated with him. I can't swim, and my clothes will be ruined by the chlorine! “Seriously, get me out of here! I don't want to be in the water! _Niall_!”

He has his arms wrapped around my waist from behind, and pulls me farther into the deep end. I can't swim and I can't believe that he actually pulled me into the pool! But no matter how annoyed I am with him, I can't ignore the fact that it feels so right in Niall's arms. I've grown more comfortable with him in the short time that I've been with him, which feels strange to me. I just don't interact with people like this. This boy had an odd effect on me – I can already feel myself changing a bit.

“You want me to let go?” Niall asks jokingly.

“Yes! I want to get out of here!” I yell back, even though the honest answer is a no.

“Fine,” he says simply, his arms loosening from around me.

I start to fall into the water and panic. My body goes rigid, and I shriek as my head gets closer to the water. I finally manage to turn around and throw my arms around Niall's neck, clinging for dear life. My heart rate is through the roof – I've never liked water all that much.

“Niall, don't let go!” I scream, burying my face in his bare chest.

He starts laughing but his grip on me tightens. I try to pull myself together. As soon as Niall calms down, I hear him get serious.

“I'll never let you go, Maci,” he says, kissing my forehead. My breath hitches and I get a weird feeling in my chest, my cheeks burning.

“I don't know if I want you to,” I say quietly, before I can stop myself. I pull away and look into his eyes. Some part of me hopes that Niall didn't hear, although the rest of me wants him to have heard. _What is this boy doing to you, Maci?_

I smile and he returns the favor. He looks into my eyes and I'm lost. He really is a wonderful boy. And what Niall said earlier... It's true, he does like me. And I think... I think I like him too. But then again... I've just met him! And do I really deserve him? I mean, I'm just a regular – well, pretty useless, actually – girl. And he's... He's a famous singer – and a gorgeous one at that! And what would my father do...?

I'm snapped back to reality when Niall's grin fades a bit. I wonder what's wrong as he takes one hand from my waist and lifts it to my left cheek. I wince as he brushes over my cheek because – for some odd reason – it hurts. He seems to focus more on that side of my face, and then his face drops completely into an expression of horrified recognition and confusion.

I give him an odd look. “What's wrong?” I ask, worried. Is there something wrong with my face? Is that why it hurt? Oh God, I'm so embarrassed... _See, Maci? You're not good enough for him._

“Maci?” he asks, his voice faltering. I furrow my eyebrows, waiting for him to continue. “Why... Why is there a bruise on you face?”

My eyes go wide. I'd forgotten about the bruise! _Oh God, the foundation must have come off in the pool! Oh no, he can see it! Think Maci, think! You slipped in your kitchen and fell against the table! Yes, it's stupid, but it sounds okay..._

“Nothing,” I try to say, but it only comes out a whisper when I remember what happened last night.

I see that we have drifted close to the side of the pool, and turn around in Niall's arms. I use some of my strength to push away from him. I reach the wall with some effort and hoist myself out of the water. I hear him swim to the edge behind me, but I've already taken off toward the towel rack. I grab two towels and try to dab off the extra water that's coming off of me as Niall climbs hurriedly out of the water.

My chest tightens and I drop the towels, even though I'm still soaked. I run toward the table to grab my phone and shoes and, hearing Niall close behind, I start to run toward the door to the lobby, but it's too late. Niall catches me by the waist, sending a shiver up my spine. He spins me so I'm facing him and places both hands on my hips so that I can't move.

“Maci,” he says, looking me dead in the eye. “Why is there a bruise on you face?”

 _No! Don't ask that, I can't lie to you if I tried!_ I shake my head, looking away. Standing there – sopping wet and clinging to my shoes – I must look so afraid, so fragile. One of two things that I know I am not. I am not fragile.

“Maci,” Niall whispers, using two fingers to turn my head toward him that I'm forced to look at his kind face. “You can tell me what happened. I can tell that you're trying to hide something.”

Even though I'm face to face with him, my eyes travel everywhere but his. I know that if I do look Niall in the eye, I'll cave in. I can't though – my father says that if I tell people, then I am weak. I am not weak.

“It's nothing,” I whisper. “I just... slipped. I slipped in my kitchen and hit my head on the table. Clumsy me!” I give a small laugh, but one look at his face says that he's not convinced.

I chew on the inside of my cheek – something I do when I lie, I don't know why – but catch the inside of my left cheek, the one with the bruise. I whimper little, and Niall catches this.

Shaking his head vigorously, he says, “Don't lie to me Maci, that's not it. That kind of accident doesn't bruise this badly.”

I bite my lip and am forced to look into his eyes. Their soft blue had turned to empathy, comforting me a small bit. Niall moves one of his hands from my hip to the unbruised side of my face. He strokes my cheek, sending another shiver up my spine.

“It's okay, Maci,” he says softly. “You can tell me.”

He has no idea how badly I yearn to tell him – how day after day my father hits me, a different place every time. Some bruise, some don't – it hurts all the same. I want to tell him how many tubes of foundation that I have been through, all of the long sleeves and jeans that I have had to wear to keep people from asking – as if they would care. How many times I have had to stop myself from talking to anyone at all, out of fear that I might grow close to them, and my father would hurt them too. I cry, but only when no one is there to wipe away my tears. Serves me right, for being so weak.

But having Niall here, even for just a short amount of time – he has an odd effect on me. I've never opened up to someone like I have to him. That moment while we were eating – those words just poured out of me. No matter how true they were, I was surprised by my courage to say them. But these words, I can't say. Not to Niall, not to anyone.

“No,” I whisper, looking away.

Tears start to form in my eyes and I shut them tight to keep them from falling. I shake my head, reluctantly stepping out of Niall's comforting touch.

“No what, Maci?” he asks with worry threaded heavily in his voice.

My eyes are still shut tight, but that doesn't keep the memories from flooding back.

 

_**Flashback**_

 

_“I'm so sorry!” I say, cowering from my father's gaze._

_He towers above my small 12-year-old figure, and I feel about the size of an ant. I had bumped into him because I hadn't seen him come up behind me. I had been making dinner, and was carrying our finished food to the table. I accidentally dropped the plate and it had shattered, slicing open both my father's and my own feet._

_“Dammit, Maci!” he yells, dropping the glass beer bottle in his hand to hold one of his cut feet._

_The bottle shatters against the tile floor and what's left of the alcohol inside splashes over my cuts. It stings badly and I jump back, yelping a little bit. I look back up at my father to apologize again, but I don't look fast enough. His fist buries into my stomach, sending me stumbling back several feet and gasping for air._

_“You bitch!” he shouts, his words slurred. “That hurt!”_

_“I'm sorry!” I whimper, still trying to recuperate. “I'll clean it up!”_

_“Damn right, you will!” he bellows, hurling a piece of the broken bottle at me._

_I try to move out of the way, but I can't get away fast enough. He threw it hard enough that it opens a big gash on my right forearm. I cry out in pain as my father yells more profanity at me. He growls and leaves the kitchen, grumbling all the way to his chair about how reckless and worthless I am._

_I clean up the mess before tending to my bloodied arm. The wound is extremely deep, I probably needed stitches. I wouldn't go to the hospital, though. Not after what my father was about to say. I hear him get up from his chair and stomp over to me. He gives me a glare before speaking._

_“You are weak,” he says. I just look at the ground. “You will never be strong enough to leave this home. You will never survive in the outside world, not without me.” Up until now, I hadn't cried. But now, tears begin flowing down my cheeks, only angering my father._

_“You see!?” he shouts, grabbing my wounded arm. I cry out in pain, but this only makes it worse. His grip tightens, squeezing more tears out of my eyes. “If it weren't for me, you'd be dead! So remember that when you get hurt. I'm making you stronger, because you are weak!”_

 

_**Flashback Over**_

 

My eyes still closed, I rub my right arm. I can still feel the scar, a raised ridge that reminds me every day of that awful night with my father.

 

_**Flashback**_

 

_I sit on my bed doing my math homework. I hear the home phone ring, deciding to let my father answer, and go back to focusing. It was only my first year of high school, and I was already having trouble in math. My hand also ached from the current bruise that shown on it. I hadn't started covering up my bruises yet, hadn't thought anything about it. No one cared enough, anyway._

_I'm nearing the end of my work when my father bursts into my room, steaming mad. His fists are clenched at his sides, and his face is bright red. My eyes go wide and I freeze, wondering what I've done._

_“That was your teacher on the phone,” he seethes, hatred grasping his voice._

_“What teacher?” I ask, confused._

_“IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT TEACHER IT WAS!” he bellows, making me jump. “He called about the bruises, Maci!”_

_I flinch. Mr. Johnson had stopped me earlier that day, asking about the reoccurring bruises on my arms. I just froze and hurried out of his classroom._

_“What...?” I ask hesitantly._

_“THE BRUISES!” my father thunders. I feel myself begin to shake._

_“Oh...” I say weakly, looking down at my hands._

_“Are you talking to people about your bruises?” he shouts. I shake my head quickly, but he continues. “Talking about them makes you weaker! Don not shove you self-pity on other people! I will NOT be getting another one of these phone calls! Will I, Maci!?”_

_I keep my head down, and I don't see my father approach me. I only feel the sting of his hand as it connects with my face. I'm knocked sideways and up against the wall._

_“Maslin Watson,” he says, using the full name that I hate. “You. Are. Weak.”_

_And with that, he storms out of my room, slamming the door on his way out._

 

_**Flashback Over**_

 

From that moment on, I never shed a single tear in front of anyone but myself, and I intend to keep it that way. The only reason I shed tears at all is because I am weak.

“Maci,” Niall says, putting his hands on my shoulders and releasing me from the nightmares that I call memories. “No what?”

“I won't cry,” I say, but my voice betrays me. “I won't be weak.”

I pull away and start to dash for the door. Niall catches me by the arm and pulls me to the side so that the people in the hotel lobby can't see us.

“No, Niall, just let me go home,” I whimper, trying to push him away, but he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me into a tight hug.

“Maci,” he says softly into my neck. “Crying isn't for the weak. It's for the strong who have been strong for too long.”

With those words, I lose it. I throw my arms around Niall's neck and bury my face into his shoulder, ignoring the stab of pain I feel on the side of my face. I realize that both of us are still sopping wet and Niall doesn't have a shirt on, but I don't care anymore. I let loose all of the tears that I have been holding in. The ones from every single day, of every single month, of every single year since my father started hitting me. It feels like am crying for hours in his comforting embrace, but I don't mind.

His arms are the one place that I have ever felt that I belong, yet I still don't feel deserving. He comforts me by humming songs that I'm sure I've heard but can't put a name to. We stand in the embrace for what seems like forever, as my heavy sobs slowly turn into whimpers, then soft hiccups. I finally collect myself enough to pull away. Niall gives me one last squeeze before loosening his grip and holding me at arms-length.

“I'm so sorry,” he says, giving me a pained expression.

I shake my head, giving him a weak smile. “It's not your fault, you didn't do anything.

He nods, his face staying serious. “You don't have to tell me what happened, but I'm here to listen f you need to let it all out.”

I nod my head and start to pull Niall over to the table where we sat earlier. He sits down and offers me a spot on his lap. I accept the invitation and curl up into him. He wraps his arms around me, further making me feel like I can trust him.

We sit like this for a while and I listen to his steady breathing. I like the feeling of being safe and secure, and maybe even wanted – three feelings that I have never felt before. There is something about Niall – something about him that made me trust him, that made me feel like I can finally be honest with him.

“Niall?” I ask quietly.

 _“_ Hmm?” he replies, waiting for me to go on.

“You said that you would listen, right?” _What are you doing, Maci?_

“Of course. Always,” he says, his arms tightening around me and making me smile the smallest bit.

“Well, I'm going to tell you. But you have to promise not to say anything until I'm done, because at some points it's going to get really hard for me to tell you. Okay?” I hold my breath, waiting for Niall to answer.

I feel him nod and I sigh. Taking a deep breath, I prepare myself for what I'm about to say. _Should I really tell him? I haven't known him for long, but I already feel like I've known him forever!_

Yes, I decide. I will tell him. I'll tell him everything; from the day that I can remember all the way until last night. My mother's death, my father's alcoholism, the beatings, my scars – everything.

And it all just pours out of me.

 

\---

 

By the time I finish, my tears have long since run out. Niall did what he promised, he said nothing, though several times I felt him tense and begin to shake with anger. He didn't speak – and for that, I am grateful.

“I'm finished,” I say to Niall, messing with the still-soaking scarf around my neck. There is a long silence, and I start to worry. “Niall?” I ask, pulling back to look at him.

He wears an expression of a mix of anger and surprise. He just looks at me, studying my face. I want him so badly to say something, anything! Just to let me know that he's here for me like he says. I wasn't quite sure how he'd react when I started telling him all of the things my father has done. I had had many ideas, but silence wasn't one of them.

“Niall?” I whisper. “Please say something?”

He blinks once, twice, three times. It feels like forever before he actually get the words out of his mouth. “I will just make it clear,” he says hoarsely. “That as long as you will know me, I – nor any people I know or love – will _ever_ lay a hurtful finger on you.”

Relief floods me. Niall has no idea how much what he has just said means to me. There are no words to describe how comforting it is to have someone that knows of the pain I have been through – and for him to promise me something like that? If I had any tears left, I think that they would have fallen right now.

I smile, but it is not strong. “Thank you, Niall. Thank you so, so much.”

I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his shoulder. I have never felt this way about anyone before. I know I've only known him for such a short amount of time, but I can honestly say that I like Niall, more than just a friend. I can trust this boy. It feels right in his arms. Talking to him come easy to me. Being with him is amazing.

But sadly, all good moments must end.

My phone starts ringing. My ringtone is Switchfoot's _I Dare You to Move_. I sigh and move from Niall's lap, and he starts to put his shirt and pants on over his wet boxers. I don't bother checking the caller ID. There's only one person that would be calling me now – my father. I start to feel guilty for telling Niall, but then the feelings stop. My father has no way of knowing that I told Niall. I relax a little and answer the phone.

“Hi, dad,” I say into the phone.

“DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?” my father screams in my ear. I wince and bring the phone away from my head. I hear Niall huff from hit seat, and he stands and walks over to me.

“No, I don't,” I say quietly.

“IT IS 10:15, MACI!” he screams, and I flinch. _Oh no. I've missed curfew._ My chest tightens and I take slow breaths in an attempt to calm myself. I can tell Niall is getting tense because he wraps his arms around my waist. “GET YOUR WORTHLESS ASS HOME NOW!” Niall's arms tighten around me, comforting me.

“I'll get home as soon as I can,” I say as respectfully as I can. “I'm about twenty minutes away. I'm so sorry. This won't happen again, I promise.”

“Sorry doesn't cut it,” my father hisses. “Two infractions, two days in a row. There will be severe consequences!” And then he hangs up.

I slowly bring the phone down to my side, my eyes wide. My heart is pounding in my chest, and my breathing is shaky and fast. I just stand there, frozen, not knowing what to do. Niall brings me closer to him and rests his head on my shoulder. I don't come out of the position I am in. I just stare at the wall while I collect my thoughts.

Tonight consisted of many realizations for me.

  1. Niall is in a famous boy band; One Direction
  2. Niall likes me
  3. I can trust Niall
  4. I do, in fact, like Niall in the same way he likes me
  5. I am not weak
  6. I can feel safe, secure, and wanted
  7. I've missed curfew, my father knows, and he is angry
  8. I am going to get beaten, and it is going to hurt




	6. Chapter 6

~*Maci's P.O.V.*~

 

I think most people would disagree with me when I say that knowing that you're going to get hit before it actually happens makes it worse. Well, I know that it does for me.

I start to hyperventilate in the passenger seat of Niall's car just thinking about the state that my father is in. He's beyond mad, that's for sure. And just yesterday I came home four dollars short – that could have easily been prevented. I wouldn't have gotten hit, I wouldn't be freaking out as much right now. And missing curfew! What is wrong with you, Maci? You've never missed curfew before. Ohhh God, I'm in for it. I wonder how bad it will be. Where will I get hit –

My train of thought is lost when Niall places his hand over mine, making me jump. My head whips over to him. He looks at me worriedly as he pulls up to the stop light. I give him a weak smile and turn my head back out my window.

What is this boy doing to you, Maci? You met him yesterday, and you're already holding hands and hugging... Is this how it works? I like Niall – that's for sure. And he likes me back, even better! And it's fair to say that we've been through a lot in the small amount of time that we've spent together. So I don't see how it would be a problem... But of course, there always is. I don't want Niall to get hurt. That's the problem. If I get to close to him, my father might hurt him, too! Niall will get hurt.

We finally reach my neighborhood and I start to breath heavily, my heart rate picking up again. Niall squeezes my hand, trying to comfort me.

“Is there any way that I could help?” he says desperately. “Please, Maci, let me do something, _anything!_ I can't let you go in there and get hurt, I won't do it!”

“No, Niall,” I say sadly, shaking my head. “There's nothing that you can do. I have to go home no matter what. And I'm going in alone. I can't risk you getting hurt.”

“Oh, Maci,” he says, grim reasoning in his voice. “I'll be hurt no matter what! If I let you go in there alone I'll never be able to go to sleep at night. Maci, what if he hurts you – beyond repair? What then? He said something about two infractions? And then he said severe consequences! It's horrible already, and now he says it's going to get worse than _beating you?_ Maci, I can't stand it!”

“Niall,” I whisper as Niall pulls up to my house and stops the car. “Please stop trying to convince me to let you go in with me. It's not going to happen. I have to tough through this like I have through all of the other times. And I need you to support me.”

“Support you?” he says incredulously. “Support you walking into your own home _alone_ to be _beaten?_ ”

“No, Niall!” I yell, surprising both myself and Niall. I put my hand on the door handle and take a deep breath. “I need you to support me afterward! No one has ever been there for me before, but I needed it! I need you to be there this time, to support me after.”

“Maci,” he says, sounding on the verge of tears. “If I let you go in there alone, there will be nothing left to support!”

What did he just say to me...? I have handled my father's beatings before. What makes now so different, other than the fact that he's more angry? Did Niall just say that I can't handle myself? Hurt and anger flush throughout my body. It must have shown on my face, because Niall automatically changes his tone.

“Maci, you know I didn't mean it like that!” Even though I am so tempted to forgive him and soften, I don't. I see this as an opportunity to make him stay in the car.

I put on my best glare and throw open the car door, stepping out into the night.

“Maci!” Niall begs. “Please-” I can't hear the rest of what he says because I slam the door shut.

I start walking up the driveway to the front door, but I hear Niall get out of the car. His feet thunder against the concrete, and I hear him get closer. As soon as he is about ten feet away, I whip around, making him freeze.

“ _Don't_ ,” I say harshly, giving him a hard glare, “ _follow me.”_

And with that, I spin around and take off for my front door. “Maci!” Niall shouts behind me, but I'm already through the door. I close it just as he reaches the porch, and lock the door.

“Please, just leave,” I whisper against the door, on the verge of tears. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, leaning against the door. _I'm so sorry, Niall. I hope you'll forgive me._

I open my eyes and stand up straight – only to find my father waiting, fists clenched, and beer in hand.

 

 

~*Niall's P.O.V.*~

 

“ _Don't_ ,” Maci hisses with a glare, “ _follow me.”_

And with that, takes off for her house. “Maci!” I shout, but she's already through the door. I sprint as fast as I can to catch up, but the door shuts and I hear the bolt slide into place.

 _No. No, no, no!_ I feel utterly defeated. I like Maci, _a lot_. And to hear that her father abuses her... That's tough on a guy! And then to hear him pretty much say, 'I'm going to beat the shit out of you when you get home' – that's traumatizing. I didn't know how to handle Maci before she rushed into her house. I said one wrong thing in the car and... Oh God, _Maci._

The pain swells in my chest and I take off back toward the car. _There's no way you're going to cry, Niall._ I throw myself into the driver's side and whip my seatbelt around me. I had left the car running, so all I had to do was step on the gas pedal and I was gone – away from Maci, away from her father, away from the torture that he was putting her through. Staying on this street right now would only cause my heart to break. There wasn't any stopping it now – she had locked the door, making helping her impossible.

So I leave. I hate myself as I drive away, looking in the rear-view mirror at her house. My grip tightens on the steering wheel as I let sink in what just happened. Maci, the girl I like so much, confessed to me that she has no friends and that her father abuses her. Then, when her father called in advance to let her know that she was in for it, she wouldn't let me help her. I let her walk into a house where she could be seriously wounded.

_What have I done?_

There's no holding them back anymore, it's useless. I pull into an empty lot and put the car in park. “ _DAMMIT!”_ I scream, slamming my hands against the dash. That's when the tears start to slide down my cheeks. I rest my head against the top of the steering wheel and zone out. I don't know how long I'm sitting there, but eventually my eyes run dry. I'm still shaking, but I pull myself together enough to pull out of the lot and head back to the hotel.

I sluggishly park the car and slump into the hotel. I open the door to our room, not bothering being slow anymore. I slam the door shut, run past a gaping Zayn, and throw myself face down on the bed, renewed sobs racking my body.

_Why the hell did you leave, Niall?_

I hear Zayn do an intake of breath and jump off his bed, running out the door. I don't care. Leave, like I left Maci. I don't deserve comforting, and I'm right. She's probably getting beaten right now, and I'm sitting here in a nice hotel room, with five of my best friends. She doesn't even have friends! I don't deserve to be this lucky, and she doesn't deserve the pain that she goes through.

I don't hear the rest of the lads come in the room, but I figure they're here when Louis pounces on me. “Niall,” he whimpers. “Niall, honey, what's wrong?” I don't know why, but I snap.

“Get the _hell_ off of me, Louis!” I seethe, rolling over so that he's thrown onto the floor. The other three boys just look extremely surprised.

“What's your issue?” Harry shouts, glaring at me and stooping to help his best friend. “We're here to help you, not hurt you. So don't hurt us!”

“I don't want to talk about it!” I growl, burying my face in my pillow once again. “I think it's better if you all just leave me alone right now!”

“Niall,” Liam says softly. “Whatever it is, we can help you. Is it Maci? Lay it on us, we've all been through girl issues.”

I roll over to face them. “Not like this,” I cry, my voice cracking at the end.

“Try us,” the lads say in unison. I shake my head. I don't want to talk about it, though I knew I would end up telling them anyway. They beg me, saying that seeing me hurt is hurting them. They have absolutely no idea how badly I hurt. When I finally have enough of their 'we get it' speech, I sit up.

“Look,” I say harshly. “I can almost guarantee that none of you have been through what I'm going through now-”

“Rejected 22 times!” Liam said nonchalantly, raising his hand. I grit my teeth to keep from yelling at him.

“It's not about being rejected, Liam,” I say as calmly as I can manage right now.

But as soon as Liam's theory is out, there's no stopping the others. I'm bombarded with all types of scenarios, all of them wrong. It nears twenty seconds of their constant suggestions and I finally lose my cool.

“CAN WE ALL JUST ASSUME THAT NONE OF THE ONE DIRECTION BOYS HAVE EVER BEEN THROUGH ANYTHING LIKE THIS WITH A GIRL AND SHUT YOUR MOUTHS FOR FIVE MINUTES SO I CAN EXPLAIN!?!?”

All of the lads freeze and stare at me with open mouths. What can I say, I have a pair of lungs. They do shut up though, allowing me a few seconds to pull myself together. I'm not going to go through every detail of the night, just the important bits. I take a deep breath and swallow down the growing sadness that rests inside my chest. I start off like this:

“Maci is getting abused by her father.”


	7. Chapter 7

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

“You’ve never been late before, Maci,” my father growls, tapping the open beer bottle on the side of his thigh.

“I’m sorry,” I say, looking down.  “It won’t happen again.”

“I set simple rules, Maci!” he shouts, making me wince.  His shouts always lead to...   _Punishment_.  “Rules that aren’t hard to follow!  So how the hell do you always end up breaking them?  That’s right, because you’re _useless_.”

Usually, this would put me down enough that I’d be forced to listen to his other insults.  But this time, it’s different.  I get angry.  Being with Niall has done something to me - I’m different.  Whether it’s something he did or something he said, I just feel different.  I have the courage to ignore my father.

To keep my mind off of my father’s words, I focus on Niall’s face.  I focus on his brilliant blue eyes, blonde hair.  His mouth that speaks comforting words to me.  I go back to when he was humming the songs to me, how I let my emotions pour out of me then.  Then I think of him dragging me into the pool, and our heart-warming hug.  I like Niall.  A lot.

No matter what my father has ever and will ever say to me, I’m at least worth something.  Even though I’ve only known him two days, Niall has changed me - made me believe that.   _Niall..._  He’s just so...  Wonderful!  And then I make a mistake.  I smile.

“ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!?” he bellows, and I’m jolted out of my thoughts.

“Y-yes!” I say hurriedly

“You lying bitch!” he shouts, striding over to me.  He grips my damp scarf, pulling on it so that it tightens painfully around my throat and it becomes hard to breath.  “When I talk to you,” he hisses.  He yanks on the scarf, closing it completely around my throat, and all air is closed off from my lungs.  I start to reach for it, to make room for me to breath, but he only smacks my hands away.  I start to see black spots and he brings his face close to mine, and the alcohol smell overwhelms me.  “You listen.”

He releases me and I automatically scramble to pull off my scarf, gasping for air.  I close my eyes, breathing in the sweet, _sweet_ air.  I’ve just barely gathered myself when my father’s fist buries itself in my stomach.  Pain bursts through me and I groan and fall to the ground, but I don’t do anything more.  I’m then hoisted to my feet by my shirt - still clinging to me from being damp - and put face to face with my father.

“ _Weak,_ ” he hisses, throwing me back against the door.  I let out an _oof!_ and grip the door handle for support.  

I don’t react fast enough to get out of the way of a blow to the face, in the same spot I am bruised.  This time I let out a whimper and my father scoffs.  He takes my shirt in his hand and starts dragging me up the stairs, making me stumble several times and hit my shins repeatedly.

“Don’t come out for the rest of the night,” my father growls, tossing me onto the floor in my room.

I crumple in a heap on the floor as my father slams the door, leaving me in the pitch black.  My left arm has landed behind my back, but its doesn’t hurt.  My right has landed extended from my body and I play with loose strands of carpet.  My legs are just sprawled out in different directions and my head bobs to the side.  I sit there - I don’t know how long for - staring at the ceiling, my mind numb.  If only the rest of me were.

My stomach pounds, sending repeating pangs of pain throughout my whole body.  My neck is raw from being squeezed by my damp scarf.  My shins throb, the whole left side of my face is tingling.  God, I’m a mess.  I can only imagine my expression - lost, helpless, defeated.  Sure, my mind can tough through it - but I don’t know how much longer my body can.  Years of being both put and beaten down with words and fists.  It’s tough on a girl, you know?

But this time, I don’t cry.  I’ve cried long enough.  I need to talk it out with another human being.  I told Niall that I need him to support me after things like this, and I sure hope that he still will after what I did.

I manage to collect myself and hoist my body onto my bed.  I change as fast as my body will allow into some pajamas [<http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=66851083>] and set myself down on the bed lightly.  I sigh, leaning back against the pillows.

I pull out my phone and dial Niall’s number.

 

 

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

It takes me an hour to tell the lads about Maci and I - even with leaving out details.  By the end I’m on the verge of tears that I don’t have.  The whole time I told the story, Liam’s jaw was set into a look of anger, Harry was running his hands through his hair, Zayn was staring blankly at the wall, and Louis was gaping.  Now they’ve crowded around me and we’re in a group hug.

I’m not the one who needs a hug, though.  My mind is stuck on Maci.  What kind of state is she in right now?  Is she alright?  Ohh, I never should have left her.  Stupid, stupid Niall!  You shouldn’t have listened to her - you should be there right now, saving her.

I hope that she’ll still talk to me.  I know that she was mad when she told me to leave, but I hope that she won’t stay angry forever.  She needs me.

_No, Niall, you need her._

Well, that too, I guess....

I nearly jump out of my skin when my ringtone starts playing.

[<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sO2c7ygb5P4>]

The lads chuckle at my ringtone and I roll my eyes, pushing them away.  Louis sits patiently beside me on my bed, Harry and Liam on the other, and Zayn on the floor.  I pull my phone out of my pocket and flinch, my chest heaving.  It’s Maci.

 

“Maci!” I yell as I answer the phone and I see the lads’ eyes go wide.  “Are you alright?  What happened?  Do you need me to come get you?”

“Niall,” she says quietly and my heart hurts for her.  She sounds bad.  It sounds like she is struggling to get the words out.  “Calm down, I’m...  Fine.”

“It doesn’t sound like it!” I shout, standing.  Louis puts a hand on my arm, trying to calm me.  The hand that isn’t holding my phone forms a fist down at my side.  “I’ll come get you if-”

“No, Niall,” Maci says roughly.  “Please don’t.  Really, I’m okay right now.  I just need to talk about something to get my mind off of it.”

I nod, then realize that she can’t see me.  “Alright,” I say.  “I’m with the lads now.  Do you mind me putting you on speaker?  It’ll be a group effort!”  Their faces brighten.

“Well...” she says hesitantly.  “I don’t really know them.  I only know their voices from the interview this morning.”

That’s right... the interview had only been this morning.  It feels like it’s been days!  I guess that’s how well Maci and I have bonded in these two days.  “Well,” I reply.  “Then this is a prime opportunity to get to know them!”

“Well...  You know I’m shy... But alright.”  I smile and put the phone on speaker.

“Okay, lads, say hi to Maci.”

The boys chorus a greeting.  When I’m about to speak, Louis shouts out, “Louis the Tommo Tomlinson at your service, how may we go about cheering you up!?”

I hear Maci giggle and feel myself smile.  “Hi Louis,” she says, and I can tell that she is smiling.

“I’m Liam,” Liam says in a cheerful voice.

“Hi Liam.”

“I’m Zayn,” Zayn announces.

“Hi Zayn.”

“Harry!” Harry shouts like a two-year-old.

“Hi Harry!” Maci says with the same enthusiasm, giggling.

“These are my band mates,” I say.  “The four best friends that I ever could have asked for.”  There are several playful _awwwhs_ , including one from Maci.  “We get on really well, and if you ever meet them, I’m sure that you’d like them.”

“Looking forward to it,” she says, and the boys make several sounds of agreement.  “So what are you boys up to?”

“Currently, we are sitting in Zayn and Niall’s hotel room,” Liam says.  “It’s quite messy in here.”

“Oh, that’s not good,” Maci says, sounding disgusted.  I laugh.  “I don’t like messy spaces.  My room is spotless.”

“You’ll have to come organize it for us, then,” Zayn pipes up.  “It’s pretty bad.”

“Louis, Liam, and Harry’s room is worse, though,” I point out.  “And we haven’t even been here a week!”  Maci laughs, but then makes an odd noise through the phone.  “Are you alright?” I ask, a little worried.

“Fine,” I hear her whisper.  “Just a little...  You know what, never mind.  I’ll just have to stop by sometime and clean your boys’ rooms.  It won’t take long.”  The lads and I all let out a loud laugh.  “What?” she asks.

“Oh, it’ll take long,” Harry says, still laughing.  “There’s a lot of stuff in there.”

“Harry,” Louis stage whispers.  “We’ll have to get rid of the mankinis.  Wouldn’t want to... freak her out.”

We all burst out laughing, including Maci.  When we all calm down, Harry turns serious.  “He’s not kidding, you know,” he says.  His straight face lasts for about five seconds before he can’t contain his grin any longer.

Louis tackles Harry, Zayn just barely diving away in time, and they wrestle for a bit on the floor.  Louis ends up sitting on Harry’s back, pinning him down.  We laugh as Louis does his little ‘love bite’ thing, where he makes a loud kissing noise against your neck.

“Remember, babe,” he says seductively to Harry.  “I will always wear the pants in this relationship.”  Harry makes a bummed out noise and rolls over as Louis gets off, Louis taking up his previous spot next to me.

“What’s going on over there?” Maci questions, making me laugh harder.

“Larry Stylinson just had a moment,” I joke, still laughing uncontrollably.

“Larry Stylinson...?” she questions.

“Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson’s bromance,” I explain after I calm down.

“Oh,” Maci laughs, finally in on the joke.  “And what’s-”

She’s interrupted by a loud slamming noise in the background of her phone.  I hear her do a sharp intake of breath and shift.

“Listen,” she whispers into the phone.  The lads and I lean in, trying to hear what she says.  “You’ll have to pick me up when my shift ends at 3 tomorrow.  I’ll clean your rooms then.”  She sounds like a mother!  “I’ve got to go now, but I’ll talk to you tomorrow.  Deal?”

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” I ask in a hurry, starting to get anxious.  “I mean, really - if you want me to pick you up its no trouble-”

“No, really, I’m fine,” she interrupts me.  “Don’t worry, it’ll be alright, I can handle myself.  Please try to get some sleep tonight, I know you’re worried.”

I sigh, ignoring the goofy smiles on the others’ faces.  “Alright.”

“And Niall?” she asks expectantly.

“Yes, Love?”

I hear her giggle.  “I love that nickname.  It’s so British!”  The lads and I laugh.  

“But I’m Irish!”

“Oh well, but anyway,” she continues.  “Niall, it’s true for me, too.”  There’s a long pause, and I don’t know what she means at first.  As soon as I do realize, though, she says, “Well, good night, boys!” and hangs up.

“What was she talking about?” Liam asks, and the rest of the boys nod their heads.

“Ohh, nothing,” I say, though my smile gives it away completely.

“She likes him,” Zayn states simply and my face gets hot as the boys laugh and tease me.

“I told her I like her today,” I say, agreeing with him and getting teased more.

Just then, Harry gives us a really big yawn.  “I’m tired,” he says sluggishly, as if the yawn didn’t give him away.  “I’m going to bed.”  He gets up and walks for the door.

“Good luck sleeping, Harry!” Louis yells.  “Since we’re having our room cleaned tomorrow, we’re trashing the room with a party tonight!” he says with a mischievous grin.  “Aren’t we, Liam?”

Liam gives him an ‘Oh no you don’t’ look and Louis’ face droops as he looks down at the floor.  “Yes, mother,” Louis mutters as he runs out of the room, pouting.

“Hey, that’s _father_ to you!” Liam calls, dashing out the door after Louis.

Zayn and I are left in a sort of silence for a minute.  I lay back against the pillows, throwing the covers of my bed over me.  Zayn climbs into his bed and leans against the headboard.  He pulls out his phone and types for a while, then puts it away and turn to me.

“So,” he says nonchalantly.  “Maci, huh?  You like her, she likes you.  Anything happen while you were...  Out?”

I roll my eyes at his vagueness, but I know what he’s asking.  “No, we didn’t kiss.  But...  We were in each other’s arms quite a bit.”  He smirks and I roll my eyes again, rolling to face away from him.  “She’s different, Zayn,” I say, staring at the wall.  “There’s just something about her.  I just don’t like girls this way this fast.  And to know that she feels the same way...  That’s something, you know?”

“Yeah,” Zayn replies.  He pauses for a little bit and lets out a sigh.  “Just...  Be careful how close you get to her.”

I furrow my eyebrows and roll back to face him.  He wears a look of concern.  “What do you mean?”

“Well,” Zayn says, staring at his hands.  “I don’t really know how to sugar-coat this, so I won’t.  Niall,” he says, looking back up at me.  “I hate to be a pessimist, but...  If it’s as bad as you say it is with her father, well...  She seems strong mentally, but physically, she’s got to be suffering.  When she laughed the first time, she was in horrible pain.  You and I both know that’s what that was.  She was covering it up the rest of the phone call.”

“What are you trying to say?” I ask, sitting up.

“I’m trying to say,” Zayn says with a sigh.  “That there’s no way to know how much longer she’s going to last.  One of these times, I guarantee that she’s going to need serious medical care.  And hearing what you said about her father - he’s not going to be the one to take her.  And what if you’re not there either?”

What he says starts to make sense.  With all of the stuff that my work entails, there’s going to be a lot of time away from Maci.  And what if...  I can’t even think about it.

“No!” I yell, surprising both of us.  I take a deep breath.  “I can’t afford to think like that.  Maci is different, Zayn, and I’m not going to lose her.”

“It’s not as easy as you think, mate,” he says, pity in his voice.  “What are you going to do when we leave and she stays here?  Take her with you?  There’s no way she’ll just uproot like that.  I’ve heard of abusive relationships before.  The person being abused loves the person abusing them - that’s why they stay.  And when they finally do decide to leave, the other person makes up excuses, and they’re drawn back in again.  She won’t want to leave.”

I throw my head in a pillow, shouting into it until my throat is sore.  I don’t know what I’m going to do.  I want more than anything in the world for Maci to be both safe and content.  But every way I try it, she can’t have both.  If she came along with me, she would be safe, though she wouldn’t be happy.  If I left without her, she would be content, but no where near safe.  There’s got to be some way to convince her, to get her to leave her unsafe home.

I roll back over, staring at the ceiling.  “Zayn?” I ask, but don’t wait for a reply.  “I think I’m going to convince her to come with me.  It’s going to be hard, but I’m going to do it.  She’s got to listen to me.”

“Nialler,” Zayn says, reason in his voice.  “You can’t take her away from her own home, even if it’s bad.  What if you two end up breaking up?  Then what?  You two will be stuck with each other, she won’t be able to go home.  There’s no way her father would let her back in.”

“First of all,” I say, shooting up to face him.  “We are not dating.  Second of all - like I said - Maci.  Is.  Different.  If we ever do start dating - and I’m going to ask her - we’ll be together for a long, _long_ time.”

“Yeah,” Zayn says with a shrug.  “But that’s still no reason to get her to leave her home.  What if she gets homesick?  What if her father starts stalking her?  Or worse, trying to hurt her?”

By now I’m so angry with him, I almost forget that I’m talking to one of my best friends.  “Well what the hell you do?” I growl.

Zayn holds up his hands.  He raises his eyebrows and says, “I would do the exact same thing that your planning to do.”

I slam my palm onto my forehead.  I put my head in in my hands, between my knees.  “Of course you would, Zayn.”


	8. Chapter 8

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

“And Niall?” I ask, about to end the call.

“Yes, Love?”

I giggle.  “I love that nickname.  It’s so British!”  I hear all the boys laugh.  

“But I’m Irish!” Niall laughs

“Oh well, but anyway,” I continue.  “Niall, it’s true for me, too.”  There’s a long pause, and I let my words sink in a bit, hoping that Niall understands.  “Well, good night, boys!” I say, hanging up.

I soon as I’m off the line I let out a groan that I had been holding in.  _Pretending to be okay is so hard._ At least I get to see Niall tomorrow.  Luckily, the only bruise I’ll be needing to cover up is the one on my face that’s been renewed to purple.  I pick out an outfit for tomorrow that will cover the ones on my shins, and the one on my stomach will be covered by my shirt.

I unzip my sweatshirt to look at the bruise starting to form on my stomach.  It was a hard blow, harder than he’d ever hit me before.  He must have been pretty angry.  The middle of my midsection is a dull purple already, and fanning out from there are alternating colors of green, blue, and yellow.  I quickly zip my sweatshirt back up, not wanting to think about it anymore.

Sometimes I wish that I could just leave my home.  I hate being here anyway.  But then I think of my father...  He doesn’t have a job, can’t stay sober for ten minutes, doesn’t know how to cook much anymore.  He’s helpless without me.  And he says that I’m weak...  I would like to see him go two weeks in this house without me.

Wait, what am I doing?  I’m disrespecting him...  I’ve never done that before.  Not until I met Niall...  I don’t know if I’m changing for the better or for the worse.  Yes, my father does deserve a taste of his own medicine, but I can’t do that to him - he’s my father!

Oh well.  I won’t think about that right now.  It’s not like I’m leaving any time soon - or ever.  Right now, I’m just going to sleep away the pain I’m going through.

 

\---

 

Waking up in the morning is easy.  All I have to do is listen to the screaming pain in my stomach, and I’m wide awake.  I’ve only woken up about five minutes ahead of schedule, so I attempt to get out of bed.  Thank God I have the extra five minutes.

I prop myself up on my elbows, groaning even at this small movement.  I try moving my legs, my stomach muscles tensing, and I just end up falling onto the floor, whimpering as I land on my stomach.  I roll over to my back and use all of my tolerance for pain to just stand up.  Once I’m standing it’s a little better, but not by much.  

I grip my dresser for support, using one hand to unzip and slip off my sweatshirt.  As it drops to the floor I stare at my reflection in the mirror.  The middle of the bruise has gone a mix of purple and red in the middle, panning out to ugly mixes of red and blue, red and green, red and yellow.

I’ll have an easy time covering it, but a hard time playing the part.  Hopefully as the day goes on my muscles won’t be so stiff, and I’ll be able to clean the guys’ rooms like I promised.  I don’t want them to think that I can’t do anything.

I change as fast as the pain will allow [http://www.polyvore.com/untitled/set?id=66810248#stream_box] and head to the bathroom.  I have to go slow when I brush my teeth because the shaking is jarring around my stomach.  I put the foundation on my face but it doesn’t cover up the bruise completely.  There’s still a little bit of darkness showing, but oh well.  Niall’s already seen it, and the boys probably already know from what Niall has surely said about me.  I don’t mind, they’re his best friends, and anyone that Niall trusts, I will too.

I come out of the bathroom and turn down the hallway, coming to my worst enemy.  Stairs.  I end up having to go down sideways because forward put to much strain on my stomach muscles.  My father has once again fallen asleep in his chair.  I quickly whip up some toast and eggs, reluctantly leaving some for him.  I see some Advil in the cabinet and put some in my pocket in case I need any.  I’m out the door by 7:05, walking as fast as I can’t without it hurting to badly.

I get to work a little slower than I had anticipated, but I’m still on time.  I go through the regular routine, feeding all the animals and putting up the gate for the pups.  It’s about 8:00 when I turn on the radio.  No One Direction songs are on, so I lose interest quickly.  I lean on the counter, watching the dogs play, and after a while my phone buzzes.

 

_To Maci W.:  Good morning, Love :)_

 

I smile uncontrollably, ignoring the pain in the left side of my face.

 

_To Nialler ;) :  I feel bad that I don’t have a nickname for you!_

_To Maci W.:  Nialler works :)_

_To Nialler ;) :  Nialler it is, then! :)_

_To Maci W.:  Am I still picking you up after work?_

_To Nialler ;) :  I wasn’t informed of any change._

_To Maci W.:  Great!  When do you get off? :)_

_To Nialler ;) :  3:00.  Home by 10 tonight, though._

_To Maci W.:  Don’t worry, Love, I’ll have you home safely and in plenty of time._

_To Nialler ;) :  Thank you so much.  For everything :)_

_To Maci W.:  Anything for you! :)  I’ll drop by a bit early so we have time for a chat before we head back to the hotel._

_To Nialler ;) :  Sounds good!  And please tell me that you boys didn’t trash your rooms more just because I’m cleaning them?_

_To Maci W.:  Mine and Zayn’s?  No, we kept it the same.  I’m not positive on Daddy Direction’s room just yet._

_To Nialler ;) :  Daddy Direction?_

_To Maci W.:  Liam.  He keeps us in line, so we call him Daddy Direction._

_To Nialler ;) :  Can’t wait to meet them all!_

_To Maci W.:  They say the same for you!_

_To Nialler ;) : See you in a bit, Nialler :)_

_To Maci W.:  Bye, Love :)_

 

Is it safe to say I have it bad?  Niall really is something, you know?  I haven’t dated anyone before, but I’ve seen couples in the hallways at school, smiling at each other non-stop, that look in their eyes.  I have always wanted something like that, just never had the courage or care to push my way into the social world.  And now that Niall is here...  Is this what those other people have?

I herd the pups into their smaller kennel as I see people starting to walk up and down the streets.  I have a little trouble pushing the gate back into its compartment in the wall, so I leave it slightly hanging out to deal with later.  I go through the rest of the day, tending to the needs of the pups and other animals.  It’s nearing 1:30 when I decide to deal with the gate again.

It’s still stuck tight, and I have to get behind it to push.  I use my leg for most of the middle part of the gate, my feet pushing steadily behind me.  I can feel the gate is almost in when my foot slips, send me falling forward, the corner of the gate digging into my stomach.

“Gahh!” I scream, clutching my stomach and falling to the ground.  I groan, feeling the pain rocket through me.  _Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God._

“ _Maci!_ ” I hear someone shout in fear, and my eyes fly open to see Niall rushing through the door and over to me.  I quickly squelch most of the pain, my groans pushed back down into my throat.  “Maci, are you alright?”

He wraps one arm around my waist and holds my arm with the other, helping me to my feet.  I nod, trying to smile, but he sees right through it.  “You cannot tell me that right now you are not hurting.”

I take a deep breath and look him in the eye.  “I am not hurting,” I attempt to say, but it only comes out a whisper.  Niall shakes his head.

“How bad is it?  Where are you hurt?” he asks, scanning my arms and face.  I shake my head but he ignores it.  His blue eyes search mine for any kind of falter, and I stop him before he finds one.

“Would it kill you to give me a hug?” I manage to say sarcastically.  He laughs and pulls me into a tight hug.  A little too tight for me to handle.  “Uhnn,” I groan, making him jump back.

“Oh my God!” he says frantically.  “I’m so sorry, Maci, I didn’t mean to hurt you!  That’s it, you’ve got to tell me where you’re hurt, or else I’ll just end up doing that over and over!”  I sigh because he has a point.

I grab his hand and lead him to the back.  He laces his fingers through mine, and luckily I’m in front of him so he can’t see me blush.  When we get to the back, I face him.

“It’s going to look really bad,” I say, “and I’m going to be honest, it hurts a hell of a lot worse.  Just promise me you’ll stay right here, but don’t say anything about it.”  Niall hesitates for a moment, but nods his head.  “Okay,” I breath, closing my eyes.

He lets my hand drop and I take the bottom of my shirt, lifting it up slowly, letting him see the whole bruise.  He does a sharp intake of breath and I wince, waiting for him to yell or do something, but he doesn’t.  I just feel Niall drop my hands down to my sides for me and pull me into a gentle hug.  He buries his face in my hair and I take in his smell from his comforting body.

I reluctantly pull away, telling him that I still have to watch to shop.  We come back and I step behind the counter while he leans on it in front of me.  We talk about little things, just random topics that happen to pop up.  Before we know it, it’s time for my shift to end.  Today there’s a guy who’s shift is after mine, and he strolls in to clock in.  Niall goes to clock out with me, and then we’re on our way.

“So,” he says as we approach the hotel.  “Are you going to clean the rooms first, or right before you leave?  Or not at all?”

“Oh,” I say, “I’m cleaning them.  Before I even sit down to talk to anyone, I’m cleaning those rooms.”  Niall laughs.

“We’ll help you,” he says, but I stop him there.

“One thing about me,” I say matter-of-factly, “is that when I’m cleaning, I’m to be left alone.  I need to concentrate on organizing, or it either doesn’t get done, or doesn’t get done right.  So just stay in the lobby or something while I clean the rooms.”  Niall chuckles and we enter the hotel.

When we get up to their rooms, Niall knocks on his and Zayn’s door - he claims that it’s the cleanest and the other boys don’t even go in their room until they have to sleep.  At first there’s no answer, and Niall begins to knock repeatedly until someone answers the door.

“What do you want-  Why, hello there,” a boy with curls says, seeing me.  “And what might your name be?”  I feel Niall’s arm snake around my waist and I can’t help but smile.

I roll my eyes at the boy.  “I’m Maci.”

“Harry!” the boys says in the same voice he did last night.  I giggle and look around his should for the rest of the boys.

Niall leads me into the room.  I don’t even notice the boys sitting on the beds, though.  I’m more focused on the piles of debris scattered around the room.  It’s _disgusting_.  I wrinkle my nose and the boys laugh.

“I’m Zayn,” one of the boys approaches me.

“Out,” I say flatly, pointing toward the door.  He gives me a confused look.

“She’s going to clean,” Niall explains, “and she wants to be alone.”

“But we haven’t even met her yet,” a brown haired boy says.

“Oh well,” I say, shrugging.

“Just really quickly,” Niall says, pointing to each of the boys.  “Harry, Zayn, Liam, Louis.  Satisfied, Liam?”

“I’m Maci,” I say politely, elbowing Niall lightly.  “And I am actually very polite, and usually very shy.  Obviously being shy doesn’t apply to you five for God-knows-why.  Since this is the case,” I say, pointing toward the door of the room, “I am asking you all politely to leave.”

“Ooh, I like her!” the boy that Niall said is Louis pipes up.  “She’s got some of my sass!”  I smile, and again point to the door.

They put their heads down and walk toward the door.  I stop Liam as he walks by.  “I’m assuming since you’re the responsible one, you have the room key to yours, Harry’s, and Louis’ room?”  Liam grumbles and pulls the key out of his pocket.

“635,” he says, walking out the door.  As soon as the door closes I run over and lock it, ignoring the pain in my stomach.  I quickly take an Advil and get to work.

I’m not sure whose stuff is whose, so I just put all collectively clean clothes folded neatly into one pile on the table.  I fold the dirty laundry too, setting it on the floor next to the table.  I head back out into the room, putting my hands on my hips to see what’s left.  Food.  _Everywhere_.

There are chip bags all of the floor, Twinkie wrappers strewn about, pop bottles all around the room.  I pull two trash bags from the bathroom, putting recyclables in one and trash in the other.  I have two fairly good sized bags by the end, and I’ve still got a bit left with the room.  I organize the bathroom, throwing drying towels over the shower curtain rod and drying extra water on the sink.  I organize the products on the counter - shoving all of the hair-care stuff to Zayn’s side because I know that Niall doesn’t groom his hair much.

Before I know it, I’m taking the trash and recyclable stuff to the drop-off bins down the hall.  I’m finished with Zayn and Niall’s room.  That took me, what, all of five minutes?  And they said it was bad.  The other room is probably not bad at all.  I slide the key in the door and open it, knowing as soon as I see the room that I’m dead wrong.  I nearly faint.

Piled up as high as my waist were heaps of dirty clothing.  Food wrappers are stuffed into pockets of dirty clothes, clean clothes are strewn all over, leftover _everything_ on the floor.  This is going to take some work.  I get straight into it, following the same procedures as I did for Niall’s room.  It takes me long enough but I finally finish.  I drag the recyclables and trash down the hall and let out a deep breath.

“That was easy enough,” I say aloud, joking to myself.  I head down to the lobby to fetch the boys.

To my surprise, Louis, Harry, Zayn, and Niall are talking to the hotel manager - Liam is no where in sight.  The manager looks angry and the boys look guilty, but all of them still share silents jokes with each other.  I walk over to them and stand next to Niall.

“What’s going on here?” I ask the manager kindly as Niall puts his arm around me.  He doesn’t have time to answer before Louis pipes up.

“I’m sorry,” he says, “we will _never_ have chicken fights in the hotel lobby again.”  My eyes widen.

“You did _what?_ ” Liam asks and we turn around to find him jogging up.  “I was in the bathroom for _three minutes_ and you lot are _already_ in trouble?”

“Lord almighty,” he manager breaths.  “Not _another_ one!”  The boys and I all laugh, but the manager stays serious.  “How about you all just go back to your rooms and _try_ not to be too disruptive.”

“That’s a good idea,” I pipe up.  “I’m done with you’re rooms.”

I get five wide-eyed stares and I look down.  “You’re _done?_ ” Liam asks.  I nod and look up at him.  “How in the world...  You were only up there for twenty minutes!”

“What can I say?” I ask, shrugging.  “I work quickly.”  The boys laugh at that while we pile into the elevator, Niall’s arm still around me.  “I want you guys to see Niall and Zayn’s room first, because it wasn’t that bad,” I say with a smirk as we hop out of the elevator.

They all nod and Zayn pulls out his room key and hands it to me.  I slide it in the reader and the door unlatches.  I grab the handle, turning it, and open the door slowly to build suspense.  I lose patience half way through and just throw the door open.  There are several gasps behind me and Zayn charges past, doing ballerina moves in the middle of the room.

“So much _space!”_ he shouts.  

Louis sprints past me to join Zayn, and they proceed to do the tango, Harry, Niall, and I laughing the whole time.  When they get to the dip part, Louis puts his left leg behind Zayn, so when Zayn leans back, Louis flips him completely and tosses him onto the bed.

“Well, then!” Zayn jokes.

“Harry, darling, come dance with me!” Louis exclaims.

“You have to see the other room!” I say, stepping in front of Louis before he can reach Harry.  

Louis gives me a pouty face, but nods his head.  The boys follow me out into the hall and I pull out the room card that Liam had given me.  I slide the key and and open the door a crack so that they can’t see anything just yet.  I hand the card back to Liam and turn to the boys still holding the door slightly open.

“This one was a little harder to crack,” I admit.  “This one was not only bad, it was _disgusting._   I can not believe people can eat and go through so many items of clothing.  So, I think you boys owe me one.  Without further ado, I give you, a cleaned room!”

The door swings open and I step inside, taking in the now spotless room.  This time I don’t hear anything from the boys.  I turn around to find them all open mouthed.  They slowly file in, and I step a little in front of them.  I smile uncontrollably.

“What do you think?” I ask.

“Bloody Hell,” Louis breathes.

“I can see the floor!” Harry shouts.

“What are you?” Liam sighs jokingly.

“I’m a female,” I reply simply.  They all laugh and walk further into the room, each of them kissing my cheek as they walk by.

By the end I know that my face is bright red.  Niall brings me into a tight hug.  I hug him back, but stop when a burst of pain shoots through me.  I make a strangled type noise and flinch away from his grasp.

“Are you alright?  I’m sorry, I totally forgot!” Niall says apologetically.

“It’s aright, I did too,” I laugh a little, putting a hand on my stomach lightly.

“Forgot about what?” Harry asks, pausing his happy dance with Louis.

I look at Niall.  “They already know, right?  I assume you told them.”  Niall nods but looks guilty.  I put a hand on his arm.  “It’s alright, I’d rather have had you tell them before I got here than for me to explain it.”  He nods and I turn to the boys.

“Well,” I say.  “I have a really bad bruise.  And it doesn’t sound bad, but it is.”  I pause, slowly going over my stomach with my hand.  “I’ll show it to you, but you all have to promise not to say anything about it while I show you.  And don’t say anything about my father either, please.”

I get a unanimous ‘okay’.  Taking a deep breath, I take the edge of my shirt and slowly pull it up.  I close my eyes, not wanting to look at the state it’s in.  I hear 5 collective gasps, including from Niall, so it must have gotten worse.  I drop my shirt and smooth it out.

“So there it is,” I say quietly, looking at the ground.  I don’t hear anything for a while, and I can feel the atmosphere start to get uncomfortable.  Thankfully, Niall speaks up.

“So where did you put the food?”


	9. Chapter 9

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

We get something to eat from the boys’ fridge and sit in Daddy Direction’s room for the rest of the night.  I’m getting to know them a lot better, and soon I feel as if I’m part of the friendship circle.  The boys are all super welcoming to me.  They all feel like the brothers I never had, and I actually enjoy being in a crowd.  They are some of the goofiest boys that I’ve ever met - not that I’ve met many - but spending time with them is so much fun.  I don’t think that there is a single cell of seriousness in any of their bodies.

Niall stays by my side most of the night, only leaving briefly when Louis pulled him onto the floor to wrestle.  The rest of the time his arm is either around my waist or sitting next to me, though he still talks to the boys.

I don’t know why, but around 7 my eyelids begin to droop.  “Wow,” I yawn, stretching my arms out and struggling to ignore the soreness in my stomach.  “Cleaning your rooms must have worn me out more than I thought!”

“Well you did it in record time!” Liam says jokingly.

“Do you want me to take you home?” Niall asks slowly, and I can tell that he doesn’t like the idea.

“I think you know the answer to that,” I say, smiling, but I subconsciously put a hand on my stomach.

Niall grimaces, looking down at my stomach, but quickly replaces it with a smile.  “Alright then,” he says, and helps me scoot back to the headboard of the bed we’re on.  “You can nap.  I’ll wake you up with enough time to get you home.”

I smile up at him gratefully.  He puts his arm around me again, and I snuggle close, leaning my head on his shoulder.  My last thought before I drift off is _Niall has no idea what he means to me already._

 

 

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

Maci snuggles into me as I wrap my arm around her.  She closes her eyes and soon she’s snoring softly.

“If you don’t ask her, I will,” Harry jokes.  “She can clean, and she can take a joke!”  
“Hands off, Harry,” I hiss softly, not wanting to wake her.  “I’m asking her to be my girlfriend later tonight.  I get several _awwwhs_ and my face goes red.

“But what are you going to do when we leave for the rest of the tour?” Liam asks curiously.  I glance worriedly in Zayn’s direction, and see he’s doing the same - we had just talked about this last night but I hadn’t told the lads.  Liam catches our looks and puts on his _you’re toast_ look.  “What are you not telling us, Niall?”

“Well,” I say, avoiding eye contact.  “Things are obviously bad at her home.  That’s made clear by the bruise.  And I’m not sure how much worse it’s going to get, or how much more Maci can handle.”  I look down at her sleeping figure.  She looks so peaceful, so beautiful.  “And I want her to be safe more than anything.  So I’m going to ask her to come with us.”

I’m met by several confused looks.  “Why?” Louis asks.

“Louis, I just told you!” I say, exasperated.  “I don’t want her getting hurt anymore, and this is the only way I can assure she doesn’t.  There’s room on the bus, and only a couple weeks left in the tour.  I’m sure Simon will be okay with it,  I’ll check with him after I’m done checking with you.  Seeing Maci hurt makes me hurt.  This could possibly be save her life, lads.  I need you to understand this.  Please, for me.”  There’s a long pause.

Finally, Liam nods his head.  “I’ll go for it.  That bruise is enough to tell me that things are bad.  If you really believe this is a good idea, Niall, I’ll support you.  Plus, I know what it feels like being away from the person you love - it’s pretty bad.”

“I’m good with it too,” Harry and Zayn both say.  We all look at Louis then, to hear what he says.

Louis shrugs.  “It’s going to be nice having someone on the bus who can clean.”

I let out a sigh of relief and all of us laugh.  “Thank you,” I say, meaning every bit of it.  “So much.”

“You better go check with Simon,” Liam instructs, and I nod.

I slowly unhook my arm from around her.  I try to move out of the way, but Maci only end up nearly falling over.  I try to sit her up, but she keeps shifting to the side.  “Liam,” I plead.  “Would you mind?”

“I got it,” he says, standing up and sitting next to Maci so she doesn’t fall over.  When Maci leans on him, her face twists into a grimace and the lads and I laugh.

“Looks like you have nothing to worry about, Nialler,” Zayn jokes as I leave the room.

They have no idea how much that means to me.  _God, I’m falling hard._   I close the door of the room, but not all the way so I can get back in when I’m done.  I pull out my phone and scroll down to Simon’s number.  I tap the dial button and hold the phone to my ear.  He answers on the third ring.

“This better be good,” Simon grumbles groggily on the other end of the line.  I laugh to myself - I’ve forgotten that it’s six hours later there, making it about one in the morning.

“Simon, I need to talk to you about something,” I start.  “And before you stop me, give me time to explain.”

“Okay, shoot.”

“I want to bring a girl named Maci Watson with us on the rest of the tour.”

“No,” he says without hesitation.  “No distractions.”

“You haven’t given me time to explain, and this needs an explanation,” I say quickly.

“Fine, you have five minutes.”

I do the best I can to explain the situation I have.  I tell him about how we met, her abusive father, how well we’ve bonded, and the bruises.  “And I’ve checked with the lads, their in support of the idea,” I finally finish.

There’s a long pause, and I get anxious.  Simon can do that - kill you with suspense without even knowing it.  Even though I can’t see his face, I know he’s doing that look that he does when he thinks.  It really is intimidating.  Finally, he answers.

“Fine,” he says.

“Thank you so much!” I shout, so excited that I jump in the air like a little boy.

“But,” Simon says.  “Only if she isn’t a distraction.  You like her, I can tell by the way you talk about her.  She sounds lovely, but I can’t have you off on Cloud 9 all the time and forget about work.  Plus, if you two don’t work out, then we’re going to have problems.  But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

“Trust me,” I say, not able to control my happiness.  “Nothing bad is going to happen between us.  You have no idea how much this means to me.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Your welcome.  Now leave me alone, I’m supposed to be asleep.”  

I chuckle.  “Good night, Simon,” I say, but he’s already hung up.

I lock my phone and walk back into the room.  The lads are talking quietly and their heads turn to me expectantly when they see me.  I quickly trade places with Liam, putting my arm around Maci as she smiles and snuggles into my side, making me smile.  _I love being able to do this_.

“Well?” they all say.

“Simon says it’s fine,” I state, trying to talk through the biggest smile I’ve ever had.

There are cheers and Maci stirs.  I glare at them and the instantly quiet down.  Not for long though, because I start laughing and they join me.  

I look down at Maci, checking if she’s still asleep, and she is.  Her eyelids flutter slightly, telling me that she’s dreaming.  I wonder what about?  He mouth moves slightly, making her seem like she’s having a quiet conversation.  I smile, thinking about how lucky I am to have found her.  I don’t think I deserve her.  She’s a wonderful girl, more than I could have ever asked for.  She’s just so...  _Perfect_.

“Hello, _Earth to Niall_ ,” I hear Louis say.  I whip my head up at him, trying to hide the smile I’m wearing.

“What?” I say.

“Man, you’ve got it _bad_ ,” Harry says, and I shrug.

“She’s beautiful.  She’s wonderful, more than I could have ever asked for,” I say, repeating my thoughts.  “It was by the grace of God that I even found her.”

“Man,” Liam breathes.  “You really do have it bad.  You’ve only known her for three days!”

“I’ve never met anyone like her,” I shrug.  “She’s different.  Plus, we’ve been through quite a lot in these past few days.”

I look down at Maci again.  She shifts slightly, her hand gripping my shirt.  She mumbles something, but I can’t make out what.  I smile though think how cute she really is.  She looks about five years younger when she’s sleeping.

“Lads,” I say, sighing.  “I think I’m falling hard for her.”

 

 

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

“Maci,” I hear someone say, a comforting voice.  “Maci, wake up, it’s time to go.”

I can’t tell who it is, but the voice is lovely.  I want them to say something more, just to let me hear them speak.

“Maci, Love, wake up.”

The voice, I can tell, belongs to Niall.  I’m not sure if it’s a dream or real, but I love hearing his voice anyway.  It’s so comforting and if anything, it lulls me farther into sleep.

“Maci,” the voice says, a little louder.  I feel myself being shifted and I frown.

I feel myself fall to the side.  I roll right onto my stomach, a stab of pain shooting through me and fully waking me up.  My eyes fly open and I gasp, rolling over and holding my midsection.

“Oh my God,” Niall says, worried and helping me sit up.  “I’m so sorry, are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” I say quietly.  “Just surprised me, that’s all.  What time is it?”

“It’s about 9:20,” Zayn says from across the room.

I smile wryly, not wanting to go home.  Even though I was asleep for a long time, I loved being with these boys.  They’re the only people that I feel welcomed by.  I reluctantly remove myself from the bed, wincing because my stomach is so sore.  I say goodbye to the boys and Niall and I are soon out the door.  We start to walk down the hall and Niall grabs my hand, lacing our fingers.

“How was tonight?” he asks me as we step into the elevator.

“It was so much more fun than I would have had at home,” I say, trying to make a joke, but Niall grimaces.  “I was only poking fun,” I explain quickly.

“Well,” he says quietly, rubbing the back of his neck.  “There’s something I want to talk to you about.”  My chest tightens.

“What’s the matter?” I ask.  “Did I do something wrong?  I’m sorry for whatever it is, tell me and I’ll fix it-”

“No!” he says, stopping me.  “It’s nothing you’ve done.  It’s nothing anyone’s done.  Well...  Except...”

“My dad?” I ask quietly, looking into his eyes.

“Yes,” Niall admits, looking away.  “But before we talk about it, I just want you to know that in no way am I calling you weak, because you are definitely _not_ weak.”

I nod.  “Thank you, that means a lot.”  The door to the elevator opens and we step out, still holding hands.  It’s quiet until we get into the car, and I start to get curious.  “So what is it that you were wanting to talk to me about?”

I can see him grip the steering wheel tighter.  He’s nervous, that much is evident.  “Maci,” he says after a little bit.  “I know we’ve only known each other for three days, but you’ve got to agree that we’ve bonded so much.  And if I interpreted what you said last night right, you said that you like me.”  He says it as if a question, and I nod, smiling.

“You did.”  I see him smile wildly.

“And you know that I like you,” he continues.  “And more and more since we’ve spent more time together, I just want you to know.”  Now it’s my turn to smile like a fool.  I let him continue.  “Anyway, back to what I want to talk to you about.  I don’t really know how to say it any other way, but...  I want you to come with us on the rest of the tour.”

 _What?_ My eyes go wide and I whip my head over to look at him.  His eyes are on the road, but his face looks concerned.  “What?”

“Just let me explain,” he pleads.  I guess I owe him that, so I nod my head.  “Well, things are rough at your house.”  I wince, knowing that he’s right.  “And that bruise...  Maci, I’m not going to lie, seeing you hurt makes me hurt.  You can’t lie to me anymore either, you know it hurts beyond what you’re showing.  I want nothing more for you than to be safe, and at your home, you’re not safe.”

He has a point.  No matter how hard it hurts, Niall’s right.  He even wants to take me with him!  He cares that much about me.  I want so badly for it to be that easy - just say yes and be off with the boy I’m falling for.  But it’s not.  There’s always something.

“Niall,” I say, struggling for words.  “I know my father treats me horribly, but I can’t... I can’t just leave him.  He’s my father!  Even though he would never admit it, he’s helpless without me.”

I can literally see Niall’s mood droop.  “I was afraid you’d say that,” he says quietly.  “Maci, I know you love your father.  But he _hurts_ you!  You’ve been through years and years of it - there’re always consequences, Maci.  They can be good and bad.  But in this case, it’s bad.  Years and years of being beaten...  Maci, I know your mind can take it...  But how much longer can your body?”

Tears start to cloud my vision, but I refuse to let them fall.  Niall is right.  He is so, _so_ right.  I had just thought about this last night - just thought about how sometimes - well, most of the time - I just wish that I could leave.  But I never thought that I’d be presented with the choice.

“You have no idea,” I say, “how much it means to me that you care this much.  I’d be lying if I said that I don’t want to leave with you.  You have no idea how much I would just like to say yes and have that be it.  But it’s so much harder than that.  I have a job,” I say, just now realizing it, “I have a father that needs to be taken care of.  There’s a lot to think about.”  My heart hurts -  I just want all of these issues to disappear.

Niall frowns, his eyes sad.  “I just want you to know that...  That whatever you do, we have two more weeks here, and then we’re leaving.  Then it will just be phone calls and messages between us, when I have time - if you choose to stay here.”  

My mouth drops.  I didn’t know they had such little time here!  There’s not a lot of time for Niall and I...  My chest heaves and my vision is nearly taken over by unshed tears.  There’s got to be more time than this!  But if I leave with him, our time would be endless.  There are just so many problems in the way.  I’ll need to think.  I’ll also have to tell my father.  I won’t do that until I’ve made up my mind, though - there’s no telling how angry he’d get if I told him about it now.

“But I will think about it,” I say to Niall, trying not to let my voice shake.  “And right now, most of the odds are in your favor.”

I see him smile, and a warmth fills my chest.  I smile back, and without meaning to I let a tear fall.  Niall’s smile falters and he uses his thumb to wipe it from my cheek.

“Don’t cry, Love,” he says, and I take his hand, interlocking our fingers.

“I’m sorry,” I say, still smiling.  “I just can’t tell you how much you mean to me already.”  My face gets hot as I confess this.  “And to know that you feel the same way - it’s just a good feeling.”

Niall smiles.  I let those be our last words on the ride back to my house.  He pulls up to my house at 9:50, thankfully enough time in advance.  We get out of the car and join hands again as he walks me up to the porch.  I turn to him to say thank you, but he interrupts me.

“Maci,” he says nervously.  “I want to ask you something.”

“What is it?” I say, confused.

He runs his free and through his hair and rubs the back of his neck.  “Will you...  Will you be my girlfriend?”

My jaw drops.  “W-what?”

“Will you be my girlfriend?” he asks again.  “I like you a lot, Maci.  And one of the reasons I want you to come with me...  I don’t want to be apart from you.  And we’ve already been on a kind of date...  Just...  Will you be my girlfriend?”

The warmth in my chest is back, and I can’t help smiling.  “Niall, no one has ever been this sweet to me, ever.  You are the nicest boy I have every met.  I would be honored - and the luckiest girl in the world - to be your girlfriend.  Yes.”  I mean every word.

Niall smiles wildly, and he does this sort of hopping thing, making me laugh.  “That means,” he says, “I can finally do this.”

He pulls me close and wraps and arm around my waist.  Niall cups my cheek gently and brings his lips to mine.  I can honestly say that I’m surprised.  I have never, _ever_ been kissed on the mouth before.  The kiss feels amazing.  He’s extremely gentle, but at the same time he’s passionate.  This is my first real kiss - and I’m glad I’m sharing it with Niall.

He pulls away slowly, smiling widely.  I’m positive that my face mirrors his.  That was amazing.  I can’t resist - I take a handful of his shirt and pull him in for another.  I can feel him smile against my lips, and I let go of his shirt.  He stays for a little bit longer, then finally pulls away.

“Thank you,” I say, wrapping my arms around his torso and pulling him into a hug.

He kisses my forehead and rests his chin on my shoulder.  We stay in each other’s arms for a little while longer, but I finally let go.

“I’ve got to go,” I whisper.  “But I’ll text you, alright?  I have the day off tomorrow, then I work all week - from the crack of dawn until six.  I have until nine, though,” I say, batting my eyelashes.

Niall smiles and chuckles a little.  “Do you have to walk to work?”  I nod and he wrinkles his nose.  “I’ll come pick you up and take you to work.  We’ll have a few extra minutes to talk, then I’ll take you home from work this week.  Sound okay?”

I poke his nose, smiling.  “You don’t have to do that for me,” I say.

“I want to,” he replies, returning the smile.  I roll my eyes.

“Sounds good.  Good night, Niall.”

“Good night, Maci.”  I watch him start down the steps and I reach for the door handle.  “Oh, one more thing,” he says jogging back up.  

He pecks me on the lips, making me smile.  I kiss him back one last time before turning the door handle.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say, opening the door.  

“Looking forward to it.”

I smile at him one last time before walking in the door.  I kick my shoes off, closing the door.  My shoe decides to be difficult with me and stay on my foot, so I bend over, trying to ignore the pain in my midsection, and take it off.  I straighten up to find my father standing in front of me with _another_ beer bottle in hand.

“Hi Dad,” I say quietly, just now realizing how much the house smells of alcohol.

“Hello Maslin,” he says, and I wince at how slurred the words are.  He’s had a lot more to drink than usual.

“I’m back on time, and I’m heading to bed,” I say, trying to slip past him, but he catches my arm.

“Notsofast,” he slurs heavily.  He pushes me out to the front of him, but doesn’t let me go.  “Ya see,” he says clumsily.  “I been thinkin’.  Thinkin’ ‘bout you.  You been home alot... alot later than... than usual,” he stumbles over the words as if they’re hard to get out of his mouth.

“I’ve been busy,” I say simply.

“Well I’m startin’ ta think... I think ya don’t like it here.”  He has no idea how true his words are.  I don’t answer, and he continues.  “I been gettin’ kinda... kinda lonely, Maslin.”

“Well I have work,” I state, and try to get out of his grasp.

“You been.. You been a bad girl, Maslin,” he says, trying to pull his face into an angry expression, but ending up looking constipated.  “And you...  You need to be... punished.”

I flinch, thinking about taking a blow to the stomach with my bruise still fresh.  I inwardly cringe, but don’t let it show.  Again, I try to pull away, but his grip is tight.  I start to worry.  I can’t get hit again, I don’t think I’ll be able to pull it together.

“Andthistime,” he slurs angrily, dropping the beer bottle in his hand.  “We’re going to have...  a little fun with it ‘coz...  ‘coz I’m lonely.”

My eyes widen and I try to get away, pulling harder on his grip.  I know where this is leading, and I don’t want it to.  _Oh God, no._   Again, his grip tightens on my arm and I can’t escape now.  He uses his other hand to tear right through my shirt.

“ _Niall!_ ” I scream at the top of my lungs.


	10. Chapter 10

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 _Wow_ , I think as she slips in the door.  _Way to go, Nialler.  Nicely done._   I had been holding it in the whole time, so I jump up now, pumping my fist in the air.

I had been waiting a long time to kiss her.  I knew I’d like it, and I’d hoped Maci would too, but I didn’t know she’d respond like that.  I’m not complaining, though!  I’m actually quite happy with myself.  I now have the best girlfriend a guy could ask for.  The only thing that would make my life any better is if she says yes to coming with us.

I dropped her off with plenty of time, so she should get... _punished_ tonight.  I linger on the door step for a couple minutes, just collecting my thoughts.  I’m absolutely sure of it now - I’m falling for Maci Watson.  I step down from the porch and head toward the car.  I’m just about to start humming to myself when I hear something that will forever haunt me.

“ _Niall!_ ”

It’s Maci.  And she’s in trouble.

I don’t even hesitate.  I take off for her front door, taking the three steps in one leap.  I throw open the door to find something that will stick in my mind for the rest of my life.

The man I assume to be Maci’s father is bare-chested and traddling Maci, pinning her to the floor.  Her shirt is off, torn to pieces a few feet away.  Her father is in the middle of unbuckling his belt when he spots me.

“Get the hell out of here, you piece of shit!” he hisses at me.  “We’re _busy!”_

“Niall!” Maci screams.  “Help me!”  

I freeze when her father’s hand hits her face, whipping her head to the side.  But only for an instant.  I’m overcome with red hot rage.  I barrel toward him, slamming into him and pulling him off of Maci.

“How _dare_ you touch her like that!” I scream, landing on top of him and pinning him down.  “If anyone is a piece of shit, it’s _you!_ ”  I send punch after punch into his chest and face, opening his lip and a place in his forehead.

“Niall, please, _stop!_ ” I hear Maci scream.  I freeze mid-blow, stopping to look at her.

“Wha-” I start to say, but I’m cut off by a fist sent into my jaw.  “Gahh!” I yell, flipping off of her father.

I’m pushed down to the ground by a strong hand.  I can hardly see each fist before it rams itself into my cheek, my nose, and my jaw.  After the third blow I’m literally seeing stars.

“Dad!  _Stop!  Please!_ ” I hear Maci screech, but her father doesn’t listen.  The blows just keep coming, and I try to shove him off, but I just can’t.

I’m barely conscious when I see Maci’s knee bury into her father’s face, sending him flying back.  By the force of the blow in addition to the hits he took from me earlier, I could tell that he was knocked out.  Maci’s face appears over mine, tears streaming down her face.

“Oh my God,” she whispers.  “Oh my God, oh my God.”  I reach my hand up to cup her cheek.  “Niall, I’m so sorry.”

“I’m okay,” I say to her.  “As long as you’re okay, I’m okay.”

“No, Niall,” she cries.  “You’re not okay!  Let me call the boys.  Where’s your phone?”  I reach in my pocket and pull it out.

She takes it in her hand and taps on it for a while before putting it up to her ear.  She looks down at me, tear after tear falling down her face.  My face is numb.  I can’t feel a thing, and it’s hard for me to talk.  Boy, Simon will be thrilled.  Lou is going to flip.

“Zayn?” Maci says into the phone, her voice shaking.  “Niall’s hurt.  No time to explain, just get here.  Yes, I’m with him.  No, he’s still awake - okay.  Okay.  I’ll text you the address.  Okay, bye.  And please hurry.”  She hangs up and quickly types out something on my phone.

Maci sets the phone down on the ground next to her.  She covers her mouth with her hand and looks up at the ceiling.  Tears are flowing down her cheeks, silent sobs shaking her shoulders.  I reach my hand up and take ahold of her hand.

“Please don’t cry,” I say, but this only makes her cry more.  “I’m okay, really.  Can’t feel a thing,” I say, trying to joke and lighten the mood, but I make it worse.

She lays on the floor, curling into a fetal position.  I pull her closer to me so that her head is resting on my stomach.  Stroking her hair, I tell her that everything is going to be okay.  Her sobs slowly reduce to hiccups, and then she just breathes deeply, staring at nothing.  We sit like this for a while, until Paul and the lads burst through the front door.

 

 

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

“Hello?” a lazy voice picks up the phone.

“Zayn?” I say, my voice shaking.

“Maci?  What’s the matter?” he says, worried.

“Niall’s hurt.”

“ _What?_   What happened!?”  I wince, thinking about what just happened.

“No time to explain,” I say.  “Just get here.”

“Are you with him right now?”

“Yes, I’m with him.”

“Is he unconscious?”  I look back over at Niall just to be sure.

“No, he’s still awake.”

“Don’t move from where you are,” Zayn says frantically.

“Okay,” I reply

“Don’t try to move him, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Where are you?”  I hear a door open in the background and other people talking.

“I’ll text you the address.”

“We’re bringing Paul, he’s our bodyguard, so he’s okay to touch Niall, alright?  We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

“Okay, bye.  And please hurry.”

I hang up the phone and type out the address, sending it to Zayn.  I set the phone down next to me, putting my hand up to my mouth.  _What have I done?_ Niall is laying here, bloodied and bruised, and it’s all my fault.  Oh my God.  _Oh my God_.  The tears stream faster and faster down my cheeks.  _What have I done?_

I feel Niall’s hand take mine and I look down at him.  “Please don’t cry,” he says weekly, but I can’t stop.  “I’m okay, really,” he says.  “Can’t feel a thing.”  _Oh God_!  What have I _done!?_

I move myself to lay on the floor, sobs racking my body.  I curl into a ball, wanting Niall’s pain to go away, wanting it all to just go away.  I feel Niall pull me toward him, resting my head on his stomach.  He strokes my hair as I cry more and more, and he tries to calm me down by telling me everything will be okay.  I finally run out of tears and start to hiccup softly.  Eventually those stop too, and we sit in silence for a while.  After a while, the boys burst through my front door with a man who I assume to be Paul.

I sit up quickly, waiting for them to ask what happened.  They see Niall first.

“Oh my God, Nialler,” Zayn breathes.

“Bloody Hell,” Louis says.

“What the hell happened?” Liam asks.

“Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?” Harry asks.  

Louis elbows him and my face turns bright red.  I had forgotten that I wasn’t wearing a shirt, but I thank fully still had a bra on.  “I’ll explain later.  I’m going to run up and throw a shirt on.  Help Niall, and if my father wakes up, please just knock him out again.”  I run up the stairs, quickly darting into my room and throwing a navy blue t-shirt on.

I’m back down the stairs within a minute.  Paul is over by my father and the boys are already tending to my Nialler.  _My Nialler._   It feels nice to call him mine.  I quickly snap out of my thoughts and see what I can do to help.

“Really,” I hear Niall say.  “I’m fine.  Just a little shaken up.”

“Tell that to your broken nose,” Liam groans.  I cringe, making the boys look up.

“I’m so, so sorry,” I whisper.  They shake their heads.

“It’s not your fault,” Zayn says.

“Don’t just sit there,” Niall whines.  “Help me up.”  The boys hoist Niall to his feet, steadying him as he puts weight on his feet.  “See?” he tells me.  “I’m fine.”

I shake my head and walk over to him, pulling him into a hug.  I feel his arms around my shoulders and I bury my face in his chest.  “I’m so sorry,” I murmur.

“As long as you’re okay, it doesn’t even matter what happens to me,” Niall tells me, playing with the ends of my hair.

“Of course it does,” I tell him, pulling a way, but I don’t come out of his arms.  I stare at his face, assessing his injuries.  Niall has a split lip, several cuts on his forehead, and a broken nose.  The corners of my mouth quiver and I put my hand on his cheek.  “It matters to me.”

He smiles, but then grimaces and the smile pulls on the split part of his lip.  “Alright,” Paul says, coming over.  “Now that he’s on his feet, we should get him out of here and to the hospital.”

I try to step away from him, but Niall’s arms tighten around me.  “I don’t want you staying here tonight,” he says to me.

I had completely forgotten about where I’m staying.  When my father wakes up, he’s going to be very angry.  I hadn’t given any thought as to what would happen to me.

I nod.  “Okay,” I say.  “But where will I go?”

“You’ll stay in our room,” Zayn says.  “I think all of us agree that it’s not a good idea for you to stay here.”  I give him a weak smile.

“Thank you so much for being so kind to me,” I say.

“Go get your stuff,” Niall tells me.  “Bring clothes for quite a few days and anything else you might need.  We’ll wait here.”  I nod and step out of Niall’s arms.

I run up the stairs, pulling out a very large duffel bag.  I grab a few outfits, the first ones that I see, and stuff them into the bag.  I grab my toothbrush, foundation, and deodorant from the bathroom and toss then in the bag, too.  I have the feeling that I won’t be back here for a while, so I grab the $200 I have in a jar, my hair straightener and curler, and my favorite blanket, and toss them in the bag as well.  I zip it up and head down to the waiting boys.

“Alright, I’m ready,” I say.  Out of the corner of my eye I see my father stir.  He sits up and rubs his head.  I flinch.  “Let’s go,” I say in a rush, slinging the duffel over my shoulder.  The boys all pile out ahead of me.  I’m about to go out the door when my father calls my name.

“Maci,” he says weakly.  “Baby, please don’t go.  Please don’t leave me.  I need you.”

I stop, feeling bad.  He sounds so helpless.  And to leave him here...  I don’t know if I can.  Niall comes back in the door and puts his arm around my waist.  My father glares at Niall, and I’m reminded of what just happened.

“Pick your poison,” I say flatly to my father.  “I either stay and call the police, or I leave with Niall.”

His face turns from surprise to rage.  “Get out of my house,” he seethes.  “Get your sorry ass out of my house and never come back.”  I’m hurt by his words, but in a way, I’m relieved.

I don’t have to get hurt anymore, and I can also make my own decisions now.  I nod at my father and walk out the door, Niall close behind.  He comes up beside me after he closes the door and takes my hand.  We walk in silence back to the van.  I see that there is another car parked behind it, probably Paul’s.

The boys hop in the van and Niall and I take the back seat, letting Louis drive.  Paul gives Louis directions back to the hotel and jogs back to his car, following us as we pull out of the neighborhood.  Niall puts his arm around me and I rest my head on his shoulder, still taking in what just happened.  Actually, I just don’t want to even think about it right now, so I focus on Niall’s warmth and good smell.

Before I know it, we’re back at the hotel, walking in in silence.  The guests in the lobby give us weird looks, but we quickly pile into the elevator and the doors slide closed.  We get up to the boys’ floor and Paul gives the boys instructions.

“Zayn, Louis, Harry, and Liam,” he says.  “You’re staying here.  Niall and Maci and coming with me to the hospital to he his nose and lip taken care of.  Take her duffel in the room and _behave_ ,” he says sternly.  They nod their heads, immediately obeying.

Niall, Paul and I get back into the elevator and go back to to Paul’s car.  Niall and I sit quietly in the back while Paul drives through downtown Miami and to the hospital.  Paul parks and we walk in with few words, mostly from Paul to Niall - a small ‘Are you okay?’ and a ‘Yeah’ was all that passed between the three of us.  We go up to the desk and ask to see a doctor.  They get us into a room right away, and a nurse comes in.

She looks at Niall’s nose, poking it in certain places and making him wince.  I take his hand, squeezing it to let him know I’m here from him.  He smiles the best he can with a split lip, wincing again as the nurse pokes his nose again.

“It is broken,” she finally says, writing something down on her clipboard.  “But it isn’t too bad.  Just two main cracks along the cartilage - nothing we can’t set straight.  He’ll have two nasty black eyes, though.”

“Wonderful,” Paul breathes, and Niall rolls his eyes.

“The lip isn’t split enough to need stitches, so there’s really nothing we can do about that.”  I feel bad, but Niall squeezes my hand, letting me know it’s okay.  “I’ll go enter this in,” the nurse says, “and the doctor will be here soon to set your nose straight.”

She leaves the room and it’s quiet again.  The doctor strides in after a few minutes, walking over to the counter and putting on a pair of gloves.  He comes over with two small strips of metal and some tape.

“My name is Doctor Berg,” he says.  “That’s one broken nose you’ve got there.  Mind me asking how you got it?”  Niall glances nervously at Paul, then at me.  I shrug.

“I was in a fight,” Niall says plainly.

The doctor _tsks_ Niall, taking ahold of his nose, feeling it and making Niall wince.

“Okay,” the doctor says.  “This might hurt a little.”  Niall grips my hand tighter.

In one fluid motion, the doctor does a sort of twist and pull to his nose, and I hear a small thud, making me gasp.  The doctor places the two pieces of metal in two different spots on Niall’s nose and tapes them down with some sorta of heavy-duty gauze tape.  Niall groans when the doctor lets go, falling back on the bed he’s sitting on.  The doctor laughs a little.

“I know, kid, I’ve had ‘em before,” he says, patting Niall’s leg.  “They suck.  I can give you pain meds, though, and those will help.”  The doctor walks over to the counter, grabbing a bottle of pills and bringing them back over.  “One every 8 to 10 hours,” he instructs, handing them to Niall.  Niall takes one out of the bottle, popping it in his mouth while the doctor goes to get him some water.  He swallows the pill, and the doctor clasps his hands together.

“You’re good to go,” he tells us.  He hands Niall a folder.  “The nose should be back to normal in couple weeks.  Until then, be careful with it, try not to move it too much.  Take this to the lady out there, she’ll help you guys.”

“Thanks,” Paul says, waving to he doctor as he leaves.  “Let’s go kids,” he says, taking the folder from Niall.  He tosses Niall the keys when we’re out of the room.  “Head to my car and start it, I’ll be out in a minute.”

Niall and I head out to the car, hand in hand.  We climb into the back and he leans over the seats to put the key in the ignition.  The car starts and Niall settles back into the seat next to me.  He puts his arm around me and I bury my face in his chest.

“I’m so sorry,” I mutter.  “For everything tonight.  I so, so sorry.”  I mean every word I say.

“Don’t worry, Love,” he says, squeezing my shoulders.  “Like I said, as long as you’re okay, I’m okay.”


	11. Chapter 11

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

“Don’t worry, Love,” I say, squeezing her shoulders.  “Like I said, as long as you’re okay, I’m okay.”  These words are just so true - I don’t know how else to tell her.

Maci thinks it’s her fault, but it’s not.  It’s her father’s.  What the hell was he trying to _do_?  I don’t even want to think about what could have happened if I hadn’t heard her scream.  The pain in my nose is starting to subside, I assume because of the medication.  I’ve got the feeling in my face back, though.  I don’t know whether that’s good or bad, though, because the cuts on my face throb a bit.

The thing that I really care about right now is the fact the Maci is here with me, safe from harm.  Her father is at the house, probably trying to pick his pathetic self up off of the floor.  How dare he treat her like this.  What is his problem?  I’m just glad I got to Maci before anything worse happened.

Paul climbs back into the car and we ride in silence back to the hotel.  When we get into Niall and Zayn’s room, we find the lads sprawled out on the beds and floor and talking quietly.

“You have a interview tomorrow,” Paul tells us, holding the door open.  “Lou and Caroline will be here around noon to get you boys ready.  Get some rest, boys,” he says, then heads back to his room.

 

“How are you?” Liam asks, sitting up as the door closes.

I shrug.  “I’m alright.  No major injuries except my nose, but that should be healed in a couple weeks.”  

I feel Maci tense next to me and my arm tightens around her waist.  I can tell she feels badly, though she shouldn’t.  I lead her farther into the room and we take a place on my bed.

“How are you holding up, Maci?” Zayn asks.

“I’m...  I’m alright,” she says quietly, looking down at the ground.

I think the lads and I come to a silent understanding that it’s probably not a good idea to speak to Maci at the moment.  She’s probably still taking in what happened.  

I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be...  You know what I mean...  By her own father.  That’s got to do something to your head.

I feel Maci rest her head on my shoulder and she sighs.  I look down at her to see her eyelids drooping.  I pull her closer and she relaxes into me.  I see Zayn lay down on his bed and shut his eyes.  Before I know it, they’re both asleep and snoring softly.  

“So what _did_ happen?” Harry asks.

“Her father happened,” I sigh, recalling what I had seen.  “He was... trying to...”  I start to choke up, thinking about what could have happened.

“The ‘R’ word?” Louis asks, and I nearly laugh at his reference.

“Yeah,” I say, looking over at her.  She is sound asleep, looking innocent.  “I stopped him and was putting a beating on him.  Maci pleaded for me to stop, and I took my eyes off of him for just a second.  He was on me in no time, hitting me over and over.  It hurt like hell, but at least I stopped him.  I don’t know if I could have lived with myself if walked away and let that happen.”

That was the end of the conversation.  I think that they could all see me shaking with anger, so they dropped it.  The lads and I talk about other random topics for nearly half an hour.  Louis finally lets out a huge yawn, making me realize how tired I actually am.

“We should probably all get to bed,” Liam says, patting Louis’ back.  “It’s late.”

“I’ll go for that,” Harry grumbles, standing up and stretching.  Liam and Louis follow suit and quietly slip out the door, leaving me with a sleeping Maci and a snoring Zayn.

I slowly unwrap my arm from around Maci and pick her up, holding her bridal style.  She’s surprisingly light, and I carry her easily farther up onto the bed.  I lay her down, pulling back the covers and laying them over her.  I’m about to move to lay on the floor, but she reaches out and grabs my arm.

“Niall,” she whispers, not opening her eyes.  “Please don’t leave me.”  I smile widely, turning the lamp off and sliding into the bed beside her.

“Never,” I whisper, wrapping my arms around her.  She scoots closer, resting her head on my chest.

Soon I hear her snoring softly.  I rest my chin on top of her head and play with the ends of her hair behind her back.  How lucky am I?  Maci is an amazing girl.  And to have her as my girlfriend - I feel on top of the world.

Slowly, I let myself fall asleep to her soft snores.

 

 

\---

 

 

I wake up to soft sobs.  I open my eyes, feeling a little disoriented.  I take in the scenery - I’m in a hotel room somewhere, laying in bed with someone.  They cry softly, and I don’t know why.  Then I realize who it is.  Maci.

She turns in the bed, distressed.  Tears stream down her face, staining the pillows.

“No,” she whimpers softly.  “No, please don’t!  Please don’t, I’ve been good!”  He body jerks violently and she lands on her back, her arms thrown above her head.  “ _Niall!”_ she screams.

I just now realize what’s going on.  She’s having a nightmare.  I shoot up and scoot over to her, sitting her up.  “Maci,” I say frantically.  “Maci, I’m right here, Love.  I’m right here, it’s alright.  Everything is alright.”

“Uhhnn,” I hear Zayn moan from his bed.  “Niall?”

I turn around.  “It’s okay, Zayn.  Maci’s dreaming.”  He rubs his eyes sleepily and nods.  He sits up, waiting.

I turn back to Maci who’s still sobbing.  “Maci,” I say, stroking her cheek.  “Maci, it’s okay, it’s just a dream.  I’m right here, Love.”

Her tears stop flowing and she seems to relax.  Her breathing goes from shaky and frantic to steady and calm, and I slide her back down into a laying position.  Maci doesn’t wake up, but she soon goes back to snoring softly.

I relax and turn back to Zayn.  “I’m sorry about that,” I say, but he shakes his head.

“Don’t be,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck.  “From what you’ve said she’s gone through a lot in the past two days.  I’m not surprised that she did end up having a nightmare.  I probably would too.”

“Thank you,” I say, meaning it.  “For everything so far.  You’ve welcomed her as if she’s one of us.  I really appreciate that.  It means the world to me.  _She_ means the world to me.”

“I would do anything for my best mates,” Zayn says, shrugging.  “Plus, this girl has a hard life.”

I nod.  He’s right.  Glancing back over at her, I think about all that’s happened in the past three days.  The bruises, the incident at her work, I asked her to be my girlfriend, our kiss - and moments later having her call my name in desperation and finding her...

A chill runs down my spine.  “Niall?” Zayn asks, ending my thoughts.  I look back over to him.  “What is she going to do?”

“What do you mean?” I ask, furrowing my brow.

“What is she going to do now that...  Well, her father basically kicked her out of the house.  Have you asked her to come with us yet?”

“Yeah, I have,” I say.

“And?”

“Well,” I say, remembering the discussion Maci and I had.  “She said she had to think about it.  Then I asked her to be my girlfriend.  She said yes, then she went inside.  That’s when... That’s when all of that stuff with her father happened.”

“So you’re not really sure?”  I shake my head.  “You’re going to have to make that clear with her, you know.  Just ask her if this means that she’s coming with us.”

“I will,” I say.  I pause for a minute, then think of something.  “Do you think that she’ll be going to the interview with us?”

Zayn shrugs.  “No idea.  We’ll see what they say in the morning.  In the meantime,” he says, looking at the clock, “it’s two in the morning.  We should get some rest.”

I nod.  Before laying down I say, “Thank you Zayn.”  I lay down, wrapping my arms around Maci again.  I kiss her forehead gently and rest my head on hers.  I see the corners of her mouth twitch into a smile, making me chuckle.

I close my eyes and let her steady breathing slowly lull me back to sleep.

 

 

 

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

I wake up as the bed shifts.  I reach out, searching for Niall, but only find the warm spot where he was laying.  My eyes open wide and I sit up quickly, but slump back down because my head is pounding.  I search the room with my eyes, trying to find him.

I turn over to see Zayn still snoring and am comforted a little.  I’m just glad that I’m not alone.  I hear the bathroom door open and look over to find Niall - dressed in the same clothes as yesterday - scratching his head and looking tired.  He tosses a pill in his mouth and swallows it down with a glass of water.  I quickly close my eyes, pretending that I’m still asleep.

I hear Niall shuffle over to the bed.  He slips in next to me and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me close.  He buries his head in the crook of my neck, his hot breath giving me chills.  We stay like this for a long time, me still pretending to sleep.  I open my eyes because he can’t see them, and look at the clock, 11:24.  Wow, we woke up late.

I finally decide to ‘wake up’.  I stir gently, stretching.  Niall pulls his head away but doesn’t let go of my waist.  I smile, seeing him still trying to wake up.  Then I see the two black eyes forming because of his broken nose.  I feel a pang of hurt and guilt wash through me, but hide it, trying to act normal.

“Good morning,” I whisper, putting a hand on his cheek.  “How did you sleep?”  He opens his eyes momentarily to look at me, then closes them again.

“Do you remember having a dream last night?” he asks nonchalantly, avoiding my question.

“No,” I say truthfully.  “Why?”

“No reason,” he says quietly.  “I slept well.”

I decide to let it just roll off.  If he wanted to talk about something, he would talk about it.  I don’t like pushing for answers.

“Maci?” he asks, his eyes still closed.  I decide to rest my own, breathing deeply.

“Hmm?”

“I know this is probably a little soon after...  After what happened to ask,” he starts, and again I feel hurt and guilty.  I don’t let it show.  “But I’m going to anyway.  Are you coming with us on the rest of the tour?”

I forgot that he even asked.  My mind goes back to what happened last night.  These were the last words that my father said to me:

 

_“Get out of my house.  Get your sorry ass out of my house and never come back.”_

 

There’s no way that going back to my home would be safe for me.   And frankly, I didn’t want to, either.  I’d much rather be with Niall, who doesn’t take me for granted and makes me feel safe and happy.  I’m 18, I can make up my own darn mind.

“If the offer still exists,” I say.  “Then yes, I want to go.”

Niall smiles, opening his eyes.  “I’m so glad,” he says, kissing my forehead.  My cheeks get hot and I bury my head in Niall’s chest.

His arms tighten around me and I feel him let out a sigh.  He kisses the top of my head, playing with the ends of my hair.  I’m nearly about to fall asleep again when the door bursts open.

“GOOOOOOOOD MOOOOORRNNIIIIIINGG!” Louis screams, flying in the room in his pajamas.  Niall and I turn to him, laughing quietly.  He dances around at the foot of our bed before launching himself onto a whining Zayn.  “Good morning, gorgeous,” he says jokingly in Zayn’s ear.

Zayn shoves a pillow into Louis’ face, but Louis only pushes it back down on Zayn’s head.  Louis straddles him with and evil grin, holding the pillow over his face with both hands.  Zayn’s muffled cries come from the pillow, and his arms and legs flail helplessly.  After about ten seconds Louis climbs off of a frazzled Zayn.

“Time to wake up,” Louis says sweetly.  When Zayn moans a ‘no’, Louis puts a hand on his hip.  “Get your lazy bum out of bed,” he says sassily, chucking the pillow at him and making him cry out.

“As for you two,” Louis says, spinning on his heel to face us.  “Stop being mushy and get up, Lou and Caroline will be here in twenty minutes.”  With that, Louis strides out of the room with as much attitude as he can put into his hips.

As soon as he makes it to the door, he takes off down the hallway.  Niall and I laugh, turning back to look at each other.  “Is he always like that?” I ask curiously.

“Every single day,” Niall groans.

I roll my eyes.  “That was funny!  He can’t be that bad.”

“Trust me,” Niall says seriously.  “After a bit, you get convinced that he needs serious help.”

I laugh and sit up, stretching and realizing that I’m still in my leggings and navy blue tee from yesterday.  I wrinkle my nose, realizing that I haven’t bathed in two days.

“Can I shower?” I ask Niall.  He nods and I peck his cheek.  “I’ll be back in a minute.

I grab my duffel and slip into the bathroom and lock the door.  I quickly shower, doing my best to ignore the ugly bruise still covering my stomach.  It feels a little better, but not by much.  I think the incident in the shop made it a little worse, though.  I pull on a simple pair of jean shorts and a lime green tee from my bag.  I hurriedly brush my teeth and attempt to scrunch my wet hair a bit.  I lose patience and just shake it out while I zip up the duffel and unlock the door.

A shirtless and distressed looking Zayn is waiting for me when I open the bathroom door.  He’s bouncing up and down and looks on the verge of tears and I freak.  “Oh my God, Zayn!  Are you okay?”

“Just let me through!” he yelps, pushing me out of the bathroom.  “Gotta piss!”

I chuckle as he locks the door.  I walk out into the room and toss my duffel at the foot of the bed, climbing on top of the covers to face Niall, who hasn’t moved since I got up.  “You heard Louis,” I whisper.  “It’s time to get up.  Lou and Caroline - whoever they are - will be here momentarily.”

“Caroline is our stylist.  Lou is our...  I can’t think of the word, it’s too early.  She does our hair and stuff.”  I roll my eyes at him.

“It’s almost noon, it’s not early!”  I stand up on the bed, grabbing Niall’s arms.  “Nialler, get up!”

“I don’t want to,” Niall grumbles.

“But you haaave tooooo,” I say, dragging out the words.  “Do you want me to go get Louis?” I ask, raising my eyebrows and swinging his arms back and forth.

Niall’s eyes open wide.  “Dear God, no,” he says, making me laugh.  “I’m getting up, I’m getting up,” he says quietly.  “But first...”

He pulls me back down and I fall next to him, letting out a surprised yelp.  Niall sits up so that he’s leaning over me.  He brings his face close to mine and smirks.

“I’ve got to do this,” he says, bringing his lips to mine.  I kiss him back, smiling against his lips.

“Gahh!” Zayn shouts, making me jump.  “My eyes!”

Niall’s lips linger on mine for a little longer, then he pulls back laughing.  “Buzz off, Zayn,” he says jokingly as my face turns red.

Zayn holds his hands above his head and shrugs.  Suddenly, the door opens, revealing a concerned looking Liam standing in the doorway.

“Have you seen Louis?” he asks all of us.

“He came in here and nearly killed me,” Zayn says dramatically.  “And then he darted off down the hall.  Why?”

“Well,” Liam says, scratching his head.  “We seem to have lost him.”

Niall bursts out laughing, making me smile.  “How do you lose a Louis?” he asks, holding his side.

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out,” Liam says, smiling.  “Caroline and Lou will be here any minute to help us get ready for the interview, and we’re going to need him.”

There’s a shout from down the hall as soon as Liam finishes.  Liam raises his eyebrows and leans back to look in the direction of the noise.  He apparently sees something, because his face pulls into an _‘are you kidding me?’_ look.

“Found him,” he says flatly, running from the doorway and letting the door close.

We all laugh a little before getting up.  Niall goes to shower, Zayn to throw a shirt on, and me to wring whatever water I can out of my hair.  After about five minutes Niall steps out of the steamy bathroom with athletic shorts and a red polo.  He smiles at me before walking past to throw his dirty clothes on the floor in front of the dresser.

“Ah ah ah!” I say, waving a finger at him.  “Dirty clothes are where?”  He rolls his eyes at me and tosses his clothes over where I had folded up the other dirty clothes.  “Thank you,” I say with a smile.

As if on cue, the door bursts open - nearly hitting me - and Louis sprints in, shouting, “They’ll never find me!”  He dives under Zayn’s bed, making Zayn yelp in surprise.

“Oi!” Zayn shouts.  “Get out from under my bed!”

“NEVER!” Louis screams.

Niall and I are laughing our heads off when Harry rushes in the door.  “Louis, babe, where are you?” he says frantically.

Zayn stands on top of the bed and starts bouncing up and down.  “He’s.  Under.  Here!” he says with each bounce as Niall and I hold each other because we’re laughing so hard.  Every time Zayn lands there’s a muffled cry from under the bed.

“Don’t hurt him!” Harry shouts as he runs over to the bed and crouches down.  “Louis, you have to come out, Caroline and Lou are here!”

As if on cue, two women - dark skinned and light skinned - rush in the door, holding a few boxes.  Liam and Paul follow in after them.  “Where’s Louis?” Paul asks flatly.

“Under there,” Niall laughs, still holding onto me even though we’ve calmed down.

Paul heaves a big sigh and walks over to the bed as Zayn jumps off.  Harry stands up laughing as Paul crouches down and reaches his arm under the bed.

“Don’t touch me!” Louis yelps.  There’s a smacking noise, and Paul rolls his eyes.

“Louis, you hit me again and I’m pulling you out of here by your ankles.”  Everyone in the room laughs, including the two women who are currently setting up by the table.  

“I dare you!” Louis shouts, followed by another smacking noise.

“Have it your way,” Paul grumbles, reaching his arm farther underneath the bed.  

A few seconds later, he draws his arm out, holding a squirming Louis.  Paul hoists him into the air, dangling him by the ankle so Louis is flipped upside down.  By now Niall has collapsed beside me with laughter.  I’m about to fall over, Liam is overtaken with silent laughter, and Zayn has his hand on a shaking Harry for support.

“Put me down _this instant!”_ Louis shouts, punching Paul’s leg.

Paul shrugs, letting go of his ankle.  He lands in a crumpled heap while Paul laughs along with the rest of us.  Louis pops up right away, brushing himself off.

“I’m alright,” he says.  “ _Thanks for asking._ ”

The darker skinned woman steps forward.  “You’re quite welcome,” she says.  “Now it’s time to get ready.”  Paul waves as he exits the room, closing the door on the way out.

“Niall!” the light skinned woman says.  “You have black eyes!”  I immediately feel guilty again.  _They’re my fault._   “You have a broken nose!”

“Long story,” Niall says nervously as he picks himself off of the ground, and there are several coughs from the boys.  “It’s my own fault.”

Lou tsks at him.  “I’m going to have a hard time covering those up!”  _Oh no._

Niall must see me begin to shake because he comes over to me and puts his arm around my waist, comforting me a little.

“Caroline, Lou,” Niall says to them.  “This is my girlfriend, Maci,” he says and my face grows red.

I forgot that I had said yes to Niall.  Pathetic, I know.

“Pleased to meet you,” they both say.

“I’m Lou,” says the lighter skinned woman, shaking my hand.  When she steps back, the dark skinned woman approaches me.

“I’m Caroline,” she says, taking my hand.  I smile.

“I’m Maci.”

They both nod, then Caroline claps her hands together.  “Okay,” she says.  “Just in case you all didn’t know, Maci is going to be tagging along for the interview.”

“What?” I say out loud.  I immediately become embarrassed, my face growing red.  “I’m sorry, but I’m not even a part of the band!”

“Oh, no Love,” Caroline says with a smile.  “You’re not going to be in the interview, you’re just coming with.  But that still means we’re dressing you up!”

“Dressing me up?” I say, confused.

“Well you’ve got to look nice,” Lou says from behind Caroline.  “Not that you don’t already, this interview is just somewhat formal.”

“We’re not formal though,” Louis whines.

Liam shoots him a look.  “Where is it again?” he asks.

“The show is called ‘An Afternoon With Jacobs’,” Lou explains.

“I’ve never heard of that show,” I say.

“Neither has anyone else,” Caroline laughs.  “But they asked you guys to come on the show, so you’re going to.  Now strip!” she says, putting her hands on her hips.  “You know the drill!”

The boys immediately follow orders.  They flip their shirts off and toss them to the side, my eyes growing wide as the start to slip off their pants, leaving them in just their boxers.  I whip around, feeling my face get extremely hot.

“Uhh,” I say, hearing them all laugh behind me.

“It’s alright, Love,” Caroline tells me and I slowly turn back around.  “You’re going on the rest of the tour with them, right?  Well, there’s going to be a lot of _this_ ,” she gestures to the boys.  “May as well get used to it!”

I nod my head slowly and the boys laugh, making my face grow warmer.  Niall snakes his arm around my waist and pulls me to him.  The bare skin of his chest touching my arm send shivers up my spine and he chuckles.

“Alright boys,” Caroline says, tossing each of them an outfit.  Niall lets go of me to snag his.  “Put these on and we’ll go from there.”

The boys put on their outfits.  Liam wears a white long sleeved shirt with buttons running halfway down, and light sea-green pants with white shoes.  Zayn wears a sweater the same light sea-green with cream pants and red shoes.  Louis bargains with Caroline and she allows him to wear a gray-and-white striped shirt with red capris and white shoes.  Harry wears a red-and-sea-green plaid shirt with kaki skinny jeans and white shoes.  Niall wears a light sea-green polo and a red jacket over it, with dark kaki pants and green shoes.

Louis laughs and points at Niall.  “Niall looks like a Christmas elf!” he shouts, making everyone - including Niall - laugh.

“He’s got a point,” Caroline says seriously.  “Here, trade that jacket with this one,” she says, digging through a box and tossing him a white jacket that he slips on quickly.  “Much better,” she says with a smile.

“Alright,” Lou says, clapping her hands together.  “Louis’ up first.  Let’s go!”

Louis puts on a pouty face and drags himself over to the chair Lou has set up.  He plops down in the chair and she immediately goes to work putting powder on his face.  The boys sit down on the beds to wait their turn while Caroline approaches me.

“Go put this on, Love,” she says, putting clothes in my hands and shoving me into the bathroom.

I lock the door and look at what she’s given me [http://www.polyvore.com/untitled/set?id=66810885#stream_box].  What she’s picked for me makes me smile.  The colors go nicely with my hair and eye color.  I put it on quickly and take a couple seconds to admire myself in the mirror.  _I actually feel pretty._

I walk out of the bathroom and am met by Niall’s eyes.  He smiles and stands, walking over to me and wrapping his arms around my waist.

“You look beautiful,” he says, kissing my forehead.

My face turns red and I smile.  “Thank Caroline, she picked out the outfit.”

“I didn’t mean the outfit,” he says quietly, leaning in for a kiss, but he’s interrupted by a cough.

“Sorry to uhh, _interrupt_ ,” Louis says, hopping down from Lou’s chair while Lou and Caroline chat.  “But it’s your turn, Niall.”

Niall rolls his eyes.  “Sorry, Love,” he says to me and turns around, walking toward the chair.

I take a place beside Zayn on the bed and smooth out my skirt.  “You do look nice,” Harry says with a wink.

My face turns red as Liam elbows him.  Harry turns to glare at Liam, but that soon disappears into a playful smile.  Liam rolls his eyes and turns to me.

“So how are you?” he asks.

“What do you mean?” I say.  I have a good idea of what he means, but I just want to make sure before I make a fool of myself.

“Well,” he says, scratching the back of his head.  “I’m mean... I mean after what happened last night.  Are you alright?”

“Oh,” I say, looking down at my hands.  “I, uh...”  My eyes start to water, thinking about what my father was planning to do to me.  Yes, he was drunk, but I had never been that scared of him in my entire life.  Plus, I called Niall.  Yes, he did help me, but my father broke his nose, and it’s all my fault.  Now he has that to live with - along with two black eyes - for several weeks.  It’s all.  My.  Fault.  A silent tear falls to my hand, surprising me.

I feel a hand squeeze my arm and look up to find Zayn, his eyes sympathetic and caring.  I smile a thanks and another tear squeezes out of my eye without meaning to.  Louis starts rubbing back, comforting me and making me feel welcome.  These boys are just so darn amazing.  I’ve only known them for four days, and I’m already beginning to wonder what I would do without them.

“Zayn,” Niall calls from the chair.  “Your turn.”

He hops down from Lou’s chair and starts walking over.  As soon as he sees my tears, he frowns and speeds his pace.  Trading places with Zayn, Niall wraps his arm around me.  I see that Lou has covered up his black eyes nicely, but she can’t cover up the metal braces on his nose.

“What’s wrong, Love?” he asks, and I quickly wipe away my tears, snuggling into him.

“We, uh,” Liam says quietly, tugging at the collar on his shirt.  “We sort of brought up last night.”

I feel Niall tense and I put a hand on his leg.  “It’s okay, Niall,” I say quietly.  “It was going to come up sooner or later.”

“Yeah, but not now,” he says, and I can practically hear the glare he’s giving the boys.

I squeeze his leg, trying to let him know it’s okay.  “Really, I’m fine.  Please don’t be angry with them.”

Niall squeezes my shoulders.  “Whatever you say.”

“Okay,” Zayn says from Lou’s chair.  “Your turn, Harry.”

Harry trades places with Zayn, and then when Harry is done he trades with Liam.  The whole time, we’re talking about random things - from carrots to zebras.  These boys are so random that they’re not, if that makes sense.  As soon as Liam is made up, the boys and I go to leave.

“Ah ah!” Lou and Caroline both yell.  “Maci, come here!”

Caroline hurries over and takes my arm, pulling me toward the chair.  “I-I don’t wear makeup,” I say hesitantly.

“Nonsense!” Lou tells me, pushing me into the chair.

“Really, I don’t,” I say, closing my eyes as she puts a foundation brush in my face.  “I’ve never worn any kind of makeup beside a little foundation, but I only wear that when...  I only wear it sometimes.”

“Well, today is your lucky day,” Caroline says.  “The first time that you ever wear makeup, Lou gets to do it for you.  Watch her work her magic!”

“Oh please, Caroline,” Lou says to her.  “I don’t even need to put much makeup on her, she’s already carrying loads of natural beauty.”

“I knew this!” Niall says, raising his hand and making me blush like an idiot.

“Niall!” Lou snaps.  “Stop talking, when she blushes I can’t blend her skin tone!”  This only makes my face get hotter, and the boys laugh.

“You really are, Love,” Caroline says to me softly, and begins messing with my hair.

I smile.  “Thank you.”

“There we are,” Lou says about five minutes later.  “Go take a look.”

I get down from the chair and walk to the bathroom.  I’m amazed by what I see.  My eyes look about two times darker, but in a good way.  The eye shadow that she’s used accent my eyes perfectly, and it also matches the outfit.  My hair is braided into a messy bun, and I love the look of it.  I’m smiling like an idiot when Niall walks in, standing behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist.

“Beautiful,” he says, resting his chin on my shoulder.

My face turns beet red, and Niall can see it in the mirror.  “Thank you,” I say as he laughs quietly.  “Thank Lou and Caroline.”

“In my opinion,” he whispers, “you don’t need the makeup.”

I lean my head back on his chest.  “Thank you.”

“Alright, Love Birds!” Louis shouts, making me jump.  “Lets get a move on!”

Niall takes my hand, leading me out of the bathroom and out the door.  He’s perfect, there’s no doubt about it.  And the fact that he would choose me of all people?  I don’t even know what to think.  It’s only been four days, and I can already honestly say that I’m falling for this boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments to know how I'm doing? Always love to hear from you guys :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Comments to let me know how I'm doing? :)

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

She really does look beautiful.  And seeing her in the mirror, in my arms...  It feels so right.  I don’t know how else to describe it.  Maci, this amazing girl, showed up in front of me four days ago - and has already nearly turned my world around.

 

Maci is such a modest girl - a little insecure, if you ask me.  I blame her father.  Weak?  Who is that man to call her - of all people - weak?  He’s the man who begged her to stay.  He doesn’t have a job, relying on his eighteen-year-old daughter, can’t control his anger.  How much more pathetic can you get?

 

Nonetheless, he is her father, and - no matter how much I hate admitting it - without him I would not have this beautiful girl in my arms.  She doesn’t know that she is, though.  She always gives credit to another person when she’s complimented.  I find it incredibly attractive when a girl isn’t as into herself as much as I’m into the girl.

 

Maci is perfect.  I don’t know how else to put it.  She doesn’t even know what she’s doing to me.  Every thought that I’ve had since I met her has been about her in some way.  I’m falling for her, incredibly fast.  I can’t deny that.

 

“Alright, Love Birds!” Louis shouts, making Maci jump in my arms.  “Lets get a move on!”

 

I take her hand and lead her out of the bathroom and out of the hotel room.  We walk down the hall, out of the hotel, and pile into the van.  Maci and I are in the way back again, Zayn and Harry in the middle row, and Louis and Liam in the front.  Paul leans in the window to give Louis directions, and soon we’re driving through downtown Miami.

 

Maci leans her head on my shoulder and I wrap my arm around her.  How could anyone ever take such a wonderful girl for granted, let alone hurt her?  I lightly kiss the top of her head.  And this perfect girl?  She’s mine.

 

We pull into a lot about 15 minutes later.  There’s a building just to the right, and a big sign runs across the top, reading ‘An Afternoon With Jacobs’.  I still think it’s the most stupid name for a talk show that I’ve ever heard.  But oh well, if the lads and I have to do it, we will.

 

We climb out of the van and walk hurriedly into the building.  A stage manager meets us at the door and leads us back to a dressing room, where Lou and Caroline are already waiting to do any extra touch-ups.  Caroline inspects our outfits one last time before nodding her head in approval.  Lou brushes more powder on our faces, and then we’re good to go.

 

Surprisingly, there’s a studio audience.  None of us - including Maci, who actually lives here - have ever heard of this show, yet apparently a lot of people watch it.  They’ve saved a seat in the front row for Maci, and I kiss her cheek before letting her go sit down.  She sits between a woman that looks to be about 40, and a boy who looks about 20.  My face flushes as he starts talking to her.

 

 _Calm down, Nialler.  She’s with you._ I take a deep breath and have a seat in between Louis and Zayn.  I can’t help but keep my eyes on the boy and Maci.  He hasn’t stopped smiling at her since she sat down, and I can tell he’s cracking stupid jokes.  This makes me extremely angry, and I grip the arm rests tightly.  Zayn must feel this, because he leans over.

 

“She’s not flirting back, Nialler,” he says.  “Don’t just focus on the guy - look at how Maci is handling it.  She hasn’t laughed once, hasn’t even looked twice in his direction.”

 

I look back over to them and see he’s right.  Maci is keeping her head forward, watching me.  I smile at her widely, and she returns the grin.  The boy continues talking to her, but she just shrugs and keeps looking at me.

 

She really is perfect.

 

The lights in the studio dim and who I assume is the host comes on the stage and sits behind a desk on the far right of the stage.  The boy finally stops talking to Maci as both of them turn their attention to the host, so I do too.

 

“On in three,” a woman’s voice says.  “Two, one.”

 

The host puts on a winning smile and turns to the camera.  “Good afternoon everyone, my name is Bradley Jacobs.  Today on the show we have the boys of One Direction!”

 

As in virtually all of the live audience interviews, there are screams from some of the teenage girls throughout the seats.  It takes a minute, but they finally calm down and Bradley can start again.

 

“Now boys,” he starts, looking to Liam.  “How has the tour here in the States been so far?”

 

“The lads and I think it’s just wonderful,” Liam says, looking back for approval.  We all nod our heads.  “The fans here are amazing, and there’s a very welcoming crowd everywhere that we go.”

 

Bradley nods.  “How has it been being away from home?  Zayn?”

 

“I think,” Zayn says, “that being away from home has been a little tough on all of us.  But really, our friends and families are very supportive of what we do, and we go home every chance that we get.”

 

“How hard is it to maintain a relationship?  Louis?”

 

“It really isn’t that hard,” Louis says, shaking his head.  “All you have to do is trust in them, and see them as often as you can.  It can get extremely annoying at times - and I think I speak for us in relationships - when you can’t see your girlfriend.  But you’ve just got to make time in the hectic schedule that we have.”

 

Bradley nods again.  “And speaking of which,” he says as he raises his eyebrow.  “I’m sure all the ladies out there want to know - who’s taken?”

 

Oh my.  _Don’t overreact, Nialler._ It’s only the first official day of Maci and I being together, and if I raise my hand, the world is going to know.  No, no - I’m not ashamed to tell everyone - in fact, I’m extremely proud to call her my girlfriend.  But if I do, think of how much hate that Maci is going to get.  The other girls get plenty of it, but they’ve built up a tolerance to it.  Maci just doesn’t seem like the emotionally secure type, and I don’t want to put her under any extra emotional stress.

 

But if I don’t...  What will that say about me?  It will definitely show that I don’t want anyone to find out, and that’s not the case.  What will Maci think if I don’t?  Will she be angry?  Relieved?  Sad?  No, I can’t risk angry or sad - that’s not going to happen.  _You’re overreacting, Niall._ I hope she isn’t mad either way.

 

I raise my hand along with Liam and Louis.  I peek over at Maci to see her reaction - and she’s beaming.  Looks like I’ve made the right choice.  I turn my head and smile back at her and her face turns red as she looks down.  How adorable is she?

 

“Oh my,” Bradley said.  “I heard only two of you - Liam and Louis.  This must be recent!  What’s the story, Niall?  Who’s the lucky lady?”

 

My face turns red and I look at Maci again.  I send her a questioning look and she nods, giving me the go-ahead.  I won’t tell them about her father, just how we met.  I wouldn’t ever do that to her.

 

“It’s funny, actually,” I say as I adjust myself in my chair to face Bradley.  “We met in a bakery four days ago when I ditched the lads for a bite.”

 

“Isn’t that something!” Bradley mused.  “You’re the one who likes food, aren’t you?”

 

“I am,” I say, nodding.  “We chatted, I walked her home, then we exchanged numbers and started talking.  I actually just asked her to be my girlfriend last night.”  There are several whistles and screams from the audience, making my face turn red.

 

“That’s lovely,” Bradley says, smiling at me.  I glance over at Maci to see she’s doing the same.  “Now,” he continues.  “You say you only met her four days ago?”

 

“I think it’s safe to say that we’ve been through a lot in these past few days,” I say, keeping my eyes on Maci.  She nods with a smile and in the corner of my eye I see the lads nod as well.

 

“Now, you boys are going to be leaving Florida in about a week.  How are you planning to keep in touch?  You don’t live in the States.”

 

I look down, scratching the back of my neck.  “Uhh...  She’s actually coming on the rest of the tour with us.”  There are several more shouts and whistles, making my face turn more red.

 

Bradley laughs.  “I’m sure you had to pull a few strings for that,” he says.

 

I shrug.  “She’s an amazing girl, I don’t want to leave her.”

 

He _awwwhs_ with the rest of the audience.  “Now you’ve got to tell us her name,” he sighs.

 

I hesitate for a bit, wondering if I should give the fans that hate on our relationships the name of the girl that I’m falling for.  I’m quiet for a minute, deciding.  You know what, who cares what they think - they don’t know Maci or her story.  They can shove it.

 

“Her name is Maci,” I beam.

 

“What a lovely name,” Bradley muses, resting his chin on his hand.  “Do you have a picture of her?”

 

“Actually...” I say, looking over to Maci, who has a grin on her face.  “She’s here with us.”

 

Bradley laughs.  “Couldn’t bear to be away from her even for an interview?”

 

“Honestly?  No,” I shrug, and the audience laughs.

 

“Mind telling us where she is?”

 

I turn my head and can’t help the smile that spreads across my face as I see that Maci is wearing the same grin.  I raise my hand to point at her, and he face goes red as the camera focuses on her.  She tries to hide her face behind her hair, and the audience lets out a long _awwwh_.

 

“You’re quite the beautiful young girl,” Bradley says.  “I can see why Niall fell for you.”  

 

This makes her face turn a deeper shade of red, making her look even more adorable than she already is.  I feel a little pang at his comment, but quickly shake it off, remembering that she didn’t flirt with that other boy.  _She truly is an amazing girl_.  

 

“She’s amazing,” I mutter, just loud enough for the small microphone attached to me to pick up.  

 

My eyes widen and I turn the same shade as Maci, but I have no hair to hide behind so I’m stuck dealing with it.  Even though most of Maci’s face is covered, I can see the giant smile that spreads across her face.

 

“Now that that’s out there,” Bradley jokes.  “It’s time for a break.  We’ll see you after the break, where the boys are answering a few more questions, followed by a small performance!”

 

The crowd erupts in applause and cheers as Bradley waves to the camera before the _On Air_ light blips out.  He immediately relaxes, sharing a joke with Liam before he strides off of the stage.  I get out of my seat as Zayn pats me on the back, laughing.  I roll my eyes and make my way over to Maci, where she stands waiting for me.

 

I open my arms and she walks into them.  The boy that’s sitting next to her coughs loudly and shoots me a look.  I send him a glare, and pull away from Maci’s arms, pecking her lips.

 

“That wasn’t embarrassing in the slightest,” she jokes, wrapping her arms around my neck.  My arms find a place around her waist and I pull her closer.

 

“I hope you don’t mind,” I say, looking away and scratching my head.

 

She uses her finger to turn my head back to her.  “Not in the slightest,” she says, looking as beautiful as ever.

 

“Good,” I say, smiling and leaning in again.

 

Her lips feel wonderful against mine, like I was made for her and she was made for me.  We kiss for a long time, just happy in each other’s presence.  I nearly growl in frustration when the lights dim again, signaling that the show is about to start again.  She pulls away first, looking up at me with her wonderful hazel eyes.

 

“You better go,” she says as she catches her breath, her arms still wrapped around my neck.  I sigh heavily.  “It’s only for a little longer,” she jokes, removing her arms and putting her hands on my chest.  

 

She nudges me a little, and I reluctantly release her.  “I’ll take you out after this,” I say.

 

“You don’t have to,” she says.  How many times has she said that to me in these few days?  “Wherever you are is where I want to be.”

 

“I want to,” I say.  “And you get to choose where we go.”

 

Maci sticks out her lower lip.  “Don’t make me choose where you spend your money.  Especially on me.  You really don’t have to.”

 

“Niall!” I hear Louis shout from the stage.  “Get your Irish bum up here!”

 

I roll my eyes as the people in the audience who heard laugh.  I kiss Maci on her forehead and jog up to my seat, plopping down with a sigh.  Maci smiles sweetly at me and I can’t help but return it.

 

I can’t seem to get out of my head what she had said to me.  _Wherever you are is where I want to be._   I feel the exact same way.  How lucky am I?  I found Maci by chance, and now - only four days later - she’s my girlfriend _and_ coming with us on the rest of the tour.  She’s most amazing girl that I’ve ever met.  _And I wouldn’t have it any other way._

 

Oh boy.  The things this girl already does to me.

 

 

 

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~ 

 

 

I think that the fact that I’m Niall’s girlfriend finally set in when he said - _on television,_ mind you - that we’re dating.

 

 _I’m in a relationship._ Me - Maci Watson, the girl with no friends and an abusive father.  I have a boyfriend, and an amazing one at that.  Describe Niall in one word?  The answer is that I can’t.  There is not one simple word that captures all of him.  The good sense of humor, that amazing smile, his great looks, his tolerance for me, his kind nature, the effect he has on me.  My boyfriend is the most perfect person on the planet.

 

_My boyfriend._

 

I let out a giggle and my face goes bright red.  Thankfully, the audience is laughing at a joke just made on the stage, so it sounds like I’m laughing at the boys.  I try to focus back in on the interview, but keep getting side-tracked by Niall.  He’s answering questions that I can’t hear - mostly because I’m lost in the thought of him. 

 

It’s probably incredibly creepy, but I can’t help but watch the way he holds himself.  He’s so...  _Confident._ I could probably learn a few things from him.  There’s a certain way that he sits - his hands gripping the arm rests of his chair casually but firm, right leg crossed over the other, slightly slumped back in his chair.  Sometimes the corners of his mouth twitch upward for no reason, but I think it’s cute.  Wow, Maci, way to be cree-

 

My train of thought is interrupted by someone tapping my shoulder.  I turn my head to find the boy sitting next to me looking at my with a nice smile - no where near as captivating as Niall’s, though.

 

“So you’re dating Niall Horan?” he says quietly.

 

“Yes,” I say with a smile.  I turn my head back to the boys and find Niall looking at me questioningly.  I give him a cheesy smile with a thumbs up and his amazing smile returns.

 

“Wouldn’t it be hard dating someone so...  Famous?” the boy continues.  I turn my head again and the boy’s smile is gone.

 

“I wouldn’t know,” I say with a shrug.  “We haven’t been dating long, and I’ve only seen one girl fan-girl around him so far.  I’m definitely hoping that it won’t be hard on either of us.”

 

There’s a change in the boy’s expression, but I can’t catch what it is before he covers it up with a smile.  “Too bad he got to you first,” the boy said playfully.  “You seem like a great girl.  My name’s Hunter, by the way.”

 

My face turns red and I look at my shoes.  “Thanks, Hunter,” I say quietly.  “I’m glad Niall and I found each other, too.  A lot has happened, and he was there for me.”  I grimace a bit, remembering the incident with my father and Niall’s broken nose. “He makes me so happy,” I say, countering my unpleasant thoughts and putting a smile on my face.  I look back up to Niall with a prideful smile.  He’s answering a question from Bradley.

 

“Well,” Hunter says.  “If you ever need someone else there for you, shoot me a text.”  I feel him slip a piece of paper into my palm, his hand lingering for longer than necessary.  I pull away, and look at the paper, seeing a phone number scrawled across it.

 

“Thanks,” I say flatly.  “Good to know I have someone to talk to.”  I give him a tight smile, and he gives me a toothy grin.

 

Though he’s nice, Hunter is far from the type of person I would want to date.  I’m not an idiot - I know that’s what he means.  I’ve seen the movies, read the books, I know what flirting is.  And I can assure you that I’m not trying to flirt with Hunter.  Hurting Niall is not even one of the last things that I would ever want to do.

 

“Anytime,” Hunter says, settling back into his seat.

 

I look back at the stage to find Niall looking over again, but not at me.  He’s staring down Hunter.  My eyes widen and I look down at the piece of paper in my hand.

 

I manage to subtly get Niall’s attention.  He turns his harsh gaze on me I’ve made him angry.  Oh no.  I wince, the corners of my mouth tugging down.  Niall must see this because his expression softens immediately into a small smile.  I make my face go neutral and gesture to the little piece of paper.

 

The corner of Niall’s mouth twitches, his face twisting into one of subtle anger.  I wince again.  I quietly crumple the slip in my fist and brush it onto the floor, careful not to let anyone see.  Tapping it with my foot, I look down to make sure that it’s pushed far under my seat to be forgotten.

 

When I look back up, Niall has the most triumphant grin plastered to his face.  My face goes red and I give him a small smile, trying to let my hair waft over my face again.

 

“What are you smiling about, Niall?” Louis’ high voice pipes up.

 

My head - along with Niall’s - snaps to attention.  His face goes red as he tries to reply.  “I - Uh - It’s - Nothing -” he stammers as the audience laughs loudly.

 

“Alright boys,” Bradley says, still half laughing.  “We’ll come back after the break for a live performance of _What Makes You Beautiful_ , then wish you well on the rest of your tour.  Be back for part three!” he says as the _On Air_ light flicks off and the lights brighten again.

 

I can’t help the goofy grin that spreads across my face as Niall hops out of his chair and hurries over to me.

 

_You’re falling, Maci._

 

 

 

**********************************Six Hours Later*******************************

 

 

 

 

“Niall,” I whine.  “Don’t make me decide.  You don’t have to take me anywhere, really.  We can grab something at the hotel-”

 

“Nope,” Niall interrupts.  “I’m taking you out, and there’s nothing you can do about it.  Now where will it be?”

 

I sigh heavily.  “Niiaallllllll...”

 

“Maaaccciiiii...” he counters.

 

“Can’t we just grab some fast food or something?” I say quietly.

 

“Somewhere nice,” he says, reaching across the divider and taking my hand.

 

We’ve been driving around aimlessly for about twenty minutes, trying to find out where to eat.  I really don’t want him paying for me.  I feel bad that he thinks he should.  I would rather he saves his money for something more important.  I groan and rest my head against the window.

 

“Just tell me your favorite restaurant and we’ll go, Love.”  There’s a warm feeling in my chest as Niall squeezes my hand.

 

I have one restaurant in mind, but it’s somewhat expensive and I had only been there once.  Needless to say, I never really went anywhere with my father.  “Well...” I say hesitantly.

 

“Hmm?”  Niall glances over.

 

“Famous Dave’s,” I mutter quietly.  I love the food there, and the corn bread is to die for.

 

“Love,” he says with a smile.  “That is a great choice.”


	13. Chapter 13

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

 

Getting there had been the tough part.  I had only been here once, so I couldn’t put my finger on just where it was.  The car ride here had held several play arguments and many wrong turns.  Eventually, we pulled into the parking lot at about 7:30.

 

It’s a Monday, so there aren’t many people here.  Just in case, Niall had requested a table in the back so he won’t get recognized.  Unlucky for us, though, the waitress is a huge fan.

 

“Oh my gawd!” she squeals with a goofy smile as she twirls her blond ponytail around her finger.  “Niall I love you!  You’re _sooo_ my favorite, and you have a beautiful voice!”  Niall smiles dryly and fumbles through his menu.  “I just can’t believe you’re here!  Like oh my _gawd!”_

 

 _“_ What would you like to drink?” Niall says wearily, glancing up at me.

 

“Just water, please,” I say to the girl, who sends me a look before scribbling on her notepad.

 

“I’ll just have water too,” Niall tells her.  She gives him a giant smile before bouncing away.

 

He heaves a sigh as she disappears from view.  I chuckle a little and glance down at the menu.  “Do you get that a lot?”

 

“You have no idea,” he huffs.

 

“I told you that you don’t have to take me out if you don’t want to,” I point out, meeting his eyes.  “We could have just gone back to the hotel with the boys.”

 

He rolls his eyes.  “I’ll be damned the day that I let a couple people fan-girling get in the way of a date with you.”

 

I feel my face get hot and I let my hair fall in front of my eyes.  “Thank you, Niall. That means a lot.”

 

“Anything for you.”

 

This only makes my face grow warmer.  _What is he doing to you, Maci?_ I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.  Granted, I didn’t have any friends before I met Niall and the boys - but even then I hadn’t had even a petty school-girl crush.

 

My thoughts are broken my a glass being slid in front of me.  I look up to see the is waitress back, sending me a glare that quickly dissipates when she looks back to Niall.  _What have I done to her?_ She sets Niall’s water down close to him, brushing his shoulder as she pulls her hand back.  A wave of something floods through me - was it...  Jealousy?  Niall’s lips are pressed into a thin line as the waitress - her name tag says Riley - sets two straws down on the table and smiles sweetly at him.

 

“What are you going to have to eat?” she says, only really talking to Niall.  He shakes it off and looks over at me.

 

“Maci?”

 

I realize that I haven’t even been looking at the menu.  Frantically searching for something to eat, I tell him he could order first.  I don’t hear what he orders, but Riley squeals in delight.  I raise my eyebrows and look over.

 

“That’s a good choice,” she says with a wink.

 

I feel my face turn red, but this time it isn’t the warm tingly feeling I usually get from Niall.  This is different, like an almost cold feeling.  Anger, I realize.  _Oh boy._

 

I quickly look back down and spot something.  Telling Riley my order, I realize that she isn’t really paying attention.  She’s watching Niall dreamily, and nodding for no reason.  I clear my throat and she snaps to attention, giving me an annoyed look.  She quickly scribbles something down and narrows her eyes at me as I hand her my menu.  Riley wipes the look off of her face before turning back to Niall.

 

“Food will be out in a minute,” she purrs, brushing his shoulder with her hand on the way past him.

 

I bury my face in my hands and let out a groan.  I can’t get angry at other people, I have no reason to!  They’ve done nothing wrong, it’s probably just me.  Was she doing anything wrong?  I sure seem to think so, but I know deep down that I shouldn’t be getting angry.  Niall’s hand on my arm pulls me out of my thoughts.

 

“What’s the matter, Love?” he asks worriedly.

 

“It’s nothing,” I lie, my head still in my hands.

 

“It’s that girl, isn’t it?”

 

I sigh and meet his eyes.  He looks at me apologetically and moves his hand from my arm down to my hand.  “I’m sorry,” I say.  “I shouldn’t be mad.”

 

Niall lets out a cross between a sigh and a laugh.  “I don’t think this is going to make you feel any better, but this kind of stuff happens to the lads and I everywhere.”

 

“You’re right,” I groan.  “That doesn’t make me feel any better.”

 

He squeezes my hand and I give him a weak smile.  “I know how you’re feeling.  That guy that was talking to you earlier?  Same kind of thing.”

 

My face goes red.  “I’m sorry, that was my fault.  I was talking to him.”

 

Niall shakes his head.  “That was not your fault.  You were being nice, he was the one flirting.”

 

I shrug, giving in.  “I don’t know what I did to that girl, though,” I sigh.  “She’s been sending me looks.”

 

He grimaces.  “You didn’t do anything, Love.  She shouldn’t be rude to you.  You’re an amazing girl.  Don’t let anyone ever tell you anything different.”

 

I smile widely at him and brush my thumb over the top of his hand, still holding mine.  “Thank you,” I whisper.

 

Niall is amazing.  He always knows just what to say to make me feel better.  I don’t know why he still likes me, though.  I got his nose broken - my smile falters a bit as I think about this - my father was horrible to him, the second day I knew him I was already bawling my eyes out like a little baby, and I honestly have nothing to give.

 

I’m not a good singer, like him.  I’m not a good dancer.  I don’t play an instrument.  I don’t have friends beside the boys that I met yesterday.  I don’t come from a good home.  I’m just plain useless, definitely not special like him.  Why does he like me?

 

“Anything for you,” he says quietly, leaning in over the table.

 

His lips meet mine and I’m filled with that lovely warm feeling again.  My stomach bursts with butterflies as his free hand moves up to cup my cheek.  I’m always so far away when we kiss.  I feel like I’m on a different planet, drifting in the low gravity.  Weird, I know.  I’m about to get lost even further when someone clears their throat, startling both of us.  I pull away quickly, smoothing out the skirt that I’m wearing - the one from the boys’ interview this afternoon.

 

I look up shyly to find Riley standing there, looking absolutely livid and holding our tray of food.  My face turns bright red as she shoots me daggers with her eyes, and I look down at my hands, still in Niall’s.  I slowly pull away, but not before feeling him squeeze my hand.

 

“Here,” she snaps, roughly setting down my small plate in front of me.  She smiles kindly at Niall and sets his down lightly in front of him.  “Can I get you anything else?” she purrs, laying a possessive hand on his shoulder.  

 

A wave of anger floods through me.  _He’s not yours to have, so back off,_ I mentally snap.  _Oh gosh, did I really just think that?  Cool it, Maci._

 

“No thanks,” he says, flinching away from her hand.  “We’re fine.”

 

“Well just let me know,” she says with a wink, sending more anger through me.  _Maci..._

 

Niall huffs as she walks away.  “I’m sorry.”

 

I shake my head and pick up my fork, digging into the food placed in front of me.  I take a bite and feel somewhat better, considering I’m eating at my favorite restaurant.  In my peripherals I see Niall doing the same.  It’s quiet for a long time, neither of us interested in breaking the silence.  Niall finishes several minutes before I do, wiping his hands on his napkin.

 

“That was delicious,” he says enthusiastically, one of us finally speaking.

 

I nod my head and smile, taking another bite.  “My favorite,” I tell him after I’ve finished chewing.  “My father took me here once, when I was 14.”

 

Niall winces at the mention of my father, but nods his head thoughtfully.  My eyes land on the metal brace resting on his nose and I wave of guilt and sadness takes its time moving throughout my body.  _I caused that_.  Something must have changed in the way I was looking at him, because Niall rests his hand on top of mine - I now realize that it is shaking.

 

“It’s alright, Love.”

 

I set my fork down and heave a sigh.  “No, it’s not, Niall.  My father broke your nose and now you have to wear that metal brace on it and you have black eyes that are hard to cover up and it’s all my fault because I-”

 

“-Maci,” Niall says, and something in his voice makes me stop mid-word, my mouth slightly open.  “Stop.  Take a breath.”  I do as he says and pull my hand away from his, folding my hands and resting them in my lap.  

 

“This-” he gestures to his nose.  “-is not your fault.  This is what your _father_ did to me.”  I wince.  “Not you.  The eyes?  They’re easy to cover.  In fact, I don’t even want to cover them, because they show that I saved the girl I’m crazy for.”

 

A warm tingly feeling runs through me and I look up to meet his sincere eyes.  He’s crazy about me?

 

“There’s nothing you could have done to stop him-”

 

“-That’s not true,” I interrupt.  “I could have just not called for you and-”

 

“-And what!?” he raises his voice.  Niall’s fist clenches and I start to get worried.  “And let him do something like that to you?  _Rape_ you!?”

 

His voice stings me and my eyes prick.  I hadn’t thought about it like that.  _Rape._ What a strong word.  I guess that’s what my father was going to do.  I just hadn’t thought about it like that.  And now that Niall has said it...  He’s right - but it feels like a ton of bricks were just dropped on top of me.  Add to that the fact that Niall is getting angry -  I’m on the verge of tears.

 

“Niall,” I say quietly.  I have to find some way to calm him down.  “Please, it’s alright.  I know my dad is...  Extreme at some times, but-”

 

“But _nothing_!” he shouts, standing up and making the table rattle.  His chair scrapes noisily against the floor and I flinch.  “How can you just sit there and let him _do_ that to you, Maci!?”  A couple people are staring at us now.

 

“Niall, please, sit down,” I whimper.  “It’s okay-”

 

“-Maci, listen to yourself!” he shouts, slamming his fist on the table and making my stomach wrench.

 

I wince, and throw my hand over my head in complete fear, ready to block the next blow heading my way.

 

 

But it didn’t come.

 

 

I slowly open my eyes and look up at Niall.  What I see completely catches me by surprise.  His face is horrified, staring down at his hand, still in a fist on the table.  He just gapes open-mouthed at it, like it’s some kind of alien.

 

I’m too shaken up, though.  I can’t handle it - Niall getting angry, slamming his fist on the table, and then...  I thought he was going to hit me.  I honestly was prepared for a blow to the face.  This in itself brings tears to my eyes.  _Why would I think that of Niall?_

 

My vision becomes blurry with tears - tears of weakness.  I can’t believe I’m going to cry.  _You don’t deserve him, Maci._

 

Niall looks up at me, his face still horrified.  “Maci, I-”

 

I don’t hear the rest.  I launch myself from my chair and am running out of the restaurant before I know it - tears streaming down my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments to let me know how I'm doing? :)


	14. Chapter 14

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

 

“But _nothing_!” I shout, standing up and making the table rattle.  My chair scrapes across the floor and I see Maci flinch.  I’m too worked up to notice her expression.  “How can you just sit there and let him _do_ that to you, Maci!?”  A couple people look over to us.  I’m drawing attention.

 

“Niall, please, sit down,” she whimpers.  “It’s okay-”

 

The problem is, _no, it’s not okay_.  Why does she let him walk all over her?  He has no right!  Has he really got this into her head that anything he does to her is _okay!?_ What the hell kind of person _does_ that!?

 

“-Maci, listen to yourself!” I yell, slamming my fist on the table.

 

She shuts her eyes tight and throws her arms over her head.  I’m confused at first, but then realization dawns on me.  I look down in horror at my clenched fist on the table.

 

She thinks I’m going to hit her.  _Oh God._ I don’t know why, but I’m frozen in place, gaping at my fist.  The one thing you promised to never do - she just thought you would.  What is she going to do?  What’s going to happen?  I can’t just let it go like that.  I have to say something.  But what?

 

I see her open her eyes carefully and bring her shaking arms down.  _You’ve got to say something, Niall.  Apologize._ I don’t know what to say, though!  Why is this so difficult for me!?  It’s a simple sorry, I’ve overreacted.  _Just say it, Niall._

 

I slowly look up at her, her eyes wide and watering.  _Oh God._ “Maci, I-”

 

She doesn’t let me finish.  Before I know it, she’s already out of her seat and running for the door.  _Oh shit._

 

“What happened with _her_?” a stuck-up voice says from behind me.  I whirl around to find the waitress - Riley - standing there with a smirk on and a hand on her hip.

 

Great.  Just who I wanted to see - note my sarcasm.  “Just give me the bill and I’ll be on my way, please,” I say as calmly as I can manage.

 

“No,” she coos.  “Please stay.  We can chat a while.  Wanna talk about it?” she asks, walking closer and putting a hand on my shoulder.

 

“Please stop touching me,” I say, pulling away.  What is her problem?  I slap $40 on the table.  “There.  That should cover it.”

 

I don’t hesitate in running out the door after her.  I’ve got to go after her.  I didn’t mean to scare her - in fact, I honestly scared myself.  Stupid Niall, you’re so _stupid!_ Why can’t you just control yourself!?

 

So many thoughts were running through my head as I burst through the doors and out into the parking lot, the muggy night air surround me.  I scan the whole area for Maci.  Only...

 

 

She’s not here.

 

 

 

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

 

I don’t know where I’m aiming to go as I shoot out of the restaurant - but somehow I end up behind the building, a giant sobbing heap.  Next to the dumpster.  Where I belong.

 

 _You’re so weak, Maci_.  And that part of me is right.  I’m sobbing over something that didn’t even happen.  Niall hadn’t hit me.  But why?  I was being unreasonable - I was making him angry, something I know always leads to being... hit.  But he hadn’t.

 

For some reason, this thought makes me sob even harder.  I don’t know why I thought that of him.  Niall is amazing, and he made me a promise.  I know deep down that he wouldn’t break that promise, ever.  I curl myself up, closing my eyes, hugging my knees,  and leaning against the wall.  This is my time to think.  Sure, I’m a complete wreck.  And that means that my thoughts are the same way.

 

_You’re weak.  You caused Niall’s broken nose, his black eyes, his suffering.  You shouldn’t have met Niall - he’d be better off without you.  You’re a burden.  You deserve the treatment you receive from your father.  Niall doesn’t like you.  How dare you think Niall low enough to hit you?  You’re worthless._

 

“Maci!” a voice breaks through my thoughts.  My sobs continue, the tears running down my face.  _You don’t deserve for anyone to care._

 

“Maci!” the voice calls again.  I recognize it.  Niall.  “Maci, please!  I’m so sorry!”

 

“Niall,” I whimper softly.  _Don’t call out to him.  You don’t deserve him._

 

“Maci!” he calls out again, making my heart hurt.  I want to answer him so badly, but half of my mind is stopping me.  “Please!”  His cries sound desperate.  “Please, just answer me!  I’m so, so sorry!”

 

 _Don’t do it, Maci.  Don’t._ This part of me...  I’ve always had it.  This bully at the back of my mind, always nagging on me.  Every good thing I get is always downgraded by it.  Putting me down, telling me I can’t.  But that’s all it is.  A bully.

 

“Niall!” I call out weakly, still sobbing.

 

_You’ll see, Maci.  Just you wait.  All your walls will come crashing down around you._

 

This makes me cry harder.  All I want is to be left alone by this... this half of myself.  Every good thing... just gone because of it.  But see, this half of me has been less and less lately.  Why?  Niall.  When Niall is with me, this part of me - this _bully_ \- is nearly gone.  I don’t know what it is about him, but even the victim side of my tells me I don’t deserve this amazing boy.

 

Sobs and whimpers wrack my body.  I don’t hear any footsteps.  Niall isn’t calling my name anymore.  I’m alone.  I’m forgotten.  I don’t know where I’m going to go.  My father will never let me come home.  My belongings are at the hotel.  Niall doesn’t want me anymore - this realization hurts most of all.  

 

A huge wave of sadness falls onto my shoulders, weighing me down impossibly so.  I just thought...  I thought that Niall and I...  I’ve never felt this way about _anyone_.  That’s a fact.  And I think...  I think you call this love.

 

But no.  I’m not loved back.  No one will ever love me.  This time, my bully doesn’t have to say it.

 

This seems to bring back renewed tears.  It becomes hard to breathe, the weight pushing down on me like nothing I’ve ever felt before.  This hurts more than anything my father could have ever done to me.

 

I think any kind of pain I could experience right now wouldn’t be enough to mask this.  _Niall is gone, you don’t have a home, you’re not wanted anywhere.  You have nothing left._  

 

“Niall,” I whimper weakly, one last time.  I don’t wait for an answer.  I simply slump over, waiting for the pain of my head hitting the cold, hard concrete.  

 

But I’m caught by a pair of warm and welcoming arms.

 

 

 

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

 

“What have you done,” I snap at myself, jogging out to the middle of the lot to try to get a better look around.  “She’s gone.  _Find her_.”

 

But I don’t even know where to start looking.  So I use my singing lungs.

 

“Maci!” I call out.  Just like I thought, no answer.  “Maci!  Maci, please!  I’m so sorry!”

 

Still, nothing.  I start to panic.  Where could she have gone!?  Certainly not back to her father’s.  She would be beaten to dea-  No.  I can’t think about that.  My chest heaves and I call out again, fearing what she might do because of me.

 

“Maci!  Please!  Please just answer me!  I’m so, so sorry!”  By now  I’m coughing, trying to catch my breath.  It feels like my chest is constricting, growing tighter and tighter so I can’t breathe.  But I can’t give up - I have to find her.

 

I’m about to call out again when a voice - _her_ voice - stops me.  “Niall!”

 

It’s quiet, but I hear it.  Without any hesitation, I take off toward the way I heard it.  I stop short though.  There’s an alley in front of me, stretching along the side and around the back of the restaurant.  Would she really go back there?  I’m about to head another way when I hear soft cries.  It pains me so much, but I recognize them anyway.  _Maci._

 

I jog down the alley and round the corner.  Sure enough, further down is Maci, curled into a fetal position against the wall.  My eyes prick at the sight, but I quickly blink away any tears I have.  I have to be strong, for her.  I have to apologize, because I caused her suffering.

 

I approach Maci quietly, not wanting to scare her or make her run away.  Her sobs grow louder as I get closer, and it feels like a dagger in my chest.  _You caused this, Niall._   I don’t think she hears me, because her head stays buried in her knees, whimpers and sobs wracking her body.

 

I kneel down next to her.  I’m about to put a hand on her shoulder when she lets out a small cry.  “Niall...”  That was the twist to the knife in my chest.

 

I don’t even hesitate to gather her in my arms as she slumps over.  Despite the warm weather, Maci feels cold.  I think I startle her a little, but she buries her face in my chest as she cries harder.

 

“Shh,” I say quietly, pulling her closer and stroking her hair.  “It’s okay, Maci.  I’m here.  I’m so, so sorry.”

 

I bury my face in her hair, breathing in her wonderful scent.  She seems so small in my arms, so... breakable.  The one thing I know that she is not.  She’s survived all of these many hard years with her father.  I’m pretty sure that I’m the only one that she’s ever opened up to like this, and look what I’ve made of it!  I have to make it better, and if that means comforting her while she cries tears caused by me - then so be it.

 

After a long while of us sitting like this, her sobs finally die down into soft hiccups.  “N-Niall?” she asks innocently, lifting her head to look up at me.

 

“What is it, Love?” I whisper.  The mascara she was wearing has smeared down her face, and I gently wipe most of it away.

 

“D-do...  Do you still want me?” the question hits me like a ton of bricks.  She must have seen this, because she buries her face back in my chest.  “If y-you don’t...  I c-can get m-my stuff and g-go h-home.”

 

No.  No, no, no.  She will not go home, and that is final.  But her question...  Do I still want her?  That’s like asking me if I want food.  The only answer I could give them is, ‘I don’t want food, I _need_ food’.  I don’t _want_ Maci.  I _need_ her.  I need Maci Watson in my life.  There is not one single doubt in my mind.  End of story.

 

But how do I say that to her?  It seems simple enough, but it’s really not.  I open my mouth only to close it again.  Words are caught in my throat, feelings bottled up inside.  No one has ever had this effect on me - no one has ever meant this much.

 

I can’t just say nothing.  But at the same time, I can’t say the _wrong_ thing.  I have to say something, now.  What will she think if I don’t?  So many words, fighting for their way out of my mouth.  So I open it, and hope to God that whatever comes out won’t make things worse.

 

“Maci,” I blurt.  “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments to let me know how I'm doing? :)


	15. Chapter 15

~*Maci’s P.O.V*~

 

 

 

“D-do...  Do you still want me?” I ask.  His expression falters, but I can’t read it.  Fearing the worst, I bury my face back in his chest, breathing in the last of his scent that I may ever smell.  “If y-you don’t...  I c-can get m-my stuff and g-go h-home.”

 

His breathing becomes unsteady and there’s a long, _long_ pause.  For a few moments, I’m afraid that I’m not going to get an answer at all.  I’m about to pull away when his next words stop me.

 

“Maci,” Niall blurts.  “I love you.”

 

My head whips up to look at his beautiful blue eyes, made darker by the night sky.  Even in the dark I can see his face turn a bright red as he averts my eyes.  Did he really just...  Say that?  Did Niall really just admit what I was just thinking about?

 

And now that he’s said it...  It makes it all the more true for me.  I love Niall.  Niall loves me.  I can be loved.  I can be wanted.  In four days, Niall has changed my life completely.  And I - I love him for it.

 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles quickly.  “If that made you uncomfortable-”

 

“-Niall,” I interrupt him with a new found confidence.  He turns his head to look into my eyes.  I will myself not to get lost in them, and focus on what I want - what I _need_ \- to say.  “I - I love you too.”

 

I shut my eyes tight, waiting for what he has to say.  But he doesn’t say anything.  Instead, I feel his lips press against mine.  I kiss him back instantly, getting a handful of his shirt and pulling him closer.  I do love Niall.  And this realization has lifted so much weight off of my shoulders.  Plus, to know that he feels the same?  It’s given me a whole knew level of confidence.

 

Niall’s hands move to my waist, pulling me even closer to him.  Deepening the kiss, he leans back, tugging me with him.  Suddenly I’m laying on top of him and wrapping my arms around his neck.  We kiss like this for a long time - I’m not sure how long.  But finally, I pull away.

 

“Niall,” I say breathlessly, still on top of him.  “I think we should be getting back to the hotel.”

 

His face looks almost disappointed, but he quickly recovers.  “Probably,” he agrees.  “Paul might be getting worried, and he’ll chew us out if we get back too late.”

 

I nod and attempt to get up, but Niall’s arms stay tight around my waist.  I shoot him a confused look and he chuckles, lifting his head up enough to kiss my lips again.  Warm tingles shoot through my body and I smile against his lips.  He pulls away and grins widely.

 

“I love you,” he says.  Another sense of warmth shoots through me - better than before.  Butterflies dance throughout my stomach.

 

“I love you too,” I reply.  I pat his cheek softly.  “Now let’s head back.”

 

 

\---

 

 

The whole ride home our fingers are laced across the divider.  Occasionally he would squeeze my hand, just to let me know he’s here.  We make it back to the hotel without incident and trudge up the stairs to the hotel room because the elevator was taking too long.  Niall pulls out his room key and slides it in the reader.  The door unlatches and we walk into an empty room.  I sigh heavily at the sight of a dirty outfit tossed on the floor and walk over, folding it and putting it where it belongs.

 

“You don’t have to housekeep for us,” Niall jokes, sliding an arm around my waist.

 

“Well someone’s got to do it,” I reply.  “And I doubt it will be any of you boys.”

 

He chuckles and releases me, walking over and plopping onto his bed.  Niall puts his hands behind his head and closes his eyes, taking several deep breaths.

 

“Can I use the shower?” I ask, rummaging through my duffel.

 

“Of course,” he replies, not opening his eyes.

 

I nod my head even though he can’t see it.  I pull out some shampoo and conditioner that I had managed to grab in my mad dash out of the house, along with a pair of shorts and a large tee.  Closing the door as I head in, I turn on the shower and wait until the water is warm before stripping down and stepping in.

 

I feel what’s left of my makeup wash off, along with most of the stress from today.  There is nothing to be afraid of now.  I am with the boy that I love - yes, indeed _love_ \- and he will never hurt me like I’ve been hurt before.  

 

I close my eyes and start humming the opening notes to ADELE’s _Don’t You Remember._   It’s a lovely song, and it’s honestly my favorite.  By the time I’m washing out the lathery shampoo from my hair, I’m full out singing the chorus.

 

 

_I know I have a fickle heart,_

_And a bitterness,_

_I wondering high and heaviness_

_In my head._

 

_But don’t you remember._

_Don’t you remember._

_Don’t you remember,_

_The reason you left me._

 

 

It’s quite a sad song, but I love it nonetheless.  I finish washing out the conditioner I had replied, and scrub the rest of my face with a washcloth that I’d found under the sink - careful not to put too much pressure on my still-tender bruise.

 

I turn the water off and step out, the mirror cloudy from the steam.  Wrapping a towel around myself, I flick on the switch for the fan to hopefully get rid of some of the condensation.  I slip on my underwear and shorts, quickly wrapping my towel around my wet hair.  I have to hop around a little bit to get the strap on my bra to clasp, because I’m odd and for some reason when I hop around, my bra magically links around the back.  I end up facing the mirror, now nearly cleared of any steam.

 

I’m about to reach down for my tee when the green-yellow of my bruise catches my eye.  There it is, still staring me in the face - a reminder of what my father has done to me.  My limp hands fall to my sides and I see my face drop noticeably.  _Snap out of it, Maci.  The pain is all over._

 

What was that just now?  My bully side - my other personality?  Were those words of encouragement?  Meeting Niall really _has_ had an impact on me.

 

I do as my mind tells me.  I ignore the fading bruise and slip on my tee.  Flicking off the fan, I take the towel down from my hair and brush my teeth.  The cooler air of the hotel room swooshes by me as I open the door with my dirty clothes and towel.

 

Niall is still in the same position as I left him, and I quietly zip up my duffel and fold my dirty clothing.  I have to remember to give the outfit back to Caroline - it was so nice of her to let me use it.  I toss it over to the dirty pile and quietly pad over to Niall’s bed.

 

His arm wraps around me as I lay down and I use his chest as a pillow.  He plays with the ends of my wet hair as our breathing syncs, neither of us speaking.  I’m just about to drift off to sleep when his voice momentarily rouses me.

 

“You have a lovely voice,” he says nonchalantly.  My face turns red as I think about him listening to me sing - while in the _shower_ no less!

 

“I guess,” I say quietly.

 

“You really do, Love.  A lovely voice indeed.”

 

I nod my head, not really having the energy to reply.  Niall wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me closer and only wanting to make me fall asleep more.  His warmth is very soothing, and I suddenly wish to be able to stay in his arms forever.

 

“I love you,” he says simply, but I sense so much emotion behind it.

 

“I love you too,” I whisper, trying to put the same amount of meaning into it as I can while being this tired.  My eyes grow impossibly hard to keep open, so I give in, vaguely remembering Niall’s lips against mine as I drift off into a much-needed sleep.

 

 

 

***********************TIME LAPSE - SKIP TO DAY THEY LEAVE MIAMI**********************

 

<http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_12/set?id=68714581> 

 

“Get your stuff loaded up, boys!” Paul yells through the door.  “It’s three o’clock, let’s go!  We’re leaving in five minutes!”

 

“Piss off, Paul,” Zayn grumbles, chucking his pillow at the door.

 

Niall and I are currently packing up the last of our belongings, while Zayn is still in bed.  Burrowing himself under the covers, he groans.

 

“Just get up,” Niall says, rolling his eyes.  “I don’t even know how you’re not awake yet, it’s bloody three o’clock in the afternoon!”

 

“Nooo,” Zayn moans.  “It’s too warm in here.”

 

“If you don’t get up now,” Paul snaps.  “I swear I will march in there and chop off all of your hair and feed it to the crazy girls waiting outside the hotel right now.”

 

Niall and I burst out laughing when Zayn’s head shoots up, true fear in his eyes.  “God no!” he shouts, throwing the covers off and shooting into the bathroom and slamming the door.  “Don’t come in until my hair looks presentable,” he says, his voice muffled.  “It looks terrible!”

 

Paul just heaves a sigh and rolls his eyes.  “Lou and Caroline are already on the road.  If you’re not out there in three minutes,” he says, turning to Niall and I.  “I’m sending Liam up.  And if pretty boy here-” he jabs a finger at the door “-isn’t out in two, I give you full permission to shave his head.”

 

“I HEARD THAT!” Zayn snaps.

 

This makes Niall and I laugh harder, and Paul heads out the door.  I turn and skip into the room, zipping up the last bit of my duffel.  I have gotten so comfortable with the boys in the week and a half that I’ve known them.  Louis is the comedian, Liam is the mature one (most of the time, anyway), Harry is the flirt (although he has his blonde moments), Zayn is the ‘Pretty Boy’, like Paul had called him (but also a softie), and Niall - well, Niall is amazing.

 

I stand up from my crouch and feel Niall’s arms wrap around my waist.  He buries his face in my neck, sending warm tingles through my body.

 

“Well hello there,” I joke, resting my hands on his, clasped around my midsection.

 

“Hi,” he mumbles, bringing his head up to kiss my cheek, sending yet another good feeling through me.

 

I turn around in his arms, wrapping mine around his neck.  Niall kisses me gently.  “Are you all packed?” I ask, pulling away and teasing him a bit.  He steals a kiss.

 

“Yep,” he replies simply, leaning in again.

 

I pull away at the last second and pretend to think for a bit.  “What is the bus like?”

 

“You’ll see in about a minute,” he mumbles, leaning in again.

 

“Okay,” I say, dodging him again.  “Then we should get down there.”

 

“Not right now,” Niall whines, tightening his grip on me.  He leans in _again_.

 

“We have to get Zayn out of the bathroom,” I say simply, smiling and trying to pull away.

 

“Just let me kiss you already!” he grumbles.

 

I pretend to be surprised.  “Oh, I’m sorry!  I didn’t know!”

 

He rolls his eyes but smiles anyway.  “I love you.”  Niall leans in and this time I let him kiss me, but not for long. 

 

“I love you too,” I say, smiling.  “Let’s get him out of there before we have to shave his head.”

 

Niall groans but agrees, releasing me.  I walk over to the bathroom door and stand there for a minute, listening to the sound of a hairspray can.  I roll my eyes and knock on the door.

 

“I’m not done!” he cries as I open the door.

 

“It looks fine,” I tell him.  “Now we have to go, or Paul is going to shave your head.

 

His eyes go wide and he snaps the lid back on the can.  “I’m ready,” he says quickly, gathering all of his products in his arms.

 

Zayn brushes past me and out into the room, tossing the last of his stuff into his large suitcase.  I walk out of the bathroom as Niall approaches the door, carrying both of our bags.  I reach out to grab mine but he turns away so I can’t reach it and heads out the door.

 

“Oh no you don’t!” I say, practically diving after him and latching onto my duffel’s strap.  He laughs as I pull it from his hands and sling it around my shoulder.  I turn back to the room and stick my head in the door.

 

“Zayn!” I call, not seeing him out in the open room.  Then I catch the faint sound of a hairspray can.

 

I heave a sigh and push my way into the room and throw open the bathroom door.  Sure enough, there Zayn is, fixing his already quiffed hair.  I roll my eyes and grab his arm, pulling him out of the bathroom.  He lets out a frustrated noise as I shove his suitcase at him and prod him out the door.

 

“You’ll be thanking me later,” I say sweetly.  “You’d have no hair to fix if  I hadn’t pulled you out of there.”

 

Zayn lets out a squeak and continues down the hall.  Niall slows his paces with mine, snaking his free arm around my waist.  I lean into him a little and we pile into the elevator.  The doors open on the first floor and I already can hear the screams from the hundreds of girls awaiting the boys.

 

Niall and Zayn both groan and I elbow Niall’s side.  “They’re your fans,” I said quietly as we walked out the door, the screams only getting louder.

 

I see that the hotel staff are attempting to hold back the girls, but I can tell that they are struggling.  The girls hold signs and wear shirts with every kind of saying imaginable, but all of them nice.  Some girls are in tears while others stand speechless, just taking in the sight of the three of us as we walk to the waiting tour bus.  We’re about halfway across the lot when Niall speaks again.

 

“I know,” Niall says, “and we love them.  But sometimes they just-”

 

“-Need to cool off,” Zayn finishes for him.  Niall huffs in agreement and I roll my eyes.

 

“Oh, come on,” I say playfully.  “They can’t be that ba-”

 

The next thing I know, my head is being yanked back, pulling me to the ground.  I let out a cry as my knees painfully smack the concrete and I can practically feel the skin being scraped off of them. 

 

“ _BITCH!”_ I hear a girl scream - right behind me.  “ _HE’S MINE!”_

 

The rest all just happens in a blur.  The girl is yanked away, but I let out a pained yelp as her fist closes around a lock of my hair.  Niall starts shouting things I can’t understand and I feel most of the tugging on my hair cease, but my eyes prick when one final pull takes out several strands of it.  My hands fly to my head, cradling the stinging spot where my hair had been torn from.  My duffle had fallen to the ground, and Zayn swoops it up, running for the bus.  Niall hoists me in his arms bridal style and sprints the rest of the way to the tour bus, quickly setting me down on the couch and shouting words at people.

 

Things finally start to slow down and I can feel the heat and stinging in my knees.  Bringing my hands down from my head, I take a glance at my knees.  They’re scraped badly, and bleeding like mad.  I groan as I think of how long it will take them to heal, and Niall starts to panic.

 

“Maci oh my God I’m so sorry she shouldn’t have gotten through that was just awful I can’t tell you how sorry I am what do you need what about some bandages, I’ll ask paul to get some bandages - oh my God, I’m so sorry-”

 

“-Niall!” I cut him off.  “Calm down, I’m fine.  I just have a couple scrapes.  It’s nothing serious.”

 

I’m telling the truth.  It really is just a couple of scrapes, nothing I haven’t dealt with before.  I think the most pain came from the words the girl had thrown at me.  She had called me that terrible name for no reason!  I don’t think I was doing anything wrong and...  Last I checked, I’m Niall’s girlfriend.  I don’t mean to be rude, but I think that means that Niall is... well, mine.

 

“But your knees and you head and-”

 

“-Niall,” I say, exasperated.  “Breathe.  I’m alright, really.  Can I just have a warms washcloth, a bandage, and a brush?”

 

“Of course,” Niall says hurriedly.  

 

He turns to Paul and Liam and tells them what I need, quickly coming back to my side.  He sits on the couch next to me, pulling me into his lap and gripping my waist tightly.  Maybe even a little too tightly, because my stomach starts to pang, reminding me of the bruise still covering it.

 

“Niall,” I say quietly, making him loosen his arms from around me.  “Calm down.  Really, I’m fine.”

 

“I’m so sorry,” he mumbles, burying his face in my neck.  “That girl is insane.  I am most definitely _not_ hers, and she shouldn’t have hurt you like that.”

 

“I know, Nialler,” I say, kissing his cheek and patting the back of his head.  “It’s really fine.  It’s not your fault, and you couldn’t control it.”

 

Liam comes back with the washcloth and I accept it gratefully.  He heads toward the back of the bus where Paul and the other boys are.  I dab at my right knee carefully and grimace when the all-to-familiar sting brings back unwanted memories.

 

 

_~*Flashback*~_

 

 

_“I told you not to touch that!” my father screams, ripping the power drill from my hands.  “You’re fucking fifteen, you would think by now you would be smart enough to listen to me!”_

 

_“I-I’m sorry,” I say weakly, looking down.  “But you told me to hang up the hooks, and I didn’t see a better option-”_

 

_Smack._

 

_This blow to my face sends me flying back onto the driveway and into the coolish night air.  A small light in my garage is on, but it provides little light.  Sadly, I don’t need the light to see my father’s murderous glare._

 

_“Don’t.  Touch.  My.  Tools,” he growls, taking a step toward me with each word._

 

_“I’m sorry,” I say meekly, looking at the ground.  “It won’t happen again.  I’m sorry.”_

 

_“Damn right it won’t,” he hisses, now standing in front of me._

 

_I nod.  “How will I get the hooks up in the garage, then?”_

 

_Within three seconds, I’m on the ground, my hands slightly - yet painfully - breaking my fall.  The sting appears immediately on my palms and on the back of my legs, but I don’t dare cry out._

 

_“Don’t bother,” my father growls, towering over me.  “You’ll just screw it up anyway, like you always do.”_

 

_And with that, my father turns and strides into the garage and into the house.  On his way in he presses the button to make the garage door close, locking me out completely._

 

_I’m forced to stay under the cover of the porch for the rest of the night.  My cuts probably get infected by many germs out in the open, going untreated for a whole night.  The next morning’s shower proves even more painful than the actual fall.  There was a stinging pain, along with a type of soreness and dryness to the wounds._

 

_It takes several weeks for the scabs to completely disappear without a trace._

 

 

_~*End Flashback*~_

 

 

“-Maci,” I hear someone say.  “Maci.  Maci!”

 

I snap out of the frozen state I’m in to find Niall, looking up worriedly at me.  “What - yes?”

 

“Are you okay?  What are you doing?”

 

“What?” I ask lackadaisically.  I shake most of the memory from my mind.

 

“You’ve got a death grip on your knee,” he explains, resting his hand on mine - and sure enough, my hand was grasped around my leg.

 

It clicks in my brain that this is causing me pain, and I withdraw my hand quickly.  “Sorry,” I mutter for no reason.

 

“You’ve said that four times now!” Niall worries.  “Are you sure you’re alright?”

 

“Yes, I’m fine,” I reply quietly, starting to dab at my bloody knee again.  I’m really fine.  I can take care of myself, and I’m not that hurt anyway.  I stifle the grimace threatening to appear on my face.

 

“Are you sure?” he asks again, putting a hand on my cheek and turning me to face him.

 

For some reason, this sets me off.  “I’m fine, Niall!” I suddenly snap, pushing his hand away and sliding away from him.

 

Hurt crosses his face along with shock.  I immediately regret what I’ve done and my face turns apologetic.  “I’m sorry,” I say quickly.  “I have no idea what that was.  I guess I’m just stressed.”  I look down at the floor of the bus.  “I’m sorry.”

 

“You’ve got to stop saying that,” Niall says, scooting over to me and pulling me into a hug.

 

“Okay,” I say simply, and he kisses the top of my head.

 

I can’t seem to get the last part of my memory out of my head.  That night had been one of the most difficult I had ever endured.  It wasn’t physical, it was all mental.  I hadn’t gotten one minute of sleep, in fear that I wasn’t safe outside.  Ahh, the irony.  It turns out I’m not safe anywhere.  Wait, did I just say that?  I didn’t mean it.  I’m safe with Niall.  But then again, I had just been attacked by a girl.  _No_.  I’m safe with Niall...  Right?

 

“Alright!” Paul exclaims, walking in the room and clapping his hands together - I’ll have time to think later.  “Let’s get this show on the road!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments to let me know how I'm doing? :)


	16. Chapter 16

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

 _What was that all about?_ I think as Maci doses off in my arms.  Maci had never been that angry with me - beside the time at her house, when she wanted me to leave.  Wait...  No.  I refuse to even think like that.  I love Maci, Maci loves me - that’s all there is to it.  Right?

 

I don’t have time to think before Louis plops down beside me.  The rest of the lads - including Paul - are in the back room playing Mario Kart.

 

“Let me just make one thing clear to you,” Louis says seriously.  I nod, curious what he has to say.  “We’ve all agreed,” he says, scratching his head.  “That there will be no... _fun on this bus._

 

“Wait, what?” I ask, confused.

 

Louis rolls his eyes.  “There.  Will.  Be.  No.  Sex.  On.  This.  Bus.” he says, careful not to wake her.

 

Okay, curiousness down a notch.  My face goes bright red and I glare at him.  “Go away, Louis,” I say quietly.

 

Louis laughs and puts his hands up.  “Just wanted to make it clear,” he said innocently, standing up and walking to the back room.

 

I roll my eyes.  _Oh boy_.  Thirteen hours on a bus with these boys?  I probably should have given Maci a better warning.  I look down at her sleeping figure.  She looks so delicate when she’s sleeping, but strong as well.  I brush back a stray piece of her hair and she smiles softly in her sleep.

 

This makes me smile.  I suddenly grow very tired and my eyelids start to droop.  Careful not to wake her, I readjust myself so she’s half laying on me, but still in my arms.  I lean my head against the armrest and shut my eyes, letting my mind carry me off any way it pleases.

 

 

 

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

_“This is so wonderful,” I say, biting into the chicken Niall hands me.  “Where did you get this?”_

 

_“It’s from Nandos,” he says with a chuckle.  “My favorite.”_

 

_“Well it might just have to be my favorite too,” I tell him honestly, making him laugh._

 

_I look around at the beautiful park we’re in and play with the edge of the plaid blanket we’re sitting on.  The whole scene is cliche, yet I love it anyway.  The tree overhead provides some shade from the powerful sun, and the smell of blooming flowers fills the air.  I set down the piece of chicken and wipe my hands off with a napkin._

 

_“I love you,” I tell him, and he takes my hand._

 

_“I lo-”_

 

_“Maci,” I hear someone growl behind me, and Niall’s face twists into one of confusion and anger._

 

_My stomach drops as I recognize the voice.  As if on cue, the whole sky darkens a shade and the soft wind stops blowing.  The smell of flowers disappears and is replaced by the smell of my own fear.  Oh God.  Oh no._

 

_I start to shake with fear, my stomach knotting like crazy.  Why is he here?  What does he want?_

 

_I release Niall’s hand and slowly turn as I stand, coming face to face with my father._

 

_“Dad,” I say, my voice shaking._

 

 

 

My eyes fly open.  It’s pitch black and I can’t see a thing, not help my pounding heart to slow down.  I don’t know where I am.  _Oh God._ My chest heaves and I try to sit up, but I can’t.  If it’s even possible, my heart speeds up and I start to sweat.  Something’s holding me down.  I feel around my waist and feel two arms.  Some _one_ is holding me down.

 

I let out a scream as I push against the person’s arms.  Whoever it is starts to stir, and I panic even more.

 

“Just let me go!” I shout, trying to push away.  I jab my elbow back and there’s an _oof!_ as the person’s arms loosen around me, allowing for my to slip out of their grasp.

 

I rocket to my feet, but the ground shifts beneath me and I tumble to the ground.  Soft carpet cushions my fall, but sends me into confusion.  _Where am I?_ My eyes still haven’t adjusted to the darkness, so I still have no idea what’s around me.

 

The person on the couch moans and stirs, and there’s a clambering behind me.  I start to whimper, my fear getting the best of me.  For all I know, I could be back with my father.  _My father..._

 

“Maci?” the person groans from the couch, their voice groggy and unrecognizable.

 

Suddenly a light flicks on, blinding me.  I go into a fetal position, burying my head into my knees.  “Please don’t hurt me,” I cry, my body shaking with fear.

 

“What the bloody hell is going on?” an angry and confused voice says.  It sounds familiar...

 

“What?  Maci?” the groggy voice from before says.

 

“Maci, are you alright?” the voice from behind me says.  I feel a hand on my shoulder and I lurch away, letting out another scream.

 

The ground shifts beneath me again and I sprawl out, my eyes opening, coming face to face with -

 

“-Zayn!?  Niall!?” I say, confused.

 

“Maci?  Are you okay?” Niall says worriedly, standing up from the couch.

 

“What?” I ask, shaking my head to clear it.  Niall and Zayn.  What?

 

That’s when it hits me.  I’m on the tour bus.  With Niall and Zayn and Liam and Harry and Louis and Paul.  We’re on our way to Louisville, Kentucky.  My father is at home - well, not my home anymore.  I’m away from him, for good.  Niall is my boyfriend, and I love him.  I’m safe.

 

“Maci,” Zayn says, rubbing his eyes.  “What’s going on?”

 

Niall hurries over, wrapping his arms around me.  “What’s the matter, Love?”

 

My dream comes rushing back into my mind.  I’m not sure why, but I’m shaken up noticeably.  The dream scares me more than I thought, and I begin to shudder, suddenly growing very cold.  Niall’s arms provide little warmth, but I burrow into him anyway.

 

“What happened, Maci?” Niall questions again.

 

“I-I-” I try to say, but I burst into tears for no reason.  

 

It was only a dream, why am I crying?  Still, the tears flow from my eyes and down my cheek, staining the sleeves of Niall’s shirt.  His arms tighten around me and Zayn lets out a long breath.  I don’t know how long I sit there crying, but soon my eyes grow droopy, beckoning me back to sleep.  I don’t want to, but my eyes close nonetheless.  I’m let back into a dreamless sleep with Niall whispering comforting words in my ear.

 

 

 

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

As soon as Maci is asleep I scoop her up and sit down on the couch, holding her like a small child.  Her head rests against my shoulder and her arms are tucked tightly against her sides by my arms wrapped around her waist.  Her breathing is still uneven and her face still shows so much discomfort.

 

“What was that all about?” Zayn asks hesitantly.  “Her screams woke me up.  I’m surprised no one else did.”

 

I shrug.  “I have absolutely no idea.  I’m still confused too.”

 

“That was worse than the last time,” he says simply, taking a seat at the table next to the couch.

 

At first I have no idea what he means.  _Last time...?_ Then I remember the nightmare she had the first night she stayed with us.  We haven’t told the lads about it and didn’t mention it to Maci either.

 

“She looked scared out of her skin,” I say, tightening my grip around her.  Her arms move and her hand grabs a portion of my shirt, making her look much younger.

 

“I wonder what she dreams about,” Zayn says, looking at her face.  “I’ve never seen anyone have nightmares like that.”

 

I shake my head.  “Neither have I.  I don’t even know what to do.  She wouldn’t wake up that first time, and it honestly scared me.  This time she woke up on her own, but it was like she was still in it.”

 

I rub my stomach where she had jabbed me to let her go.  Her screams still ring in my ears.  What had scared her so much?  She’s safe now.  I suppose it could be memories of her father...  But you would think that she would have had nightmares _while_ she was living with her father, too.  She hasn’t mentioned having nightmares, and I don’t really want to pry at her bad memories.

 

“What did her dad _do_ to her, Nialler?” Zayn asks quietly, looking at the ground.  “I mean, I’ve seen the bruises, but...  I haven’t heard the stories behind them. _”_

 

I sigh.  “Horrible things,” I say simply.  “He’s cut her, bruised her, and scarred her - both mentally and physically.  So much so,” I say, remembering back to the day of the interview, “that when I took her out after the interview, I had overreacted a little bit and...  She thought I was going to hit her.”

 

Zayn’s eyes widen.  “I can’t even imagine how hard that is for her to live with.  But why would she start having nightmares _now_?”

 

I shrug, looking down at Maci.  Her face softens a bit and she settles deeper into my arms.  “I have no idea.”

 

It’s quiet for a while, the only sound the tires of the bus on the highway.  It’s dark outside and I assume it’s the middle of the night, considering we fell asleep around three in the afternoon.

 

“What time is it?” I ask, searching the room for a clock.

 

“1:30,” Zayn replies with a sigh.  “I’m awake, how about you?”

 

“Awake as ever,” I say truthfully.

 

Zayn lets out a long breath and runs his hand through his flat hair.  “Wanna talk about it?”

 

“About what?” I say.

 

Zayn shrugs.  “About anything really.  Her, her dreams, music, the Derby, anything really.  You seem stressed.”

 

“I don’t even know what her dreams are about,” I say, my arms tightening around her again.  “I want to help her, but she doesn’t even remember the last one, and she was either too scared or too sad to talk about this one.”

 

“Judging by her screams, I’d say she was scared.”  I wince at the mention of the scream she’d woken me up with.  I’ve only ever heard that scream one other time - when her father was trying to do unspeakable things to her.  “I’m sure everything will all be fine,” Zayn continued quickly, trying to comfort me.

 

I shrug, trying to let it go.  Maci’s safe now, she’s away from her father.  No one here will hurt her, I’ll make sure of it.

 

“Up for a game of cards?” Zayn asks out of the blue.

 

I chuckle a little.  “What do you know how to play?”

 

“Nothing, really,” he says with a shrug.  “Could you teach me?”

 

I nod.  I carefully lay Maci down on the couch, not waking her.  Before I sit down at the table I grab a deck of cards from my bag.  Deciding what to teach Zayn is difficult.  Most of the games I know are somewhat difficult, and I don’t know Zayn as one to have a long attention span.  I think about this as I shuffle the deck, Zayn watching intently at the way my hands are moving.  I finally decide on the most simple game I know.

 

“Okay,” I say, dividing the deck into two.  “I’m going to teach you a game called ‘War’.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments to let me know how I'm doing? :)


	17. Chapter 17

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

 

“That’s not fair, though,” Zayn whines, slapping his three remaining cards on the table.  “You’re cheating!”

 

I roll my eyes.  “How can I cheat on a game of luck?”

 

“I don’t know,” he huffs.  “But you are anyway.”

 

I thump his forehead.  “Go to bed,” I tell him.  “It’s 2:30, and you’ve worked up a sweat trying to will yourself luck.”

 

“I’m not tired,” he says, but is cut off by a yawn.

 

“Yeah, and I’m not Irish,” I joke.  “Go to bed, we’ll probably get to the stadium in an hour anyway.”

 

“Whatever,” Zayn shrugs, getting up.  “Your loss.”  He slips into his bunk and a few minutes later his soft snores join the others.

 

I roll my eyes again and look over at Maci, still asleep on the couch.  I’m still trying to figure out what had happened earlier, with the whole dream thing.  Several theories are in my head, but most likely none of them are right.  My eyelids start to get heavy since there’s no one to talk to keep me up, and I decide it’s best if I sleep again for a while.

 

Without hesitating, I stand up and walk over to Maci.  I scoop he up in my arms and carry her back to my bunk.  Setting her in first, I flick off the light, making the bus go pitch black.  I slide in next to Maci, automatically wrapping my arms around her and burying my face in her neck.

 

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that your whole life,” I whisper.

 

“Don’t be,” she replies softly, nearly scaring me right out of my skin.

 

I pull her tighter against me and she sets a hand on the back of my head.  I place a soft kiss on her collar bone, feeling her return the favor on my forehead.

 

“I love you,” I whisper.  “So much.

 

“Thank you,” she says quietly.  “I love you too.”

 

With this I’m satisfied and allow myself to get lost in her scent, thinking of her beautiful face as a slowly slip into unconsciousness.

 

 

\---

 

 

I wake up to a blinding light in my eye.  I try to close my eyes, but I can’t.  It takes a few seconds, but my eyes finally adjust and lo and behold, there’s Louis, holding my eye open and looking at me like I’m a zoo animal.

 

“Louis,” I say quietly, swatting his hand away.  “Go away.  We’re trying to sleep,” hiss, gesturing to Maci.

 

“What did I tell you about sex on this bus?” he replies, poking a finger in my face.

 

“Not what I meant,” I say, flicking his nose and sliding the curtain shut.

 

I turn back over close my eyes, snuggling closer to Maci.  I just start to drift off again when Louis pulls the curtain back and screams, “WAKEY WAKEY, LITTLE LEPRECHAUN!” right in my ear.

 

I cringe and shut my eyes tight, while Maci jolts up and lets out a small scream.  Hugging her tightly, I pull her back down.  “It’s just Louis, Love.”  I turn over.  “Go away,” I growl at him.

 

“It actually is time to get up,” Liam says over Louis’ shoulder as he passes by.  “It’s 9:30, and I want breakfast.”

 

“Then go get breakfast,” I huff at him, again pulling the curtain shut.  “Let us sleep.”

 

“No sex on the bus while we’re gone!” Louis calls, his voice distant.  I hear the door slam soon after and sigh.

 

“Not what I meant,” I grumble, turning back over to Maci.

 

She rubs her eyes and lets out a long breath.  I don’t think she’s even awake enough to have heard what Louis said.  She snuggles up against me, her face in my chest and her arms wrapped around my neck.

 

“Good morning, Beautiful,” I mumble, kissing the top of her head.

 

“Morning,” she replies tiredly, her voice muffled by my shirt.

 

“Do you want anything to eat?” I ask.

 

“Not right now,” she whispers, and soon after the sound of her soft snores fill my bunk.

 

I play with the ends of her hair, twisting them around my fingers.  How did I get so lucky as to find a girl as perfect as Maci?  She’s everything I could ever want, and I don’t plan on losing her.  I pull back a little to watch her face.  Her eyelids flutter slightly, but she stays asleep.  I can’t believe this girl is _mine_.

 

I don’t know how long I sit there, just studying her face.  Watching someone sleep?  Not as creepy as it sounds.

 

I put my forehead against hers after a while and close my eyes, sucking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly.  I’m not that tired anymore, really.

 

She sleeps for the next half an hour, before I hear the bus door clatter open loudly.  Maci sucks in a deep breath and her eyelids flutter open.  I softly press my lips to her forehead.

 

“Good morning, Love,” I whisper.

 

She gives me a loopy smile and stretches.  “Morning, Nialler,” she replies, putting her arms around my neck.

 

“Niall, Maci!” Liam calls.  “We have food for you two!”

 

“Coming!” Maci calls groggily.

 

I smile softly at her and pull back the bunk’s curtain, letting in the morning light.  Rolling out of the bunk, I land on my feet and take Maci’s hand to help her down.  Harry and Louis are seated on the couch, Paul is talking to the driver, and Zayn and Liam hold what I presume to be boxes of mine and Maci’s food.  I lace my fingers through Maci’s and lead her into the main room of the bus, snagging our boxes on the way to the table.

 

She sits across from me and we open our boxes at the same time.  Maci’s eyes light up and a huge smile grows on her face.  “How did you guys know?” she laughs, shaking her head excitedly.

 

“Everybody loves crêpes,” Harry shrugs.

 

I look down in my box and see two strawberry crêpes - looking like the most delicious things I’ve ever seen. [<http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5p7pcyks61rwor41o1_400.jpg>]  Alongside it are two strips of bacon and a few scrambled eggs.  Up until now I hadn’t realized how hungry I really am.  Something like this must have shown on my face because Liam laughs and hands Maci and I some silverware and we dig in.

 

I scarf it down within a few minutes and lean back in the chair.  “Yummy,” I mumble, closing my eyes and stretching.

 

“I hope you’re filled up,” Paul says, turning back to us.  “No eating until after the show.”

 

“Whyyyy,” I whine, sticking out my lower lip.

 

Paul rolls his eyes.  “It’s been like that forever.  Nothing new, Niall.”

 

I humph and Paul swats my head on his way back to the TV room.  Maci lets out a small giggle and finishes the rest of her food.  I take our empty boxes and toss them in the trash.

 

“Soundcheck is at five,” Paul calls, pulling out a couple Wii ™ controllers and handing one to Liam and one to Zayn when they enter the room.

 

“What am I supposed to do for seven hours?” Louis whines, shoving his face in Harry’s shoulder.  Harry pats his head lightly as Louis groans.

 

“Come play Mario Kart © with us, Lou!” Zayn shouts.  “We’re about to get a tournament started!”

 

“Whatever,” Louis sighs, getting up.  “I’m going to whoop your arses anyway.”

 

“Oh, it’s one like Donkey Kong!” Liam says, an intent look on his face.

 

“I’ve got to see this,” Harry chuckles, standing up and making his way back.

 

I turn to Maci.  “I guess that leaves us,” I say.

 

“I guess so,” she replies, crossing her legs.  “What do you want to do for the next seven hours?  I’m good with anything.”

 

An idea pops into my head, and I smile.  “Go get dressed really fast.”

 

She raises an eyebrow but complies, snagging her duffel on the way back to the bathroom.  I hop over to my suitcase and throw different shorts and a t-shirt on, despite the teasing comments made by the lads.  Maci walks out of the bathroom two minutes later wearing this [<http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=69064218>].

 

“Now are you going to tell me what we’re doing?” she asks, her eyebrow raised again.

 

I smirk.  “Have you ever been blading?”

 

 

\---

 

 

“Niall, I can’t do this,” Maci whimpers, wobbling on the thin wheels of her roller-blades.

 

“Of course you can,” I say, helping her keep her balance.  I’m a lot steadier on my blades than she is, so I don’t have much trouble holding her up.

 

“I’m going to fall _again_ ,” she complains, latching her arms over my shoulder.

 

Other people in the rink skate past us easily, since we’re moving at a snail’s pace.  I wear a beanie and sun glasses even though we’re indoors to keep from getting recognized, and so far it’s working - no one has stopped us at all.  There at least one hundred people here, though, most of them girls.  This makes me a bit nervous, especially because of what happened with that one girl yesterday.

 

“Gahh!” Maci shouts as one of her feet slides out from under her.

 

Her hands slip from my shoulder and I try to catch her fall, but she’s all the way to the ground before I can do anything.  She’s sitting flat on her bum, her legs making a ‘V’.  I try to hold my laugh in, but it slips out and makes her stare up at me, looking annoyed.

 

“You think this is funny?” she accuses, gesturing to herself.

 

“Quite amusing,” I reply, standing in front of her.

 

She lightly pounds the floor with her fists.  “Just please help me up,” she sighs, exasperated.

 

“You’ll get it,” I promise, taking her hands and hoisting her up.

 

“It’s already been an hour, and I’ve made absolutely no progress.”  She holds tightly onto my right hand, gripping my bicep with her other.  “I told you I’d be horrible at it, and I meant it.”

 

“Rubbish!” I shout, attracting the attention of a few people close by.  I quickly look down to avoid any unwanted stares.  “You’ll get it,” I say much quieter.  “I know you can.”

 

“I’d be surprised if I ever got to the point where I could let go of you,” she breathes.

 

“I wouldn’t mind if you never let go,” I say with a smile.

 

Maci looks up and gives me the most adorable smile ever, squeezing my hand.  I place a quick kiss on her lips before pulling away from her completely.

 

“Niall!” she panics, her arms waving helplessly away from her body.

 

“You can do it!” I chuckle, skating in circles around her.  “Have you ever walked in your kitchen with slippery socks on?”

 

“No,” she says quickly, bending over abruptly to keep herself from falling backward.

 

I roll my eyes.  “Well you’ve just got to slide into your step.  Observe,” I say in a posh accent.

 

I take off around the rink - ignoring her yelp of protest - and finish the lap we hadn’t even done in an hour.  It’s a big rink, but it still shouldn’t take more than maybe five minutes at most to get around.  I laugh lightly.  At least she’s trying.  This activity is proving more entertaining than most I’ve ever taken part in.

 

Circling back around to meet Maci - who had only moved maybe five inches - I see that she is studying the way my feet are moving.  I slow to a stop beside her with a smirk.

 

“Ready to try it now?” I ask, taking ahold of her hand before she has a chance to answer.

 

“No Ni- Oh God!” she exclaims as I tug her along.

 

Her feet struggle to keep themselves under her and she has a death grip on my hand.  She lets out a small shriek as she tips backward slightly, but I pull her along more and she rights herself.  We get about twenty feet from where we started and I can feel her start to naturally balance her body.

 

“See?” I say, looking at her.  “Not as hard as you make it out to be.”

 

“I guess…” she trails off, watching her feet below her.

 

It’s silent for the next five minutes.  Maci concentrates hard on keeping her feet in line, copying my movements nearly perfectly.  After a little, she starts to loosen her grip on my hand and skate more on her own.

 

“You’ve got it!” I say enthusiastically, letting go of her hand and throwing my arms up in achievement.

 

“Nope!” she says quickly, pulling my arm back down and resuming her grip on my hand.  “Not ready to go on my own just yet,” she says with a wink.

 

I smile down at her and we continue skating hand in hand for at least the next hour or so.  By then Maci can keep her balance on her own and we make it around the rink in about two minutes.  Just for the sake of showing off, I start doing tricks for her.  She groans as I start skating backward.

 

“First of all,” she complains.  “That’s showing off to rookies.  Second, you’re going to hurt yourself!”

 

I wave her off, falling back beside her and skating normally again.  “I’m an experienced skater,” I brag, puffing out my chest and holding my head high.

 

She laughs and takes my hand.  “And a show off,” she says quietly up at me.

 

“But I’m a cute show off,” I say as I lean in and quickly peck her lips.

 

“Very,” she agrees with that adorable smile of hers.

 

“Ugghnnn!” I groan as something slams into me from behind, wiping my smile off of my face.  I clamber to the floor, seeing my beanie and sunglasses take a spill too.

 

“Ohmigawd!” a girl squeaks, turning around.  “I’m so sorry, I was skating backward and I didn’t mean-”  The girl immediately stops as I turn around and pick myself off of the ground.

 

“Y-you’re - you’re _Niall Horan!_ ” she squeals loudly, a crazed grin on her face.

 

My eyes go wide as I realize that she recognizes me.  Maci and I exchange a glance she mouths ‘ _let’s go_ ’.  But it’s too late - several girls have already stopped, looking at us like we’re under a microscope.  Pretty soon most of the people on the rink are stopping and staring with either open mouths or giant grins.

 

You know that scene in _Finding Nemo_ where Marlin and Dori are talking to the pelican and Marlin is trying to get away because he thinks he’s going to be eaten by the pelican?  Then he hops out onto a section of the dock with all the ‘mine’ birds and they just stare blankly at him and it gets really awkward?

 

Yeah, that’s what this feels like.

 

And then the part right after that where all the sudden the birds just start screaming ‘mine’ and flock after them like no other?

 

Yeah, that’s what this _is_ like.

 

As soon as I start coasting for the exit, the silence is broken by ear-piercing screams.  Then the girls start making a break for me as fast as they can.  I’ve barely just nudged Maci and I out of the gate before the mess of girls hits against the barrier of the rink.  Thank God they have to slow down to get through the small gate to exit the rink.

 

Maci and I throw off our skates and toss them to the understanding man behind the counter.  We don’t even bother with our shoes before bolting out the door and into the busy streets of Louisville.  I tug on my beanie and sunglasses before sprinting down the block with Maci.

 

 

\---

 

 

Our breathing heavy, Maci and I dive into a cab we manage to hail.  I quickly tell him the address of the concert hall and he peels away from the curb, leaving a couple dozen girls behind.

 

“I don’t,” I say between breaths.   “Know why…  I thought that…  Blading in public…  Was a good idea.”

 

Maci laughs breathlessly and nods her head.  “I don’t…  Mind too much.”  She looks down at her feet.  “We left…  Our shoes, though.”

 

I look down at my feet as well, only covered by thin socks.  It’s quiet for a moment as she does the same.  We look up at each other at the same time then, and burst out laughing.  We’re still trying to catch our breath, so I’m assuming we kind of look like suffocating seals, clapping our hands together and making strangled noises as we clutch our stomachs and gasp for air.  Judging from the look the cab driver gives us in the mirror, we must be a pretty amusing sight.

 

It takes a while for us to finally calm down and Maci sprawls out across the seats, laying her head in my lap.  She closes her eyes and breathes in deeply as I stroke her hair.

 

“That was fun,” she sighs, taking her hand in mine and tracing circles on it with her thumb.

 

“The mob and everything?”

 

She giggles.  “The mob and everything.”

 

 

 

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

I collapse on the empty couch when Niall and I burst through the tour bus door.  The other boys’ shouts carry throughout the bus, the words all a jumbled mess - something about Donkey Kong and eating Harry’s bananas.  I’m seriously tired - I could use a nap.

 

“Oh, come on now,” Niall teases, flicking my nose.  “Make room.”

 

I roll my eyes and sit up, hugging my knees.  As soon as Niall sits down, I lean back and rest my head in his lap.  He automatically starts playing with my hair, making me increasingly more tired.

 

“What time is it?” I mumble, closing my eyes.

 

“Time for you to get a watch,” Louis says, walking past the couch and opening the small fridge’s door.  He digs around for a few seconds before selecting a Pepsi can and walking back to the back room.

 

“It’s one o’clock,” Niall says, checking his phone.

 

“Mmm.”

 

“Don’t worry, you can doze if you want,” he says, shifting so I’m leaning against his chest and his arms are around my waist.  “We have to be at soundcheck at five, and we’re parked just outside the concert hall.”

 

I nod and relax into him.  Before I know it, I’m drifting off into sleep.

 

 

\---

 

 

 

 

 

I wake up to the feeling of someone’s lips on mine.  I’m startled at first, but when I open my eyes I’m greeted by Niall’s handsome face, and I happily kiss him back.  He pulls away smiling, taking my hand in his.  I notice we’re still in the same position that I fell asleep in.

 

“Time to get up, Love,” Niall says soothingly.

 

I stretch out slowly and suck in a deep breath.  Niall places another quick kiss on my lips before I get up.

 

“I’m going to change quickly,” I tell him, dashing over to my duffel and into the bathroom.  I come out wearing this [<http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=69065982>] and he smiles.

 

“Ready to go?” he asks, holding out his arm.

 

I take it and he leads out of the bus and into the evening air.  The walk to the concert hall entrance is short - maybe fifty feet?  It’s really convenient.  We follow Paul and the boys into their dressing room,  where Lou and Caroline are waiting.  They immediately wave the boys off.

 

“We’ll take care of them after sound check,” Lou states.  Paul nods and starts to usher the boys out of the room.

 

“I’ll be back in a bit,” Niall says quietly, pecking my lips.  “I love you.”

 

I give him a smile.  “I love you too.”

 

With that he squeezes my hand once and walks out the door with the rest of the boys.  I walk over and take a seat on the couch, not wanting to interrupt Lou’s and Caroline conversation.  Letting my mind wander, I look around the room.  Clothing racks line the far wall, boxes of different brands and styles of shoes sitting below them; several counters and mirrors line the wall nearest me, and makeup clutters the counters.  Several different hair products are spread out across a small table next to one of five chairs, along with a blow dryer and several different sized combs.

 

“Maci?” Caroline’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

 

“Yes?” I ask, turning myself to face her.

 

“Time to put your outfit on.”

 

I furrow my eyebrows.  “But I’m not performing,” I say.

 

Caroline chuckles and rolls her eyes.  “That doesn’t mean you can’t look nice!  Plus,” she adds, “it’s kind of nice to get to dress a girl up for once, and not five unwilling boys.”

 

I give her a small smile.  “You don’t have to let me borrow any outfits,” I say.

 

Caroline shakes her head.  “I’m not letting you borrow them.  You’re keeping them.”

 

My eyes widen and both Lou and Caroline chuckle.  “I can’t ask you for that,” I say quickly, fidgeting a little.

 

“You don’t have to ask for it,” Lou replies, walking over.  She takes both of my hands and pulls me to my feet.

 

“Consider it our ‘Welcome to the One Direction Crew’ gift,” Caroline says as she picks up a bag and walks over.

 

I shake my head.  “You really don’t have to.”

 

“We want to,” they reply together.

 

I sigh, reluctantly taking the bag.  “Thank you,” I tell them, walking over to the bathroom and closing the door.

 

I wish people wouldn’t feel obligated to do anything for me.  Do they not understand that just letting me _be_ here is enough?  I let out another sigh as I start to undo the belt on my shorts.  I do admit though, I’m curious to see what Caroline has picked out for me.

 

I take a peek in the bag and smile.  The outfit mixes my favorite colors.  I quickly undress the rest of myself and tug on the outfit.  It’s quite comfortable, and I do love the shoes.  I turn to admire the outfit in the mirror, and smile to myself as I read the shirt.  The whole thing is just really cute.  [<http://www.polyvore.com/untitled/set?id=66811543>]

 

I step out of the bathroom and find wide grins plastered to their faces.  “What do you think?” Caroline asks, clasping her hands together.

 

“It’s really cute,” I reply.

 

“Well, you are too,” Lou replies.  “So it fits perfectly.”

 

My cheeks get hot and I look down at my feet.  “I do really love those shorts!” Caroline muses.  “And that shirt - Niall will like it.”

 

My cheeks burn warmer and I continue to stare at my feet.  There’s some scuffling, but I don’t look up until Lou calls my name.

 

“Maci,” she says, and I bring my gaze to her.  “Come here, lets do your hair.”

 

“Oh,” I say, bringing my hands up to tighten my ponytail.  That’s alright, you don’t ha-”

 

“Don’t give me that,” Lou interrupts, rolling her eyes.  “I have nothing to do right now anyway, so you’re going to sit down for a few minutes to I can curl your hair.”

 

My eyes widen and I nod my head, making my way over to her.  I plop down in the chair in front of her and she immediately undoes my ponytail, sweeping up a layer of my hair in a clip.  It’s quiet for a while as she curls my hair, Caroline on her phone and me watching in fascination at how fast and easy Lou can get a good curl.  By the time she’s pulling the iron out of the last piece of hair still left to curl on my head, the boys clamber into the room.

 

Caroline immediately hops up, handing each of the boys a box and a pair of shoes to change into.  I stand up as Niall walks over and places a soft kiss on my lips, lingering a bit before Caroline ends up throwing Niall’s box of clothing at him.  He grunts and chuckles, giving me one last peck on the cheek before going to the middle of the room to change with the rest of the boys.

 

“Thanks, Lou,” I say, turning to face her.

 

“Any time,” she beams, adjusting one last part of hair on my head.  “I’d much rather be doing your hair than theirs,” she jabs a finger at the five boys in the room and I chuckle.

 

I go to sit down on the couch, pulling my phone out to check for any messages.  Wait, why am I checking for messages?  Nearly all of my contacts are in this room, the exception being my father.  _Why do I still have his number?_ They answer is that I can’t bring myself to erasing it.  I had deleted my boss’s number when I quit my job. _Just put the phone away, Maci_.  I listen to my head and shove the phone deep down into my pocket.

 

By now, the boys are already dressed and making their way over to the chairs.  Lou moves quickly down the line, adding foundation here, powder there, and spraying hairspray in extreme amounts over their heads.  By the time she’s done, I think I could ramp off of Zayn’s hair with a skateboard, it’s so up and sturdy.

 

“Showtime in five,” Paul says as he opens the door.  I can hear the muted noise of an excited crowd through the door.

 

The boys let out a chorus of ‘okay’s and Niall walks over to snake him arm around my waist.  “I like your shirt,” he says quietly, his other arm snaking around my waist on the other side.  “Have you ever been to a concert before?” he asks, looking slightly down at me.

 

“Nope,” I answer.  I nod my head at the door.  “I can tell they’re loud, though.”

 

Niall chuckles.  “V _ery_.”

 

 

\---

 

 

Half of the concert has already happened.  They boys’ costumes changes went well, but I had had to give Zayn a little help.  Now it’s the Twitter part, where fans can tweet stuff to the boys and they’ll read it out to everyone.  I lose interest quickly, most of the questions being answered with familiar answers.  One tweet has me listening in, though.

 

“This tweet is from @AnthonyTramell42,” Harry reads.  They find him out in the audience, and Harry reads the rest of the tweet.  “Niall - I’ve seen your girlfriend.  She’s really hot.”

 

This sets off loud laughter between the fans.  My cheeks burn as a whoop sounds from the back, and I’m pretty sure Niall is in the same state.  I look up and his fists are clenched, his eyebrows drawn together.

 

“I like to think so,” Niall says slowly through clenched teeth.  “She’s an amazing girl.”  Niall takes a deep breath and steps back a little, allowing for Louis to push to the front of the stage.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Louis announces, pointing his finger all around the room.  “That was Niall Horan speak for, ‘Paws Off!’”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments to let me know how I'm doing? :)


	18. Chapter 18

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

***********************THE NEXT DAY*********************

 

<http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=69158353>

 

“We’ve been driving for _hours_ ,” Harry groans, flopping down on the couch next to me.  I chuckle and nudge his head softly with my foot.

“It’s only been an hour and a half,” Niall says, rolling his eyes.

“Just calm down,” Paul grumbles from his bunk.  “We’ll be in Chicago in three hours.”

“Three hours?” Niall asks, sounding panicked.  “I don’t think my mix will last that long!”

He looks down at the bag of Chex Mix that we had seen in a shopping mart after the show.  I had told him it’s good, and he didn’t even hesitate in buying it to snack on.  The bag is nearly half gone, and he’s only had it open since about ten minutes ago.

“You’ll just have to eat slower,” I say, cuddling into him and closing my eyes.

I don’t know why, but I’m still seriously tired.  I had originally thought that it’s from blading yesterday, added to the run from the girls - but even a four hour nap and a full night’s rest hasn’t satisfied the tired part of me.  Maybe I’m getting a cold?  I can’t be certain on anything.  The only answer is to sleep until I’m not tired, I guess.

“I think I’m going to take a nap,” I say, taking my head off of Niall’s shoulder.  His arms stay around my hips and he looks at me questioningly.

“You’ve been sleeping a lot lately,” he says, giving my waist a tight squeeze.  “Are you catching something?”

I shrug.  “I don’t know.  I guess only time will tell.  But for now, I’m going to sleep.”

He nods reluctantly and lets go.  Niall’s face is still worried, so I lean in to give him a lingering kiss.  My cheeks go hot as Louis coughs awkwardly and I pull away to see a smiling Niall.

“I’m alright,” I tell him, flashing him a smile.  

With that, I turn and make my way to Niall’s bunk, sliding in and pulling the covers up around me.  I close the curtain and breath in his scent that envelopes the blankets, comforting me.  Resting my head back on the soft pillow, I close my eyes.  Suddenly, I’m brought out of my near-sleeping state by Louis’ obnoxious, mocking shout.

“THERE WILL BE NO S-”

“I get it!” Niall exclaims back, shutting Louis up.  The boys all start laughing and I try to tune them out, turning to face the wall.

I hear the curtain swoosh open and a little light comes in, but it still kind of hurts my eyes.  I feel a pressure on the mattress behind me  and the curtain closes again, putting whoever it is and I in the previous darkness.  A pair of arms wrap around my waist and I smile to myself, knowing who it is right away.

“Come to join me?” I ask, scooting into him so my back is pressed to his chest.

“Only if you’ll let me,” he whispers in my ear, and I stifle a shiver.

“Of course,” I reply, feeling his lips press to the spot right behind my ear.

My hand reaches to grip his, lacing our fingers together.  I let out a deep breath as his lips press into the side of my jaw, then the back of my neck.  His thumb traces swirls on the part of my bare stomach where my shirt has ridden up a bit.  I close my eyes, but I can’t stop thinking about his lips trailing gentle kisses up and down my jaw and neck. My eyes still closed, I turn my head to face his and he doesn’t hesitate in pressing a kiss to my lips.

“You know,” I say once he pulls away.  “If you keep doing this, there’s no way I’ll be able to fall asleep.”

He chuckles and hugs me tighter to his chest.  “I’m sorry, Love.  Go to bed.”

I smile at him and peck his lips before turning my head back around.  My mind drifts and I can feel myself about to fall asleep when his lips press to my ear.

“Niall,” I grumble, lightly pushing his face away.

“Sorry Love,” he chuckles, pulling me even closer to him.  “Rest now.  I love you.”

I smile and curl into him.  “I love you too,” I whisper back, and finally sleep comes for me.

 

 

\---

 

 

_“This is so wonderful,” I say, biting into the chicken Niall hands me.  “Where did you get this?”_

_“It’s from Nandos,” he says with a chuckle.  “My favorite.”_

_“Well it might just have to be my favorite too,” I tell him honestly, making him chuckle._

_I look around at the beautiful park we’re in and play with the edge of the plaid blanket we’re sitting on._

_Wait…  I’ve seen this before._

_The whole scene is cliche, yet I love it anyway.  The tree overhead provides some shade from the powerful sun, and the smell of blooming flowers fills the air._

_Something’s not right.  This has happened before._

_I set down the piece of chicken and wipe my hands off with a napkin._

_“I love you,” I tell him, and he takes my hand._

_“I lo-”_

_“Maci,” I hear someone growl behind me, and Niall’s face twists into one of confusion and anger._

_My stomach drops as I recognize the voice.  As if on cue, the whole sky darkens a shade and the soft wind stops blowing.  The smell of flowers disappears and is replaced by the smell of my own fear.  Oh God.  Oh no._

_Not again._

_I start to shake with fear, my stomach knotting like crazy.  Why is he here?  What does he want?_

_I release Niall’s hand and slowly turn as I stand, coming face to face with my father._

_“Dad,” I say, my voice shaking._

_Only much, much worse._

_I take in his tall form.  It feels like he’s gained six inches, now towering a full foot above me.  He’s wearing all black, only making his aura darker.  I don’t smell any alcohol from him - that means he’s sober.  Usually when he’s sober he apologizes, but I sense no sign of remorse in the way he’s glaring at me._

_“He doesn’t love you,” my father snarls, taking a step closer._

_I stumble back a bit.  This feels like a dagger in my chest.  I know my father is wrong.  Niall loves me.  He’s here for me, whenever I need him.  I tell myself this over and over, finally feeling some of the emotional pain slip away._

_“You’re wrong,” I say flatly.  I spin around and reach for Niall’s hand._

_Only he’s not there._

 

 

 

 

I wake with a start, my body shooting up.  I let out a pained gasp as my head hits the ceiling of the bunk, and my eyes prick.  It’s dark inside the bunk, and my eyes aren’t yet adjusted to the darkness.  In a panic, I reach out beside me for Niall.

My hand only fists cold sheets.

My chest heaves and my eyes prick more.  I’m scared and I feel alone - a feeling I haven’t even come close to forgetting yet.  But for some reason, I’m not surprised.  Maybe my dream was a foretelling of something?  I shake my head to clear it.  _No._   Niall loves me, but he’s just not here right now.  He’s not gone forever - just for now.

Yet I find myself curing into a ball, hugging my knees.  I proceed to let the tears flow from my eyes, strangled sobs coming with them.  My shoulders tremble and I embrace the feeling of being alone, in a dark room, wallowing in Niall’s absence.

Suddenly, I hear the curtain fly open and instantly someone’s arms are around me.  Still somewhat shake from my dream, I cry out - not knowing who is it.  My eyes still closed, I push them away, cowering in the corner of the bunk.

“Maci,” they say.

“Leave me alone!” I cry.  “Just leave me alone, like I’ve always been!”

The mattress shifts beneath me and a yelp as their arms are around me again.  I don’t want to be hurt.  I’m already wounded enough.

“Maci, I’ll never leave you alone.”

My eyes snap open at the welcoming tone in his voice.  There’s Niall, staring at me with worried eyes, his arms wrapped around me.  It takes quite a while for me to register it - but Niall is here with me, comforting me as a cry about something that never happened.

“Oh my God,” I sob, more tears flowing down my cheeks.  “I’m so sorry, I didn’t-”

“-I know,” he says, pulling me closer and stroking my hair - something I’ve become very fond of.

“I-I-”

“Shh,” he cuts me off, hugging me tighter.  “Don’t talk.  Just let it out.”

For some reason, I do.  I bury my face in his shoulders and I’m sure that my muffled wails can be heard throughout the bus, but I don’t care.  The only thing that really matters to me right now is Niall’s arms wrapped around me, along with the realization that he will always be here.  He will never leave me alone.  Never.

 

 

 

 

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

I hold Maci for quite a while after she falls back asleep.  As much as I hate her falling asleep again, I know that she needs it.  But she had another dream - or rather, nightmare.  What’s causing this?  Obviously they’re about her father, but he’s gone now.  So what’s wrong?

I sigh and reluctantly unwrap my arms from around her.  She grimaces in her sleep and rolls over to face the wall.  I don’t want to leave her, but the lads will probably want an explanation.

 

 

_~Back up ten minutes~_

 

 

_After Maci falls asleep, I sit watching her for a while.  She’s just so beautiful.  I never want her to slip away from me.  I’m nearly convinced that I’ll take a nap with her before I hear several feet pound past the bunks and into the back room.  Poking my head out of the curtain, I give the lads a glare._

_“You’re going to wake her up,” I hiss._

_“Don’t get your knickers in a twist,” Louis rolls his eyes, plopping down on Harry’s lap.  Harry groans with Louis weight and Louis turns to his.  “You know you like it,” he says with a smirk._

_With that, Harry grimaces and shoves Louis off of him,making an even louder thump than they had running to the back._

_“Stop,” I hiss after I feel Maci shift next to me.  “She needs the rest.”_

_“Come play with us, Nialler,” Zayn says, gripping the controller Liam hands to him._

_“If it’ll get you to shut up,” I sigh.  I pull my head back in the curtain and carefully unwrap my arms from around Maci._

_She shifts noticeably and I wince, but relax when she doesn’t wake up.  I swiftly roll out of the bunk and pad softly to the back room, grabbing the Wii controller handed to me.  I sit next to Harry while Zayn pushes the game into the console and Liam clicks into Mario Kart.  Before I know it, I’m so into the game that I don’t even notice the lads trying to get my attention._

_“Niall.  Niall.  Niall!”_

_“Quiet!” I snap.  “You’ll wake Maci up!”_

_“Mate,” Zayn hisses.  “She already is!”_

_That’s when I hear the sobs coming from my bunk._

_“Shit,” I breathe.  I look back at the lads.  “Stay here,” I say as I dart from the room._

_I throw the curtain open and cringe at the sight of Maci.  She’s curled up into a ball, rocking back and forth against the wall.  My arms quickly find their way around her, pulling her close to me.  I wince as she yelps and shoves me away._

 

_“Maci,” I say, trying to get her to look up.  This is just like the last dream she had._

_“Leave me alone!_ ” _she cries.  “Just leave me alone, like I’ve always been!”_

_This feels like a serious blow to the gut.  I falter for only a moment, then I slide closer to her and wrap my arms around her again.  Maci yelps for a second time, only making the feeling in my gut grow worse._

_“Maci, I’ll never leave you alone,” I say with all the meaning I can put into words._

_Her eyes fly open in shock and she stares in confusion at me for a long time._

_“Oh my God,” she sobs, tears spilling from her eyes and down her cheeks.  “I’m so sorry, I didn’t-”_

_“-I know,” I interrupt, pulling her closer and stroking her hair._

_“I-I-”_

_“Shh,” I cut her off, hugging her tighter.  “Don’t talk.  Just let it out.”_

 

 

_~Present Time~_

 

 

“Wow,” Liam breathes, rubbing his hand through his hair.

“She must have had it horrible,” Harry sighs, shaking his head.

I nod and put my head in my hands.  “I just don’t know what to do,” I groan.

I feel Louis’ hand on my back and I look up at him with a thankful expression.  “She’ll get through it,” he assures.

I shrug.  “I’m afraid that if I don’t distract her enough from her past, she’ll be afraid of me.”  Did I really just say that?  I put my head in my hands again.  “When we got in a…  Disagreement at the restaurant a few weeks ago, I raised my voice - enough that she thought I was going to hit her.”  I wince at the memory.  “She loved her dad, whether she knows it or not.  I mean, he’s her _dad_.  But I just…  I don’t want her to think that love includes violence.  I don’t want her to think that loving each other means hurting her.”

 _Wow.  That was deep, Nialler._ I sigh at my own thoughts.  Louis rubs circles into my back, trying to soothe me.

“You don’t have to distract her,” Zayn says.  “Just…  Get her into something else.  Get her interested in something that she would love to do.”

I think about this for a moment.  Realizing that this is actually a great idea, I lift my head and stare blankly at the wall.  Running through things in my mind, I try to pinpoint a good idea in the jumbled mess.  There’s nothing that I’m really good at teaching these things…

Except one.

I turn to Zayn and thump him on the shoulder.  “You are a genius,” I tell him, standing up and shooting to the main room on our bus.

The edge of the case slightly protrudes from underneath the sofa.  I crouch down to pull it out and sit down on the sofa with it resting on my lap.  The lads pad in the room after me, obviously curious of what I have planned.  I flip the latches of the case open and grip the beautifully crafted neck in my hand.  I pull out the instrument and slide the case down to the floor.

Strumming a few chords, I check the tune.  A little flat - I fix it quickly with the tuning knobs.  I play a G chord, letting it ring quietly through the bus.  Paul snores loudly from his bunk, not hearing any of the interactions that had gone down.  Maci’s soft breathing joins Paul’s loudness and I close my eyes, playing the beginning chords to Ed Sheeran’s _The A Team_.  I sigh as I get into the chorus chords, feeling the wonderful notes clear my mind.

“You’re killing us, mate,” Liam speaks up.

I smile and look up at them, still playing the chords.  “I’m going to teach her how to play the guitar.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments to let me know how I'm doing? :)


	19. Chapter 19

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

*****************THE NEXT MORNING****************

 

 

“I can’t do this,” Maci whines, playing yet another weak Easy G.  “It sounds horrible.”

I chuckle to myself, helping her move her fingers to an F chord.  “You’ll get it,” I assure her, placing a quick kiss to her lips.  “It just takes some time.”

She tries to strum the chord, but the strings are muted.  “You’re not pushing down hard enough,” I say, pushing her fingers down more.  Maci winces but holds down the strings.  She strums and the chord sounds out, but just as weak as the Easy G.

“Owwie,” she breathes, pulling her fingers from the fret board and looking at the tips.

“I know,” I chuckle.  “It takes time for the callouses to develop.”  I take her hand and kiss each individual red finger-tip.  “You’ll get there,” I say enthusiastically, placing a kiss on her cheek.

Maci groans but places her hand back on the fret board.  She winces again as she pushes down on the tight strings and plays a better F chord.  Proud of herself for sounding clear, she smiles and giggles a little.

“See?” I tease.  “You’ve got it.”

Maci finally gets the hang of Easy G, F, and C.  I give her a small rhythm to play, and she strums it softly as I reach into my bag of Chex Mix, still half full from yesterday.  Maci masters the pattern easily and I smile warmly at her.

“Now all you’ve got to do is learn to strum in the right rhythms now, and you’ll be onstage by tonight!”

Instantly her eyes widen and her hand falls from the neck of the guitar.  “Uhh,” she says hesitantly.  “There’s no way I’m going to-”

“Just teasing, Love,” I say after cutting her off with a kiss to the lips.  “Now lets see about those new chords.

 

 

\---

 

 

“How long have you two been at this now?” Zayn grumbles, marching from the back room up to us.

I check my phone.  “About three hours now,” I say, sending him a polite smile.  Maci continues to strum the last few patterns I’ve given her, and I have to admit - it’s kind of adorable to see her do well at something that I love.

Zayn grabs a Pepsi from the fridge and grumbles the whole way to the back room, where the boys are playing Mario Kart.  Don’t ask me why we always play that.  I guess it’s just fun.

“Niall?” Maci asks.  I turn to her.  “Could you teach me how to play a real song?” she says shyly, fiddling with one of the strings.

“‘Course, Love,” I say.  She smiles and hands me the guitar.

I think for a moment, then place my hands on the fret board to play a D, then Dsus4, then a D and Dsus4 again.  Maci cocks her head to the side and smiles.

“I know this song,” she says quietly, listening to me go into the first verse’s chords.

I’m about to open my mouth to sing the words, but Maci beats me to it.

 

“ _All I knew this morning when I woke_

_Is I know something now, know something now_

_I didn’t before._

 

_And all I’ve seen since 18 hours ago_

_Is green eyes and freckles and your smile in_

_The back of my mind making me feel like_

 

_I just wanna know you better, know you better, better now._

_I just wanna know you better, know you better, better now._

_I just wanna know you better, know you better, better now._

_I just wanna know you better, know you better, better now_

_I just wanna know you, know you, know you.”_

 

I join in with the harmonies that Ed wrote, my voice mixing perfectly with Maci’s beautiful lead.  I switch from chord to chord with general ease, watching Maci’s face as she lets me sing Ed’s verse.

 

“ _And all my walls stood tall, painted blue._

_But I’ll take them down, take them down_

_And open up the door for you.”_

 

We continue throughout the whole song, trading between harmonies and leads.  

 

“ _Cause all I know is we said hello_

_And your eyes look like coming home_

_All I know is a simple name, everything has changed._

_All I know is you held the door,_

_You’ll be mine and I’ll be yours._

_All I know since yesterday, is everything has changed.”_

I nearly forget to strum the last chord to complete the song because I’m so lost in Maci’s voice.  It’s amazing, to say the least.  What she has is unique, I can’t believe that she hasn’t given a second thought to singing before.

I rest my eyes on Maci’s beautiful face, watching as she opens her eyes and takes a deep breath.  The corners of her mouth pull into a smile as she turns to face me.  I can’t even move.  I’m still in amazement at how wonderful her voice is.  The G chord rings out on the guitar and eventually stops.  Maci’s mouth pulls into a frown.

“Was it bad?” she says hurriedly.  “I’m sorry, I don’t sing in front of people often.  Maybe you boys should be the only ones singi-”

“-That was amazing,” Liam breathes, making both Maci and I jump.  She whirls around to see all four boys - and Paul - gathered in the doorway leading to our bunks.

Several sounds of agreement come from them and she tucks a lock of hair behind her ear.  Turning to me, I see her face is a deep shade of red.

“You have an amazing voice,” I say, still playing her voice over and over in my head.

She shrugs.  “I guess.”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Louis says, stepping into the room.

“My thoughts exactly,” I agree, setting the guitar aside and taking her hand.  I bring her hand to my lips and kiss the back of it gently.

By now her face is the deep shade of a tomato.  “Thank you,” she says quietly, hiding behind her hair.

Everyone kind of just sits in this awkward silence for a while, until Harry thankfully breaks it.

“Louis,” he says hurriedly.  “We’ve got to keep the lead, we’re whipping everyone’s bums!”

“Soundcheck in six hours boys,” Paul relays, looking at his phone.

“All the more reason to hurry!” Louis shouts.

With that, Louis squeals and darts to the back room, the rest of the boys following his lead.  I roll my eyes and turn back to Maci, squeezing her hand lightly.  “How about I teach you one of our songs?”

She looks up and smiles.  “Perfect.”

 

 

\---

 

 

“ _Baby, you light up my world_

_Like nobody else._

_The way that you flip your hair_

_Gets me overwhelmed._

_But when you smile at the ground_

_It ain’t hard to tell_

_You don’t kno-o-ow._

_You don’t know you’re beautiful._

_O-o-oh_

_That’s what makes you beautiful.”_

 

Maci lets the C chord carry out, humming the melody of the chorus again.

“So you’ve really never heard that song before?” I ask.

“Nope,” she shakes her head.

“Well you learned it quite fast,” I point out.  “You have a wonderful sense of music.  You learned to play a whole song on the guitar in under an hour, in addition to learning the lyrics and melodies in even less!”

She shrugs, but I can tell she’s holding back a smile.  “I guess.”

“Don’t give me that,” I roll my eyes.  Suddenly, I cup her chin and  press my lips against hers.  I pull back after a few seconds, smirking.

“What was that for?” Maci asks, her eyebrows raised.

I shrug.  “Every time you don’t take a compliment, I’m going to kiss you.”

She juts out her lower lip.  “No matter how tempting that sounds, I’m not _not_ taking the compliments.  They just shouldn’t have been given to me in the first place.”

With that, I press my lips to hers again.  After a few seconds I pull away and watch her expression go from happy to playfully annoyed.  “Niall-”

“-You’ve got a great taste in music,” I interrupt.

“Stop it, Niall.”

Another kiss.

“Niall, is this really necessary-”

“-You have an amazing voice.”

“Niall, stop it.”

Another kiss.

“Okay, really?” she pouts, moving away - but I scoot right up next to her.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

At this the red already on her face turns about two shades darker, and the corners of her mouth threaten to turn upward.  “Now I really doubt tha-”

She’s interrupted with another kiss.

“For Pete’s sake, Niall!” Maci says, exasperated.

“Who’s Pete?” I tease, mock hurt on my face.

She softly thumps my chest and ‘humphs’.  “I’m not playing this game, Niall.”

“Oh,” I say in a posh accent.  “But you are.”  I shift so that I’m directly facing her on the couch.  “You have a great taste in style,” I say.

“No better than-”

She groans as I interrupt her with yet another kiss.

I pull away and take her hand in mine.  “You are the strongest person that I know,” I tell her, looking into her eyes.

“Okay, now I really doubt-”

Another kiss is placed on her lips.

“Ugh!” she sighs.  “Fine!  I’ll take a darn compliment!”

I smile, putting my forehead against hers.  “You’re beautiful, Maci.”

Her face turns an even deeper shade of red.  I can tell that she wants to protest, but she said she would take the compliment.  When she does, a smile widely.

“Thank you,” she breathes, her eyes locked on mine.

I can’t resist.

I close the small gap between us and push my lips against hers.  Maci lets out a confused and surprised noise, and I laugh and pull away.

She pokes my chest.  “I took the compliment!”

“I know,” I mumble, closing the gap again.  She lets out a breath through her nose and puts her arms around my neck.  My arms find their way around her waist and she grabs a small fist-full of my short hair.

We get pretty into the kiss before Louis’ voice sounds throughout the bus, making us both jump.

“I DON’T HEAR ANY TALKING!”

 

 

 

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

I look down at my fingertips, bright red from earlier.  They throb a little bit, but not too badly.  Niall’s teaching me how to play guitar - something I’ve always wanted to do, but it was so far out of the question to buy one when I was living with my father, that I just never thought about it.  How much better can this boy get?

“Alright, Love,” Caroline calls through the door.  “Let’s have a look-see.”

I look at my [outfit <http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_19/set?id=69580640>] in the mirror.  Smiling to myself, I grip the handle and slowly pull the door open.  My shoes suddenly become fascinating as Caroline and Lou’s eyes study me.  After a while I look up to be met by two giant grins.

“That looks great on you,” Caroline muses, wrapping me in a hug.  “I love dressing you up way more than the boys.”

I laugh and shrug.  “You have amazing taste.”

“It’s not just the stylist who makes an outfit great,” she tells me, pulling away.  “The model’s got to wear it well, too.”

My face gets hot.  “I’m not a model,” I mumble, looking at the ground again.

“Oh please,” Lou says, and I can practically _hear_ her roll her eyes.  “You’re _our_ model.”  My face grows warmer and I huff a bit.  “Now get over here so I can do your hair.”

I look up to see that she’s transitioned over to the mirror counter across the room.  Caroline goes to sit on the couch and pulls out her phone, typing away.  I let out a breath and make my way over to Lou, who’s holding up a blowdryer.  She gestures for me to sit and starts pinning up layers of my hair to get them out of the way.  Lou quickly dries my hair - which had been wet from a shower - and picks up a crimper.

“So what have you and Niall been up to?” Lou questions, taking a piece of my hair and crimping it.

My face turns a light red.  “What do you mean?”

She chuckles.  “Not the way you’re thinking, Love.  I mean, what have you two been doing in your free time?”  She groans.  “That sounds weird too!  You know what I mean.”

I let out a small laugh.  “He’s teaching me how to play guitar.”

Caroline gasps from the couch.  “That’s wonderful!” she exclaims.  “The guitar is a great instrument to know how to play!”

“Yeah,” I say quietly with a smile.  “I just started today, and I already love it.  I’ve always wanted to learn.”

“Then why haven’t you?” Lou jokes.

The smile drops from my face and my eyes prick.  _My father.  That’s why._   Several memories flash through my mind of when my father told me that I would be an embarrassment to guitar playing, and I have no hope of getting anywhere in life.  I also can’t forget about him telling me my voice is horrid.

“Oh my God,” Lou breathes.  “I’m so sorry, I forgot.”

“It’s okay,” I whisper, blinking away any tears that make it to my eyes.  “It’s over now.”

“Yes it is,” Caroline says, getting up from the couch.  “You’re safe here.”

Caroline comes up behind us and smiles at me in the mirror.  I smile back weakly and watch Lou crimp the next section of my hair.  After a bit, Caroline claps her hands together.

“Well,” she says.  “I should probably get the boys’ outfits sorted.”

With that, she whirls around and busies herself with a few boxes of clothing.  Lou finishes with my hair and spins me around in the chair.  She beams at me a helps me up.

“You look lovely,” she compliments, patting my cheek.

Suddenly, the door to the room opens and the boys walk in.  Caroline tosses a box to each of the boys, Lou moves to get her things in order, and Niall comes over to me.  “You look beautiful,” he mumbles, pressing his forehead to mine.

“Thank Lou and Car-” I’m cut off by his lips.  I groan but kiss him back, remembering what he’d done earlier.

“Just take the compliment,” he whispers, pulling away.

I feel my face get hot and nod.  He kisses me again, his lips lingering on mine.

“Hey, Niall, will you-  GAHH!  MY EYES!” Louis shouts.

Niall snorts and pulls away.  “No worse than you and Eleanor,” he teases.

The boys and I - excluding Louis - laugh loudly.  I had heard some pretty…  _Interesting_ things about Louis’ and Eleanor’s relationship.  But aside from that, Eleanor sounds like a really nice girl.

Louis pouts, crossing his arms in front of his chest.  “You’re just jealous!”

Niall lets out a small laugh and snakes his arm around my waist, pulling me closer.  “I think I’m good.”

At this, the rest of the boys let out ‘ooohs’.  I laugh along with Niall, though my face gets a little warm.

“Get dressed!” Caroline shouts, chucking a pair of shoes at each of the boys.

They scurry to get dressed, then make their way over to Lou.  Niall takes me over when it’s his turn.  I go to pull up a chair, but he pulls me into his lap.  My face turns a little red, and I thump his chest.

“I don’t think this is going to work,” I tell Niall.  “Lou’s got to be able to reach you.”

“You’re fine,” Lou pipes up with a wink.  She begins to dust foundation on his face.  “When’s that schnoz of yours due to heal?” she asks, blending the powder into his skin.

“I can take the metal thing off by the end of tonight,” he says with a grin.

I smile wryly, my eyes landing on the metal brace holding his nose in place.  A pang goes through my chest, knowing full well that I caused it.  Niall must have seen this because - despite Lou’s protest - he leans in to peck my lips.

“ _Not_ your fault,” he says, reading my mind.  I give him a soft smile as Lou goes back to work on his face and hair.

When she finishes I climb down from Niall’s lap and stand next to the door leading out into the hall.  I can already hear the cheers of an excited crowd.  Niall’s arms find their way around my waist from behind and he buries his face in my neck.

“You better not be messing up that foundation!” Lou snaps.

Niall only laughs and kisses my cheek.  “How do you go out there?” I ask him, leaning back into his chest.  “With all those people watching you.”

“I know that they support us for doing what we love,” he replies simply.  “And if it’s something that we love to do, who cares if anyone’s watching anyway?”

I turn around in his arms and peck his lips.  “I love you,” I say quietly.

He chuckles.  “I love you too.”

I peck his lips again.  “Now go have fun.”

 

 

\---

 

 

_“This is so wonderful,” I say, biting into the chicken Niall hands me.  “Where did you get this?”_

_“It’s from Nandos,” he says with a chuckle.  “My favorite.”_

_“Well it might just have to be my favorite too,” I tell him honestly, making him chuckle._

_I look around at the beautiful park we’re in and play with the edge of the plaid blanket we’re sitting on.  The whole scene is cliche, yet I love it anyway.  The tree overhead provides some shade from the powerful sun, and the smell of blooming flowers fills the air._

_Oh God.  Not again._

_I set down the piece of chicken and wipe my hands off with a napkin._

_“I love you,” I tell him, and he takes my hand._

_I know how this dream ends.  Please, God, do not let me have this dream._

_“I lo-”_

_“Maci,” I hear someone growl behind me, and Niall’s face twists into one of confusion and anger._

_Oh God._

_My stomach drops as I recognize the voice.  As if on cue, the whole sky darkens a shade and the soft wind stops blowing.  The smell of flowers disappears and is replaced by the smell of my own fear.  Oh God.  Oh no._

_I start to shake with fear, my stomach knotting like crazy.  Why is he here?  What does he want?_

_I release Niall’s hand and slowly turn as I stand, coming face to face with my father._

_“Dad,” I say, my voice shaking._

_I take in his tall form.  It feels like he’s gained six inches, now towering a full foot above me.  He’s wearing all black, only making his aura darker.  I don’t smell any alcohol from him - that means he’s sober.  Usually when he’s sober he apologizes, but I sense no sign of remorse in the way he’s glaring at me._

_“He doesn’t love you,” my father snarls, taking a step closer._

_I stumble back a bit.  This feels like a dagger in my chest.  I know my father is wrong.  Niall loves me.  He’s here for me, whenever I need him.  I tell myself this over and over, finally feeling some of the emotional pain slip away._

_“You’re wrong,” I say flatly.  I spin around and reach for Niall’s hand._

_Only he’s not there._

_No!_

_My hand closes around nothing, and my mouth drops open.  I do a full 360, trying to find Niall - but he’s nowhere in sight.  I cringe, thinking about what’s going to happen - I’m alone with my father.  And this didn’t end well last time.  Oh God._

_“Where’s lover boy now?” my father mocks behind me.  He lets out a cruel laugh as he strides the rest of the distance to me, and I can feel his hot breath on my neck._

_I cringe, the pain in my chest returning.  Where’s Niall?  Where is the boy I love?  Oh my God.  What’s going to happen!?_

_“I think it’s about time we finish what we started, huh Maci?” he hisses._

_I don’t even bother turning around.  Instead, I make a mad dash for any place away from here.  Away from_ him _.  I hear his throaty laugh behind me._

_“You can’t run from me Maci.  I’m everywhere.”_

 

 

I gasp loudly, sitting straight up in the bunk.  My heart pounds heavily in my chest.  It’s pitch black, but thankfully I know where I am.  Niall’s arm falls from around me and he stirs.  I freeze, fearing I’ve woken him up.  When he doesn’t say anything, I relax.  I rest a hand on his chest, just to make sure he’s actually here and that he won’t disappear on me.

Once I’ve convinced myself that he won’t disappear, I roll over him carefully and exit the bunk.  My feet land softly on the floor of the bus.  I pad up to the front of the bus and into the main room.  I mutter a quick ‘hello’ to the driver and reach under the couch, feeling for Niall’s guitar case.  My fist closes around the handle and I pull it out, setting it in my lap when I sit down.

I feel like I should be asking to use the instrument, but I don’t want to wake Niall up.  He should be sleeping.  I, on the other hand, both can’t and don’t want to fall back asleep.  I’m not risking that horrible dream again - I don’t think I’ll wake up as calm as this time.

I set the case on the floor and the guitar in my lap the way Niall showed me.  I carefully reach down into the case for the pick and sit back up.  Despite the near-blackness, my hands find the G chord and I strum softly.  The chord plays softly and I take a deep breath, letting the sound calm me.  My heart slows down to normal speed and I let my fingers move to the C chord.

I go through all of the chords Niall taught me, playing a few of the rhythms quietly so I don’t wake anyone.  After a while, I check the clock and sigh.  _2:47._ Wonderful.  I should go back to bed, but I can’t bring myself to leave this spot.  There’s no way that I’m going to open myself to that nightmare.

“Are you alright?” Zayn’s groggy voice says from a few feet away.

I gasp and jump about five feet in the air.  “Zayn!” I whisper.  “You scared the bejesus out of me!”

He chuckles a little.  “Do you mind?” he asks, gesturing to the couch.  I shake my head and he sits.

“Did I wake you up?” I ask quietly.

“Yep.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, I knew playing this wasn’t a good idea,” I say hurriedly, moving to put the guitar away.

“No,” Zayn says softly, placing a hand on the instrument and stopping me.  “It wasn’t the guitar that woke me up.”

“Oh,” I reply quietly, catching on to what he’s saying.

“Which brings me back to my question,” he says seriously, shifting on the couch to face me.  “Are you alright?”

My head droops and I carefully set the guitar in it’s case.  I Criss-cross my legs, folding my hands and setting them in my lap.  “I don’t know,” I whisper after a long time.

Zayn puts a comforting hand on my shoulder.  “Do you want to talk about it?”

My mind flashes to the dream; to my father’s threatening gaze.  To my father finding me everywhere, no matter where I go.  To the thought of Niall leaving, disappearing when I need him the most.  Even though I know all of these thoughts are ridiculous, they still work their way into my mind, haunting my dreams.

I shake my head.  “You should go back to bed.”

He chuckles and takes his hand away.  “I could say the same for you,” he replies.

I look up at him and shake my head again.  “I can’t - I won’t.”

“Maci,” Zayn sighs.  “You can’t let your father dictate how you live your life.  He’s not even here right now.”

My chest pangs at the mention of the man who torments my life, present or not.  “He’s not dictating my life,” I mumble, looking down at my hands.

“Maci, you’ve got to let him go.  He’s not here, and he never will be again.  You’re safe.”

“Just go to sleep, Zayn,” I say, moving to pick up the guitar again.

“You should too, Maci.”

I brush him off.  “Zayn, please go to sleep.”

He heaves a sigh.  “You’ve got to sleep some time.  You’ll get wired if you don’t.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” I mumble, setting the instrument in my lap.

Zayn nods and gets up, making his way back to his bunk.  “And Maci?” he asks, turning around.

“Hmm?”

“Niall loves you more than anything.  I hope you know that.”

I nod.  “I love him.  I hope he knows that.”  There’s a bit of a pause, Zayn’s gaze on me.

“Promise you’ll get some sleep?” he says after a few seconds.

I sigh and shift on the sofa to get more comfortable.  “I promise.”

With that, he huffs and crawls into his bunk, sliding the curtain shut.  It’s so wonderful to have people care about me the way that they do.  But there are just some things that they can’t help.

I put my hand on the fret board and uncross my fingers.  There’s no way I’m going back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments to let me know how I'm doing? :)


	20. Chapter 20

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

My eyes burn as I try to keep them open against the early morning light.  It’s only 5:30 and I’m exhausted.  The boys probably won’t be getting up for another five or six hours, so in the mean time I plan to busy myself with guitar.  Playing soft and nice chords has proved to be a sort of lullaby, though.

I sniff, forcing my eyes to stay open.  I can only imagine how I look right now - partially crimped hair every-which-way, pajamas wrinkled, eyes bloodshot, makeup I’d forgotten to wash off smeared.  Basically, I’m a mess.  I’ll have to freshen up before they boys wake up to avoid questions.  I don’t want to worry them.

I strum an A suspended, wincing as I feel the strings dig into my fingertips.  I’ll be thankful the day that my callouses finally form.  I go through the pattern Niall showed me; three Asus2 strums, three Asus strums, three D strums, then back to A for three strums.  I can’t count how many times I’ve played this pattern.  Thirty, maybe forty?  I don’t even want to know - I’ve got to keep going to keep from falling asleep.

I heave a sigh and stop for a moment, bring my fingers to my mouth to calm the screaming pain in the tips.  Guitar for three hours probably wasn’t the best choice, but I’ve got to stay awake somehow.  I’m only running on about three hours of sleep - Niall had taught me a bunch of new stuff for the guitar after the show yesterday.  I needed sleep.  But I’m not going to sleep.  No matter how right Zayn is.

I shake my head to clear it and place my hand back on the fret board.  I play a different pattern - four strums on G, four on D, four on Em, and four on C.  Niall told me that these are the notes and the patterns for Jason Mraz’s _I’m Yours._   Humming the melody, I stare out the window.  We’re in the middle of nowhere, on our way to Denver.  We left late last night, so we should be there in about nine hours.

My eyelids grow unbelievably heavy in a matter of seconds after finishing the song, and I stifle a yawn.  I force my eyes open, but this lasts for only about two seconds.  When I finally can’t bear it anymore, I check the time - 5:54 - and put the pick and guitar in it’s case.  I use a blanket from under the couch and lay down.  Welcoming myself to sleep, I close my eyes and slip into unconsciousness.

Big mistake.

 

_“Dad,” I say, my voice shaking._

_Oh God._

_“He doesn’t love you,” my father snarls, taking a step closer._

_I stumble back a bit.  This feels like a dagger in my chest.  I know my father is wrong.  Niall loves me.  He’s here for me, whenever I need him.  I tell myself this over and over, finally feeling some of the emotional pain slip away._

_“You’re wrong,” I say flatly.  I spin around and reach for Niall’s hand._

_Only he’s not there._

_My hand closes around nothing, and my mouth drops open.  I do a full 360, trying to find Niall - but he’s nowhere in sight.  I cringe, thinking about what’s going to happen - I’m alone with my father.  And this didn’t end well last time.  Oh God._

_“Where’s lover boy now?” my father mocks behind me.  He lets out a cruel laugh as he strides the rest of the distance to me, and I can feel his hot breath on my neck._

 

With a gasp and a quiet yelp, I shoot up.  My heads dart to my throbbing head, burned with the image of my father.  Curling up into a ball, I rock back and forth, trying to calm pounding heart.

“Shouldn’t have fallen asleep,” I whisper shakily.

I sit with my head against my knees for what feels like a long time, just trying to comfort myself.  _My father is wrong, Niall loves me.  That’s not even Dad, that’s just a part of your imagination.  Niall is here, just inside the bunk.  There’s absolutely no need to worry._

I lift my head once my heart rate is back to an acceptable level and check the time.  _6:03._   I groan.  “Of course,” I mutter, hitting my head with the pillow I was using.  I use the pillow to muffle the scream of frustration I had been holding in.  Then, I calmly toss the pillow to the side.

Deciding the morning light hurts my head, I close the blinds and am plunged into darkness.  I pick up the guitar and pick and start playing again, tuning out every single thought not on the chords.  I watch the clock tick by as well, from 6:30 to 7:00 to 7:15 to 7:20.  Time starts to slow down, the minutes seeming to grow longer and longer.  All of the chords I play seem to blend together, clouding my hearing and blocking out everything else.  I guess I don’t hear anyone come in the room, because a hand on my shoulder scares the crap out of me.

“Oh my God!” I hiss, jumping away from the person’s touch.

“Maci,” Zayn says, his face worried.

“Zayn,” I say, exasperated.  “You’ve _got_ to stop doing that.”

“Doing what?” he asks.

“Scaring the bejesus out of me!”

“Maybe you wouldn’t have been scared if you weren’t zonked out,” he says flatly.

I shake my head and start strumming again.  Zayn’s hand stops me.  “Maci,” he breathes, and something about the way he says it makes me look at him.

His eyes search mine for the longest time.  I look away, not wanting him to see the loss of sleep in them.  Putting the guitar away, I sigh quietly.  I didn’t directly break my promise.  I did get _some_ sleep - about nine minutes, but that’s still some.

“Maci,” he repeats.  I look back at him.  His face is dead serious.  “How much sleep did you get last night?”

My mind flutters back to those three and a half hours before I managed to fall asleep and have a nightmare.  My father’s face resurfaces in my mind, and I wince.  Against my will, he pushes to the _direct_ front, clouding my vision.  I start to shake, remembering his cold eyes in the dream.

“ _He doesn’t love you…”_

“Maci!” someone says urgently, shaking my shoulders.  My head snaps to attention and I let out a yelp, pushing them away.

“Maci, calm down,” Zayn’s voice breaks through my clouded ears.  I look at the blurry figure in front of me.  Slowly but surely, Zayn’s face comes back into focus and I let out a big sigh.

“Zayn,” I breathe.

“Maci, stay with me,” he instructs.  “Answer my question.”

“Hmm?  What question?”

“How.  Much.  Sleep.  Did.  You.  Get.  Last.  Night?” he annunciates carefully.

My mouth forms an ‘O’ and I look at my hands, folded in my lap.  I blink away the tiredness in my eyes and sigh.

“You didn’t get any, did you?” Zayn says, more of a statement than a question.  I don’t answer, and he takes this as a yes.  “Maci,” he sighs.  “You’ve got to sleep.  Don’t let your dreams scare you from sleeping.”

“They’re not dreams,” I say blankly.  “They’re nightmares.”

“Even so,” he continues.  “What are you running on - three hours of sleep?”  He pauses and I nod.  “Maci, you can’t be awake 21 out of 24 hours in a day.”

“That nightmare is horrid, Zayn,” I say, tears pricking at my eyes.

“Maci, you’ve got to face the nightmare head on.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Yes, you can.”  He places his hand on my shoulder.  “You’re strong enough.  Your father isn’t here.  Let your fears go.”

“I don’t think you quite understand,” I say as politely as I can.  I shrug his hand off and stand up.  “I have lived through eighteen years of abuse - been through an eighteen-year _nightmare_.  Sure, I’ve been with you boys - safe - for almost a month now.  But I don’t know how you can just expect me to ‘ _let it go’_.  It’s not that simple.”

I turn around so he can’t see the tears brimming in my eyes.  “Everything good I’ve ever had has been ripped away from me by my father.  And now that you boys have come into my life - especially Niall - I’m finally happy.  Finally _safe_.  But what all of you don’t - and will never - understand is that every day I fear that this will all just disappear from me.  That I’ll just wake up in my bed at home and have to live the rest of my life under the abuse of my father.

“He’s put me down - physically, emotionally, and mentally - for eighteen years.  He’s been my nightmare, on _all_ levels, for eighteen years.  And now that these nightmares have started - Zayn, he’s here again.  He’s _everywhere_.  I can’t have these dreams.  I won’t.  He’s not going to take my dreams away from me, too.”

A steady flow of tears has begun to trickle down my cheeks.  Though my voice is strong, my body trembles as I stare at the floor, my hands balled into fists.  My posture goes rigid as I feel a hand around my wrist and Zayn walks around to face me.

“What are you going to do?” he questions, wiping away a tear from my cheek.

“I’m simply not going to dream,” I sniff.

“And how are you planning on doing that?”

I take a shaky deep breath, exhaling quietly.  “I won’t sleep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments to let me know how I'm doing? :)


	21. Chapter 21

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

“No,” Zayn says sternly.  “No, you can’t do that.”

 

I pull away from him and sit back down on the couch.  “Who’s stopping me?”

 

“Your _body_ , Maci,” he says.  “You can’t stay awake forever.  Think this through.  Sooner or later you’re going to have to fall asleep, and what then?  You’ll be so wired from _not_ sleeping that you probably will have nightmares anyway!”

 

I shake my head.  “The nightmares wake me up anyway, so what’s the point in trying?”

 

“It’s not healthy to stay awake this long,” Zayn reasons.

 

I shrug him off.  “It’s not healthy to have reoccurring nightmares, either.”

 

Zayn pinches the brim of his nose and sighs.  “Why isn’t Niall in here with us?  Why isn’t he in this conversation, too?”

 

My eyes widen.  “Don’t bring him into this,” I say hurriedly.  “Don’t tell him - please, _please_ don’t.  I don’t need him to worry about me.  This is my own problem, not his.  And not _yours,_ for that matter.”

 

“Maci, he loves you.  Niall deserves to know something that could be putting your health in danger.”

 

“My health is not in danger,” I say sharply.  “My sanity is.  I’ll stay sane if I don’t have nightmares.  And given that every time I try to fall asleep I _have_ one, I’m protecting my sanity.”

 

“You’re not making any sense,” Zayn says, sitting down next to me.  “You know better than this, Maci.  You’re just tired.  Please, _please_ get some sleep before we get into Denver.”

 

I shake my head.  “No.  No, no, no.  I don’t want to see my father’s face again, _ever_.  And if I see him while I’m sleeping, then I don’t want to sleep.”

 

Zayn puts his face in his hands.  “You do know that one way or another you’re going to fall asleep, right?  It’s just the sleepiness talking, Maci.  You’re not thinking straight.  Don’t do this to yourself.  You’re setting yourself up for the nightmares to get worse.”

 

I shake my head again.  I’m thinking perfectly straight, I’m awake as ever right now.  “How can they get worse if I’m not having them?”

 

“ _Maci,”_ Zayn breathes.  “Listen to me.  You _have_ to sleep sometime, whether you like it or not.  It is a _fact_ that sleep is essential to the simplest of functions in our bodies.  Don’t set yourself up for both failure _and_ worse dreams.”

 

I shrug him off, despite how right his words are.  I know that I’ll have to sleep again sometime.  But who says that has to be any time soon?

 

“Maci,” Zayn says quietly.  “If you do this to yourself, I’ll be forced to bring Niall into it - if, of course, he doesn’t notice it by just looking at the state you’re in now.”

 

I wince, remembering the mess I must look like.  “Most of the look is from the nightmares,” I reply.  “A quick wipe of the makeup, brush through the hair, and change of clothes will have me looking normal.”

 

“And the bloodshot eyes?”

 

I stare at him for a minute, then think of something.  “My contacts are bothering me.”

 

Zayn rolls his eyes.  “Everyone here knows very well that you don’t wear glasses or contacts.”

 

I huff and cross my arms.  “Why can’t you just worry about yourself?”

 

“Because you mean something to all of us,” he replies without hesitation.  When I don’t say anything, he sighs heavily.  “Just promise me that you’ll sleep at least six hours a day.”

 

“I don’t make promises I can’t keep,” I say flatly.

 

“You made a promise to get some sleep last night.  And look where we are now.”

 

“So if I broke that promise, why are you asking me to keep another?” I counter.

 

Zayn huffs under his breath and seems to count to ten in his head, looking at the ceiling.  After a bit he takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly.  

 

“Fine,” he says at last, looking back at me.  “Stay awake as long as you can.  Good luck.  I won’t tell Niall.  You can explain it to him when you get wired.”  He gets up and walks over to the door.  “I’m not going to say that I won’t be here to talk about it if you need me, because I am,” he says quietly over his shoulder.  “Just…  Don’t do anything any more stupid than this.”

 

With that, he pushes himself into his bunk and slides the curtain shut, not giving me any time to reply.  I look down at my hands and notice that they are shaking, probably from my lack of sleep.  Sighing, I grab the guitar once again and play a few soft rhythms.

 

Now I just have to convince Niall that I’m okay.

 

 

\---

 

 

The boys first begin to stir around 9:30, surprisingly early for them.  I hear a curtain slide open and a groggy Harry pads out into the room.  He grumbles a ‘hello’ at the bus driver and I and grabs a Pepsi from the fridge.  After he chugs it down, he plops back into his bunk and the curtain slides shut.

 

This type of thing is repeated for Louis as well, except a little slower.  Louis really is quite a sight when he’s tired.  His hair sticks every which way, his pajamas wrinkled, and tired eyes.  He, too, goes back to bed within a couple minutes.

 

Liam walks out a says a chipper ‘hello’, checks the time, then decides he wants more sleep.  _If only I could sleep…_

 

No.  Don’t even start.  I will _not_ have those nightmares.

 

Then Niall appears from the doorway.  “Good morning, Love,” he says tiredly, pecking my cheek.

 

I give him a small smile, glad that his morning vision isn’t always the best.  “Morning,” I reply.

 

“How long have you been up and around?” he asks, walking to the counter for his Chex Mix.

 

“Oh,” I say, thinking.  _Since about three_.  “Only a little bit.”

 

He nods.  “I missed waking up to your beautiful face.”

 

A large grin spreads across my face and I wrap him into a hug.  “I’m sorry,” I say jokingly.  “Next time, I’ll be sure to be there when you wake up.”

 

Niall rolls his eyes and kisses the tip of my nose.  “I see you’ve been practicing,” he says, gesturing to the open guitar case on the floor.

 

 _You have no idea_.  “A little,” I reply, shrugging.  “I want these darn callouses to form.”  I hold up my hand, looking at the red and raw tips of my fingers.

 

Niall takes my hand in his and brings each finger up to his mouth, kissing the ends.  “It’ll take time.  Maybe a week or so?”

 

 _Or less, now that it’ll be the only thing keeping me up._ 266 “I guess I’ll just have to keep practicing,” I say with a smile, my lips brushing over his nose.  “I thought you got to take this off last night,” I say, tapping the metal on his healed nose.

 

Niall shrugs.  “Never got around to it, I guess,” he shrugs.  “Will you help?”

 

I smile widely and carefully reach up to his nose.  I peel the medical tape from over the edges and throw them in the wastebasket just next to the couch.  The metal plate just sort of falls off and I catch it in my hands before tossing that, too.

 

I gasp as I look back at his face - just how I remember it on the first day the we met.  No metal strip in the way, no medical tape to cover it up.  Just Niall.

 

“I love you,” I say, kissing his nose, then kissing his lips.

 

“I love you too,” he replies between kisses.  I pull away after a bit.

 

 

“Now how about another song?” I ask with a smile.

 

 

\---

 

 

“This one is trickier,” I tell Niall, strumming a C bar chord.  I’ve come to hate bar chords in the past day.  They’re just a little too tough for my not-so-tough hand to play.

 

“I know,” he laughs, helping me press my fingers down.  “Bar chords have never been my favorite.”

 

“When are we stopping for breakfast?” Louis moans, stumbling sleepily into the room.

 

“No idea,” Niall replies, not paying him any attention while he helps me.

 

I see Louis shrug and go back to the bunk area.  “PAUL!” he screams, and I hear the woosh of a curtain.  “GET YOUR LAZY BUM UP!  I WANT BREAKFAST!”

 

I hear a deep growl and a yelp.  Louis comes scurrying out of the bunk area like a scared puppy.  He darts to the corner of the room and curls into a ball.

 

“What did he say?” Niall asks, laughing uncontrollably.

 

Louis juts out his lower lip.  “He said wake him up later.”

 

Niall and I take off laughing.  Louis just pouts on while we hold our sides.  Don’t mess with Paul, I guess.  That is beyond hilarious, especially for Louis.

 

Harry comes stumbling into the room, scratching his head.  “Babe, was that you screaming?”

 

“Yes,” Louis says sharply.  “But Paul is not in the mood.”

 

Harry laughs and runs over to Louis, pulling him into a hug.  “Awwwh, did Paul scare my Lou Bear?”

 

“No,” Louis says defensively.  “I just don’t want to bother him.  He’s very…  Grumpy when he’s sleeping.”

 

“You would think you would have learned this by now,” Liam says, walking in.  He takes a seat next to Niall and I and crosses his legs.

 

“What time is it?” Zayn grumbles, coming into the room.

 

“11:00,” I reply, checking my phone.

 

Zayn eyes me weirdly and I know he’s trying to tell me something, but I look away so I don’t have to see it.  I’ve made my decision.

 

Paul suddenly stumbles out into the room, thwacking Louis on the head as he passes.  He crouches to talk to the bus driver, murmuring quietly about breakfast.  After a few seconds he stands up to face us.

 

“We’ll stop for breakfast in thirty minutes,” he grumbles before stomping back to his bunk.

 

We wait for quite a while before anyone speaks.  “Well then,” Louis mumbles, rubbing his head.

 

“I’m going to go freshen up,” I say, handing the guitar to Niall.  He smiles and I lean down to peck his cheek.  “Be back in a minute.”

 

I ignore the look Zayn gives me on the way back to Niall’s bunk.  Digging through my duffel, I pull out this [<http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=69681544>] and some makeup wipes.  I head into the bathroom and use the wipes to get the smeared mascara off of my face, then change.  I pull my hair up and brush out the ends, then walk back out into the front room.

 

Zayn is talking to Niall on the couch, and my chest heaves.  I walk over as calm as I can manage and sit next to Niall on his side opposite Zayn.  I shoot Zayn a look but he doesn’t seem to notice, going on and talking to Niall about music.  The tightness in my chest ebbs a bit when I realize that they aren’t talking about me, and I let out a subtle breath.

 

“Hey!” Louis suddenly shouts, making me jump.

 

“What?” I ask, confused, along with everyone else.

 

Louis playfully glares at me.  “Stripes are _my_ thing.”

 

 

\---

 

 

“Thank you!” Louis yells in the drive-thru window, making the worker squeal.  He skipped back onto the bus along with Paul, holding several bags of food.

 

The bus driver peels out of the McDonald’s drive-thru and back onto the highway.  I’m handed a bag with a snack wrap and small fry, along with a Pepsi from the fridge.

 

“I swear,” I say.  “You boys have an endless supply of Pepsi.”

 

“That’s what you get for doing a commercial,” Liam says, digging into his burger.

 

“Mmm,” I nod, biting into my wrap.

 

We eat in silence, most of the sound the the bus’ tires on the road and the occasional crumple of a food wrapper.  The silence starts to kill me after a while.  That’s one of the things about me - if it’s quiet, I get tired.  And considering that I’m running on three hours of sleep;  I get _really_ tired.

 

I feel my eyes start to droop and I blink rapidly, but subtly.  Against my will, I let out a big - and I mean GIANT - yawn.  I quickly wipe away the sleepy tears that come to my eyes.  This is something _everyone_ catches.

 

“Wow, Love,” Niall muses, wrapping his arm around my waist.  “You look tired.  How much sleep did you get last night?”

 

“Uhmm,” I say hesitantly, my chest constricting.  My gaze momentarily flashes to Zayn.  His jaw is set and he’s looking at me expectantly.  I look back at Niall.  “A bit,” I tell him, playing with my hands.

 

“Maybe you should get a nap in?” Niall says with a smile.

 

“No,” I say a little to quickly.  I swear, I’m getting jumpy.  I do a mental face-palm and compose myself.  “I want to stay out here with you.”

 

“Isn’t that just adorable?” Harry says sarcastically.  I stick my tongue out at him.

 

“Really, Maci,” Niall chuckles, pulling me closer.  “If you’re tired, you should have a nap.  We won’t be in Denver for another three hours.”

 

“Really,” I say.  “I’m okay.”  I lean my head on his shoulder - big mistake.

 

My eyes start to close and I grunt in frustration.  I feel Niall’s laugh vibrate my head, making me even _more_ tired, if that’s even possible.  _Oh God, no.  I can’t fall asleep_.  But I can’t open my eyes.  I feel like a thousand pound weight was just placed on my eyelids, restricting any movement at all.  I can feel myself start to slip into a dream, and I try to cry out but I can’t.

 

“You should take her to your bunk,” I hear Zayn say quietly.

 

I mentally growl at him.  He knows I don’t want to fall asleep.  _Dammit, Zayn!  Help me!_   I jolt as someone’s arms slip under my knees and back, swooping me up bridal style.

 

“Shh,” Niall says when I let out a whimper.  “It’s okay, Love, I’ve got you.  You’re safe.”

 

 _If you only knew,_ I cry mentally as I slip into unconsciousness.

 

 

\---

 

 

_“He doesn’t love you,” my father snarls, taking a step closer._

 

_I stumble back a bit.  This feels like a dagger in my chest.  I know my father is wrong.  Niall loves me.  He’s here for me, whenever I need him.  I tell myself this over and over, finally feeling some of the emotional pain slip away._

 

_“You’re wrong,” I say flatly.  I spin around and reach for Niall’s hand._

 

_Only he’s not there._

 

_My hand closes around nothing, and my mouth drops open.  I do a full 360, trying to find Niall - but he’s nowhere in sight.  I cringe, thinking about what’s going to happen - I’m alone with my father.  And this didn’t end well last time.  Oh God._

 

_“Where’s lover boy now?” my father mocks behind me.  He lets out a cruel laugh as he strides the rest of the distance to me, and I can feel his hot breath on my neck._

 

 

 

I gasp and my eyes fly open to reveal - nothing.  Wherever I am is pitch black.  I can still feel my father’s hot breath on my neck as I shift uncomfortably.  Someone grunts behind me and I freeze.  That’s when I realize that a pair of arms is wrapped tightly around my middle - and someone’s hot breath _is_ on my neck.

 

I gasp and roughly shake their arms off of me.  When I hear the person groan close to my ear I fly up against the wall, cowering in the corner.  _Where the hell am I?_ I press my back hard against the wall as the dark silhouette moves to sit up.

 

“Maci,” their groggy voice groans.  They reach out to grab my wrist and I yelp, yanking it away.  “Maci, are you-”

 

“-Just let me be, Dad!” I shriek.

 

Almost instantly the person freezes.  “Oh God,” they say, moving away from me.  “Oh God, Maci, I’m not your father.”

 

A curtain swishes open to reveal a blinding light.  I try to keep my eyes open to be sure he doesn’t try anything, but I can’t.  My eyes shut tight and I start to whimper, my shoulders trembling.

 

“Maci,” the person says.  “It’s alright.  You’re father isn’t here.  It’s just me.  Please, _please_ don’t be afraid.”

 

As quickly as my eyes can adjust, the outline of a person starts to form.  Then, the details slowly fill in.  Blond hair…  Blue eyes…  Concerned look…  Oh my God-

 

“Niall!” I cry, throwing myself into his arms.  He seems hesitant at first, but his arms find their way around my waist.  Sobs wrack my body as Niall strokes my hair to comfort me.  It must have been an insanely long time before I sit up.  “I’m s-sorry, I d-didn’t mean it.  I just…  I j-just had-”

 

“-You had a nightmare,” he finishes for me and I nod, my bottom lip trembling.  “I get it.”

 

 _No, you don’t._ I bury my face in his chest, breathing in his comforting scent.  “W-where are the b-boys?” I ask, noticing the lack of noise throughout the bus.

 

“We’re in Denver,” Niall says.  “They went to stretch their legs about an hour ago.”

 

“When’s soundcheck?” I mumble.

 

“In about an hour.”

 

Wonderful.  I have to pull myself together in an hour before I become Lou and Caroline’s doll.  Not that I have a problem with it - I actually quite enjoy getting dressed up.  I just want to avoid any questions about the dream - or rather, nightmare.

 

“Do you want to tell me abo-”

 

“-No,” I cut him off, squeezing his shoulders.  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

He grunts in agreement and nuzzles him face in my neck.  “How long are we in Denver again?” I ask.  Something about the altitude is hurting my head.

 

“Three days, not counting today,” he answers after thinking a bit.  I nod and snuggling into him.

 

I finally calm my breathing down and the stinging in my eyes goes away, but we stay in each other’s arms.  After a while I start to get tired again, but I force my eyes open.  There’s no way I’m falling asleep without setting an alarm.  I remember in psychology class that the human mind starts dreaming after being asleep for about thirty minutes.  I’ll set an alarm for twenty, just to be sure.

 

I never want to see my father’s face, hear my father’s voice, smell my father’s liquor, of feel his touch _ever_ again.

 

And if that means no sleeping - then so be it.


	22. Chapter 22

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

***********************THREE DAYS LATER**********************

 

 

Three hours.  I’ve counted.  Three hours of sleep in total for the past three days.

 

I’ve started using foundation again - this time to cover the dark bags under my eyes.  Guitar has been - and will be from now on - my foundation for staying awake.  I’m getting a lot better, though still not as good as Niall.  I’ve learned in total about 10 songs in the past three days.  That’s how long my nights are.

 

The rest of the boys are asleep right now.  I pluck string after string as the bus drives down the highway.  I’ve talked to the bus driver about me playing late at night, but he doesn’t mind.  He says that it keeps him awake.  Thankfully, it keeps me awake as well.

 

Zayn is still on my back.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten a look from him.  He’s even tried to stay up with me.  He always falls asleep though, and I have to wake him up to bring him back to his bunk.  Niall still doesn’t know that I stay up.  I avoid issues like that by waiting for him to fall asleep and then coming out here to set my alarms.  I’ve figured out his internal schedule - I know when to climb back into our bunk for him to wake up.

 

The only evidence of my nights up is the fact that I’m starting to become more and more distant from reality - losing track of conversations, spacing off, having trouble grasping some topics.  I’m trying to sleep, I really am.  I just can’t have those nightmares.  Every time I feel myself drifting off, I turn my alarm on.  When it wakes me up, I usually can’t fall back asleep for a long time.  Thus, only three hours asleep total.

 

It’s currently 2:38 in the morning, and we’ll be in San Diego in about 8 hours.  My eyelids are becoming increasingly droopy, and I pull out my phone as I set the guitar and pick aside.  Suddenly, my body falls to the side at the smallest movement of the bus.  Did I mention I’ve been growing increasingly weaker?  Well, yeah.

 

Thankfully I land on the couch, my body sprawled clear across it.  Before my overly tired eyes have a chance to close, I unlock my phone.  I feel myself start to slip into unconsciousness as I open the alarm app.  My eyes reluctantly close as I press my finger down on the screen.  But I realize as my mind starts to shut off that I’ve missed the ‘set’ button.

 

Oh God.

 

 

 

_“He doesn’t love you,” my father snarls, taking a step closer._

 

_I stumble back a bit.  This feels like a dagger in my chest.  I know my father is wrong.  Niall loves me.  He’s here for me, whenever I need him.  I tell myself this over and over, finally feeling some of the emotional pain slip away._

 

_“You’re wrong,” I say flatly.  I spin around and reach for Niall’s hand._

 

_Only he’s not there._

 

_Why must this dream keep hurting me?  Why does it torture me so?_

 

_My hand closes around nothing, and my mouth drops open.  I do a full 360, trying to find Niall - but he’s nowhere in sight.  I cringe, thinking about what’s going to happen - I’m alone with my father.  And this didn’t end well last time.  Oh God._

 

_“Where’s lover boy now?” my father mocks behind me.  He lets out a cruel laugh as he strides the rest of the distance to me, and I can feel his hot breath on my neck._

 

_I cringe, the pain in my chest returning.  Where’s Niall?  Where is the boy I love?  Oh my God.  What’s going to happen!?_

 

_“I think it’s about time we finish what we started, huh Maci?” he hisses._

 

 _I don’t even bother turning around.  Instead, I make a mad dash for any place away from here.  Away from_ him _.  I hear his throaty laugh behind me._

 

_“You can’t run from me Maci.  I’m everywhere.”_

 

 _My head whips back to look behind me.  But what I see - or more like what I_ don’t _see - makes me stop dead.  My father is gone.  Just like Niall had disappeared, my father is gone.  I’m not convinced yet, though.  I have to go find Niall - now._

 

_Still looking back, I take a full stride before connecting with something.  I stumble back, trying to gain my balance again as I look at what stopped me.  Lo and behold, my father has impossibly reappeared in front of me._

 

 

 

With a gasp I shoot up, my eyes wide.  I immediately curl into a bawl, shoving my head between my knees.

 

“It’s okay, Maci,” I whisper to myself.  “You’re okay.  Niall’s here for you.  You’re with the boys.  Everything is fine.”  My heart slowly goes back to normal speed.   I curse under my breath and sigh, closing my eyes and flopping back down on the couch.

 

“I told you, you can’t escape sleep forever,” Zayn’s voice says beside the couch, making me nearly jump out of my skin.

 

“Zayn!” I hiss, turning to see him sitting cross-legged, facing the couch.  “Don’t _do_ that!  I thought I told you not to scare the bejesus out of me!”

 

He shrugs.  “Sorry.”

 

I roll my eyes.  “I know I can’t ‘escape’ sleep forever.  I don’t intend to.  I’m actually getting some sleep, thank you very much.”

 

“How much?” he asks, resting his chin in his hand.

 

I sigh.  “Go to bed, Zayn.”

 

“No.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Why not?”

 

I throw my head in my hands.  “Three hours, Zayn.”

 

“Tonight?”

 

“No.  Total, since Denver.”  I let out a deep breath.

 

“Maci,” he says, putting a hand on my shoulder.  “This isn’t healthy, and you know it.”

 

“As long as I don’t have to see, smell, hear, or touch him again, I don’t care,” I say, shrugging him off.

 

“Maci, think this through,” he reasons.  “Remember how we talked about your sanity?”  I nod.  “This is wearing on your sanity.  Staying awake is doing things to your head, and that’s why you’re having the same bad dream over and over.”

 

“You don’t know that,” I sniff.

 

“Okay, Maci,” he sighs, throwing his hands in the air.  “I don’t know that.  I’m only trying to look out for you.  You can’t keep going on like this.  What if it gets worse, though?”

 

“I don’t see how it can get worse.  My father’s already taken away my dreams, and he’s not even here.  What’s next?”

 

“Your mind,” he says flatly.

 

I shake my head.  “He won’t do that.  I won’t let him.”

 

“Maci, he already has.”

 

My stomach drops, despite knowing he’s wrong.  “No.  No he hasn’t.”

 

“Think about it,” he says, getting up and sitting on the couch next to me.  “He took over your life when you were living with him.  Sure, he’s taken over your dreams.  And now that you’re away from him, you’re just worrying about staying away from him.  He’s in your dreams, right?”

 

“Nightmares,” I correct.

 

He nods.  “Nightmares, then.  You want to stay away from your dreams.  Therefore, you’re not sleeping - if you do, it’s not for very long.  You’re losing sleep - wearing thin, growing weaker - because of the thought of him.  He’s in your mind, dictating what you do.  Look at the bags under your eyes, Maci.”

 

I reach up to touch under my eyes.  Even though I can’t see them, I know the dark spots under my eyes are there.

 

“You’ve started covering them up - yes, I’ve seen the foundation in your bag.  You used to cover your bruises up with foundation, Maci.  Do you see how this is turning out just like when you lived at home?”

 

My eyes go wide and my mouth drops open.  He’s right.  My hands fly up to my face again, covering up the spots under my eyes.

 

“Zayn,” I say, tears pricking at my eyes.  “I can’t fall back asleep.  I can’t see him again.”

 

“You can get through this,” Zayn says, taking my hands away from my face.  “You’ve just got to let someone help.”

 

That’s when I start to sob.  The tears flow from my eyes and down my cheeks.  “This is my problem,” I whimper, turning my head away.  “I can’t trouble anyone with it, especially not you and-”

 

“Maci?” someone’s groggy voice says from by the door.  They step into the light and I freeze, my chest heaving.

 

“-Niall,” I breathe.

 

 

 

 

 

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

I wake up to the quiet sound of Maci’s sobs.  Immediately I reach out, trying to pull her close to me.  But she’s not here.  My chest heaves but I listen closer, trying to find where it’s coming from.  My feet carry me down from the bunk and to the doorway leading into the front room.

 

“You can get through this,” I hear Zayn say.  “You’ve just got to let someone help.”

 

“This is my problem,” Maci’s voice whimpers.  “I can’t trouble anyone with it, especially not you and-”

 

“Maci?” I say, not able to hear her crying without me there.  I step out into the light and see Zayn sitting next to her on the couch while she sobs.

 

“-Niall,” she breathes.

 

“What’s the matter, Love?” I say, hurrying over.  I pull her into my lap and she buries her face in my chest, grabbing a handful of my t-shirt.  There’s a long pause where no one speaks.  “Maci,” I say, wanting to know the cause of her tears.

 

“Maci,” Zayn says quietly.  “You need our help to get through this.”

 

I feel her shoulders shake against me and I pull back to look at her face.  I can see that there are deep bags under her eyes, and I kiss away the tears on her cheeks.  “You can tell me, Love.”

 

She sniffs and looks up at me.  “My…  My father is…  I can’t fall asleep without having a nightmare about him.”

 

My chest heaves and I nuzzle my face in her neck.  “I’m so sorry,” I mumble, holding her tighter.

 

“And…” she continues.  “I’m…  I’m not sleeping.”

 

“I understand,” I say.  If I were having nightmares, I would be losing sleep, too.

 

“I don’t think…  I don’t think you do.”

 

Zayn shifts beside us.  “I’m going to let you two alone,” he mumbles, walking back to his bunk and sliding the curtain shut.

 

“Then help me understand,” I tell her.

 

“I…  I’m choosing…  I’m making myself stay awake.”

 

My stomach drops.  “That’s not good, Maci.  You can’t force yourself to stay awake.  You’ll…  You’ll get sick, you’ll make falling asleep so much worse for your find.  And you can’t stay awake forever, so why try?”

 

She sighs heavily and takes my chin in her hand, making me look at her.  “I can’t see him again.  I can’t see, hear, feel my father again.  It’s killing me.”

 

My chest heaves again, and I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut.  “He’s not really here, Maci.  I’m here, I’m real.  I can help you through this, if you’d just let me.”

 

“Go to bed, Niall,” she tells me, but this makes me hold her tighter.

 

“I can’t,” I tell her honestly.  “Not without knowing you’re not hurting yourself.”

 

“Nothing is going to make it better!” she suddenly snaps, causing me to recoil a bit.  Her face immediately softens and she cups my cheek.  “I’m sorry,” she says, pecking my lips.  She pulls away and gives me a sad smile.  “This is just something I have to get over on my own.”

 

“Well, that’s just too damn bad,” I tell her, shifting on the couch so she’s lying down on top of me.  I put my hands behind my head and stare at the ceiling, eyes wide open.

 

“What are you doing?” she hesitates, looking at my face.

 

“Helping you.”

 

“And how is this helping me?”

 

I smile softly and peck her lips.  “I’m going to stay awake with you.”


	23. Chapter 23

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

Niall is asleep within minutes.  I rest my head down on his chest, his soft snores vibrating throughout his body.  I trace shapes on the inside of his arm, feeling his soft skin twitch every now and then, making me smile.

 

After knowing Niall for a month, I figured out that he can’t stay up as long as he desires to.  No matter how hard he tries, I know he won’t be able to stay up with me, so I agreed to at least let him sleep out here.

 

My eyes start to droop and I immediately climb off of him, criss-crossing my legs on the floor and pulling the guitar into my lap.  My fingers land on the fret board to form the first chord of Justin Bieber’s _Pray_.  I strum through the chords quietly, humming along the melody.  By the bridge, I’m singing out the words.

 

 

“ _I pray for the broken-hearted,_

_Pray for the life not started._

_I pray for all the lungs not breathing._

_I pray for all the souls that need a break._

 

_Can you give ‘em one today?_

 

_I just can’t sleep tonight._

_Can someone tell me how to make a change?_

 

_I close my eyes and I can see a better day_

_I close my eyes and pray._

_I close my eyes and I can see a better day_

_I close my eyes and I pray, ohh._

 

_I pray_

_I pray_

_I close my eyes and pray.”_

 

 

For some reason, tears are flowing down my cheeks as I finish.  I close my eyes and sniff, wiping away part of the steady stream running down my face.

 

“Maci?” Niall’s groggy voice says.

 

I open my eyes quickly and wipe away the rest of the tears, not wanting him to see - but I’m a little late.

 

“Love, it’s okay,” he coos, sliding off the couch and wrapping me in his arms.  “I’m sorry I drifted off.  I won’t leave you again.”

 

My heart swells.  “You don’t have to,” I say quietly into his shoulder.

 

“I want to.”

 

“By that,” I say.  “I mean you shouldn’t.  You have a show tomorrow.”

 

“I don’t care,” he says flatly, holding me tighter.  “I’m staying up, whether you like it or not.”

 

Despite my current state, I laugh a bit.  “You know you can’t stay up long,” I say, glancing at the clock.  “It’s 3:30 in the morning, and you first woke up at around three.  You don’t normally get up until ten, and I guarantee that you won’t last from now until tonight.”

 

He shrugs.  “I’ll be keeping you company.”

 

“You know you can’t stay up that long.”

 

“I know I _can_ ,” he says, getting up to go the fridge.  He pulls out a Pepsi and sits beside me on the floor, popping it open.

 

I sigh.  This boy is determined.  “You’re an idiot,” I say blankly.  “I love you,” I peck his cheek.  “But you’re an idiot.”

 

He chuckles and pecks my lips.  “I’m an idiot blessed with an amazing girl, who just so happens to hold my heart.”  He takes my hand and places it over his heart.  I smile as I feel his pulse underneath my hand.  “I love you too,” he whispers, kissing my forehead.

 

I rest my head against his chest and breathe in his scent, feeling it calm me.  I know it’s a bad idea, but I like having someone stay up with me.  I play with his fingertips as he hums softly to me.  All of the sudden though, he stops.  Looking up at him in confusion, I see there’s a smile on his face.

 

“What?” I ask hesitantly.

 

“I’m taking you out tomorrow - er, this afternoon,” he says, no sign of a question.  “Before sound check, I’m taking you out.”

 

I put my head back on his chest and wrap my arms around his middle.  “Mmkay.”

 

 

\---

 

 

[[http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=69756714](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=69756714%5D)]

 

“Be back by four,” Paul says to us sternly, handing Niall the keys to the ‘1D Van’, as they call it.

 

Niall nods, but Paul doesn’t seem convinced.  “I promise to have him back by four,” I say with a smile, and Paul laughs a little.

 

“Alright,” he replies, walking back into the tour bus.

 

Niall takes my hand and opens the passenger’s side door for me, then jogs around to the drivers side.  He hops in and turns the key in the ignition.  We pull out of the concert hall’s parking lot and onto the street.

 

“Aren’t you a little cautious?” I ask.  “You know, because of what happened at the rink with the girls?”

 

Niall chuckles as we pull up to a red light.  “It’s one noon on a Monday.  They have better things to do than be out patrolling the town for Niall Horan.”

 

I peck his cheek.  “Like getting ready to see One Direction?”

 

He smiles.  “Exactly.”

 

The light turns green and we continue down the road.  Since it’s a work day, the traffic isn’t too bad for a big city.  “Where are we going?” I ask casually.

 

“It’s a surprise,” Niall sing-songs.  He holds out a bandana.  “I’m going to need you to put this on,” he says.

 

I make a weird face at it but take it from his hand.  “What for?”

 

“It’s a surprise,” he says in the same voice.

 

I roll my eyes but tie it our the back of my head to cover my eyes.  “I wonder what the people passing by us will think when they see me blindfolded in Niall Horan’s _van_.”

 

“Okay, now you just made me sound like a rapist.”  I laugh loudly and lean over the divider to kiss his cheek, but I miss because I can’t see.  “My shoulder is definitely feelin’ the love,” Niall says sarcastically.

 

I thump his shoulder and cross my arms.  “Just keep driving.”

 

He laughs, and I feel the van turn a corner.  We ride in silence for a bit, then I feel the van coast to a stop.  I hear Niall unbuckle his seatbelt and I go to do the same, but his hand stops me.

 

“Stay here,” he say, pecking my lips.  I hear the car door open and him climb out.  “And _don’t_ take the blindfold off.”

 

“Okay,” I huff, sticking out my lower lip.

 

“I love you,” he hums before shutting the door.

 

“Love you too,” I grumble, even though he can’t hear me.

 

I’m left to twiddle my thumbs for seventeen minutes and forty-three second - yes, I counted, because that’s how bored I get.  The trunk suddenly opens, making me jump.

 

“Niall?” I ask, turning in the seat.

 

“I’m here, Love.  Don’t take the blindfold off!”

 

I chuckle and turn back around as I hear him slide something - heavy, by the sound - into the back.  The trunk closes and a few seconds later his door opens and the car starts again.  I hear him buckle his seatbelt and he takes my hand, squeezing it gently.  A loud yawn comes from his mouth and I frown.

 

“You’re tired,” I say, more a statement than a question.

 

“I’m fine,” he replies.

 

“No, you stayed up with me, and now you’re tired.”

 

“I stayed up _for_ you,” he says.  “And I don’t care how long I have to stay up, you’re not going through this alone.”

 

I sigh heavily.  “This is a bad choice on you part,” I grumble.  “You have tons of lyrics to remember, and you don’t function the best when you’re tired.”

 

“Maci, those lyrics have been burnt into my brain.  I’m not going to forget them, not even when I’m tired.”

 

“So you admit you’re tired?” I question, knowing I’ve got him.

 

He groans and squeezes my hand.  “Yes, fine.  I’m tired.  But so are you.  And however long you stay up, I stay up.”

 

I heave another sigh, knowing full well that I’m not going to win this.  “Fine,” I grumble, resting my head against the window.  “How long until we get to wherever it is you’re taking me?”

 

“We’re here,” he says happily, and the car comes to a stop.

 

“Thank goodness,” I say, moving my hands up to the blindfold.

 

“No!” Niall says hurriedly, taking my hands away.  “Not yet.  Stay here for just a minute.”

 

“Again?” I sigh.

 

“Yep.  Now hold on.”  His door opens and shuts.

 

If I could, I would roll my eyes.  The trunk opens and I hear him move around some stuff, the run away hurriedly across - grass?  Hmm.  There’s a rustling a little bit away from the van and I smell blooming flowers.  I inhale the scent, feeling it relax my body.  I feel myself needing to yawn, but I contain it and continue listening.

 

Niall’s heavy footsteps jog back up to the van and past the open trunk.  My door opening makes me jump, and I feel Niall take my hand.  “Don’t take the blindfold off yet,” he says, helping me step out of the vehicle.  He leads me around the van, stopping and turning me toward the open trunk.

 

I hear him fumble with something - a case, maybe?  He lets out a breath and wraps his arms around my waist from behind.

 

“Okay,” he mumbles, kissing the back of my neck.  “You can take it off now.”

 

I smile and remove the blindfold, my eyes taking a moment to adjust.  When they do, I gasp.  Sitting in the trunk, right in front of me is a guitar [[http://images.guitarbitz.com/images/products/1307716851-29601700.jpg](http://images.guitarbitz.com/images/products/1307716851-29601700.jpg%5D)].

 

“Do you like it?” Niall murmurs, pulling me closer against him.

 

I turn around.  “For me?” I ask, my eyes wide as I point at myself.  He nods.  “I _love_ it!” I squeal, throwing my arms around his neck and burying my face in his shoulder.

 

He chuckles and kisses the spot behind my ear.  “Go on, try it out.”  I do another little squeal and he lets me go.

 

I grab the guitar and sit down on the edge of the trunk, closing my eyes as I play a well-tuned G chord.  “It’s amazing,” I breathe.  I feel Niall’s lips on mine and I smile.  “You didn’t have to get this for me.”

 

“I wanted to,” he counters, as always.  I open my eyes and shake my head, pecking his lips again.

 

“I thought you said we were having lunch,” I say as I stand up and set the guitar back in its case.

 

“We are,” he says, pulling me into an embrace.

 

“Where?” I mumble into his chest.

 

He kisses my forehead and pulls away, taking my hand.  “Here,” he says.

 

I take in the beautiful scene in front of me.  We’re in a park, the beautiful green grass bending softly in the wind.  The breath-taking trees around the park hold blooming flowers, making the air smell wonderful.  The bright sun warms my skin comfortably.  This scene seems so familiar, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.

 

I smile as Niall begins leading me to one of the trees, and I see that he’s set up a little picnic for us.  He sits down on the blanket near a basket while I stay standing, just looking at what he’s prepared for us.

 

“Aren’t you going to sit?” he asks with a chuckle, seeing my wide smile.

 

I hold my finger up.  “Just taking in the scene.”

 

He shakes he head with a smile and reaches into the basket pulling out - chicken.  I’m about to sit down when something clicks.

 

 _I’ve seen this before_.

 

My stomach drops and my smile disappears.  _Plaid blanket, chicken, sitting under a tree, the park, smell of flowers.  All that’s missing is…_

 

“Oh God,” I whisper, my legs trembling.

 

“What is it?” Niall looks up, concerned.

 

I can’t hear him, though.  My mind is going a thousand miles an hour.  _My dream.  Oh God.  Where is he?  I know he’s here, where is he?  He’s going to take this away from me, too!  This always happens,  I knew it would.  Oh God, I was right._ He _was right.  I can never get away._

 

Suddenly, I whirl around, my back to Niall.  “ _Where are you_?” I scream.  “ _Hit me with your best shot, I’m RIGHT HERE!”_

 

“Maci!” Niall shouts.  I hadn’t even noticed that my hands are shaking until Niall grabs them.

 

“No!” I shout, tugging away from him.  “This is between me and _him_!  _Where are you!?”_

 

“Maci!” Niall shouts, gripping my shoulders and spinning me around.  “Who the hell are you talking to!?”

 

“My _father!”_ I scream, and Niall’s face shows complete shock.  I can’t take it anymore.  It feels like all of the energy leaves my body.  My knees buckle and I collapse, landing on my back, my legs bent out to the side.  “My father,” I whisper again, feeling the tears prick in my eyes.

 

“Oh my God!” Niall blurts, kneeling down beside me.  “Maci, look at me.  Are you okay?  Maci!”

 

My eyes can’t find his face.  I’m stuck staring at the beautiful blue sky.  “I can never escape him,” I whisper.  “Never.”

 

“Maci,” Niall says hurriedly, and I feel his hand on the back of my neck, pulling me into a sitting position.  I fall back into him, not being able to support my own weight.  “Maci, look at me.  Please, _please_ look at me.”

 

I find the energy to guide my half-open eyes to his face, full of worry.  “Mmm,” I mumble, squeezing his hand.

 

He lets out a big breath.  “Maci, your father isn’t here.  I am.  You’re safe.”

 

I don’t know how, but I find the strength to sit up.  Niall still holds me in his lap, giving me a sense of support.  No tears fall from my eyes, but I feel like I’m crying enough to fill an ocean.  Strained whimpers leave my throat, and my breathing is shaky, my heart beating fast.

 

“Where is he?” I squeak.

 

“Where is who, Love?” Niall asks quietly, brushing a piece of hair out of my face.

 

“Where is my father,” I say, wincing.  “He’s here, I know it.  I’ve seen this all before, I know he’s here.”

 

Niall’s body tenses.  “Maci,” he says.  “No one is here but us.  Your father is back in Florida - all the way across the country.  There’s absolutely no way that he’s here.”

 

I turn around to look in his eyes.  “Promise?” I whisper.

 

“I promise,” he says, wiping a tear from my cheek that I didn’t know was there.

 

With that, I throw my arms around his neck, making him fall back onto the blanket.  I bury my face in his chest, inhaling his comforting scent.  It feels like we sit this way forever, Niall stroking my hair as I attempt to calm myself.  I’m finally brought back into my sane thoughts by Niall’s large yawn.

 

“You’re tired,” I mumble, sitting up.

 

“So are you,” he counters, pulling me back down on top of him.

 

I groan and roll off of him, clear across the blanket.  “You need a nap before the show.  What are you running on, five hours of sleep?”

 

He shrugs.  “I’ve had less.”

 

I shake my head.  “Not when you’re performing.  Lets go.”

 

I manage to pull him up and lead him to the van.  He makes me stay in the vehicle while he goes and packs up the food we never got to eat.  Niall shoves it in the trunk and closes it, jogging up to the driver’s side and climbing in.  We drive back in silence, holding hands over the divider.

 

Niall pulls into the lot behind the concert hall next to the tour bus.  He opens my door and takes my hand as we walk into the bus.  We mumble ‘hello’s to Liam and Paul sitting in the front room and try to avoid the competitive and noisy boys in the back room.  Niall closes the door between the back room and the bunk room, muffling most of the sound.

 

“Up,” I say when he turns to me, pointing to his bunk.

 

“Not without you,” he says.

 

I roll my eyes and put a hand on my hip.  “Stop being difficult.  Up.”  Niall shrugs.  He quickly grabs my waist and swiftly lifts me up.  “Hey!” I protest, but I’m already in the bunk.

 

Niall enters quickly, laying on his side so I can’t get out over him.  Sliding the curtain closed and putting us in darkness, he grabs my waist and pulls me closer.  “If I sleep, you sleep.”

 

“You know that I’m not going to fall asleep,” I say flatly, turning in his arms so I’m facing the wall.  I cross my arms and jut out my lower lip when I feel his lips press to the back of my neck.

 

“Then you should know that I’m not going to fall asleep either.”

 

I sigh heavily.  “Fine,” I grumble, closing my eyes and taking deep breaths.

 

Niall’s grip tightens on my waist.  “Really?”

 

“Yes,” I sigh.  “I’ll fall asleep.”

 

“I love you,” he whispers, and I can practically hear the wide grin on his face.  I groan in response but meet his lips when he offers.  I turn back over and close my eyes.

 

He doesn’t know that I know how to act asleep.  I slow my breathing down, also slowing my heart rate.  After about three minutes I subtly add in quiet snores.  As I do, Niall’s body seems to relax and he lets out a deep breath.  His breathing slows and his grip loosens on my waist - I know then that he’s asleep.  I sigh heavily and carefully peel his arms from around me.  Carefully, I inch over him, closer to the curtain.  I don’t make it, though, because his arms snake around my waist, pulling me down on top of him.

 

“Two can play at the acting game,” he mumbles, nuzzling his face into my neck.

 

I groan.  _Then play the game we shall._


	24. Chapter 24

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

I have no idea how Maci has kept awake this long.  It is literally _killing_ me, and I’ve only gone through one night - well, morning - of it.  I’m running on four hours of sleep in one day, and she’s sitting here with barely three hours in _three_ days?  Something must really be messed up with her dreams.

 

I said I’d stay up with her, and I will.  I won’t fall asleep until she does, no matter what.  Plus, with that whole episode at the park…  Maci needs sleep, and she needs it soon.

 

“Helloooo,” Louis says, snapping in my my face.  “Earth to Nialler.  We’ve got a soundcheck to do.”

 

I swat his hand away and huff.  Grabbing the microphone Paul hands me, I walk to my place on the stage and run through the usual procedures.

 

_It’s going to be a long night._

 

 

 

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

“What’s wrong, Love?” Lou asks as she straightens another lock of my hair.

 

“Nothing,” I say casually, but the grimace on my face gives everything away.

 

“Don’t lie to her, Love,” Caroline says from the couch.  “She has a way of getting _everything_ out of anyone.”

 

Lou chuckles.  “Don’t listen to her.  I’m just here to listen to what you’ll tell me.”

 

I sigh.  “I wish I even knew,” I huff.

 

Lou tsks.  “Relationship issues?”

 

My eyes widen.  “Oh, no!  No, that’s not it at all!”

 

Lou giggles.  “Just checking.  What is it, then?”

 

“I’ve been having…  Nightmares lately,” I say hesitantly.  “About…  My father.”

 

Lou and Caroline gasp together.  “Love, that’s horrible!” Caroline says, hurrying to pull up a chair next to me.

 

“And…  Niall and Zayn are worried.”

 

“Why would they be too worried?” Lou asks curiously.

 

Caroline elbows her.  “What she _means_ to say, is ‘they’re just a few nightmares, why would it bother them so much’?”

 

“Well…” I hesitate, wondering if they’ll react as severely as Zayn and Niall had.  “I…  Every time a fall asleep, I have this nightmare.  And I hate it.  I can’t - won’t - have it.  So…  I’m not…  I’m not sleeping.”

 

“Maci!” Caroline scolds, taking my hand in hers.  “You’ve got to sleep!  It’s horrible for your health if you don’t.”

 

Yep, she reacted just as Niall and Zayn had.  Lou, on the other hand, nods her head.  “I understand,” she says.  Caroline shoots her a look that says ‘ _what are you talking about?’_.  “If I were having nightmares about something traumatic that happened to me,” Lou clarifies.  “Then I wouldn’t want to sleep either.  Granted, it _isn’t_ good for your health, but I know where you’re coming from, Maci.”

 

Caroline shakes her head.  “You can’t stay awake for the rest of your life no matter how hard you try,” she reasons.

 

“I know,” I reply.  “I’ve worked something out for that.”  I wince.  “But Niall found out about it, and now he’s determined to stay up with me.”

 

Lou tsks and shakes her head.  “I’m sorry, but you can’t let him do that.  He’s got shows and promotional appearances to work on.  Niall needs all the sleep that he can get.”

 

“I know,” I groan, rubbing my temple with my free hand.  “I’ve been trying since this morning to get him to sleep, but he just won’t.”  Not wanting to talk about it anymore, I bring up something different.  “He got me a guitar today.”

 

“That’s fantastic!” Caroline squeals, squeezing my hand.  “I know you love to play.”

 

I smile wryly.  “I do love to play.  A lot.  Niall’s taught me so much.”

 

“There we are,” Lou chirps, finishing the last of my hair.  She helps me stand to look in the mirror [[http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=69823181](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=69823181%5D)]

 

“I love it,” I tell Lou and Caroline, throwing my arms around their shoulders.

 

“You’re welcome,” they say together, giving me equally proud smiles.

 

The door to the dressing room opens and Louis, Harry, Liam, and Zayn all bounce in, full of energy and shouting about some unknown topic.  Then Niall walks in -

 

I suck in a breath when I see his condition.  He yawns loudly and rubs his eyes, straightening up when he sees me.  Niall forces his eyes open and comes over to me, giving me a sloppy kiss on the cheek.  He pulls away and smiles lazily.

 

My chest heaves.  “You need sleep,” I tell him, putting a hand on either side of his face.

 

“So do you,” he counters, making me sigh.  He’s right, but I can’t sleep.

 

“How long until the show?” I ask Paul as he steps in the room.  

 

He pulls out his phone.  “About an hour and a half.”

 

I nod.  “Thanks.”  I turn back to Niall, who’s zonked off.  “Niall, look at me.”  He lazily brings his gaze back to me.  “Time for a power-nap.”  I tug on his hand and bring him to the couch, pushing him to a laying position.  “Now sleep.”

 

I turn to walk away but his hand catches my wrist.  I let out a yelp as he tugs me down on top of him and wraps his arms around my waist.  “Not without you.”

 

“Erm - Niall,” I stutter.  My nose is squished against his, our lips just barely touching.  “Can you let me up?  I’d be careful with your nose.”

 

“It’s healed,” he mumbles, closing his eyes.

 

“Niall, let me up,”  I say, pushing against his chest.  His arms tighten around me and I grunt in frustration.  I turn my head and give Caroline a pleading look - she’d seen the whole interaction.

 

She chucks a box of clothing at Niall and it hits his face lightly.  This surprises him enough that I can roll outs of his embrace and get to my feet.  He groans and swipes the box away, reaching out for my hand that I pull away at the last second.

 

“Maci,” he grumbles, but I know he won’t get up.  He’s too worn out.

 

“Sleep,” I instruct, crossing my arms over my chest.

 

“No,” he says flatly, forcing his eyes open.  To my surprise, he pushes himself to his feet and stumbles on the box underfoot.

 

I steady him as he falls into me.  “Niall,” I groan.  “Please, you can’t stay awake.”

 

“Neither can you,” he counters, crossing his arms.

 

“But you have to perform,” I whine, mimicking his actions.

 

“But I love you,” he whispers, stepping closer.  “And if you suffer, I do too.”

 

My heart swells at his words.  Even though I know he needs to sleep, I feel myself giving in.  I’m too exhausted to argue with him.  “Fine,” I whisper, walking into his open arms.  “I love you too.  And I’m not suffering,” I add.

 

He chuckles.  “Staying awake _is_ torture, Love.”

 

 

\---

 

 

“Niall,” I sing-song, placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

 

“Watch the foundation,” Lou teases, brushing more powder over his face.

 

I roll my eyes and pat Niall’s shoulder.  “You’re the one who didn’t want to nap.  It’s time to stay awake, babe.  You’ve got a show in fifteen minutes.”

 

Niall lets out a groan and his head rolls to the side.  “I don’t know how you do it, Maci,” he grumbles.  “I couldn’t stay awake as long as you - not even if my dreams were bad.”

 

My chest tightens and my eyes prick, remembering the whole freak-out episode earlier today.  Zayn’s right - my father really is deep inside my head.  I quickly blink away any remnants of tears and suck in a deep breath.

 

“I do what I have to,” I mumble, not to anyone in particular.

 

 

 

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

“ _From the moment I met you,_

_Everything changed._

_I knew I had to get you,_

_Whatever the pain,”_

 

Liam starts _Stand Up,_ and Harry soon follows, along with my small part.  Even though I’ve got my In-Ears, the screams of the crowd mixed in with the music and my voice hurts my head.  As we hit the chorus and the noise increases, my head starts to pound.  My voice cracks noticeably and my face gets hot as I snag a water from a nearby stool and down it in seconds.  By then, the chorus has ended and Louis’ started his verse.

 

“ _I know your heart’s been broken_

_But don’t you give up._

_I’ll be there, yeah I know it_

_To fix you with love.”_

 

I open my mouth to sing my part, but it comes out incredibly shaky.  The noise starts to pound harder throughout my head, and my breath gets faster.  Liam gives me a questioning look as we go into the second chorus.  Then comes the bridge, where Zayn has his high part.  Don’t get me wrong, his voice is great.  But something about it tonight just makes my head spin.

 

I collapse onto the stool behind me and let out an _oof!_ Our drummer gives me a weird look, but I shake him off.  _I’m fine.  Just a little tired._   I let out the mother of all yawns as Zayn finishes his solo.  I try to squelch the yawn, but I can’t.  It drags into my part and the lads look at me with expressions saying, _‘What are you doing?’_.  My face turns beet red and I sing the last little bit of it, rejoining the lads at the front of the stage.  The song doesn’t end soon enough, and Zayn edges over to me.

 

“What are you doing, mate?” he whispers at me.

 

I shake my head.  “I don’t know.  Just a little tired, I guess.”

 

Understatement of my life.

 

Usually I get a kind of rush from being in front of a crowd, but I’m just not feeling it tonight.  I’ve been up since 3:30 - running on about four hours of sleep - and I’m literally about to pass out.  Finishing the concert seems out of the question at the moment.  I look over to the side of the stage to find Maci staring at me with wide eyes.  My chest pangs - I know what she’s thinking.  She thinks this is her fault, and I know it isn’t.  I choose to suffer.  And it’s not even really a choice for me.  If she suffers, I do - and I mean literally.

 

The beginning notes for _Moments_ start and I groan.  My energy feels like it’s been sucked out of me, and I don’t think I can do my solo.  As Liam starts his, I drift over to Zayn.

 

“Mate,” I whisper.  He looks at me expectantly.  “If I don’t make it through my part, I need you to sing it for me.”

 

Zayn’s face drops.  “You’re staying awake with her, aren’t you?”

 

“Well what am I supposed to do, let her suffer alone?” I hiss.  “I can’t stop her, so I’ll join her.  I love her, I’m not going to let her go through this alone.”

 

Zayn heaves a sigh as Harry starts to sing.  “I’ll sing it if I need to.  But we’re talking after this.”  I nod gratefully and drift back to my place.

 

I take a shaky breath and join the lads in the chorus.

 

“ _You know I’ll be_

_Your life, your voice_

_Your reason to be_

_My love.  My heart_

_Is breathing for this_

_Moment in time._

_I’ll find the words to say_

_Before you leave me today.”_

 

_You can do this, Nialler._ My chest constricts as I start my solo, shaking like a scared puppy.

 

“ _Shut the door._

_Throw the key._

_Don’t want to be reminded._

_Don’t want to be seen-”_

 

I’m cut off as my voice shakes and I stumble backward.  I’m exhausted.  I’ve never gone this long with this little sleep before, and it’s killing me.  It’s beyond me how Maci has lasted this long - but what her father has done _is_ horrible, and I can understand why she would have nightmares.

 

Relief floods through me as Zayn picks up my solo.  There are a couple sounds of frustration from the girls in the front row, but I try to ignore them.  I just can’t do it, not being this tired.  I catch several baffled looks from Liam, Harry, and Louis, but I shake them off.

 

Hesitantly, I look behind stage to find Maci.  I cringe when I see that her hands are clamped firmly over her mouth, her body shaking.  _She thinks it’s her fault.  It’s not her fault._   Even in the dim lighting of backstage, I can see the small tears glistening in her eyes.  All I want to do is go wrap her in my arms, but I can’t.  Louis’ solo starts and I’m forced to move over to where I’m supposed to, passing Harry on the way.

 

“What’s going on, mate?” he whispers.

 

“Tired,” I say weakly, then move away from him as the chorus starts.  I join in, my voice wavering with exhaustion.

 

Halfway through, my eyes start to shut - despite the screams of the crowd and the blaring music.  I force them open and do a couple jumping-jacks.  A few of the girls in the front row scream, but I ignore them and move to my next place.  I sneak a glance backstage again.  But Maci isn’t there.

 

My stomach drops as _Up All Night_ starts.

 

Oh boy


	25. Chapter 25

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

I can’t take it anymore after Niall looks at me.  He just looks so tired, so helpless, and most of all - embarrassed.  He’d flubbed his solo, because he’s exhausted.  Because of me.  He’s embarrassed, because of me.

 

My legs carry my down the halls at a sprint, even in my heels.  Several sounds of surprise met my ears as I flew past a group of people tending to the soundboards.  I’m not really sure where I aim to go, but before I know it I’m in Caroline’s arms, sobbing into her shoulder.

 

“Oh, my!” she exclaims, taking in my distressed form.  “Love, what’s the matter?”

 

“I-I-” I stutter, my shoulders trembling.  “N-Niall is e-exhausted bec-cause of m-me!  And he c-couldn’t d-do his solo, and h-he’s emb-barrassed!  Bec-cause of m-me!”

 

“Oh, Love,” Caroline coos, stroking my hair soothingly.  She leads us over to the couch and I curl up, my head resting in her lap as I shake with sobs.  “It’s not your fault.”

 

“How is it not!?” I cry.  “These d-damn n-nightmares are bec-cause I’m too afraid t-to f-face my father.  I’m s-staying up because I’m t-too af-fraid to s-see him ag-gain!  A-and now Niall th-thinks he h-has to stay up w-with me, and it’s j-just all my fault!”

 

“Love,” she says, trying to quiet me.  “Niall is more than capable of making his own decisions, with or without anyone’s input.  I guarantee that this is his own fault, no matter how awful that sounds.”

 

I shake my head.  “I-it _is_ my f-fault!”

 

“I can say for certain he’ll tell you differently.”

 

I let this set into my mind for a long time, hearing the loud concert music in the background.  It’s taunting me - there’s a large lack of Niall’s voice.  My breathing slowly returns back to normal though, my tears finally drying.

 

“I love him so much,” I say.  “But I don’t know why he feels like he has to go to such lengths for me.  I mean, this is his _job_ we’re talking about here!  I can’t have him put his career on the line just for my stupid fears.”

 

“He loves you, Maci.  I think at this point he’d jump off a bridge for you.”  I wince at the reference, but Caroline doesn’t seem to notice.  “This is in no way your fault - this is about Niall and the decisions he makes.  And if that’s helping you through you suffering, then he’s willing to do virtually anything.”

 

I let out a heavy sigh.  “I just don’t want to see him throw it all down the drain just for me.”

 

“It’s just one concert, Love,” she says, patting my head.  “I’m sure no one will hate him forever for not being spot-on for one night.”

 

I ignore her comment.  “I would honestly rather let him go to pursue his career than to throw it all away to put up with me and my petty fears.”

 

“Maci,” she says.  “First, he’s not ‘putting up with you’.  He loves you, and that means loving everything about you.  Second, your fears are absolutely _not_ petty.  They are very real - though not completely rational, everyone understands.  And third,” she turns my head to face her.  “Letting him go would be the hardest thing you’ve ever done - I know that for a fact.  I’ve seen the way you two care for each other, seen the way you two interact.  Letting him leave would tear not only him apart, but it would tear _you_ apart.”

 

I shut my eyes tight, just wanting this whole nightmare to be over.  I don’t want to have nightmares, I don’t want Niall to lose sleep over me, I don’t want to be here crying.  I want to be watching the boy I love do the thing that he loves.  I want for everything to be right.  But that sort of thing just doesn’t happen to me.

 

“I have to go back to the bus,” I whisper, moving to get up.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay and talk about it?” Caroline questions, standing up with me.

 

I nod.  “I’m sure.  I just want to go someplace without people right now.”

 

She nods in understanding, walking me to the door.  I open it and start down the hall.  “Maci?” Caroline calls after me.  I turn, sniffing and wiping a bit of makeup from under my right eye.  “I’m always here, if you need any kind of help.  Anything at all, just tell me what you need.”

 

I give her a weak smile.  “Thank you,” I whisper.  She blows me a kiss and ducks back into the dressing room.  I turn and speed walk the rest of the way to the bus.

 

As I open the door, an immense tiredness falls over me.  My eyes already have closed and I can’t open them no matter how hard I try.  I’ve had three hours of sleep in four days - that’s it.  Add to that the two tear-fests I’ve had today - I can’t even make it to the couch.  Collapsing to the ground in the middle of the floor, I try to pull out my phone to set an alarm, but it’s too late.  I lose consciousness before I even unlock my phone.

 

 

_“You can’t run from me Maci,” he says, his hot breath on my neck chilling me to the bone.  “I’m everywhere.”_

 

 

I shoot upright, crying out quietly as my head collides with the top of the bunk.  Breathing a sigh of relief as I realize that I’m on the tour bus, I lay back down.  _Wait, I’m in the bunk_.

 

My hand reaches for my phone next to me on the pillow.  The bus tires can subtly be heard against the highway road as I click it open - 9:13.  The concert ended about twenty minutes ago.  _Oh God.  The concert._

 

My eyes prick, remembering what had happened.  Niall flubbed his solo, because he’s exhausted.   Because of me.  And he’d been embarrassed.  Also because of me.  Me and my stupid fears.  What is wrong with me!?

 

I blink away the tears, wiping at my eyes.  In the dim light I can see a ton of mascara rub off on my fingers, and I grimace.  No matter how exhausted I am, after _another_ dream, I’m not going back to sleep.  Might as well wash up.

 

I carefully roll out of the bunk, my feet landing softly on the floor.  I don’t see the boys anywhere, but I hear Paul’s deep voice at the front of the bus.  Digging in my duffel, I pull out a pair of pajamas [[http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_17/set?id=69067131](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_17/set?id=69067131%5D)] and some makeup wipes.  I pad to the bathroom and wipe all the remnants of my mascara off, changing as well.  Taking a deep breath, I look at myself in the mirror.

 

I grimace as I see the bags under my eyes, grown a darker color in contrast to this morning.  I look completely exhausted - worn, scared, helpless.  Sighing shakily, I open the bathroom door.  I’m about to walk back to the bunk when I hear the hushed voices of the boys coming from the back room.  I just notice that the door is closed, and I creep up carefully to avoid being heard.  Just as I reach out to open the door, something stops me.

 

“Nialler,” Harry’s voice says.  “This isn’t good for you.  You’ve got to sleep.”

 

“Not without Maci,” Niall’s voice states.

 

“Mate,” Zayn’s voice sighs.  “She’s not sleeping.  And when she does, it’s for so short a time she can’t even _dream_.”

 

“She’s going through a rough time,” Niall explains, sadness in his voice.  My chest tightens at his words.  He shouldn’t feel sorry for me - he’s the one who needs sleep.

 

“And you can’t help her through it until you’ve gotten proper sleep,” Liam counters.  “Neither of you are thinking straight anymore.”

 

Niall scoffs.  “You can’t sit there and tell me that you wouldn’t do the same thing for Danni.  Or Perrie, or El.”

 

“You’re right, I can’t,” Liam replies.  “But there comes a certain point where you have to use your head.  Mate, you can’t help her if you’re not thinking straight.”

 

“I’m thinking _fine_ ,” Niall snaps, making me wince.  Liam is right, Niall’s not thinking clearly.  He needs sleep.

 

“That may be true,” Louis pipes up.  “But the concert tonight - I’ve never seen you like that.  That was horrible just to watch.”

 

“You looked like you were going to faint,” Harry agrees.  “You’re tired beyond belief, and you know it.  No one can sing like that.”

 

“This isn’t about singing,” Niall says, ice in his voice.  “This is about Maci, the girl I _love_.”

 

“We’re on _tour_ , Niall,” Zayn fires back.  “I know you love Maci - we all care about her.  But being here is about singing, not focusing on something that heals with time.”

 

“She is my _girlfriend_ , Zayn!” Niall shouts, and my chest tightens.  “I care about her more than anything, and I suffer if she does!”

 

“More than our music?” Liam questions, his voice level.

 

“Yes!” Niall answers without hesitation, creating a deafening silence.

 

_Oh my God._   I stumble back from the door, breathing hard.  _I’m getting in the way of Niall’s singing.  I’m the reason he messed up tonight.  I’m the reason for the argument behind the door._

 

Zayn sighs heavily.  “We have a show in Austin tomorrow.  Just one more in America, then we catch a flight in Houston and we’re off for the rest of Europe.  Just… Please get some sleep tonight.”

 

“Not without Maci,” Niall says harshly.

 

That’s about all I can take.  My bottom lip quivers as I dive into Niall’s bunk.  He’s being awful to the boys.  He’s changing.  _Because of me._   I’m the reason that he’s snapping at his four best friends.  Niall’s _bandmates_.  I’m getting in the way of his _job_.

 

I shove my face into his pillow and start to bawl.  A part of me wants so badly to blame my father for this all happening, but I know that part of me is wrong.  I’m letting him torture me, and that’s my own fault.  It just so happens that I’m hurting someone else in the process.  I just wish I knew how to fix it.

 

I hear the door to the back room open softly and I immediately stifle my cries.  Curling into a ball on my side, I hear the curtain swish open and feel a pressure on the mattress behind me.  Niall’s strong arms wrap around my middle, drawing me closer to him.  My chest tightens and tears brim my eyes, feeling incredibly guilty.  I start to snivel and my bottom lip trembles, giving me completely away.  I let out a cross between a cough and a sob, letting the tears flow from my eyes.  Niall’s body goes rigid, but he quickly recovers and wraps his arms tighter around me.

 

“Shh,” he says, stroking my hair.  “It’s alright, Love.  I’m right here.  I’ll always be here.  We’ll get through this together.”

 

_Getting through it together will only hurt you._   But I can’t bring myself to say it.  The boys are right - this is hurting Niall.  _I’m_ hurting Niall.  My eyes are shut tight as my chest pangs with emotional pain.  He turns me around and kisses my forehead.

 

“Wake up, Love.”

 

_He thinks I’m asleep_.  My eyes open carefully, but I can’t see him very well through my tears.  I let out a small sob as he hugs me tighter, pressing my face into his chest.

 

“It’s alright,” he coos.  “You’re safe, Love.  We’ll get through this.”

 

“I-I’m so s-sorry,” I whisper between sobs, taking two fist-fulls of his t-shirt.

 

“What do you have to be sorry for?” he asks, meant to be a rhetorical question.

 

_Everything.  I’m sorry for everything._

 

 

 

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

Maci’s sobs eventually calm down and she relaxes into me.  Despite the fact that I’m steaming mad at the lads, seeing Maci in this state makes me put those feelings aside.  But that doesn’t mean I can stop thinking about it.

 

I mean, I know I’m tired.  Almost impossibly so.  I couldn’t even sing my solo, my head hurt so bad.  But Maci needs me.  I’ve said it many times, and I’ll say it again.  If Maci suffers, I suffer too.

 

But even so, I feel my breath deepening and my eyelids start to droop.  I must seem like a wimp.  I’ve only been up since 3:30 this morning, and it’s about 9:30 at night.  That’s eighteen hours.  I’ve had four hours of solid sleep, and I couldn’t even do a concert.  Maci is here, trucking through with three hours in four days.  I seem pathetic.  I have to stay awake for her, no matter what it takes.

 

My eyes close as she shifts.  I feel her pull away slightly, and I feel her eyes on my face.  Right as I’m about to pull Maci closer again, I feel her shrug my arms off.  My eyebrows furrow and I hear her sigh heavily.  A soft pair of lips presses lightly to my forehead, and the mattress shifts.  The place beside me is abruptly emptied as I feel her carefully climb over me.  The curtain opens quietly and a pair of feet tap against the floor and pad up to the front room.

 

“Goodnight,” I hear Paul mumble as he shuffles back to his bunk.  The lads had said their goodnights earlier, and they were probably already asleep.

 

I listen closely to my surroundings for a while, wondering why Maci got up.  Probably just to use the bathroom.  Only minutes later, Paul is snoring along with the rest of the lads.  Then I hear the sound of a guitar playing softly.  _Maci_.

 

I hurry to get out of bed, getting tangled in the covers in the process.  My body is weak from lack of sleep, so it takes me quite a while to kick them off of me, but I finally manage to as I hear Maci start to hum.  I lightly lower myself to the ground and peek into the dark front room.  Maci sits at the couch, strumming on the guitar I bought her.

 

I recognize the chords and the melody as one of our songs.  It’s an acoustic version of _Moments._   Her beautiful voice softly fills the room, just barely reaching my ears.

 

“ _You know I’ll be_

_Your life,_

_Your voice,_

_Your reason to be_

_My love.  My heart_

_Is breathing for this_

_Moment in time._

_I’ll find the words to say_

_Before you leave me today.”_

 

My eyes close as I listen to her carefully.  Her amazing voice carries out the melodies and lyrics perfectly, as if she had written it herself.  I hear the guitar strings fumble a bit as she starts into my part of the song.

 

“ _Shut the door._

_Throw the key._

_Don’t want to be reminded._

_Don’t want to be seen._

_Don’t want to be without you._

_My judgement’s clouded._

_Light tonight’s sky.”_

 

I hear her take a shaky breath and let out a sort of strangled noise.  Watching her face carefully, I see tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

 

“ _Hands are silent._

_Voices numb._

_Try to scream out_

_My love,_

_It makes this harder._

_And the tears stream_

_Down my face-”_

 

She chokes out the last word, the guitar ceasing to play.  Her shoulders start to shake, and I’m frozen for a moment.  I watch as her eyes close and a single tear falls down her face, snapping me back to my senses.  Wasting no time, I quietly make my way over to Maci, sitting on the couch and wrapping my arms around her.

 

She jumps, telling me I’ve surprised her.  “It’s okay, Love,” I say quietly, pulling her closer.  “I’m here.”

 

Taking me by surprise, she pulls away.  “Please go to bed, Niall.”

 

The serious look on Maci’s face throws me off.  “W-what?”

 

“Please go to bed, Niall,” she repeats, pulling away more.

 

I blink once, twice, then shake my head.  “Not unless you are too-”

 

“-Go to bed, Niall,” she says firmly.  Maci sets her guitar in its case and slides it carefully aside.

 

“I’m not going if you’re not,” I say.  “If you suffer-”

 

“If I suffer, you suffer,” she says, exasperated.  “I’ve heard it before.  The thing is Niall, is I’m not suffering.  I’m coping.  I’m dealing with it.”

 

“This,” I gesture to her.  “Is not dealing with it.  Staying up for days is not _coping_.  It’s called running.  And wherever you go, I’ll go with you.”

 

“I’m not _going_ anywhere, Niall,” she says, looking away.  There’s a long pause before she speaks again, still looking at the ground.  “Go to bed.  You’re tired.”

 

I cup her chin and gently turn her to face me.  “So are you.”

 

Maci jerks her head away.  “I know I am, Niall,” she says harshly.  “But that doesn’t mean you have to be.

 

“Yes.  It does.”

 

She shakes her head sadly.  “This is hurting you Niall - more than it is me, and you know it.  You couldn’t sing tonight because you’re too tired.  You have a show tomorrow, and then a whole tour in Europe.  There’s no way you can stay up with me.”

 

I get up to go to the fridge.  Snagging a Pepsi, I walk back to the couch.  “If there’s a will, there’s a way,” I say, putting my finger under the tab.

 

“Niall,” Maci says, stopping my hand by resting hers on it.  “Stop this.  Now.  Go.  To.  Bed.”

 

“Not.  Without.  You.”

 

She lets out a frustrated grunt.  “Why are you being like this?” she says, her voice rising in pitch.

 

“Because I love you,” I say, taking Maci’s hand in mine and kissing it softly.

 

“I love you too,” she mumbles, staring down and the floor.  She takes a deep breath.  “If I go to sleep, you promise you’ll follow suit?”

 

I smile widely, feeling my eyelids already start to droop.  “I promise.”

 

A heavy sigh escapes Maci’s lips as she pulls out her phone.  I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her down on top of me in a laying position.  She lets out a bit of a giggle, but quickly unlocks her phone and sets an alarm for twenty minutes.

 

“What are you doing?” I ask hesitantly.

 

She looks at me out of the corner of her eye.  “If I wake up before my dream cycle starts, I can avoid the nightmares.”

 

I shake my head.  “You shouldn’t do that.”

 

“I have to, that’s how I’m choosing to cope.”  She sets her phone on the sofa next to my shoulder, pressing the ‘START’ button.  The numbers start to tick down and I pull her closer.

 

“I love you,” I whisper in her ear.  She doesn’t have a chance to reply before her eyelids shut and she’s consumed by sleep.

 

I wait a couple minutes before carefully picking up her phone.  Unlocking it, I scroll to the alarm app and look at the time.  She’ll be walking up in eighteen minutes.  That’s horrible.  I look from her to the phone, her to the phone.  I finally make a decision, squeezing her shoulders and gently kissing her forehead.

 

I make sure to click the ‘ALARM OFF’ button before closing my eyes and letting myself drift off into sleep.


	26. Chapter 26

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

_“This is so wonderful,” I say, biting into the chicken Niall hands me.  “Where did you get this?”_

 

_“It’s from Nandos,” he says with a chuckle.  “My favorite.”_

 

_“Well it might just have to be my favorite too,” I tell him honestly, making him chuckle again._

 

_I look around at the beautiful park we’re in and play with the edge of the plaid blanket we’re sitting on.  The whole scene is cliche, yet I love it anyway._

 

_Oh God.  Not again._

 

_The tree overhead provides some shade from the powerful sun, and the smell of blooming flowers fills the air.  I set down the piece of chicken and wipe my hands off with a napkin._

 

_“I love you,” I tell him, and he takes my hand._

 

_“I lo-”_

 

_“Maci,” I hear someone growl behind me, and Niall’s face twists into one of confusion and anger._

 

_My stomach drops as I recognize the voice.  As if on cue, the whole sky darkens a shade and the soft wind stops blowing.  The smell of flowers disappears and is replaced by the smell of my own fear.  Oh God.  Oh no._

 

_I start to shake with fear, my stomach knotting like crazy.  Why is he here?  What does he want?_

 

_I release Niall’s hand and slowly turn as I stand, coming face to face with my father._

 

_“Dad,” I say, my voice shaking._

 

_I take in his tall form.  It feels like he’s gained six inches, now towering a full foot above me.  He’s wearing all black, only making his aura darker._

 

_Why does he always have to invade my dreams!?_

 

_I don’t smell any alcohol from him - that means he’s sober.  Usually when he’s sober he apologizes, but I sense no sign of remorse in the way he’s glaring at me._

 

_“He doesn’t love you,” my father snarls, taking a step closer._

 

_I stumble back a bit.  This feels like a dagger in my chest.  I know my father is wrong.  Niall loves me.  He’s here for me, whenever I need him.  I tell myself this over and over, finally feeling some of the emotional pain slip away._

 

_“You’re wrong,” I say flatly.  I spin around and reach for Niall’s hand._

 

_Only he’s not there._

 

_My hand closes around nothing, and my mouth drops open.  I do a full 360, trying to find Niall - but he’s nowhere in sight.  I cringe, thinking about what’s going to happen - I’m alone with my father.  And this didn’t end well last time.  Oh God._

 

_“Where’s lover boy now?” my father mocks behind me.  He lets out a cruel laugh as he strides the rest of the distance to me, and I can feel his hot breath on my neck._

 

_I cringe, the pain in my chest returning.  Where’s Niall?  Where is the boy I love?  Oh my God.  What’s going to happen!?_

 

_“I think it’s about time we finish what we started, huh Maci?” he hisses._

 

 _I don’t even bother turning around.  Instead, I make a mad dash for any place away from here.  Away from_ him _.  I hear his throaty laugh behind me._

 

_“You can’t run from me Maci.  I’m everywhere.”_

 

 _My chest heaves and my head whips back to look behind me.  But what I see - or more like what I_ don’t _see - makes me stop dead.  My father is gone.  Just like Niall had disappeared, my father is gone.  I’m not convinced yet, though.  I have to go find Niall - now._

 

_Still looking back, I take a full stride before connecting with something.  I stumble back, trying to gain my balance again as I look at what stopped me.  Lo and behold, my father has impossibly reappeared in front of me._

 

_“Like I said, Maci,” he says, grabbing my forearms roughly.  “You can’t run from me.”  I let out a whimper and my bottom lip quivers.  Tears cloud my vision but I don’t dare let one fall._

 

_“Everywhere you go,” he continues, his eyes boring into mine, “I’ll always find you.  There’s no where that you can go to be free of me.  And Niall can’t help you.  Not now, not ever.”_

 

_I let out a blood-curdling scream as my father pushes me to the ground, straddling me so I can’t get up._

 

 

I wake up with a sharp yelp, pushing myself off of someone in the darkness.  Their arms fall limply from around me and I shoving myself away, across the room.  My back hits the far wall and I sink down to the floor as the person on the couch sits up.

 

“Wha-”  they groan, rubbing their head.  “Maci, what’s wrong?”

 

“Niall,” I breathe, curling into a ball.  My heart pounds fast and my hands shake.

 

“Maci,” he says, his voice thick with sleep.  “What happened?”

 

“I…  I…”  I struggle for the words, my own mind sluggish from having just woken up.  My reaction wasn’t conscious - more like a instinct.

 

“You can tell me, Love,” Niall whispers, walking over clumsily as the bus shifts slightly under his feet.  “It’s okay.”  He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close.

 

“I…  I had a nightmare,” I manage to say, my brain just recognizing the thought.   

 

I don’t know why I’m not crying.  Usually, my initial reaction is to cry out of fear - cry until my mind is sure that the threat is gone.  But now, this is not the case.  Instead, I feel a dull fear inside, along with distress and tiredness.  Not a sleepy tired - the type of tiredness that comes with repetition.  I’ve had dream after dream of this - this _same_ scene - over and over, and it’s getting exhausting.  The distress and fear only add to it.

 

“I’m sorry,” Niall says, pulling me tighter to his chest.  “I didn’t know you would have a nightmare like that.”  He turns his head away.  Lowering his tone so I can barely hear his next words, he says, “I should have never turned that damned thing off.”

 

 _Huh?_   “What do you mean?” I question slowly.  “Turn what off?”

 

His head turns back to me, his eyes wide and apologetic.  “Uh…” he hesitates, scratching the back of his head.  “That’s not important.”

 

“Yes it is, Niall,” I say, pushing back to get a better look at his face in the dim lighting.

 

He grimaces and the corners of his mouth tip down.  “I…  Iturnedyouralarmoff.”

 

I don’t understand what he said one bit.  My mind isn’t working fast enough right now to decipher what the blurb means.  “What?” I ask, furrowing my eyebrows.

 

“I turned your alarm off, Maci.”

 

I simply stare at him, realizing that my alarm had not woken me up before I started dreaming.  Positive I had set it, I push away from him and to the couch where my phone sits.  “Maci,” he says, getting up.  “What are you doing?”

 

I don’t answer as I unlock the phone.  I open the alarm app to find what I’d subconsciously been expecting - the alarm to be turned off.  My mind goes numb with thoughts as I slowly lock the phone and set it down gently on the couch.

 

_Niall knows about my nightmares.  He knows that I can’t fall asleep for longer than my alarm.  He knows that my dreams torment me.  He knows that they’re the reason I’ve been staying up.  He knows that my father is still taking control of me.  He knows._

 

_So why would he open me up to them?_

 

“Maci,” he pleads, still sitting where I’d left him.  “Please say something.”

 

It takes a few second, but I finally get my tired - yet wide awake - mind to come up with something to say.  “Niall, you know that I can’t handle them,” I say, my hands beginning to shake at my sides.  I don’t say exactly what, but I can tell that he knows what I mean because he winces noticeably.

 

“Maci,” he says, standing unsteadily because of the bus’ motion.  “I didn’t mean to-”

 

“-Niall, you knew,” I interrupt him.  “They happen every time I fall asleep.”

 

“I- I just-” he stammers, lacing his hands behind his neck and looking down at the ground.  “I just wanted you to get some more sleep.”

 

“I can’t _get_ any sleep,” I say, gritting my teeth.  I can feel tears pricking at the back of my eyes and my hands tremble even more.  “Those nightmares wake me up no matter what, so why _try_ to sleep?”

 

“Because you need it, Maci,” he sighs, looking back up at me with his amazing blue eyes.

 

“No,” I say as calmly as I can.  “ _You_ need it.  _You’re_ the famous singer.  _You’re_ the one putting on concerts.  I’m just a girlfriend lucky enough to tag along, then go and screw it up.”

 

“You’re not just a girlfriend,” he says slowly.  Niall takes a few steps toward me, almost cautiously.  “You’re _my_ girlfriend.  You’re the one I love.  And you haven’t screwed it up, Maci.  You’ve done the exact opposite.”

 

My heart swells and my bottom lip quivers.  How does he always know just the right thing to say?  I shouldn’t be getting this mad.  I should let it go because he was only trying to watch out for me.  All he’s ever done is treated me right.  Nonetheless, I feel myself get heated.

 

“I have not done the opposite,” I fire back.  “Look where we are, Niall.”  I gesture around the room with my shaking hands.  “We’re not in your bunk, sleeping.  We’re in the living room of the tour bus in the middle of the night.  Both of us aren’t sleeping, and it’s because of me.  So don’t you dare go and say that this is okay with you, because I know darn well that it’s not.”

 

“If you suffer-”

 

“-So do you,” I say, exasperated.  “You’ve said that so many times, Niall.  The problem is that I don’t suffer!  Staying up for this long and getting small amounts of sleep is actually helping me _not_ suffer.  Those nightmares are the cause of my pain, and not having them is a blessing!”

 

“Staying awake isn’t the answer,” he says softly, taking another step so that he’s now only a few feet away.

 

“For _you,_ Niall,” I say, crossing my arms.  “Staying awake isn’t the answer for _you_.  I can live with little sleep, as long as I’m not having nightmares.”

 

“Look at yourself, Maci!” he sighs.  “You’ve gotten only three hours of sleep in four days.  You’ve got bags under your eyes, you’re zonking out whenever your mind feels like it, and you’re tearing yourself apart!  You can’t stand there and lie directly to my face - those nightmares aren’t going away because you’re not dealing with them.  You’re running from him, Maci.  You need to face him, and they’ll go away.”

 

“They’ll never go away!” I snap.  I can tell my tone surprises both of us, and I immediately soften.  “Those nightmares will never go away.  I can feel it.  The only solution is to not have them.”

 

“They’re something we can work through,” Niall says, taking my hand in his.  

 

I look away, afraid to meet his loving gaze.  All I’m being is horrible to him.  He’s stayed up with me for longer than his body can manage, and I’m yelling at him like a brat.  I don’t deserve him - I never will.

 

“Go to bed, Niall,” I whisper, letting his hand go.  “Please, go to sleep so I don’t have another huge weight on my chest.”  I start to choke up at the last word and feel the tears flood to the front of my eyes.

 

“I can’t do that,” he replies softly, taking a step forward so he’s only about a foot away.  “Not without you.”

 

He reaches out to me slowly, but I step away.  “You’re going to have to,” I say quietly, still looking at the ground.  “I’m not sleeping, not after that nightmare.”

 

“Then neither am I,” Niall states.

 

I grow the courage to look up at him.  His expression is determined, no sign of leeway to argue in his eyes.  “Please,” I breathe as he wraps an arm around my waist and puts his forehead to mine.

 

“I think this is the only time that I’m ever going to say no to you,” he says, and I can’t find the energy to fight him back.

 


	27. Chapter 27

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

********************THE NEXT DAY********************

 

 

I don’t know if any of you have ever felt like you’re causing the pain of the person you love.  I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like dying while looking at them, unbelievably deep bags under their eyes, a yawn every twenty seconds, their hands shaking with exhaustion.  I don’t know if you’ve ever had the weight of terrible nightmares added onto that torture.  If you have, I’m so sorry.  I can only imagine that you feel as horrible - as worthless and pitiful - as I do.  If you haven’t - Lord have mercy on you.

I know it’s killing him - staying awake, I mean.  He’s running on three and a half hours of sleep, something he’s not used to at all.  Niall needs more sleep than the average person, that’s just a fact that I’ve come to learn.  He thinks he’s the one that’s pathetic for not being able to stay awake, but that’s not the case.  I’m the pathetic one for making him stay up this long.

He has a job to do, concerts to sing in.  But judging from the last one, he can’t perform when he’s tired.  It’s killing me, seeing him staring off into space, holding tightly onto my hand.  Niall sways back and forth with the subtle moves of the bus, but he won’t lay down no matter what.

“Please,” I whisper, squeezing his hand.  “Please go to sleep.  You need to, Nialler.  The concert is in six hours, and you need sleep.”

He stares off for a while before slowly turning his head to me.  “Will you sleep?”

I hesitate.  “No,” I say slowly.

“Then you have your answer.”

I sigh, checking my phone.  _2:04_ in the afternoon.  The other boys and Paul are all still sleeping, surprisingly _._ My guilt increases by the minute, watching his eyes grow further and further distant as he gets more and more tired.  Niall has the same answer every time I ask him to fall asleep.  ‘Not without me’.  I’m the reason he’s distant.  I’m the reason he messed up at the concert.  I’m the reason for his current sleep deprivation.  What hurts the most is that I can’t stop his pain without torturing myself with my own fears.

I take his face in my hands.  “Please, Nialler.  I love you - so much.  I’m so thankful that you would do this for me.  But it’s time that you stop.  Just go to bed.”

“I’ll never stop doing things for you,” he says lazily, placing a sloppy kiss on my lips.

I smile sadly, wishing that Niall were lying.  I can’t have him keep doing things for me.  It’s tearing him apart.  _I’m_ tearing him apart.  I have to look away, not letting him see the small tears form in my eyes.  Niall doesn’t notice, just stares blankly out the window.  I don’t know how much more I can take of this.  I would rather never see him again than have him sabotage his career just for me.

Wait - did I just think that?  Did I really just say that I would rather never see him again…  Oh God.  Even though it’s true, I don’t want to think like that.  But I also don’t want Niall to fail.  Ugh!  I just don’t know what to do!  I don’t know how to help him without tearing myself apart, but if I don’t do _something_ , _he’ll_ unravel.

“Niall,” I say, squeezing his hand to get his attention.  He slowly turns his head, watching me with his eyes somewhat glazed over.  A pang stabs through my chest and I stifle a sniff.  “Do you really want what happened in San Diego to happen here?”

Niall seems to think for a moment before shrugging.  “As long as I’m helping you, it doesn’t matter.”

My chest tightens.  He’s just tired, he doesn’t mean that.  Niall needs to focus on his job - on his career.  He cares.  Doesn’t he?  There’s no way I would ever get in the way of that, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.  _Ruin someone’s career_ definitely isn’t on my bucket list.

Oh God, now I’m rambling, frantically trying to make excuses for myself.  Whether I mean to or not, I’m getting in the way - of everything.  I’m more tired than I thought.  My mind snaps back to the tour bus, Niall barely keeping his eyes open beside me.  The corners of my mouth tip down as he attempts to give me a reassuring smile, but it just ends up a clumsy grimace.

“I love you,” he says tiredly, putting a hand on my cheek.  I turn my face to kiss his palm softly as a curtain noisily slides open.

“Paul!” Louis’ voice yells, followed by the sound of two feet on the floor.  “I’m hungry!  When’s breakfast?”

“Lou!” Niall shouts.  “It’s two in the afternoon.”

“Okayy…  Erm, I want lunch!”

“Go back to bed, Louis,” I hear Paul groan.

“Wake up!” Louis snaps.  “It is the _afternoon_ , and I’m _hungry.”_

 _“_ Would you like some cheese with that _whine?_ ” Paul growls, sending Louis cautiously out into the front room.

“Actually,” Louis says sassily, turning around to face the bunk area, “yes, I would like some cheese.”

When Paul doesn’t answer Louis ‘humph’s and turns around, stomping to the fridge.  He throws the door open and pulls out a Pepsi, popping it open and chugging it down before turning to us.  I see his expression falter as his gaze lands on Niall, obviously taking in his horribly tired form.

“You look tired, Nialler,” he says.  I wince, not having forgotten the conversation shared between the boys last night.

I see Niall flash him a glare and Louis shuts up.  My chest heaves as I see this, remembering how Niall had been toward the boys.  He had been so defensive of himself and I, even though the boys were only trying to watch out for him.  _You’re tearing them all apart, Maci._

I wince as my heart and brain tug in two completely different directions.  My heart says stay with Niall because you love him.  My head says don’t get in the way of anything anymore.  I listen to both, but my mind is screaming louder.

I have to figure out a way get him to sleep without making myself suffer too much - whatever I have to do, I’ll do it.

 

 

 

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

I’m not sure how much longer I can stand this ‘not sleeping’ thing.  I’ll hold out as long as I can for Maci, but I can tell it’s killing her.  It’s killing me even more that she thinks the slip-ups are her fault.  I make my own choices, and choices have consequences.  It just so happens that I chose these consequences.

 

 

 

~*Zayn’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

“Would you like some cheese with that _whine?”_ Paul growls, waking me.

“Actually,” Louis says, and I can practically hear the hand on his hip.  “Yes, I would like some cheese.”

I suck in a deep breath while stretching out as much as I can in the small bunk.  Rubbing my eyes tiredly, I thank God for the extra time I got to sleep in today.  The boys and I were pretty worn out last night, and we have to travel all day today.  Checking the time on my phone, I sigh.  We have to be there for sound check in just under six hours, and I’m disappointed I woke up so soon.  I hope that the boys are enjoying their long sleep.

Then I remember the conversation we had with Niall last night.  Why is Niall being so difficult?  I mean, I know his girlfriend is having nightmares.  For Pete’s sake, she’s not even sleeping!  But honestly, Niall knows he needs sleep - we _all_ know he needs sleep, even Maci.  I’ve heard her ask him so many times, but he says no to even her.

I rub my temples, not wanting to think about it, but I can’t help but worry about one of my best mates.  He loves Maci, anyone can see that.  It just sucks it worked out that she was abused by her father, and is now having horrible nightmares that are so bad she chooses not to sleep.  I guess half of me had been expecting Niall to eventually figure out and pull a rash move like this - I just hadn’t thought it’d be on our _tour_.

I roll over onto my side, checking my phone.  I reply to an ‘I miss you’ text from Perrie then stare at the dark screen, my mind drifting to Niall and Maci’s unfortunate situation.

The nightmares are bad enough to keep Maci - one of the strongest people I’ve ever met - up at night.  Niall is determined to stay up with her, even though they both know it’s a bad idea.  To tell you the complete truth, I don’t think Maci is being forceful enough with him.  She needs to lay down the line and tell him that the nightmares are her problem, and he needs more time than he has at the time to fix  it.  Stuff like this  doesn’t just disappear with little coaxing.  It needs time and a bit of nudging to get it all out.  More nudging than we’re able to give at the moment.  

Niall thinks he’s trying to help, but he’s only hurting himself and Maci.  Yes, I know Maci is suffering.  Who wouldn’t be in her position?  She’s not pushing it on anyone else - for the most part she won’t talk to anyone about it.  Which is why Niall needs to let it go until she’s ready.  There’s no point in him staying up way too long for nothing, in addition to being too tired for concerts.  We can’t have him like this, it worries us.  I hate to sound cruel, but no one wants to see him throw this kind of thing down the drain for a girl that he’s worried about - she’s a special girl, but still.

I tried talking to him last night with the boys, but he obviously doesn’t want to hear it.  The only person he really listens to is Maci anyway.  Niall’s stance is clear that he’s not going to sleep until she does, and that’s going to hurt him terribly.  I have to get him to hear it from someone else, someone that he’ll actually listen to.  Suddenly an idea hits me.  I whip out my phone and scroll through my contacts pulling up the name.  Sighing heavily, I type in the whole message, but can’t bring myself to send it.

 _You’re doing this for the good of your best mate.  There’s nothing wrong with caring._ I’m not sure what the reaction I get will be, and I hear a ping on a phone in the front room a few seconds after I send it.  I hope I’m doing the right thing by talking to her about it.

 

_To Maci W.:We need to talk about Niall, now._

 

 

 

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

My phone pings on the couch next to me and my eyebrows shoot up.  This is the first text I’ve gotten since I left Florida.  I don’t have anyone in my contacts beside the boys, Paul, Lou, Caroline, and…  My father.

 

But I know it can’t be my father.  If he hasn’t texted by now - a month since I left - then he won’t, ever.  Taking a deep breath, I unlock my phone and my eyes focus on the name on the screen.  _Zayn_.  My eyebrows furrow.  Why is Zayn texting me?  If he wanted to talk about something, wouldn’t he just come in here?  He’s fifteen feet away.  But I open the message and read it.  As soon as I do, my chest tightens.

 

_From Zayn:We need to talk about Niall, now._

 

I’m frozen in place, staring at the message.  _We need to talk about Niall._   That could mean so many things.  It could be bad, it could be good…  But by the conversation shared between the boys last night - the chance of it being a good conversation is virtually nonexistent.  My chest heaves and my breathing quickens, knowing I’m guilty.  They blame it on me.  My only friends blame Niall’s state on me.  And the worst thing is…  They’re right.

I take a deep, shaky breath and lock my phone, slipping it into my pocket.  Niall is still sitting next to me, totally zonked out.  My eyes prick again but I don’t let the tears reach my eyes.  Niall needs rest, and he won’t get any because of me.  It’s all my fault, and Zayn knows it too.  He’s going to tell me what I already know.

I sigh, slipping my hand out of Niall’s.  His head slowly turns to me, his eyes still distant.  Cocking his head to the side, he makes a questioning grunt.  My chest tightens yet again, but I meet his eyes will a wry smile.

“Bathroom,” I say simply, and he nods.

I get up slowly, not wanting to talk to Zayn at all.  The things that he could blame me for are endless.  Niall’s sleep loss; Niall’s mess up at the concert; Niall’s rudeness to all of them; My nightmares; My fears.  My heart breaks a little at each realization, at each little thing I’m hurting myself - and more importantly, Niall - with.  I wince as soon as I reach Zayn’s bunk.  I’m out of sight of Niall - as if he can even focus on anything.  Once again my eyes prick, but again I stifle the tears.  Tears aren’t going to fix this.

“Zayn?” I whisper, fumbling with the hem of my shirt.

I hear him shift and the curtain slides open, making me jump.  “In there,” he whispers, pointing to the back room.

I nod and make my way back there, trying not to hyperventilate the whole way.  Taking a seat on the couch, I curl up into a ball and hug my knees.  I must look so scared - so helpless and weak.  I didn’t used to be like this.  Before the nightmares, I wasn’t weak.  I didn’t have to stay awake to escape my father - in fact, falling asleep was the only was _to_ escape him.  And now that he’s taken sleep - one of the most essential things - away from me…  I don’t know what to do.  And because of this, I’m bring Niall down, along with the friendship of the boys.  And his job.  I’m getting in the way of so much - I can’t seem to get this out of my head.

The sound of Zayn shutting the door makes me jump.  I look up at him and he gives me a tight smile that I don’t return.  He knows what I’m doing to Niall.  He knows that _I_ know what I’m doing to Niall.  And now he’s here to tell me about it, to accuse me of all the things I’m doing wrong.  I automatically prepare myself to give him the biggest apology of my life, a promise for change, and a million other excuses.  _You’re weak, Maci_.  But as soon as he opens his mouth to talk, I can’t find the words anymore.

“I think you know what I mean when I say we need to talk about Niall,” he says, looking at me.  His eyes show concern, but also accusation.

The corners of my mouth tip down and my hands start to shake.  “Yeah.”

He sighs and folds his hands in his lap.  “He’s not sleeping, Maci.”  When I don’t answer, he continues.  “You saw what happened in the concert last night.  He can’t perform when he’s tired - no one can.  Niall also isn’t going to sleep until you do.  Which brings me to this:  When are you going to sleep, Maci?”

My chest heaves and I avert his eyes, training my gaze on the carpeted floor.  “I…  I don’t think I can.”

Zayn heaves a sigh.  “We’re on tour.  You know that.  We have this tour to finish, then the rest of Europe for three months.  You know that Niall can’t keep this up.”  I wince, letting him know I understand.  “I know these dreams are tough for you, Maci.  Anyone can see that.  Based on what’s happened to you - I’m surprised you haven’t gone off the deep end.  But there comes a point when you have to know that your actions may be hurting the people around you.”

My eyes prick and my bottom lip trembles.  “I…  I know, Zayn.  It’s killing me to see him like this.  I’ve tried so hard to get him to sleep.  My heart is truly breaking, seeing him do this for me.”  This time I can’t hold back the tears that spring to my eyes.

“Maci,” Zayn says, putting a hand on my shoulder.  “If you know he’s hurting, then why don’t you stop this?  If seeing him like this is hurting you, why don’t you fix it?”

“Because I can’t make him alright without tearing myself apart,” I say harshly, still looking at the ground.  All of my defenses fly up at his words even though I know he’s right.  “I can’t get rid of my father.  He’s burrowed his way into my mind throughout the eighteen years that I’ve been his punching bag.  Now that he’s worked his way into my dreams, I can’t sleep.  I just wake up anyway, so why try?  Plus, it scares me.  Every time I wake up, Niall is there for me.  But the thing is, I don’t know it’s him.  I think he’s just another trick my mind is playing on me.”

“I don’t want that,” I continue.  “I don’t want to wake up and be afraid of the boy that I love.  So I stay awake.  Partially to escape my father, partially to avoid hurting myself and Niall.”

“But this _is_ hurting Niall,” Zayn says quietly, taking his hand away.

“You think I don’t know that?” I sigh.  My breath is shaky and I recognize the feeling of warm tears trickling down my cheeks.  “Do you think that I’m oblivious to the fact that the boy I love is sitting out there, tearing himself apart just for me?  If there is one thing in this world that I’m not, it’s oblivious.  I am so aware that he is putting his job - his _life_ \- at stake, that I haven’t been able to get it out of my head.  It’s all my fault that he’s like this.”

“Then why won’t you try to fix it?” he asks softly.

“Because the problem will never go away!” I say, exasperated at myself.  “Why try to fix something that’s permanently broken?  My mind is my father’s toy, Zayn.  You helped me figure that out.  And he’s using me to hurt the people that have taken me in - have shown me that there’s more to life than being someone else’s slave.  I’m hurting Niall, whether I mean to or not.  He’s going to sacrifice his job for me.  That’s my fault.  This is all my fault.”  I put my head in my hands, not bothering to wipe away the endless supply of tears flowing from my eyes.  I can feel my heart splitting into several different pieces as I continue putting my thoughts into words, knowing every bit of it is right.

Zayn doesn’t say anything for a moment.  I hear him suck in a deep breath.  “Get the rest of it out,” he says.  “I know there’s something else you want to say, and I think I know what it is.  Just say it, Maci.”

My breathing stops as he says the words.  Yes, there’s something nagging at my brain, itching to get out.  I can’t put words to it just yet, though I have a good idea of what the thoughts mean.  I’ve thought about it before, but I’ve never really put much meaning into it.  Now that Zayn’s asked me to get it out, my mind has taken a deeper look into what this thought truly means.

I take a shaky breath and look up at him.  I can only imagine what I look like now - a total wreck, to say the least.  Opening my mouth seems like that hardest thing I will ever do.  But when I finally force it open, the words feel numb coming out of my mouth.  “I’d rather leave than see him like this.  I would honestly rather leave now and hear about him doing well ten years down the road than stay with him now and watch him give this up.  I’ll do whatever it takes to protect him and his future, and if that means giving him up…  That’s what I’d do.”

 

 

 

~*Zayn’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

Okay.  I honestly _didn’t_ know that’s what Maci was going to say.  I thought she wanted to say that she needed help, and that she would do that for Niall.  _Leaving him_ had not been on my mind.

Her answer truly had me speechless.  I mean, what are you even supposed to say to that?  As soon as she said it though, she took off for Niall’s bunk.  Sitting here now, left to my thoughts alone…  I feel like a total douche.  That conversation wasn’t supposed to make her feel like a piece of crap on the bottom of my shoe.  It was supposed to help her realize that she needs to talk about the dreams to help her get over the torture her father put her through.

Actually _leaving_ Niall would tear him apart worse than he’s already come undone.  She’s got to know that, doesn’t she?  Why would she even think about that?  If Niall’s barely sleeping now, he wouldn’t sleep _at all_ until he found Maci, let alone let her leave!

I just have to hope that Maci isn’t going to make a rash decision.  I have to hope that she isn’t going to tear herself apart along with Niall.  She said her heart is breaking, seeing him like this.  What state is her heart going to be in when she doesn’t see him at all - _anywhere -_ because he’s in ruins?If I know him at all, he’s not going to rest until he finds her, _if_ she manages to slip away from him.

Maci’s in no state to talk about anything right now.  Plus, she’s got no where to go if she were going to leave.  We’re on a bus, five and a half hours from anywhere.  I’ll talk to her on the plane from Houston.  It’s a twelve hour flight - plenty of time to discuss something like this.

But first we have to get through the concert tonight.  And knowing Maci, she won’t sleep.  And knowing Niall, he won’t sleep either.  I’m hoping he’ll make it through.  It scared me yesterday that he was too tired to even sing his whole solo.  But now that he’s gotten virtually no sleep…  Hopefully he won’t fall asleep onstage.

 

 

\---

 

 

“I don’t think my face can hold any more powder,” I say to Lou, who’s been dusting foundation onto my face for the past three minutes.

“Close your mouth,” she snaps.  “I can’t get an even tone on you, for some reason.”

“You’re making me feel like a bloody moth!”

“Fine,” she says.  “I guess if I keep doing this I won’t have time to do your hair, anyway.”

My eyebrows raise.  “Yes, please do my hair, now.”

She rolls her eyes and pulls out a comb and a can of hairspray.  After about five minutes, she moves so I can see myself in the mirror.  “Great as always!” I say, gratefully hopping out of her chair.

“Ah ah!” she says, grabbing a hold of my arm.  I furrow my eyebrows as she pulls me closer, bringing her voice down.  “What’s wrong with Maci?  She wouldn’t talk to me while I was doing her hair and makeup.  She seems really down, more than she has been in a long time.  She even bursted into tears when I asked how she and Niall are doing.  I don’t want to ask Niall, because he just seems…  Out of it, you know?  This staying up thing is wearing him down.”

I flinch when she asks about Maci, knowing full well that I probably brought her down.  The bus ride here had been mostly silent on her part, and Niall just got more and more tired.  I don’t know why, but I don’t tell Lou the truth.

“No idea,” I shrug, giving her a sad smile.  “Niall’s really worn down, though.”

Lou nods, not pressing me further.  “Louis!” she calls, letting my arm go.  “Let’s get you done, we’ve got fifteen minutes!”

 

 

\---

 

 

“ _We’re like na na na,_

_Then we’re like yeah yeah yeah._

_Always like na na na,_

_Then we’re like yeah yeah yeah._

 

_No, we can’t make up our minds_

_‘Cause when we think we’ve got it right_

_We go na na na.”_

 

We finish our fourth song of the night, the crowd screaming like crazy.  I see Niall cringe beside me as he puts his hand to his forehead.  My expression falters as I make my way over to him.

“You alright, Mate?” I ask, setting a hand on his shoulder.

“Fine,” he says quietly, recomposing himself and moving across the stage.

I sigh and fall into position with the boys, going into the next song.  I think to both Niall’s and my worry, _Moments_ starts.  This is the song he had trouble with yesterday, and he was more rested than he is now.  I glance over to see him looking pleadingly at me.  I nod, knowing what he means.  I’ll take over if he needs me to.

I look over to side-stage and find Maci, her face full of guilt and pain.  _You shouldn’t have talked to her today, Zayn_.  I turn my head back to the crowd as we go into the chorus.  Half concentrating on the words, I look over at Niall to see him struggling to stand.  He leans back against a stool for support, but his eyes start to close.  Immediately he stands up, trying to keep his balance as the chorus ends.

 

“ _S-shut the door,_

_Throw the key._

_Don’t wanna b-be rem-minded,_

_Don’t wanna be s-seen-”_

 

His voice breaks off as he stumbles to his side.  I sit there frozen for about a millisecond before I take up the rest of his verse.  I see him lose his footing and trip across a cord on the stage.  The crowd screams and Niall quickly stands back up as Liam rushes over to help his, batting Liam’s hand away.  The shocked looks on the boy’s faces make me wince.  I know exactly what’s going on, now that I’ve gotten  a better look at the problem from Maci.

Louis goes into his verse, continuing the song while Niall struggles to stay upright.  Against my better judgement, I turn to look at Maci.  What I see will never leave my mind.

The stress, distraught, guilt, and pure sadness in her expression makes my chest pang.  She’s fallen to her knees, her hands pressed over her ears.  Her bottom lip trembles as a stream of tears falls down her face, and I can’t help but think that most of that reaction is my fault.  I’m the one who made her feel useless and made her say that she’d leave Niall if it meant that he wouldn’t be like this.  God, I’m an idiot!

Her eyes meet mine and I freeze, seeing her guilt increase ten times over.  Maci’s eyes hold mine for a few seconds, letting me recognize the regret in her expression.  Her eyes suddenly grow wide and she jumps up from the floor, sprinting out of sight.  It takes everything I have not to run after her, in fear that she’ll actually leave like she said she would.  But I’m forced to continue the song.

 

 

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

I don’t know exactly where I plan to go.  Just away from here, away from the stage where the boys I love suffers from exhaustion caused by me.

I don’t deserve Niall - I never have.  I don’t know why I ever thought that this would work.  Something always gets in the way, nothing good ever lasts for me.  I’m the reason he’s suffering.  I’m the reason he can’t hold a conversation for more than two minutes.  I’m the reason he’s going to sacrifice his job - and that can’t happen.

I run and run for what seems like forever, not knowing where I’m supposed to go.  Pain and guilt overtake me, clouding out my vision and sense of direction.

_I would honestly rather leave now and hear about him doing well ten years down the road than stay with him now and watch him give this up.  I’ll do whatever it takes to protect him and his future, and if that means giving him up…  That’s what I’d do._

These words - _my_ words - keep running through my head as the hallway flashes by.  The words are the truth.  If staying with him means him ending up like this, then I don’t want to stay.  I love him so much, more than anyone could ever imagine.  I love him enough to let him go.

Somehow, I end up back in the boys’ dressing room.  The shock on Caroline’s face when I throw myself into her arms is unmissable.  When her arms wrap around me protectively, I let myself go and cry the hardest I’ve ever cried in my entire life.  It seems like forever, yet too soon at the same time when my tears finally run out.  Caroline’s soothing words comfort me as I hiccup softly.  Finally calming down enough to think clearly, I pull back a bit.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” she asks, worry in her eye.

That’s the thing.  I _have_ to talk about it.  The weight of this burden on my shoulders seems endless, and I’ve forced some of it upon Niall and the boys, and everyone else that’s accepted me.  I take a shaky deep breath and close my eyes.

“C-Caroline,” I say, my bottom lip quivering.  “Will you p-promise not to t-tell anyone?”

“Of course,” she says without hesitation.

I nod.  Bringing up all of the courage I have in me, I open my mouth to whisper the words I’ve been afraid of since talking to Zayn.

“I…  I have to leave.”


	28. Chapter 28

~*Caroline’s P.O.V.*~

 

“W-what?” I stammer, holding a torn Maci in my arms.

 

“I have to l-leave!” she sobs again, squeezing me tighter.

 

My eyes wide, I have to comprehend this for a moment.  What does she mean, _leave?_   If she means going away…  Why on earth would she think that?  Is someone telling her she has to?  Because if they are they’re horribly wrong.  This poor girl has nowhere to go!  Plus, her boyfriend is leaving tomorrow for a three month long tour!  What is going on?

 

“What do you mean, Love?” I ask quietly.

 

“I…  I’m only h-hurting Niall b-by being he-ere,” she hiccuped, pulling away.  Her mascara is in streaks down her face, making her look even more sad.  “I h-have to l-leave.”

 

I shake my head, pulling her to sit on the sofa.  “You don’t have to leave,” I say, patting her head.  “Niall loves you with all of his heart.”

 

“But look at him out there!” she wails.  “He’s suffering, and it’s all because of me!  I can’t do this anymore, I just can’t.”

 

“Maci,” I say softly.  “Niall is just trying to help you.  He loves you enough to do that for you.”

 

“I don’t want him to help me,” she cries.  “My heart is breaking, watching him go out there and disappoint thousands of people, all because of me.  The boys had an argument last night, and Niall was being awful on my behalf and…  I love him so much - which is why I have to go.”

 

The pieces begin to fall into place.  I understand what she’s saying, and it makes sense.  But that doesn’t mean I agree with it.  She gets way too down on herself - I blame her father and all he’s put her through.  Maci has had one of the hardest lives I’ve ever even heard about, and I’m not about to make it any harder by agreeing to send her off.

 

“You don’t have to go,” I tell her, wiping away some of the smeared makeup.  “Where will you go, Maci?  Tell me that.”

 

“I’ll stay here,” she says.  “In Austin.  I have some money, I’ll rent a hotel room and get a job.  I’ll be more useful here than I would be to Niall.”

 

“Love,” I whisper.  “You’ll tear Niall apart.”

 

I feel her tense against me and her sobs renew, shaking throughout her body.  “No m-more than I w-will if I s-stay.”

 

I shake my head.  “Maci, you’ve got to think this through.  Everyone here adores you, can’t you see that?  You’ve just reached a bump in the road that you can get past.”

 

She shakes her head frantically.  “N-no one s-seems to understand.  They w-won’t go aw-way!  My f-father has t-taken o-over my m-mind!”

 

“No,” I coo.  “Love, you can get through this.”  Maci shakes her head and buries her face in my shirt, renewed sobs wracking her shoulders.  Hearing the genuine and true pain in her wails brings tears to my eyes.  She really is hurting.  I can only imagine what she’s going through right now.

 

She fell in love with the boy that saved her from her abusive father.  Eighteen years of pain built up in her mind…  That’s got to wear on you.  And when the immediate danger was gone, her mind didn’t know how to process it - it still doesn’t.  That lead to the nightmares that continue to haunt her.  They’re so bad that she has to stay up, and that alone makes me want to cry with her.  But then Niall started staying up with her - stupid, _stupid_ Niall - making her feel even worse when he can’t even perform.  Now she’s torn between her heart and her mind, and I can literally feel the pain in her sobs.  I can _feel_ the agony ripping through her heart…  If Maci thinks this will ebb both of their pain…  It’s not the best idea, but I know that I’d do the same thing.

 

“Maci,” I say quietly, pulling her back to look at me.  She sniffs in lets out a strangled whimper, drawing sympathetic tears to my eyes.  “Love, you know he’s going to tear himself apart.  Worse than you are right now.”

 

Maci lets out one more shaky whimper.  “H-he’ll…  He’ll m-make it through.  He’s a s-strong b-boy.”

 

I nod, my insides churning at the thought of this.  “If you really think this will help…”

 

“I know it will,” she answers, squeezing her eyes shut.  “I’d rather hear about him doing well in ten years than watch him give up his dream for me.”

 

I nod again, my chest constricting.  _I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?_ I think as heavier tears cloud my vision.  “Okay, Love,” I sniff.  “I’ll…  I’ll help you.”

 

 

 

~*Zayn’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

I feel like a complete and utter douche.  There are no other words for my self-hatred right now, and I don’t want to use a lighter tone.  Maci wants to leave because of me - I made her think that this is her fault.  What the hell is wrong with me!?

 

I kick myself for even talking to her today as Niall and I walk back to the tour bus.  I haven’t seen Maci since she ran off, and I’m afraid that we won’t find her in the bus.  _She’s probably left, and it’s my fault_.  I’ve got to do something to fix - or at least make it better - before Niall is torn apart.

 

I look over to my best mate.  Niall stumbles along, yawning his arse off.  His eyes are barely open and he mumbles incoherently to himself.  My chest tightens as we near the bus door.  _Just thirty feet away…_

 

“Niall,” I say, putting a weary hand on his shoulder.

 

His head snaps up and he looks at me with wide eyes, then his jaw sets and he goes back to staring at the ground.  I heave a sigh and swallow all the pride I have.

 

“Mate, listen,” I say, trying to keep up with him.  _Just ten more feet now_.  “I just…”  _The door is right there, Zayn, hurry!_ “I just want to say that I’m so, so sorry.”

 

“For what?” Niall grumbles, putting foot on the first stair.  _Go!_

 

“For…” I trail off as he puts his hand on the handle.  “Niall, stop!” I shout as he yanks the door open, revealing-

 

“Maci?” I squeak.

 

 

 

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

My head turns up as I hear the first feet on the steps into the bus.  I take a shaky breath, trying to compose myself.  My talk with Caroline had planned out the whole thing - except I can’t leave until the boys are on the plane tomorrow, or…  Or Niall won’t leave.  My chest constricts and I take another deep breath to try and relieve most of the tension.  It doesn’t work.  The door swings open, revealing a tired Niall and a shocked Zayn.

 

“Maci?” Zayn squeaks, and I inwardly cringe, thinking of the look her gave me during the concert.

 

Tears threaten to build in my eyes but I stifle them.  “Hi, Niall,” I say softly.  “Hi, Zayn.”

 

Niall climbs into the bus and gives me a tired kiss.  I wince as his sleepy lips meet mine, shoving back the tears that try to brim in my eyes.  Niall gives me a loopy smile and I try to return it, but it just feels like I grimace.

 

“Now what did you need to tell me?” Niall mumbles to Zayn, who’s still looking at me confusedly.

 

“N-nothing,” he says quickly, shaking his head and averting his gaze.  “Just…  Never mind.”

 

Niall grunts in response and heads back to the bathroom, shutting the door quietly.

 

“Maci,” Zayn whispers, stepping in the bus and shutting the door.  “I thought-”

 

“-I… I know, Zayn,” I say quietly, trying to get him to stop talking before I burst into tears.  “It’s okay.  Just please, leave it alone,” my voice cracks at the last word and I can’t help the tears that well in my eyes.  Not one falls, but Zayn sees them right away.

 

“Oh God, Maci,” he breathes, sitting next to me on the couch.  “I’m so sorry.  I’m so, so sorry.”

 

He pulls me into a comforting hug, and I allow one tear to fall down my face.  It lands in a spot on his shirt, turning the color a little bit darker.  I shake my head, pulling away after a bit.

 

“Don’t be,” I whimper, my voice shaking with the pain in my heavy heart.  “You’re right, it’s all my fault.”

 

With that I push myself off of the couch, ignoring Zayn’s protest as I run to Niall’s bunk and slide the curtain closed.  I cleaned off my smeared makeup earlier, so nothing got on his pillow as I bury my face in it.  I inhale the wonderful smell that I don’t - and never have - deserved, feeling my shoulders tremble greatly as tearless sobs consume me.

 

As soon as I hear the bathroom door open I quickly compose myself, turning so I face the wall.  Niall’s soft conversation with himself carries up to my ears and I stifle a whimper.  _I’ve driven him that far._   The curtain slides open softly and I feel Niall’s presence behind me as the curtain slides closed again.  His arms wrap around my middle and he pulls me closer into an embrace that I’ve never deserved.  My back presses against his chest and I can feel the beat of his heart - the heart I’ve never deserved.  I stifle a sob as his lips - the ones I’ve never deserved - press to my bare shoulder.

 

“I love you,” he mumbles.

 

My chest heaves.  “I-I love you too,” I tell him.  “Now…  Get some sleep, Nialler.”

 

“Will you?” he questions half-heartedly.

 

I wince, weighing my options.  It’s my last night with him - probably forever.  This time apart is going to wear on both of us - I hope more me than him.  I deserve it for causing all this.  I deserve the pain of my father for one more night.  I think…  I think this is the least I could do for him.

 

“Yes,” I say quietly, burrowing deeper into the boy I don’t deserve.

 

Niall squeezes me tighter to him.  “Do you mean it?”

 

I wince, thanking God that it’s dark so Niall can’t see the two silent tears that fall from my closed eyes.

 

“Of course,” I whisper.

 

 

\---

 

 

_“You’re leaving,” Niall whispers, but I can hear him loud and clear._

 

_“Yes,” I whisper in response, stepping away from him._

 

_“You can’t,” he whimpers, tears springing to his eyes._

 

_“I have to,” I say softly, tears flooding my own vision.  “I have to, for you.”_

 

_“This isn’t doing anything for me,”  Niall sobs, tears trailing down his face._

 

_“Yes it is,” I whisper, turning away from him.  “You should just forget about me.  I’ll only hurt you if I stay.”  Tears begin flowing in rivers down my cheeks but I don’t bother wiping them away.  They’ll just keep coming._

 

_“How can I ever forget about you, Maci?” Niall asks, desperation in his voice._

 

_“You’re just going to have to find a way,” I squeak, all of my sadness filling my chest and clogging my throat.  I can’t find the will to say anything more, so I take the first few steps on the road without Niall._

 

_“Maci,” he says weakly.  “Baby, please don’t go.  Please don’t leave me.  I need you.”_

 

_I shake my head, not turning back.  I fear that if I do, I won’t have the power to walk away anymore.  “I have to.”_

 

_That’s when I feel the whole atmosphere change.  The feeling gets darker, more threatening.  I let out a scared whimper and spin around, revealing something I’ll never forget._

 

_My father’s face on Niall’s body.  I cringe, trying to scream, but I can’t.  The pain inside of me is too much.  The fear, the sadness, the guilt - I’m frozen in place as my father’s face twists into pure hatred._

 

_“Get out of my house,” he seethes.  “Get your sorry ass out of my house and never come back.”_

 

 

 

I wake with a start, stifling a scream.  It’s dark all around me, but I see morning light seeping into the bunk from the edges around the curtain.  My breath hitches as I see Niall’s sleeping face, hear Niall’s groggy snores.  Then I remember the way my father’s face had melded with his body and the fear it struck in me.

 

“Oh God,” I whisper, trying to get out of Niall’s arms, but I can’t

 

His protective embrace is locked around me, holding me in place.  Tears spring to my eyes, knowing that even though it’s comforting to have his arms around me, I won’t have him for much longer.  I let a few tears fall silently as Niall shifts, subconsciously bringing me closer to him.

 

I shake my head, straining to hold back the sobs that threaten to escape my lips.  I slide my hand around under my pillow in search of my phone, my fingers closing around it and bringing it to my face.  I unlock it and check the time - _4:58._   I let a scared gasp escape me.  I have two hours left with the boy I love.  Then I’ll never see him again.

 

My phone vibrates with a text from Caroline.

 

_From Caroline:  Are you sure?_

 

I know exactly what she means.

 

_From Maci W.:  Yes._

 

It takes about a minute for her to reply again, all the while letting me think about what is going to happen today.

 

_From Caroline:  Everything is in place.  Just like we talked about, okay?  Or it won’t work._

 

_From Maci W.:  I’ll make sure of it._

 

_From Caroline:  I hope you’re making the right decision._

 

I wince, thinking about never seeing Niall again.  But it’s for his good.  This is going to help his future.

 

_From Maci W.:  I am._

 

 

 

~*Caroline’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

***********The Night Before***********

 

 

“I can’t believe she’s doing this,” Lou whimpers, tears in her eyes.  “I can’t believe she’s leaving.”

 

I shake my head, my own tear-filled eyes gazing down at the floor.  “She thinks she’s doing the right thing.”

 

“I don’t think this is the solution.”

 

“Neither do I, Lou,” I whisper.  “Neither do I.”

 

 

***********7:23 AM***********

 

 

“Here, I’ve got it,” I tell Maci, taking her duffel - just as planned.

 

She smiles wearily.  “Thanks.”

 

I smile wryly and quickly set her duffel to the side, just outside of security check.  The boys are already too far ahead of her to notice, but I stand in front of the bag just in case.  Lou and I are catching a later flight because we have to make a quick stop back in London for Lux, who’s been staying with Mr. Teasdale.

 

Maci gives me one last grateful look before going through security.  I shut my eyes tightly, thinking about what this is going to do to both of them.  I wish I could be two places at once, one here to support Maci through this, and one to stay with the boys.  But life just isn’t that easy.  It never is.

 

“Caroline?” Lou asks, walking up with sunglasses over her eyes.

 

“Hmm?” I mumble, my mind still half gone.

 

“I brought Maci’s guitar for her,” Lou said, setting the case down near the duffel.

 

I pull Lou into a hug.  “She’ll love you for that.”

 

Lou shakes her head sadly.  “What is she doing, Caroline?”

 

I sigh, my breath shaky.  “I don’t know, Lou.”

 

 

 

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

Keeping it together this far has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.  All of my emotions are welled up in my throat, threatening to pour out all at once.  I hold tightly onto Niall’s hand for support, knowing that I won’t have him anymore in just a few minutes.

 

Niall is less tired than he was yesterday from the nights rest, but I can tell he’s still shaken up a bit.  As we near the gate the tightness within my chest increases.  _This is for his good, Maci._   I approach the gate with a heavy heart, though my posture says that nothing’s wrong.

 

“Maci,” Niall says squeezing my hand.  I whip around to face him, more anxious than ever, now.  “I love you,” he says, kissing my cheek lightly.

 

I cram the tears down my throat with the rest of my emotions, swallowing dryly before opening my mouth to speak.  “I love you too.”

 

Then I decide to savor one last thing with Niall.  I step closer into his arms as we stop walking, looking him in the eye.  “I love you more than anything,” I whisper before crushing my lips to his.

 

He seems surprised at first, but then he responds by kissing me back softly.  I think of all the great memories we’ve shared together in this very short span of five weeks.  I think of the time when he defended me from my father; the time when he first told me he loved me; the fun time he spent tolerating my clumsiness at the skating rink; the guitar Niall bought me.  I think of all the good things, pushing the bad memories out.

 

It feels too soon that I pull away stealing one last peck before taking his hand and following after the boys in the plane.  I find the seat on my ticket, claiming the aisle seat while Niall sits on the inside, closest to the window.  My breath becomes shaky as Niall laces his fingers through mine, squeezing my hand softly.  I stifle another wave of tears and we sit in silence for a long time.

 

“ _Attention, passengers,”_ a lady’s voice comes on over the intercom.  _“We will be closing the gate in two minutes.  Anticipated departure time will be met at 7:40 AM.”_

 

“You’re going to love Paris,” Niall breathes, leaning in and pecking my cheek.  “It’s lovely there.”

 

My breath catches painfully in my throat and I smile wryly.  I count down a long minute, then unlatch my hand from Niall’s.  He frowns, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

 

“Bathroom,” I say, standing up.  “There’s one just up there.”  He nods and turns back to look out the window.

 

I can’t bear it any longer.  I turn, hurrying down the aisle with tears clouding my vision.  I’m about to walk out into the walkway when a flight attendant stops me.

 

“Excuse me, miss,” she says politely.  “You’re going to have to stay on the plane, we’ll be leaving shortly.”

 

I shake my head.  “I’m…  I’m leaving.  I’m not coming.”

 

She furrows her eyebrows.  “What do you mean?”

 

One tears spills over my bottom eyelid, bringing two more with it.  “I’m leaving…  I’m leaving him.”

 

Her mouth forms and ‘O’.  “I’m so sorry,” she whispers, pulling me into a hug.  “I hope you don’t blame yourself, whatever it is.”

 

I shake my head.  “You have no idea.”

 

With that, she says a small ‘good luck’ and lets me exit the plane.  After I’m out in the walk way connecting to the plane, the attendant gives me a sad smile before the plane’s hatch closes with a final _thud_ , dropping a suffocating weight on my chest.

 

I can’t take it anymore.  My vision is lost to the many tears in my eyes and I take off at a dead sprint back through the gate and back through security.

 

“Oh God,” I whimper, searching for Caroline and Lou.  “Oh God, Niall.  I’m so sorry.”


	29. Chapter 29

~*Caroline’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

“ _Oof!”_ I grunt as Maci barrels into me.  Her arms wrap impossibly tight around my middle and mine land over her shoulders.  Her loud sobs echo in the relatively quiet airport.  A few people look over, but Lou quickly joins in the hug to muffle some of Maci’s cries.

 

“Oh my God,” Maci whispers.  “I’m so sorry.”

 

No one says anything for a long time.  Lou and I share several glances as we hold Maci tighter, just letting her get most of her tears out.  By now the boys’ plane has already taken off for Paris, and there’s no stopping it until it gets there.  I can only imagine how Niall feels right now - probably crushed that the girl he loves just left him with no warning.  _I’m_ crushed that she decided to stay here.  Niall not only lost his girlfriend, Lou and I are losing a good friend.

 

Maci’s sobs eventually quiet down, soft hiccups replacing the cries that were so painful to hear.  Lou, Maci, and I just stand there in a group hug for what seems like forever, when Maci finally pulls away.

 

“Why does it hurt so bad if I’m doing this for his good?” she squeaks, wiping her eyes.

 

“You love him, Maci,” Lou says, putting a hand on her shoulder.  “You’re giving him up.  That’s why it hurts.”

 

She sniffs loudly and rubs her eyes.  “I just want to leave here,” she whispers.

 

My chest heaves and my eyes prick.  This is goodbye for us.  “Our flight leaves in an hour,” I say quietly.  “We have to stay here.”

 

“Oh,” Maci replies, her bottom lip trembling.  “Well…  Then I guess I’ll be off.”

 

She brushes past Lou and I to pick up her duffel.  “Here,” Lou breathes, revealing Maci’s guitar case.  “I think you might…  Need this.”

 

The duffel slips from her hands and drops to the ground as she sees the case.  Her mouth falls open and she stares at it in both happiness and sadness.  Maci’s gaze travels up to Lou’s face and tears brim her eyes.  With a whimper she strides over to Lou and pulls her into a grateful hug.

 

“Oh my God,” Maci whispers.  “Thank you so much.”

 

Lou’s back is to me, but I can tell that her shoulders are shaking with silent tears.  I stare at the ground and feel a stream of warm tears stream down my face.  Maci pulls away from Lou and turns to me.

 

“No,” she whimpers, her eyes red.  “Don’t you two cry!  Ohh…”

 

She trails off as a pull her into a tight embrace.  “Be careful, Love,” I say shakily.  “Don’t let anyone take advantage of you.  Don’t get recognized, because it’ll be all over Twitter and the news in no time - and Niall will find you because he is stubborn.  Keep in touch.  And most of all,” I say, pulling back to look her in the eye.  “Don’t lose yourself.”

 

 

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

I feel like a thousand pounds has been placed on my chest as I give Lou and Caroline one final hug.  After I pull back I pause to look at them for a long time, taking in the two women that have been so wonderful to me this past month.  Then I bend down to sling my duffel over my shoulder and take the guitar case in my hand.  The only thing I have left of Niall.

 

I take a deep breath, standing back up and walking past them.

 

“Wait,” Caroline says, grabbing my arm.  My chest heaves and my heart begins to pound.  I don’t think I can handle someone telling me not to go - I might listen to them right now.

 

I turn slowly and wince.  “Hm?”

 

“Here,” Caroline says, pushing something into my open hand.

 

My eyes open and I look down.  A roll of money is in my palm and my jaw drops.  “I can’t take this,” I breathe, trying to push it back at her.

 

“It’s only five thousand,” Caroline says, closing my hand around the money.  My jaw drops and she shakes her head.  “You’re not leaving without it, and that’s final.  If I could, I’d give you more.”

 

My bottom lip trembles as a tear rolls down my cheek.  “Thank you,” I whisper, putting it in my pocket.  “For everything.”

 

Lou kisses my forehead.  “If you need anything at all,” she says, squeezing my hand.  “Just give us a call, and we’ll be on the next flight to wherever you are.”

 

“I don’t think I could ever ask anything more of you,” I tell her.  Caroline wipes away a stray tear on her cheek, then one on mine.

 

“Goodbye, Love,” she says.

 

“Goodbye,” I whisper, turning away and heading toward the door  leading outside.

 

“You better answer our messages!” I hear Lou call after me, and I turn around to give her a weak smile and a thumbs up.

 

I turn away as my vision is clouded by tears and slide my sunglasses over my eyes.  When I reach the door leading outside, I’m greeted by the sight of at least a hundred girls still screaming from the arrival of the boys.  Several cameras flash and I duck my head down low to avoid getting noticed, by unlucky for me, all of them already know what I look like from magazines and the internet.

 

“Maci!”

 

“Why aren’t you with the boys!?”

 

“You bitch!  Niall’s mine!”

 

“Maci, will you give me Zayn’s number!?”

 

“Maci, why aren’t you on their plane!?”

 

I try to hide behind my hair a bit and duck into a GreyHound bus waiting across the parking lot.  Paying my fare, I choose a spot near the back of the bus where no one is.  The girls’ screams still come through the bus’ walls as the bus pulls out of the lot and onto the road.  Tears stream down my cheeks as the last of the camera’s flashes leave my sight and I put my head in my hands.

 

“Please don’t come after me, Nialler,” I whimper, shutting my eyes.

 

 

 

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

Maci takes her hand from mine, making me look up.  I send her a confused look as she stands.

 

“Bathroom,” she says.  “There’s one just up there.”  I nod and turn back to look out the window.

 

Something is off about Maci.  She’s been acting oddly for the past few hours - not really talking, not answering questions, drifting off.  She even went to _sleep_ last night!  After all that talk about her nightmares never going away, she actually fell asleep.  Not that I have a problem with that - I actually got a good night of rest in.  But it all just seems…  Odd.

 

“Zayn?” I ask, turning to him across the aisle as I hear the plane’s hatch shut.

 

“Hm?” he says, shutting his phone off.

 

“Does Maci seem… off to you?”

 

His expression falters noticeably, but he quickly recovers and shrugs.  “Not anything too big.  She seems more rested today than others.  And come to think of it - so do you, Nialler.”

 

“I know,” I say.  “She actually fell asleep on purpose last night.  That’s what’s got me a bit worried.”

 

“Why would you be worried?” he asks, furrowing his eyebrows.  “This is a step in the right direction, Mate!”

 

I shake my head.  “I know Maci, and she doesn’t just change like that all of the sudden.”  I hear the plane’s engines slowly hum to life.

 

Zayn shrugs again.  “I wouldn’t question it.  If she’s sleeping again, then I’d let it go.”

 

My eyebrows draw together.  “Yeah, I guess.  Something just seems almost _wrong_ about her.  Like she knows something that I don’t.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Zayn says, reaching over to pat my shoulder.  “Let’s just see how it all plays out.”

 

I nod and go back to staring out the window as the plane starts to move.  My hands fidget a bit - I’ve never been a big fan of flying, but at least Maci’s here to keep me company.  Come to think of it…  Maci should probably be back by now.

 

Leaning over her seat, I peer down the aisle up near the front on the plane.  The bathroom door is closed, and I only see one flight attendant up there, making sure everything is secure.  The plane makes it’s way out to the runway, about to take off as the seatbelt light flashes on.  I quickly do my seatbelt and look back down the aisle again.  The flight attendant starts making her way back, I assume to take her seat.

 

“Excuse me,” I say, catching her arm.

 

“Yes?” she asks sweetly.  “How can I help you?”

 

“My girlfriend,” I say letting my arm drop to Maci’s seat.  “I think she’s in the bathroom.  She’s got reddish-brown hair, hazel eyes.  Have you seen her?  She needs to sit down, doesn’t she?”

 

The attendant’s jaw sets and her eyes grow a bit wider, but she masks her surprise well.  “Erm - well - no,” she stammers, obviously lying.  “I haven’t seen her.”

 

“ _Attention passengers,”_ the voice on the intercom says.  “ _Please be seated and fasten your seatbelts.  We are approaching the runway and will be starting our takeoff in one minute.”_

 

The flight attendant tries to move down the aisle, but I catch her arm again.  “I hate to be pushy,” I sigh.  “But please don’t lie to me.  I know that you wouldn’t let a passenger take off without a seatbelt on.  So could you please…  Go get her or something?”

 

My chest tightens as the plane approaches the runway.  I don’t want the plane to take off without Maci strapped in safely next to me.

 

“Erm,” she says, looking around nervously.  “I - well-”

 

The plane lurches into the runway and I begin to panic a bit.  The attendant stumbles a bit and plops down into Maci’s seat.  I try to look over the seats for Maci, but can’t see her.  Where is she!?

 

“Please,” I breathe, facing the attendant.  “Just go get her for me.”

 

“I - I can’t,” she finally says, looking down at her hands, folded in her lap.

 

“W-what do you mean?” I nearly shout, getting anxious.  “What do you mean you can’t?”

 

“Well,” she starts, her hands twitching a bit.  “She-”

 

“ _Attention passengers, please be sure that all electronic devices are turned off at this time.  We are now taking off, and please enjoy flying with AirFrance.”_

 

“What do you mean?” I press further, my stomach knotting as the plane gains speed.  I frantically peer over the seats, trying to spot Maci but I still can’t.

 

“She-” the attendant still struggles to get out.  “She - she left.”

 

I immediately stop my movements, staring wide-eyed at the flight attendant as the plane quickly lifts into the air.  My stomach does a complete flip-flop and a huge weight falls onto my chest.

 

“She _what_?” I ask, not sure I heard what she said right.

 

The attendant’s expression falters, confirming what I thought she’d said.  “She got off of the plane before we left the gate,” she says, wincing.

 

The plane reaches the right altitude and levels out.  More weight seems to press on my chest as her words soak it.  _She got off of the plane before we left the gate_.  Is that what she was doing when she said she was going to the bathroom?  She was leaving the plane?  Leaving _me_?

 

“I’m sorry,” the flight attendant says quickly.  “I’ve got to go.”

 

She darts out of the seat and up to the front, leaving me looking like an idiot as I stare blankly at nothing.  But I don’t care.  Maci left.

 

She _left.  Oh my God.  Maci left me._   My chest heaves and I let out a strangled noise.  Tears prick at the back of my eyes as Zayn tries to get my attention.

 

“Nialler,” he says, snapping in my face.  “Niall, what’s wrong?  Where’s Maci?”

 

I let out another choked sound as my throat constricts, realizing what this means.  Maci’s not here.  She _left_ me.  I’m going to Paris without her.  I’m going to be hundreds of miles away for her, for the first time in a month.  My hands cover my eyes, blocking out any extra senses I don’t need to think.

 

Maci chose to leave.  But why?  I love her so much, I’ve never felt this way about anyone - but doesn’t she feel the same way?  Of course she does, she said she does.  And love means a lot to her, she wouldn’t say it if she didn’t mean it.  But then…  why would she choose to leave me?  Doesn’t she know what this is going to do to me?  I can’t live without her.

 

“Niall!” Zayn shouts, finally getting my attention.  I look up at him, tears brimming my eyes and my chest as tight as it could ever be.  “What happened?” he asks quietly, seeing what state I’m in.

 

I shake my head, closing my eyes and wiping away any tears that dare fall.  “We…  We have to go back.”

 

 

 

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

I take a shaky breath, unlocking the hotel room door with my key card.  Opening it slowly, I let one last tear fall down my face.  Setting my duffel and guitar down by the sofa, I wipe it away and pull out the roll of money that Caroline had given me.

 

I shake my head, drawing in a shaky deep breath.  _I’m not worth all of this trouble._

 

There’s a sudden knock on my door, making me jump.  I pad over to the door and look through the peep-hole.  A man with a notepad stands in front of another man with a large camera on his shoulder.  I recognize the type of people they are - reporters.

 

There’s no way I’m going to open the door - like Caroline said, I can’t get recognized.  Niall might follow after me.  But the problem is that nearly everyone knows what I look like.  Basically, if I walk out the door, people might notice me.

 

I quietly slip away from the door and sit on the bed, staring out the window.  I have a sixth-story view, looking over a big part of Austin.  A big city - lots of opportunities to get recognized.  Shaking my head, I pull out my phone.  There’s a text from Lou and a text from Caroline.

 

_From Lou:  Our flight just got called, wanted to check on you before we leave.  Everything situated?_

I type her a quick reply.

 

_To Lou:  Everything is fine.  Thank you._

 

I check my message from Caroline, smiling a little as I read it.

 

_From Caroline:  Just wanted to see how you are so far.  Everything okay?  Lou’s taking it pretty hard that she won’t have a girl to doll-up anymore._

 

_To Caroline:  Doing fine.  Tell her not to worry, I’ve learned a few tricks from her and I’m willing to try some._

 

I sigh heavily and put my phone down next to me.  I need to do something about getting recognized - I need to make a living, but I can’t do that while worrying about Niall and his fans.  But I can’t, really.  I mean, it’s not like a can just change what I look like-

 

“-That’s it,” I breathe, sitting straight up.  I throw open my duffel and dig around for the $200 I already had before Caroline gave me some money.  I find it and add it to Caroline’s, wrapping a rubber band around it after taking $100 out.  _That should be enough_.

 

I dig deeper through my bag and pull out a large gray beanie.  Tugging it over my head, I shove my hair up into it, letting only the ends show a bit.  I stand up and check how it looks in the mirror.  My face still looks the same, but I also look a lot different without any hair showing.

 

I shake the thought from my mind, snagging my phone, money, and key card before slipping out the door and down the hall.  I make it to the elevator and tap my foot impatiently as it slowly sinks down to the main floor.  The doors open and I jolt my head down to hit most of my face from the people getting on.  Hurrying out of the hotel, I look up the location on my phone.  _Just down the street, how convenient._

 

I fast-walk down the street, avoid many people’s gazes and weaving in between groups.  Finally, I make it to my destination.  Sighing, I push open the door and make my way over to the counter.  I tug off the beanie, letting my long reddish-brown hair fall to about mid-back.  The lady behind that counter looks up and her eyes widen.

 

“I know you!” she squeaks.  “You’re Ni-”

 

“-No I’m not,” I interrupt her quickly, letting out a nervous laugh.  “Common misconception.  My name is,” I pause for a moment, thinking of something.  Finally, I come up with something I’ve always wanted to name my child - if I ever had one.  “Camryn,” I say quickly.  “Camryn Stuart.”

 

“No,” the lady says.  “I’m sure you’re Niall’s girlfr-”

 

“Okay!” I whisper shout, quieting her.  “I can’t get noticed, please understand.  Just call me Camryn,” I plead.

 

“Okay…” she says hesitantly, raising an eyebrow.  “But why Camryn?”  I shrug and she brushes the conversation off.  “So how may I help you, Camryn?”

 

I take a deep breath.  “Can you do a cut?” I ask quietly.

 

“Sure, right this way.”  She leads me to an empty chair and I sit down as she puts the cape-thing around my neck.  “What length?”

 

“Short,” I say, not really having thought about it.

 

“How short are we talking?” she asks, putting a hand on her hip.  I think for a moment, then point to my shoulder.  She raises her eyebrow.  “That’s looking like you’re getting nine inches off, hon.”

 

I shrug.  “It’s what a want.”

 

 

\---

 

 

“There,” she says, drying the last of my freshly-cut hair.

 

It falls exactly where I said I wanted it, and I smile gratefully.  I look at the ground at the the many locks of hair that were cuts.  She’s right, I did get about nine inches off.  But I still look somewhat the same - still the same reddish-brown wavy hair, only shorter.  Something’s got to change, and I know what it is.

 

“Can you do something with the color?” I ask, looking up at her face.

 

“Oh, but you have such a beautiful color right now!” she protests, taking a bit of it between her fingers.

 

“I just want a change,” I say.

 

The lady sighs.  “What are we talking?  Highlights, lowlights, starburst weave, ombre-”

 

“Full color,” I say hurriedly, and her eyes practically pop out of her head.

 

“Really?” she questions.  “Color all of this beautiful hair?  Oh my…  If it’s what you really want, then I guess I can…  What color are we talking?”

 

I think about this long and hard, staring at my reflection quizzically.  There are so many possibilities, so many things that could look bad, so many that could look good.  Finally, I choose a color that will go with nearly anything.  Plus, this color really isn’t my thing, so people probably won’t recognize me.

 

“Black,” I say confidently.  “Make it black."


	30. Chapter 30

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

“She what?” Paul asks, his eyes wide.

 

“She stayed in America,” I reply, my hands shaking.  “We have to go back.”

 

“Wait,” Paul says, rubbing his temples.  “You mean to tell me that your girlfriend just left you, and you want to go _back?_ ”

 

That feels like a dagger in my chest.  “I have to,” I say harshly, my bottom lip quivering.  “I love her with all of my heart, I’m not going to let her slip away this easily.”

 

“Niall,” he sighs, patting the seat next to him.  “Let’s think about this for a minute.”

 

I shake my head, keeping my balance as the plane hits a bit of turbulence.  “There’s nothing to think about.  I’m going back for her.”

 

“You can’t,” Paul says.  “As soon as we get into Paris you boys have a signing and then a concert that night.  Then the rest of the tour.  It’s not possible to go back.”

 

“I don’t think you understand,” I hiss, clenching my fists.  “I love her, and why she stayed I have absolutely no idea.  But I’m going back for her because I have to.”

 

“You don’t even know where she is,” Paul says roughly.  “We’re two hours into the flight, she could be halfway across Texas by now, and we can’t get off this plane for another ten hours.  Then, if you _were_ to go back, that would take _another_ twelve hours.  Twenty-four hours total, Niall.  She could literally be halfway across the country by then.  In either direction.”

 

“I don’t care,” I reply, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

 

“Everyone else does, Niall.  Don’t do this to yourself.  Don’t go back to find nothing.”

 

“Then what the hell am I supposed to do?” I whimper, plopping down next to Paul.  “I can’t just sit here wondering why in the world she left me.  I love her with all of my heart - I need to know why she didn’t stay with me.”

 

“Let’s not talk about this now,” Paul sighs, setting a hand on my shoulder.

 

I shrug him off.  “When are we supposed to talk about it?” I moan, putting my head in my hands.  “I can’t live without her, Paul.”

 

“Niall,” he says quietly.  “I think you’re going to have to.”

 

 

 

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

“There you are,” the lady says, taking the last of my hair out of the foil.

 

My jaw drops as she spins my chair around to face the mirror.  My hair falls at my shoulder - and it’s pitch black.  “Oh my God,” I say, my hand covering my mouth.

 

“I told you that you’d look different,” she tsks, shaking her head.  “That beautiful red-brown is gone now.  Lucky for you, any type of hair color could fit you.  But it’s actually super hard to recognize you anymore.  How will Niall know who you-”

 

“-That’s kinda the point,” I say quietly.

 

“What do you mean?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Nothing,” I say quickly.  “Thank you for doing my hair.”

 

“You’re welcome, I guess.”

 

 

\---

 

 

I let out a long breath as I stare at my reflection in the mirror.  Adding another stroke of mascara to each eye, I blink uncomfortably.  I’ve never put this kind of makeup on by myself before.  How women wear it on a regular basis, I have no idea.

 

I put a bit of eyeliner on and pull back to look at myself.  Not as good as what Lou does, but at least I look different.  _A lot different_.  The ends of my soft black hair tickle my shoulders and I brush through it once more.  Shaking my head, I exit the bathroom and collapse onto the bed.  How will I ever get a job?  I haven’t had a wide experience beside the pet shop, and I didn’t see any of those on my way through the city.  Sighing, I roll over to stare at my guitar.

 

“That’s got to be worth something,” I whisper, tears brimming my eyes.

 

I walk over and take it out of the case.  Picking up the pick, I take a seat on the bed and start strumming a random chord.  Closing my eyes, I think of all the memories this guitar holds in its short time with me - with us.  I can practically still feel Niall’s hand gently guiding mine to press down on the right strings, telling me which ones to strum.

 

Taking in a shaky breath, I dab up a tear brimming in my eye.  I don’t want to part with it - the loss would be too much for me to bear on top of Niall.  _You_ left _him_ , Maci.  Yeah, and I regret it already.

 

I sniff softly, playing a string of chords to form a familiar pattern.  Remembering how Niall’s fingers played the chords for _Everything Has Changed_ , I inhale deeply.  I can’t find the will to sing the verses, remembering Niall’s reaction to my voice-

 

“That’s it,” I whisper, sitting up straighter.

 

Singing.  That’s what’ll get me through.  Niall and the boys said I have an amazing voice - and coming from them, I’d say that was a big accomplishment.  I’ve got to be worth something.  I won’t have to get rid of the guitar - I’ll just learn songs to play.

 

The idea makes me smile, despite the unreliability of it.  I mean, who’s to say for certain I’ll make anything, anyway?  But if it means I get to keep my guitar, then I’ll try for it.  I rush over to the 6th story window and peer down on the streets, looking for a town square or something of high people trafficking.  The I spot it, just down the block.

 

It’s a suitable area, quite cute actually.  There is a ring of trees around a collection of six park benches, a walkway going through the middle.  Not many people are on the benches, but quite a few are walking through.  I hurry from the window and to the guitar, putting it in its case.  _It’s only noon.  I’ve got all day._

 

I quickly latch the case and snag the keycard on my way out the door.

 

 

\---

 

 

[<http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=70968426>] 

 

The walk is shorter than I expected.  It takes me maybe three minutes to get down to the park and set the guitar in my lap, leaving the case open and pointed toward the passing people.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the few movies that I was allowed to watch, it’s that you always have to start somewhere, and people will follow.  I toss a five dollar bill into the guitar case and sit back in the bench.

 

Taking a deep breath, my fingers shift on the fret board to for a G chord.  I strum softly, making the nice chord sound quietly.  Then my fingers for a D and I strum that quietly as well, followed by an E minor and a C chord.  This song is one of the first that Niall taught me - I know all the words and the strumming pattern is surprisingly easy.  Four strums on each note, muting the chord after every strum.  I play this, staring down at my constantly moving fingers as my strums become less quiet.  Not looking up to see if people are watching, I open my mouth to sing the words - but no sound leaves my throat.

 

_Come on, Maci.  Do this or you won’t be able to live on your own.  Get over your fear - Niall and the boys think you’re amazing.  Just reach out of your comfort zone.  Do this for yourself - do this for Niall._

 

With that though, I find the courage to open my mouth.

 

“ _Well you dawned on my_

_And you bet I felt it._

_I tried to be chill_

_But you’re so hot that I melted._

_I fell right through the cracks._

_Now I’m tryin’ to get back.”_

 

_I’m Yours,_ thankfully, is a fairly simple song, both melody and word-wise.  I carry throughout the rest of the song, not looking up a single time.  For some reason, I’m afraid that people aren’t watching, and I’m making a fool of myself - but at the same time, I’m afraid that they _are_ watching.

 

Strumming the last note of the song, I suck in a long breath.  There’s the sound of a couple claps that make me jump, and my face turns red as I look up at the few people that’ve come to watch.  A couple looking to be in their mid-forties sits on a bench across the way, smiling at me.  An older woman has stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and turned herself to face me, a curious look on her face.

 

“That was wonderful,” an old man sitting on the bench beside mine says to me.  He tosses a dollar into my guitar case, making my face glow a brighter red.  “Could you play another?”

 

I nod, sucking in a deep breath.  My fingers find the A minor chord and I strum lightly, trying to recall the somewhat more difficult fingerings of these chords.  As soon as I get comfortable changing from A minor to F, from F to C, from C to E minor, then back to A minor, I go into the first verse.

 

“ _If I had to_

_I would put myself right beside you._

_So let me ask_

_Would you like that, would you like that?_

 

_And I don’t mind_

_If you say this love is the last time._

_Just let me say_

_That I like that, I like that.”_

 

The chorus of _The Diary of Jane_ comes easy to me, both vocally and instrumentally.  For some reason this song draws more emotion out of me than I would like, my voice growing louder and thick with feeling.

 

“ _Something’s getting in the way._

_Something’s just about to break._

_I will try to find my place_

_In the diary of Jane,_

_So tell me_

_How it should be.”_

 

My voice in the bridge is laced with emotion, unintentionally allowing my voice to grow even louder and - I’m sure - carry throughout the small park.

 

_“Desperate, I will crawl._

_Waiting for so long._

_No love,_

_There’s no love._

 

_Die for anyone,_

_What have I become?”_

 

The song lasts for about a minute more, and I open my eyes hesitantly as the last chord fades out.  A few more people have gathered, staring at me either curiously or with smiles.  I see that several more dollars have been placed in the guitar case, making me smile.

 

“How about another?” a woman asks politely, holding her small boy’s hand in hers.

 

I look over to the child, smiling widely.  His cheeks turn rosy as he shyly smiles back, hiding behind his mother’s leg a bit.

 

“Is there something he wants to hear?” I ask, looking back up at the woman.  The corners of her mouth tease upward and she crouches down, whispering to the boy.  I see his eyes widen and his smile grow.  He whispers something back to her, and she nods.  Standing up, she turns to face me.

 

“Could you play _Boulevard of Broken Dreams_ by Green Day?” she asks kindly.  “It’s my son’s favorite.”

 

I close my eyes for a minutes, running through the song in my head.  I know all the words, but the chords could prove a problem.  Going from memory, I softly strum a few chords in a sort of trial-and-error.  My fingers eventually find the right ones, and I open my eyes to look at them again.

 

“Of course,” I say with a smile.

 

The little boys gasps and hops up and down, tugging on his mother’s sleeve and smiling like crazy.  This coaxes my smile even wider, chuckling a little as I see the woman share an equal excitement for the sake of the boy.  He looks back expectantly as a few more people stop to see what others are watching - me.  Taking a deep breath, I carry into the first verse.

 

_“I walk a lonely road_

_The only one that I have ever known._

_Don’t know where it goes,_

_But it’s only me and I walk alone.”_

 

My fingers find each chord as I quickly switch back and forth, watching the happiness on the boy’s face increase as I get further into the song.  Two or three more dollars are placed into my guitar case, creating a small pile in the middle of the body indentation.  I smile, singing the last few words for the boy.  As I finish, he hops up and down even more excitedly, squealing to his mother while tugging on her shirt.  She beams down at him and pulls a bill out of her purse, handing it to the child.  As she whispers something in his ear his face lights up.  He shyly trots over to me and sets the bill down gently in my case.

 

“Thank you, miss,” he says sweetly, his cheeks a rosy color.

 

“You’re always welcome,” I reply.

 

His mother calls him back and he takes her hand, skipping away happily.  My heart swells, seeing how happy I’ve made him.  I’m making money doing something I’ve always wanted to do.  Just like Niall does-

 

_No.  I won’t think about him._ My eyes prick as I think about earlier today - not four hours ago I left the boy I love.  But I can’t think about him now.  I’m singing for the people who’ll listen.

 

“Any more requests?” I ask quietly, and a few hands go up.

 

 

\---

 

 

***************NEXT DAY***************

 

[<http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=71029984>]

 

I sigh, shaking the last of the moisture out of my short hair.  It seems so different - almost _wrong_ \- to not feel my previous waves gently brushing my back.  _Nine inches_ is what she cut off, and I had let her!  I wasn’t thinking, and now I have shoulder-length _black_ hair.

 

But I also don’t want to get recognized.  The last thing I want is for Niall to find me.  I love him, but me being near him is only getting in the way.  Of everything.

 

I put on less eyeliner and mascara today than I did yesterday, just because I can barely stand it.  My quiet hums are interrupted by a large yawn - I still haven’t slept since before Niall left.  No matter how much I want to fall asleep, I can’t let my father get to me.  And from the last nightmare - Niall is part of the horror, too.

 

Brushing out the last of the tangles in my hair, I sigh heavily.  At least I’m away from my father.  At least I’m not getting in the way and not making Niall doing anything he’ll regret.

 

My phone buzzes on the dresser, making me jump.  On my walk over the phone vibrates four more times.  I pick up my phone, seeing texts that make my chest heave.

 

_From Nialler;) :  Where are you, Love?_

 

_From Nialler;) :  Maci, please.  Tell me where you are.  I love you._

 

_From Nialler;) :  I can’t live without you.  Please, where are you?  I love you._

 

_From Nialler;) :  Are you safe?  Please, just let me know if you’re alright.  I love you._

 

_From Nialler;) :  I’ll never understand.  But please, I just want you to know that I’ll always love you._

 

And just like that, I can’t breathe.

 

All the emotional pain that I’ve been holding back crushes me, my chest constricting.  I stumble back, falling onto the bed as my phone drops to the ground.  My head falls into my hands as tears cloud my vision.  _I shouldn’t have left._ But if I hadn’t, there’s no telling how bad it would have gotten for Niall.  And me.

 

My phone buzzes again, making me jump.

 

_From Caroline:  How are you, Love?  Doing okay so far?_

 

_To Caroline:  Yes._

 

_No._ Not at all.  Yesterday, things were looking up.  Niall hadn’t talked to me, my mind had strayed from him for a while.  But I now realize that I’d forgotten one thing.  Niall still has my phone number.  I can’t answer him.  I don’t think my heart - or his, for that matter - could stand it.

 

Wiping away a stray tear, I set my phone back on the dresser.  Taking a deep breath, I pick up my key card and my guitar case and head out the door.

 

 

\---

 

 

“ _You can never say never_

_While we don’t know when_

_But time and time again_

_Younger now than we were before_

 

_Don’t let me go_

_Don’t let me g0_

_Don’t let me go_

_Don’t let me go.”_

 

There are a few claps as I finish the song.  It’s nearly four o’clock - I’ve been out here since ten, just taking song requests.  There’s a pile of dollar bills in my case, and a few people have thrown in fives, some even tens.

 

“Any more requests?” I ask, readjusting on the bench.  “I have one more song in me.”  A girl in her teens who’s been here for quite a while raises her hand.  I smile at her.  “What would you like to hear?”

 

“Well,” she says shyly.  “Could you do _Everything Has Changed_ by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran?”

 

My face falls and my chest heaves.  That’s the song Niall and I first sang together when he had just started teaching me guitar.  The song had been a wonderful choice for our voices, and singing with him had been amazing.  I just don’t think that I can replicate it without breaking down.

 

“Oh,” she says, a little surprised at my reaction.  “I’m sorry, if you can’t that’s fine.  I didn’t mean to-”

 

“-No,” I interrupt her, shaking my head.  “It’s fine.  I can do it.”  The corners of my mouth tip down as I strum the first chords of the song.  My voice shakes a bit as the words leave my mouth.

 

“ _All I knew this morning when I woke_

_Is I know something now, know something now_

_I didn’t before._

 

_And all I’ve seen since 18 hours ago_

_Is green eyes and freckles and your smile in_

_The back of my mind making me feel like_

 

_I just wanna know you better, know you better.”_

 

All of my effort is going into keeping my voice level and my expression steady.  With every new word my chest tightens, making it harder and harder for me to sing.  Thankfully no one notices, and I finish the song without incident.  The girl beams and throws a couple dollars in my case, then walks away.  As I put my guitar back in the case the small crowd disperses, leaving me to pack up and walk back to the hotel.

 

The whole way I’m crushed by how much the song means to me, no matter how small the reason.  As I enter the front door of the hotel, I realize just what leaving Niall is going to mean for me.

 

Leaving Niall means no support anymore.  Leaving means left alone to deal with problems that will become so much harder without someone to help you through.  Leaving means breaking both mine and his heart.  Leaving means walking away from everything Niall and I had; all of the laughs, the sweet moments, the ‘I love you’s, the kisses, comforting embraces, assurance.  But most of all, leaving means never loving anyone as much as I love him - ever again.

 

I fumble with the key card and finally slide it into the lock.  Throwing the door open, I slide inside the room with just enough time to set down my guitar, close the door, and sprawl out onto the bed before the tears come.

 

As I struggle for breath, they flow down my cheeks and soak into the pillow, leaving dark stains from my makeup.  But I don’t think about that.  I can only think about Niall right now.  It seems like I’m never going to forget him - and honestly, I don’t want to.

 

This is going to be an impossibly long rest of my life.


	31. Chapter 31

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

*Week two without the girl I love*

 

 

I’m sleeping again, but I hate every second of it.  I feel selfish.  How can I just sit here, living a great life while my girlfriend - actually, I don’t even know what we are anymore - is back in the US, probably depriving herself of sleep and beating herself up over something that’s not her fault?

 

I love her with all of my heart.  But she left me.  We’ve only been together - well, were together - for a month and a little while, but it just feels - felt - so right with her.  I honestly think that I want to spend the rest of my life with her.  But now that she’s gone…  I can’t.  I don’t even know if I’ll ever see Maci again, but I’m doing everything in my power to figure out where she is.

 

The fans have started to ask where she is, but I don’t have an answer.  Twitter is blowing up with rumors, pictures of girls that look just like Maci - but I know they’re not her.  No one is like Maci, not even close.

 

I fumble with the promise ring [<http://emily0630.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/13.jpg?w=584>] I’d gotten about three weeks back.  Maci thought I’d just gotten her the guitar when we stopped before the park, but coincidentally there had been a jeweler a couple shops down from music store.  It’d been an impulse purchase, but I’d been saving it for after the rest of our Europe tour.  The rest of my life with Maci had sounded amazing, but now that she’s gone…  We can’t share something like that.

 

“Come on, Nialler,” Liam says, nudging my arm.  “We’ve got to get out there.”

 

My senses tune back in to reality.  The crowd just behind this wall screams in anticipation.  I wince, letting the ring drop into my pocket - reminding me again of Maci’s absence.  There’s a hole in my heart that only threatens to grow.  Even the well-rested part of me tires with the effort my mind is making in trying to get over her.  But I know my heart will never let that happen.

 

I take a deep breath before jogging out on stage.

 

 

 

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

*Week three without the boy I love*

 

 

I’m starting to notice all the small things that are different without him.  I miss being in his arms, I miss his small compliments, I miss the way the light reflects off of his blue eyes, I miss his laugh, his smile, even the way he talks in his sleep.  I miss talking to him, but I can’t bring myself to answer the messages he’s sent me every day since I left.  Everything reminds me of him.

 

“Hey girl!” Ryanne chirps, sitting down in the seat across from me.

 

“Hey, Ryanne,” I mumble, giving her a half smile.  She slides a cup of coffee across the table and I give her a small ‘thanks’ before taking a sip.

 

“What’s up with you?” she asks, resting her chin on her hand.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well you just seem down,” she states, taking a sip of her drink.

 

“I’m fine,” I reply, tapping my fingers on the table.

 

“No you’re not,” She says, rolling her eyes.  “I’ve known you how long?  I can tell that there’s something up.”

 

“You’ve known me two weeks,” I say.  It’s my turn to roll my eyes.

 

“Psh!  So?” she crosses her arms.  “You’re avoiding the question, anywho.”

 

“I said I’m fine,” I sigh heavily.  I haven’t told Ryanne about who I am, or Niall, or my father - any of it.  She only knows my first name.  It’s a good thing, too, because she’s a big One Direction fan.  Talks with her always coast to them, and they get harder and harder every time.

 

“You’re not telling me something,” she sing-songs, shaking her head.

 

I shrug, taking a sip of my coffee.  My phone suddenly vibrates on the table, making me jump a bit.  I reach for it, but I’m too slow.  Ryanne snatches it away with a giggle and unlocks my phone.

 

“Ryanne, stop!” I shout in a panic, standing up.  But I’m too late - she’s seen the message.

 

Her eyes go wide and she looks up at me, her mouth hanging open.  I try to take my phone back but she holds it out of my reach, reading it another time.  I wince as she turns her head back to me again.

 

“Maci?” Ryanne squeaks.  She holds the phone just out of reach, but turns the screen so I can see the message.

 

_From Nialler;) :  Please let me know where you are.  I love you, Maci.  So much._

 

“Is this what you’re not telling me?”

 

 

 

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

*Week four without her*

 

 

There’s honestly not much to say about me right now.  Without Maci I feel like nothing.  The promise ring weighs me down, a constant reminder of the month without her.  It’s been a month.  _A month,_ and I’m already so down I feel like any lower would be burying myself.

 

She won’t answer me.  Not once has she answered, not even to tell me if she’s okay.  Caroline insists that she’s checking in on her, but I won’t believe Maci’s okay until she says so herself.

 

But that’s the thing, too.  Caroline says she’s talking to Maci.  Caroline is talking to Maci, but she won’t tell me where she is.  Why would Caroline do that to me?  Caroline’s also made darn sure that I can’t get anywhere near her phone.  Why can’t she understand that I need Maci?  I need Maci more than I can even comprehend, and it’s killing me to know that she’s probably still not sleeping, _and_ blaming herself.

 

I am so tempted every day to just take a plane back to the US and find her myself.  But then I run into the problem of not knowing even remotely where she could be.  I sure hope to God that it’s not back in Florida with her father.  Then I definitely wouldn’t be able to live with myself.

 

I haven’t stopped sending her messages, in hopes that she’ll reply eventually.  I don’t even care if it’s in ten years - I’ll never love anyone like I love her.  Did you hear that?

 

Never.

 

 

 

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

*Five weeks without him*

 

 

“I can’t believe you still won’t tell me,” Ryanne grumbles, shoving another handful of popcorn into her mouth.

 

“And I can’t believe you won’t leave me alone,” I shoot back, changing the channel on her TV.

 

“Yikes,” she says, holding up her hands.  “Sorry.”

 

I sigh heavily.  “I wouldn’t even get one sentence out without breaking down.”

 

“I don’t care,” she says, setting the bowl of popcorn down on the coffee table.  “I’m here for you.  I already know some of it, anyway.”

 

She’s referring to the story she told herself after seeing the message from Niall.  Granted, she has most of it right, but I still don’t want to talk to her about it.  No matter how much I trust Ryanne to be there for me, I don’t think she’d be able to pull me out of the hole I’d be digging myself by talking about how much I’m still in love with Niall.

 

“Please, Maci,” she begs, tugging a blanket around her shoulders.  “I’m here for you.  Just tell me.”

 

It’s tempting.  I want so much to just dump out what I’ve been holding in for the past five weeks.  Ryanne still doesn’t know what happened before Niall and I got together.  She doesn’t know how much I’ve been through - why I left.  She honestly doesn’t even know that I did leave.  For all she knows, I’m just some girl Niall loves that happens to have the same name as Niall’s ex-girlfriend.  Quite honestly, that’s what she thinks, and that’s what I’ve let her believe.  I hate being dishonest with her.  I hate it so much.

 

“Maci?” she says, putting a hand on my shoulder.  “You okay?  You’re zoning out on me.  Just get it off your chest.”

 

My chest tightens, thinking of all the feelings that I’m holding inside.  They fight to get out, just to let someone else share the load.  I’m a burden and I know it, but I don’t think my heart - or my mind - care at this point.  The emotional dam in my mind is breaking, and I can’t stop it.

 

“You have to promise me something,” I say, staring blankly at the wall.  Ryanne nods eagerly, and I continue.  “You have to promise that no matter what, you can’t flip out on me, and you can’t tell anyone.”

 

“My tits are calmed, and my lips are sealed,” she replies cheerfully with a smile.

 

I can’t help but chuckle a bit.  It only lasts for a second, though.  The reminder of how emotionally painful this is comes rushing back, pushing and pushing against the dam in my head and in my heart.

 

“Okay,” I say, pushing a lock of my black hair - now grown to below my shoulder - behind my ear.  Then the dam breaks, and it all just pours out of me.

 

 

\---

 

 

My eyes sting and my shoulders shake violently with my own sobs.  Ryanne holds my whimpering form in her arms, telling me everything will be okay.  I told her about my father, how Niall and I met, how I left to go on tour with him, the nightmares, the sleepless nights, the flubbed concerts, the airport, even why I dyed my hair, that I miss him with all of my heart - everything.  I know most of it is my fault.  But somehow, I feel better.

 

I hadn’t told anyone just exactly what my nightmares are like.  But now that I have, a huge weight I didn’t even know was there has been lifted off of me.  And just like that, I’m free.  Free from my father and free from the nightmares that have bound me for the past three months.  Free from the nightmares that tore me from Niall.

 

This realization has me reeling, pushing back from Ryanne.  She looks at me with a confused expression, obviously surprised by my reactions.  My eyes go wide as my sobs subside and I throw myself into her arms again, squealing with joy.

 

“I’m free, Ryanne,” I whisper into her shoulder.  “I’m free of him.”

 

“Of Niall!?” she asks, sounding almost horrified.

 

“No!” I laugh, pulling back again.  “I’m free of the nightmares.  I’m free of him.  I’m free!”

 

“Are you sure?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.  “You were just telling me about how horrible they are, and you’re only sleeping for twenty minutes every night because of them.”

 

My heart sinks a bit.  “Oh,” I say, looking down.  “I guess I don’t really know for sure.”

 

Ryanne shakes her head.  “Don’t get down on me, you were just so happy.  Maybe you could try it out?  Do you want to spend the night here?  I’ll be right here with you, just in case you wake up.”

 

My eyes widen.  “That would be amazing.  Oh God, Ryanne, thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me!”

 

She smiles widely.  “But first - if you don’t mind, of course - I’d love to see some pictures.”

 

I smile back at her.  Having told her the whole story, I feel like sharing the load has made the subject easier to talk about.  I pull out my phone and unlock it, scrolling to the pictures app.  I haven’t deleted a single one that Niall and I took together.

 

“Of course,” I say.

 

 

 

~*Ryanne’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

Maci shows me picture after adorable picture of her and Niall together.  She looks so much different now because of her hair and makeup, but you can still sort of tell that it’s her under there.  She and Niall look as cute as ever in every picture, and I can’t believe these two can even stay apart from each other.  Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Niall had this Maci ‘homing beacon’ inside of his head that he would use to find her.  With the sources he has, I’m surprised that he _hasn’t_ found her.

 

But then there’s that small issue of Maci not wanting to be found.  She blames herself, and that’s pretty much the only thing still keeping these two apart.  Maci’s afraid that if he comes back it’ll end up the same.  Plus, even though she says she’s free of the nightmares, I know that she feels guilty about leaving him.  That might also be a factor in why she doesn’t want to see him again.  She doesn’t want to face the person that she left.

 

“Maci,” I say, setting my hand on her shoulder.  “You’ve got to call him.”

 

Her eyes go wide and she shakes her head vigorously.  “I can’t, Ryanne.”

 

“And why is that?” I question, putting a hand on my hip.

 

She lets out a shaky breath.  “What if he’s angry with me?”

 

“Maci, you know that’s not true,” I tell her, crossing my arms.  “All he wants to do is be with you.  Have you even paid any attention to the messages he’s been sending you?  Niall has no idea where you are, and he’s loving you with all of his heart while you sit here feeling sorry for yourself.”

 

Maci’s face drops noticeably and I immediately feel bad.  “I didn’t mean it like that,” I say quickly.  “I just mean to say that while you’re here thinking that it’s all your fault and he’ll never forgive you, he already has.”

 

Her eyes well with tears.  “How are you for sure?” she asks shakily, playing with the ends of her fingers.

 

I shrug.  “If he hadn’t forgiven you, he wouldn’t be sending you ‘I love you’ messages every day.  Every day he sends you messages asking where you are and if you’ll just come back to him.  I know he’s forgiven you because you never did anything _to_ forgive.  Plus, I’ve seen all the movies - this is a pretty movie-ish situation.”

 

I get a small grin out of her and she wipes at her eyes.  “Thank you for that.  But I’m still not calling him.  I don’t want anything to happen where I have to leave again.”

 

I roll my eyes.  “You said yourself, you’re free of your nightmares.  What else could get in the way?”

 

He expression darkens a bit.  “I don’t know for sure about the nightmares.  And honestly?  Anything could get in the way.”

 

“Rubbish!” I shout in a posh accent.  “You’ve got to call him sooner or later.”

 

“I choose later, then,” she replies, shifting so she’s laying down on the couch.  “Much, much later.  Now help me find out if my nightmares are really gone.”

 

“How do I do that?” I ask, furrowing my eyebrows.

 

Maci giggles a bit.  “Watch me sleep.”

 

 

\---

 

 

Oh my _God_ this is boring.

 

I’ve been sitting up for the past three freaking hours, just watching her sleep.  I feel like a total creep!  If she hasn’t woken up by now, I don’t think she’s going to have the nightmares anymore.

 

I can’t help but think of how much she needs to call Niall.  But I also can’t help thinking of who it is we’re actually _talking_ about!  Niall Horan from One Direction - my _favorite_ band.  My best friend is in love with Niall Horan - and he loves her back!  I have to walk into the kitchen to have a total fan-girl moment so I don’t wake Maci.

 

But because Maci loves Niall, she needs to grow a pair and swallow her fears.  I walk back into the living room and sit on the floor, leaning against the coffee table as I stare at Maci’s phone.  How easy would it be just to open her phone and call him?  I could even do it now, while she’s asleep.  I could tell him where she is and he would come over and show her how happy she can be now that her nightmares are gone.

 

But on the flip side, Maci could hate me for it.  She refuses to see how good Niall would be for her right now.  Niall needs Maci, and vice versa.  That’s a fact.  Whether she chooses to believe it or not, calling him is what she needs most right now.  She’ll love me for it later.

 

I pick up her phone and unlock it, scrolling through her contacts until I reach Niall’s number.  _Niall Horan’s_ number.  I quickly pull out my phone and enter him into my contacts, oh and Harry’s, too - just in case, you know?  I look over at the clock on the wall.  It’s midnight here, making it four o’clock in the morning over there.  I send up a silent prayer that his phone isn’t on silent and that he’ll wake up to the call.  Getting up quietly, I quickly hurry into my bedroom and shut the door so I don’t wake Maci up.

 

Then I hit send.

 

 

 

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

I nearly wet myself when my phone goes off full blast right in my ear.  My eyes fly wide open and I sit straight up, hitting my head on the roof of the bunk.  I grunt as my head starts to throb and turn angrily to the upturned device that woke me from my dream about Maci.

 

Yes, I dream about Maci.  Yes, it’s creepy.  And yes, I love it.

 

I snatch my phone up and rub my eyes before turning it over to look at the screen.  My eyes take a moment to adjust to the bright display and I huff impatiently as my eyes sting a bit.  I swear, this better not be some idiot thinking he’s fun-

 

I nearly drop the phone as I see the name displayed on the front.  My mouth falls open and I rub my eyes again, looking more closely at the name on the screen.  _Maci W._   Oh my God.  It’s Maci.

 

Someone pinch me, I’m still dreaming.

 

My heart flies into my throat as I hit the ‘answer’ button and put the phone up to my ear.  _Please don’t let me wake up just yet._   I’m frozen for a bit, not knowing how to answer.  Should I say a simple ‘hello’, should I say ‘I love you’, should I not say anything?

 

“Maci?” I croak instead.

 

“Niall?” a quiet voice comes on the other line - but it’s not Maci’s.

 

“Who is this?” I question, annoyed.

 

“It’s a friend of Maci’s.  My name is Ryanne.”

 

I furrow my eyebrows.  “Where is Maci?”

 

The girl on the other line lets out a long breath.  “She’s sleeping right now.”

 

“Sleeping?” I ask, bewildered.  _Sleeping?_

 

“Yeah,” Ryanne replies.  “Her nightmares are gone now.”

 

My chest heaves.  I don’t know what emotion I’m feeling.  I’m kind of just a jumbled mess.  “Why are you calling?”

 

“Because it’s the right thing to do,” Ryanne says, and I hear the squeak of a chair in the background.  “Maci loves you with all of her heart, and she needs you even more.”

 

Tears prick at my eyes.  “It’s the same for me.”

 

“I know,” she sighs.  “It’s just that Maci feels too guilty about leaving.  She still thinks that all of this crap is her fault and that she doesn’t deserve to have you back.”

 

“That is far from the truth,” I say urgently, wanting to make a point.  “First of all, this is absolutely _not_ her fault.  It’s her father’s.  Second, there is only one thing in this world that she doesn’t deserve, and that’s punishment.  Maci doesn’t deserve the punishment that she’s pushing onto herself.”

 

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” she says.  “I figured that one out halfway through her story.”

 

I close my eyes tightly, pushing back the urge to break down.  Whether it’s from sadness, guilt, happiness, or just plain relief - I don’t know.  “Please,” I beg, trying to keep my voice level.  “Just tell me where she is.”

 

“I’ll not only tell you where she is,” Ryanne replies.  “I’ll set something up for you two.  She’s not getting away this time.”

 

A bit of pain stabs at my heart, remembering how I found out that Maci left.  “Okay,” I breathe.  “Where is she?”

 

“First off; how soon can you get in the US?”

 

I think about this for a minute.  We’ll be in Munich by  seven this morning.  If I can slip away, I can catch a flight at 8:30, and be in the US by seven o’clock at night, US time.  Plus, if I don’t let the lads know, the paps likely wouldn’t know at all until they do.

 

“By tonight,” I reply.

 

“Great,” she says.

 

“So what am I supposed to do?” I ask impatiently.  “Where is she?”

 

There’s a chuckle on the other line.  “Don’t worry, Nialler,” Ryanne says.  “I’ve got a plan.”


	32. Chapter 32

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

*****THREE HOURS LATER*****

 

I sling my backpack over my shoulder, turning my phone off so I won’t receive any messages from the lads or Paul, and slide it int0 my pocket.  It’s almost seven - I’ve got to go now.  The bus is already parked behind the concert hall, and Paul and the boys snore noisily as I make my way out into the front room.  Going very quietly, I creep to the bus’s door.

 

“Where are you going?” the bus driver asks, making me jump out of my skin.

 

“Uhh,” I say quietly, twitching nervously.  “I’m going…  I’m going out.”

 

The bus driver shrugs.  “None of my business.  Just don’t get yourself killed, lad.”

 

“Thanks,” I say, letting out a breath.

 

With that, he turns around and starts reading a book.  I take one more deep breath before pushing quietly out door.  Just thirteen more hours and I’ll be with Maci.

 

Just thirteen more hours, and I’ll be with the love of my life.

 

 

 

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

“Oh my God,” I whisper as I open my eyes.  “No nightmares.”

 

I frantically search for Ryanne.  Finding her on the floor next to the couch, a shake her awake.

 

“Gahh, what!?” she shouts, swatting my hand away.

 

“No nightmares,” I say, my eyes pricking with happy tears.  “I really am free.”

 

“That’s great, Maci.  Now can you please let me sleep?  It’s freaking seven in the morning on a _Saturday_.  Go back to bed.”

 

“Way to ruin the mood,” I grumble, standing up and stretching.  “I’m not tired anymore.”

 

“Wonderful,” Ryanne says, turning over.  “Go make breakfast.”

 

I stick out my tongue before nudging her side with my foot.  I step over her protesting figure and walk to the kitchen.  Pulling a carton of eggs out of the fridge, I put a pan on the stove to heat up.

 

“How do you want your eggs?” I call into the living room.

 

“Sunny-side-up,” Ryanne’s rough morning voice replies.

 

I smile, sharing a small joke with myself.  Sunny-side-up eggs to start a sunny-side-up day.

 

 

\---

 

 

“Seriously,” Ryanne says, putting a hand on her hip.  “We’re going somewhere tonight.”

 

“Seriously?” I groan, turning the TV off.  “Why?  Can’t we just stay here and watch a movie?”

 

“Not a chance,” she replies, dragging me off the couch.  “Go home, shower, and dress nice.”

 

“ _You_ are going somewhere _nice_?” I joke, raising my eyebrows.

 

“ _We_ are going somewhere nice,” Ryanne says, pushing me toward the door.  “And it’s not really _nice_ , it’s more of a casual thing.  Just dress nicer than sweats and a t-shirt.”

 

“Fine, fine,” I grumble, gripping the handle.

 

“Good girl,” she smiles.  “Don’t forget, we’re going somewhere nice - ish.  Be ready by 7:30.  You’ve got three hours to blow me away.”

 

I let out a laugh as she shoos me out the door.

 

 

~*Ryanne’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

*********TWO ½ HOURS LATER*********

 

 

I search the crowd for Niall, wondering how the heck I’m going to find him with a hoodie and sunglasses on.  He doesn’t know what I look like, only making this situation harder.  My eyes dart from face to face, trying to find the right one.

 

People hurry around me, pushing past with luggage, children, animals, and just about everything else.  Flights are being called over the intercom every which way, making my head hurt.  I’m starting to think finding him is hopeless when I catch sight of a boy in a green hoodie, his head hung low.

 

I push down the major fan-girl in me and quickly make my way over to him.  Tapping him on the shoulder, I stop in front of him and cock my head to the side.

 

“Nialler?” I ask quietly.

 

“Ryanne?” he whisper shouts at me, making my smile grow wide.

 

“You betchya.”

 

He lets out a small sigh of relief.  “Can we get out of here?  I’m kinda claustrophobic.”

 

I laugh, having already learned this from several different blogs.  “‘Course.”

 

With that I turn around, leading him through all of people.  He follows closely, and I can sense his nervousness.  It takes all of three minutes to get outside and into my car.  I hastily pull out of the parking lot and down the road, the sky already growing darker.  Niall pulls off his shades and his hood and I have to stifle a squeal.  Turning to me, he smiles.

 

“You have no idea how much this means to me,” he says.

 

“All in a day’s work for Ryanne Mae Everett,” I joke, pulling up to a stop light.  “Bringing couples back together since last night.”

 

He turns his head to look out the window as the light turns green, not saying anything for a long time.  Finally, I hear him take a deep breath.  “I don’t want her to leave me again.  I want everything to go back to the way it was before all of her nightmares started.  I want to be able to hold her again; to be able to kiss her and tell her I love her again.”  He fumbles around in his pocket and digs out something.  “I want her to wear this.”

 

My jaw drops as I look at the item between his fingers.  _A ring_.  A freaking _ring_.  What!?

 

“You’re going to _propose?_ ” I squeak, nearly swerving off he road.

 

“No!” he shouts right away.  “Not propose.  It’s a promise, not a proposal.  I want to spend the rest of my life with Maci.  Since I met her I knew she was different, and nothing has changed.”

 

Okay, now I’m _really_ fan-girling on he inside.  Holy crap, this boy is romantic.  “You’re just going to drop the bomb on her like that?  After you haven’t seen her for almost a month and a half?”

 

Niall shifts in his seat uncomfortably.  “I love her.  I want to show her that.  Being separated hasn’t changed a thing.”

 

I shrug.  “Okay.”

 

“Okay?” he asks, seeming surprised.

 

“Okay,” I repeat.  “You do what you gotta do.  I’m only here to organize this shindig.”

 

“Humph,” Niall grunts, sitting back in his seat.

 

It’s quiet for a bit longer before I speak up again.  “Just about ten more minutes until we get there.  And just to let you know, she’s changed a lot.”

 

“Changed how?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

 

“She doesn’t look the same,” I reply.  “At all.  She’s started wearing makeup to avoid getting recognized.  Oh, and her hair?  It’s short now.  And remember how it’s reddish-brown?”

 

“Yeah,” Niall says, looking at me curiously.

 

“Well,” I say.  “Now it’s black.”

 

 

 

~*Niall’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

Oh my God.  I’m going to see Maci.  After a month and a half, I’m going to see the girl I love.  I feel almost numb as I stand with Ryanne, shifting my weight back and forth just outside the hotel Maci’s been staying in.

 

“You’re nervous,” she states, looking up from her phone.

 

“How can you tell?” I say dryly, trying to lighten the mood.  It doesn’t work.

 

“Relax,” she says.  “If you’re freaking out, she’s going to tear herself apart.”

 

My chest tightens and I kick a rock out into the street.  “I just don’t know how she’s going to react.  I love her more than anything, and I don’t think I can stand to see her run away.”

 

“Don’t worry,” Ryanne assures me.  “She loves you too - that’s easy to see.  She won’t run.”

 

I scratch the back of my neck, looking down at the ground.  “I guess.”

 

“Alright, it’s 7:30.  I’m gonna call her down.”

 

My chest tightens again and butterflies enter my stomach.  I haven’t seen her beautiful face in almost six weeks.  Ryanne says she’s changed her looks, but I don’t think that matters to me.  My mind is only focused on seeing her.  Hands shaking, I take a deep breath and lightly touch the promise ring in my pocket.  Tonight is the night.

 

“Earth to Niall,” Ryanne says, waving a hand in front of my face.

 

“Oh, what?” I say, shaking my head to clear it.

 

She laughs.  “Don’t zone out on me.  I’m calling her now.  Are you ready?”

 

I close my eyes, taking a deep breath.  I’ve waited for what seems like forever to see her again.  And now that I’m finally going to…  I’m at a loss for words.  What do I say?  I shake my head, clearing my thoughts.  Whatever.  At least I get to see her again.  I’ll just wing it.

 

“Of course,” I say to her, opening my eyes.

 

Ryanne gives me a small smile.  “It’ll turn out alright, Nialler.”

 

I nod as she dials Maci’s number on her phone.  She puts the device to her ear and I turn around, looking down the street.  Quite a few people are out walking the sidewalks, and several cars are on the roads.  The evening air is nice, warmer here than in Europe.  There’s little humidity, making it that much better.

 

“Hey girl,” Ryanne pipes happily behind me.  “Come on down, I’m ready!”  She pauses, listening to a reply.  _Maci’s_ reply.  “Okay.  Yup.  What am I wearing?”  Ryanne grabs my shoulder and turns me around, studying my outfit.  “I’m in a green hoodie and kaki pants.  Oh please, you don’t have to change.  You’ll look lovely!  Just hurry your butt up, okay?  Bye, chickie!”

 

“Oh my God,” I breathe as Ryanne puts her phone in her pocket.

 

“What?” she says raising her eyebrow.

 

“I don’t know what to say,” I groan, my chest constricting.  “I’ve been waiting to hear her voice for all this time, but I don’t know what to say.  I feel like I’m going to bawl as soon as I see her - I’m just overwhelmed with every kind of emotion there is.”

 

She pats my shoulder.  “You’ll do fine.  The words will come to you.  Now I’ve got to hide!”  Ryanne darts into the alley separating the hotel and a small shop.  “Put your hood up and turn so she can’t see your face!” she whisper shouts at me, making a twirling motion with her hands.

 

I quickly do as she says, shoving my hands in my pockets.  My hands start shaking as I fiddle with the ring.  Shaky breaths escape my mouth as Ryanne peers around the corner of the building.

 

“Here she comes,” she breathes.  “You’ve got this, Niall.  Remember, you love her.”

 

“How could I forget?” I mumble, my chest growing tighter.

 

It takes all I have in me not to just whip around and run at Maci and pull her into a hug.  I just want to hold her.  I just want to tell her I love her and never have to see her suffer again.  I just want the adorable insecurities of her, I want to give her compliments that she’ll never except.  I want to feel her kiss again, be able to put this ring on her finger and know that it means a promise for forever.  I just want Maci.  Just her.

 

“Ryanne, I feel so overdressed!” I hear her wonderful voice call out.  My throat closes and my bottom lip trembles with emotion.  _Oh God._   “Where are we even going?” Maci says, getting even closer.  I can’t do anything but stare straight ahead.  She’s right there.  _She’s right there._   “Ryanne, are you listening to me?” Maci asks, and I feel her hand grip my shoulder, sending tingles all throughout my body.

 

“Take your hood down, it’s warm out here!” I feel her hand out the hood, slowly pulling it off of my head.  “Wait, you’re not-”

 

“-Maci,” I breathe, turning to face her.  I take in her beautiful features - yes, her hair has changed drastically.  But I don’t care.  The outfit [<http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_27/set?id=71174346>] she has on fits her personality perfectly.

 

Happiness and relief flood my entirety.  Just seeing her makes everything okay.  The girl I’ll always love stands right in front of me, and arm’s length away.  _So close._   I feel a giant smile spread across my face.  Then I see the exact opposite flood through hers.

 

“Niall,” she chokes, taking a shaky step backward.  Recognition fills her face, soon replaced with guilt and fear.

 

“Maci,” I say again, taking a step toward her.  “Please, just let me explain-”

 

“-No,” she blurts.  Her eyes well with tears and her body begins to tremble.  “Please, don’t do this.  Not now.  Just go home.”

 

My mouth drops open with unspoken words.  I see tears cloud my own vision, hurt filling my whole body.  _Go home?_   “Maci, please-”

 

“-No!” she shouts again, shaking her head.  “You shouldn’t have come here, Niall.”

 

I feel my expression crumple and my shoulders drop.  My breath shakes and I look at Maci as a tear slides down her cheek.  “Just let me-”

 

I don’t get to finish.  Maci takes off down the sidewalk, leaving me standing there like a blubbering idiot.  It suddenly feels like every bone in my body has been shattered, my legs growing weak.  She’s doing the one thing that I had subconsciously known she’d do all along.  She’s running.  Ryanne was wrong.  I was wrong.

 

Despite my trembling figure, I do the only thing I can do - something I’d failed to do last time.

 

I run after her.

 

 

 

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

“No,” I moan, choking back sobs as I sprint through the people crowding the sidewalk.

 

This can’t be happening.  He can’t be here.  Niall can’t find me.  I can’t face him.  I left him, and it was both the worst and the best decision of my entire life.  Leaving him saved him from the sleepless nights and bad concerts - he could continue on in his career.  But leaving him also broke both of our hearts.  I regret leaving him, but that’s just it.  _I_ left him.  I don’t deserve to have him back.

 

“Maci!” I hear him call from behind me.  I can hear his heavy footsteps against the concrete getting a little closer with each second passing by.  “Maci, please!”

 

I know he’s faster than me, but I speed up anyway.  He doesn’t know the city and I can hide from him.  I suddenly dart down an alley separating two stores and run as fast as I can behind the buildings.  Once I don’t hear his footsteps, my knees buckle and I collapse to the ground, sobs wracking my whole body.

 

Why is he here?  How did he find me?  Niall can’t be here.  I can’t face him, not after leaving him like that.  How could he forgive me?  I left him.  I _left_ him!  I tore both of us apart because I’m selfish.  I’m so selfish I’m disgusted with myself.

 

I start to hyperventilate, breathing in and out rapidly from the run here.  Tears stream down my face but I don’t bother wiping them away.  I know there are more - much more - to come.  The pain in my chest is unbearable and my hands find my head, lacing my fingers tightly through my hair.  Bringing my knees to my chest, I close my eyes and let myself wear out.

 

My chest heaves over and over, making it harder for me to breathe.  My throat has long since closed, my breaths coming out raspy and shaky.  Heart pounding, I rock back and forth in self-pity.  The weight of the world seems to come crashing down on my shoulders.  _Why does he still want me?  I don’t deserve him, not one bit._

 

With one final wail, all of the energy leaves my pitiful body.  “Niall,” I whimper weakly.  “I’m so, so sorry.”  There’s no point for me  to say anything at all - he’s not here to hear it.  I simply slump over, waiting for the pain of my head hitting the cold, hard concrete.

 

But it doesn’t.  Comforting arms wrap around me, pulling me closer.  “Maci,” Niall breathes.

 

“No,” I moan, trying to push him away.  I can’t, though - there’s no energy to fight back.

 

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” Niall says, stroking my hair in the comforting way he always used to.

 

“I have everything to be sorry about,” I whimper, trying again to push away - but I only feel myself being pulled closer to him.

 

“Shh,” I says.  “I need you to listen to me.”  He puts a finger under my chin and tilts my head up to look into his eyes.  “Will you listen to me?”

 

I let out a small whimper, tears renewing in my eyes.  I nod anyway, the feel myself being pulled closer again.  The boy I love is right here, yet just out of my reach.  Nothing he can ever say will take away the guilt haunting me.  I don’t deserve any comforting words I know he’s going to say to me.  I don’t deserve to be in his arms right now.  I never have.  And I don’t deserve to be loved by him.

 

“Maci,” he says, squeezing my shoulders a bit.  “Please, just listen to me.  I know why you left.  You thought you were helping me.  But that’s far from the truth.  You leaving hurt me in ways that I can’t describe.”  My chest tightens again and another few tears roll down my cheeks.  “I was broken for those five - almost six - weeks.  I carried on, but I had nothing to carry on for.  Maci, you’re the reason I carry on.  You’re my everything, and I have nothing if I don’t have you.”

 

I can’t speak.  I just continue to cry, my whole body trembling.  There are no words to describe the swirling emotions throughout my mind.  Fear, regret, guilt, shame, sadness, heart broken.  But there are also others - relief, comfort, love.  Why?  I have no idea.

 

“Every day,” Niall continues, his embrace tightening.  “Every single day I tried to find you, but I couldn’t.  Every single day I sent you those messages, in hopes that you might just reply one day.  I meant every single word of those messages, and that still holds.”

 

He pulls back to look me in the eye.  “Don’t you dare blame this on yourself.  This whole thing?  Sure, you may have left.  But that doesn’t change the fact that this in it’s entirety is not your fault.  Since I met you, all you’ve wanted to do is please everyone else.  You didn’t want to upset anyone because you were afraid that what happened with your father would happen with us.”

 

I wince at his words.  They’re so true, yet they hurt so bad.  My sobs start to turn into hiccups and Niall brushes a piece of my impossibly dark hair behind my ear.

 

“And up until the day you left, you were just trying to make everything right.  You thought leaving would help me, did you not?”  I nod my head shakily, looking into his brilliant blue eyes.  “Well I’m here to tell you that it’s time to do just one damn thing for yourself.”  His expression falters a bit and I see a small amount of fear run across his eyes.  “Maci?  Do you love me?”

 

The weight of the question is impossibly endless leaving his lips.  My lower lip quivers as I contemplate my answer.  What do I tell him?  Lie and tell him no, breaking both of our hearts _again_?  Or tell the truth and be selfish.

 

“Don’t lie to me, Love,” Niall says, tilting my chin up to look him in the eyes.  “Please don’t lie to me.”

 

And just like that, I cave.  “Of course I do,” I whisper.  “I’ll never stop loving you.”

 

Niall’s eyes light up at my words, and he leans in to kiss my lips.  They meet mine and I immediately melt, feeling the touch of the pair of lips I’ve missed endlessly.  He kisses me almost cautiously, as if I might break if he pushes too far.  Dismissing his fears, my arms snake around his neck as if by habit and his find their way around my waist.  Oh, how I’ve missed him.  I’ve missed everything about him, and the full realization hadn’t really hit me until now.  How did I ever survive those long weeks without him?

 

I pull away, searching for air.  Closing my eyes, I hum a bit, thinking about what has just happened.  _I think I just got my Nialler back._ I furrow my eyebrows in disbelief.  I can be so horribly selfish sometimes.  But this isn’t only for me.  This is for Niall as well.  This will make _both_ of us happy, as long as I don’t get in the way.

 

“Maci?” Niall whispers.  I open my eyes to look at his handsome face, taking in the boy that I fell in love with.  _I want to spend the rest of my life with him_.

 

“What is it?” I ask quietly.  Suddenly, he grips my waist and hoists both of us to our feet.  “What-”

 

“-Please,” he says, digging into his pocket.  “Just let me do this one thing.”  I nod, then draw my eyebrows together as he grasps something in his pocket, pulling out a closed fist.  I watch his face carefully, wondering what he’s doing.  Then he gets down on one knee.

 

_He gets down on one knee._

 

I stumble back, my chest heaving.  Niall’s hand catches my wrist softly, steadying me a bit.  “Niall,” I breathe, my throat tightening.  Is he _proposing?_   “Niall, you can’t-”

 

“-I’m not asking you to marry me,” he chuckles, lacing his fingers with mine.

 

“Then what-”

 

“-Just hear me out,” he says quickly.  I nod and he takes a deep breath.  “I’m not asking you to marry me.  I’m asking you to make a promise.”  He opens his free hand, showing me what he’s holding.  My hand flies to my mouth as I catch sight of the beautiful ring in his palm.  “I love you more than anything, Maci.  I love you for you, no matter what you’ve done or what’s been done to you.”  Tears fill my eyes and I let out a strangled cough.  The emotion filling me is almost too much.  “Please, be with me forever.  Don’t ever look back.  Just close the door and throw away the key.”

 

I don’t say anything - I can’t.  My throat is sealed tight and my vision is clouded with tears.  Niall is asking me to make him a promise - one that I’ve broken, not even two months back.  He loves and trusts me that much.  I love and trust him in the same way, more than even I can understand.  But I don’t trust myself.  Who’s saying I won’t just leave again as soon as things get tough?  This is a promise to stay with him through thick and thin.  I’ve broken it before.

 

_But not this time._

 

I don’t say anything.  I only fall into Niall’s arms, tackling him to the ground.


	33. Epilogue

~*Maci’s P.O.V.*~

 

 

*******THREE DAYS LATER*******

 

 

“Ryanne, let’s go!” I shout into her apartment, holding my duffel and guitar case in each separate hands.

 

“Patience, child!” she yells back, stumbling out of her room with about five giant duffels hanging off of her shoulders.

 

My eyes go wide as  I see the giant load she’s carrying.  “We’re coming back for the rest of your stuff in a few weeks,” I say, readjusting my duffel on my shoulder.  “Why not just leave most of the here?”

 

“We’re moving overseas to live in the same apartment complex as _One Direction_.  I have to look my best.”  Ryanne looks at me as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

 

I roll my eyes, taking one of her duffels as she stumbles over to me.  “Niall’s just downstairs with your car.  Our flight leaves in about an hour.”

 

“Sounds good, chickie!” she pipes, shutting the door to her apartment and locking it with her keys.  Ryanne stuffs them in her pocket and we walk down the hall to the elevator.  We step in and I hit the ground floor button.

 

“Ryanne?” I say as the elevator starts its motion.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Thank you.  For everything.”

 

“No problem,” she replies casually.

 

“No, I really mean it,” I say, turning to face her.  “If you hadn’t called Niall, we wouldn’t be leaving.  I wouldn’t have the boy I love back, and I’d have been stuck with guilt the rest of my life.”

 

Ryanne shrugs.  “I knew it was the right thing to do.  Plus, we’re going to live with the boys now!  Can you say _fan girl moment?_ ”

 

I laugh and bump her hip with mine.  “Thank you for coming with me, by the way.”

 

“Are you kidding?” she says, her eyes lighting up.  “Moving with my best friend to live with my favorite band.  What more could I ask for?”

 

The elevator door opens and we step out.  Walking out the front doors, I see Niall is leaning against the idling car waiting for us.  He spots us and a smile at him.  He returns it and jogs over.

 

“Here,” he says.  “Let me take something.”  I let him take my guitar and my duffel, leaving my with Ryanne’s.

 

“Thanks Loverboy,” she grumbles, still struggling with the weight of her bags.  I let out a giggle and take a duffel from her shoulder, slinging it over mine.

 

“So how long is the flight again?” Ryanne asks as we near the car.  She pops the trunk open and sets her bags in one by one, followed by mine.

 

“About twelve hours,” Niall replies casually.

 

“Ugh!” Ryanne groans.  “The only bad thing about moving there is that it’s so far away!”

 

I chuckle as she slides into the driver’s side, slamming the door shut and leaving Niall and I out by the open trunk.  Sending him a smile, I turn to head to the passenger’s side.

 

“Oh no you don’t,” he says, snaking an arm around my waist and pulling me up against him.

 

“Well hi there,” I whisper jokingly as he nudges my nose with his.

 

“Hi,” he whispers back, leaning in for a kiss.

 

“I love you,” I say, pulling back a bit.

 

“I love you too,” he says, bringing my hand up to his mouth to place a kiss on the ring decorating my finger.  “Forever.”

 

“Forever,” I agree, leaning in for another kiss.


	34. Author's Note

Alright, so a few of you have really likes this story.  Honestly, it was one of my favorites to write.  I'm really glad that I finished it, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I didn't :P  But anyway, I've started to write a sequel on my other blog.  If you haven't heard of quotev.com, you should check it, it's cool.  But the sequel I've started to write is on there, and it's called  _Don't Wanna Be Reminded_.  Please check it out if you liked this story, but I won't post it on here until it's done like I did with this story.  I'm not sure when the story will be done, it might be a long time.  So thanks for reading so far :)

 

Here's the link for my profile: http://www.quotev.com/18738373

Here's the link for the story:  http://www.quotev.com/story/2718336/Dont-Wanna-Be-Reminded-Sequel-to-Close-the-Door-Throw-the-Key-Niall-Horan-Lo/


End file.
